Chapter Twelve #4
“I love quite a few of you too.” Jay spoke the words quietly and calmly, sounding sure and earnest. Every head turned his way.
Once he had the floor, Jay kept going. “It’s not lost on me we met badly the first time around.
My commander had sent me to do a job. I don’t know why I was chosen for his obvious setup.
I was a graduate of the program years before any of you.
” His eyes flickered toward Zeus. “Except for you, of course.”
Crisp watch Zeus’ spine stiffen. It hit him that the pair had the same training and were around the same age. They had likely trained side by side.
Jay didn’t wait for Zeus to confirm any of Crisp’s thoughts.
“My point is, I hadn’t heard of you, your escape, or the reasons for it until it was too late for me.
While I can’t sit here and say I would’ve made different choices if I had known the real reason I was sent, I can say I had already begun plotting my own escape from the program.
” He looked Crisp’s way. “Every single day of torture afterward was worth it because I ended up here. You are so easy to love.”
Tears pricked the backs of Crisp’s eyes at the words.
Jay focused on the room again. “Then I slowly met some of you one by one. Jett and Tidy fully embraced me as if I were family.” He motioned toward Foster.
“I know so much about you, it feels like I’ve known you forever, yet you know nothing of me.
Your husband is so perfect for you. It made me very sad not to have a seat at your wedding and watch you get your happy beginning. ”
He looked Crisp’s way again. “It breaks my heart every time I think about how you didn’t get that. You deserved to have your family witness our vows too. I wish I could’ve given you that.”
He returned to addressing the room. “Clay and Scout have been amazing, and Fabrice is a fucking treasure. He and Austen have gone above and beyond for me. I’m certain neither of them believed I was worth it at first, but they helped keep me alive anyhow.
” A sad smile passed over Jay’s lips. “I’ve watched Crisp mourn the loss of you.
He’s been steeped in guilt. We decided earlier today that we would tell you about me in the morning, so as not to ruin Foster and Atticus’ wedding.
Sorry life has a cruel sense of humor.” Another mournful smile passed over his lips.
“I don’t know how to heal this. But I know no one could love Crisp more than I do, and I want him to have all of you too.
He and Tidy have hurt badly since those results.
It’s no one’s fault, but I also agree with Foster.
It’s been hard as hell to helplessly watch their hearts break while you did nothing to stop it.
That is very sad considering how much he loves everyone in this room. ”
Crisp couldn’t look away from Jay. No doubt Jay hadn’t won any points in his favor for that speech, but Crisp had never felt more seen.
Crisp glanced Tidy’s way. His light green eyes were focused on Jay with the same expression Crisp likely wore.
Jay had stepped in when everyone else stepped out. They had won the lottery by having him.
Still, Crisp couldn’t let all the guilt in the room he saw stand. He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. “I’m sorry.”
Tidy took over. “Me too. We fully recognize that we didn’t fight. It was like those results proved everything we had always known to be true. We made the decision to stay here and not return to California with the family with open eyes. Crisp and I didn’t try—”
Tracker stood, stopping Tidy’s confessions.
Without a word, he moved to their side of the room.
He went down on his knees between them and pulled them in for a hug.
“I swear you two have never been invisible to me. I love you guys so freaking much. We should never have taken that test. I swear the results changed nothing in my heart.” Tears spilled over Tracker’s lashes through the speech, making Crisp cry.
Crisp realized the problem wasn’t those test results or Jay.
Every issue they had was a lack of communication.
As hugs, apologies, and tears made their rounds, Crisp felt drained in a way he couldn’t vocalize.
This was his family. He would die for them.
It had always been that way. They had just gotten a little lost along the way.
All the years of doing whatever it took to survive and then paving a pathway to individual happiness had caused cracks they hadn’t noticed until it was too late.
Memories of the way they had once leaned on each other and been unbreakable filled Crisp’s head.
He had needed this family meeting more than he could have ever known.
They weren’t broken. Nothing could break them.
Henry strolled into the room, unsuccessfully wiping blood from his hands and forearms. He seemed oblivious to their family healing session. “They’re part of the Irish drug ring.”
A groan went up from the guards.
Henry didn’t stop there. “They weren’t after Jay. Beau was their ultimate target. They just spotted Jay and Crisp and took advantage of an opportunity.”
A lot of head-shaking went around the room. Crisp met Tracker’s stare. What fresh new hell would they face now? At least they were together. The Agafonov brothers never lost against anyone as long as they had each other’s back, and they always would.