Chapter Four
Jay had no idea how long he stared at his reflection.
The cuts and bruises had completely healed.
This was who he was now. He had to lean close to the mirror to see himself clearly.
At first, his sight had been slowly returning, only to reverse course and get worse by the day.
Something about damaged optic nerves swelling, causing them to attach somewhere they shouldn’t, and scar tissue making the healing issue worse.
His eyesight would never improve. The doctor who had performed miracles to save him had already confirmed it.
This was who he was now. That was all Jay could think over and over again.
The ragged scars, blindness, the permanent limp, and the missing finger—all him.
He wasn’t supposed to be bothered by any of that, but he was.
His looks had been his weapon. That was all.
Unfortunately, Jay cared about a lot of things lately he never expected.
He didn’t want to look at himself anymore.
Jay took a step back and dressed for the day.
His wet hair dripped onto his shoulders.
Pulling clothes on didn’t leave him winded anymore.
Months of living under Crisp’s care had done wonders for him.
Crisp had been patient as hell while helping him to regain his strength.
He was back to his daily workout thanks to Crisp’s slow accumulation of weights for him.
Unfortunately, now that he knew he could safely leave and take care of himself, he pissed off Crisp more than ever.
Jay chuckled under his breath. He had taken his fair share of ass chewings each time he sneaked away.
There were things Jay needed, and he wanted to choose those things for himself—like a new phone.
Plus, he had needed to gather the bags of cash he had stashed around the city.
Thankfully, he had accomplished that mission before his eyesight had gotten too bad to see more than three feet in front of him.
Jay had always kept a safety net in place.
He was glad he hadn’t gotten complacent or fully trusted his commander to the point where he stopped preparing for the day he might have to run.
When he had stashed his go-bags, it hadn’t been that big of a deal if any were discovered.
The money he had in the bank would have been sufficient to survive for the rest of his life.
But he couldn’t touch those accounts now, and he had needed to get to his cash before anyone stumbled upon them.
With each of the five bags holding approximately one point five million dollars and two handguns, financially speaking, he could disappear now and start over.
Jay hadn’t thought that would ever be an option when he had first awoken with a destroyed body.
Now, the only thing stopping him from vanishing was his sight and heart.
He was considered legally blind now. Even before he had regressed so much, getting around the island to grab his things without help had been terrifying.
Every second, he had known he could be attacked at any time.
He never would have seen it coming. Crisp was right to be angry with him.
He easily could have gotten himself killed.
The thing was, Jay had to hang on to his backup plan, no matter what the cost. Life had already proven his training correct: he could trust no one.
Now that he was healed enough to live without Crisp’s care—sort of—he didn’t know if he should stay or go.
Was he a burden to Crisp, or did Crisp want him to stay?
They never discussed his leaving, but Crisp got upset with him if he went anywhere alone.
Was Crisp only aggravated with Jay for endangering all the work he had put into healing him, or was Crisp upset at the prospect of losing him?
He drove himself crazy thinking about it.
Truth be told, his thoughts drove him insane, no matter the circumstances.
Crisp was always there in the back of his mind, making Jay desperate for things he didn’t even understand.
Since he wouldn’t solve anything today, especially while hiding in the bathroom, Jay opened the door and stepped out.
The bedroom was empty. In the blurry distance, he saw something colorful flashing.
Jay moved in that direction like a goblin enchanted by something shiny.
The flashing orbs were tiny lights encircling a tree.
“Merry Christmas.”
Jay nearly jumped out of his skin at Crisp’s shout. He refused to show it as he turned Crisp’s way. “You’ve been busy. I didn’t think my showers were that long.”
Crisp always stood and sat close enough for Jay to make out his features. He was smiling. “It’s our first Christmas together. I want to make it special. Come sit down. Fabrice made all kinds of treats for us for the day, and you have presents to open.”
“What?” Literally none of those words made sense to Jay, no matter what order he put them in.
Apparently, Crisp didn’t intend to clarify. He dragged Jay to the couch and forced him to sit. “Stay right there.”
Jay was too busy trying to catch up to think of going anywhere else. There were too many details to process. Their first Christmas together? Presents? “What?” he repeated, even though he didn’t think Crisp was near enough to hear.
Proving him wrong, Crisp plopped down on the couch next to him, facing him and sitting cross-legged. He had packages on his lap. All Jay saw was his bright smile. “Christmas. You know, fa-la-la and all that.”
Jay glowered at him. “I know what Christmas is. I’ve just never celebrated it. Why would I?”
Crisp huffed. “You know you don’t have to make everything difficult, right? You’re allowed to do fun things now and Christmas is fun. We get to eat all the junk food and open gifts. Bad movies litter the TV channels all day.”
“I can’t see the TV.” Jay wasn’t trying to be difficult. He just didn’t know how to Christmas.
Crisp handed him a box. “We can make a pallet of blankets on the floor close to the screen. Open this.”
Jay decided he should stop showing his confusion. This seemed important to Crisp. He opened the box. A thick, one-piece, bright-red outfit was inside. Jay looked at it in horror. “What’s this?”
Crisp laughed. It was a musical sound. “It’s fuzzy pajamas. I have one to match. I figured we could put these on, eat all this junk food, and pick some holiday movies to watch.”
Even though Jay didn’t understand the appeal, he saw this made Crisp happy. “Okay.”
Crisp’s smile grew even bigger. He handed Jay another package. This time, Jay panicked a little. He hadn’t bought Crisp anything. Jay hadn’t realized this would be a thing. There were no hidden packages for Crisp to open. An idea struck. Jay set the gift aside and headed for the bed.
“Where are you going?”
Jay held up one finger over his shoulder before dropping to his knees to dig under the bed. He grabbed a stack of bills from his backpack and hid them behind him on the way back. Jay sat and held the money out to Crisp. “Merry Christmas. I was unprepared for this.”
Crisp threw his head back and roared with laughter. He looked so damn happy today. Jay wished he knew how to keep Crisp like this. He liked the way his chest felt when Crisp smiled.
After a minute, Crisp wiped his eyes, still chuckling. “Thank you. You didn’t need to give me anything. When I decided to surprise you, I didn’t expect anything in return.”
Damn. He wasn’t doing this right. Jay hadn’t practiced this before. Maybe next year, he wouldn’t fail. Jay’s mind screeched to a halt. Why had he thought that? He doubted he would see Crisp again once Jay figured out his next step in life.
“Open your gift,” Crisp said, sounding excited.
Jay shook off his troubled thoughts and focused on the box. This one had bright red paper sealing it. It looked meticulously wrapped. Jay didn’t know what to do other than try to peel each piece of tape away without ruining the paper. The first piece of tape came away, tearing a spot at the edge.
“Damn. I’m ruining your hard work.” He stuck his tongue between his teeth and tried harder with the next piece.
Crisp released a put-upon-sounding sigh. He reached over, grabbed a section of the paper and ripped it away, revealing the white box inside. “There. Open the damn gift.”
Jay was confused as hell. “Why would you do that? You obviously worked hard on this.”
“It’s not ruined.” Crisp’s smile didn’t dim, as he explained. “That’s what you’re supposed to do. The wrapping paper is meant to be ripped away in excitement and anticipation. This is meant to be fun.”
“Oh.” He stared down at the half-torn paper, and Crisp was right.
Jay wanted to know what was inside. What was Crisp so thrilled to give him that he would rip through the wrapping in his excitement?
He had to know. Jay quickly shredded what was left and whipped the lid off.
There were a few different items inside, along with an envelope.
He picked up each thing and inspected it.
The first was a driver’s license. Jayson M.
Agafonov. Thirty-five. Six-foot-two with brown eyes.
The address was where they currently sat.
There was a matching passport, birth certificate, and social security card.
There was a strange feeling in his chest and stomach.
He had a new identity. His last name matched Crisp’s surname.
Crisp had connected himself with Jay. He picked up the key in the box just to hide the way his mind was trapped in unfamiliar emotions.
“That’s a key to the room. I don’t want you to accidentally get locked out one day when you sneak out.”
Jay glanced up and held Crisp’s stare. “Why is my last name yours?”
The happiness in Crisp’s eyes never dimmed. “Because I’m your family now. Open the envelope.”