Chapter 20
Iwas acutely aware of my heart racing as we walked.
Zola remained beside me, a solid presence that lent me the confidence I needed to appear unruffled.
Because I’d just met a goblin! Laurent had been right.
He looked nothing like the goblins I’d imagined.
If anything, I couldn’t help but think of the Orcs of Truth series.
The one Zola and I loved so much. With his long hair shaved on one side, all the piercings, the tattoos!
Even his gray skin and pointed ears. So I tugged on her arm and said, “He looks exactly like I imagined Iarvosh would.”
“You naughty, naughty girl. Get your head out of the gutter,” she teased.
I thought about Bastian and Laurent, side by side as they walked. As much as I hated to admit it—because I hated to—I was more partial to Laurent. Both males were broad shouldered and layered with muscle. Bastian had more of a bad boy look while Laurent simply looked deceptively lethal.
I knew firsthand how lethal.
Thinking of him gave me a strange…itchiness in my body. It had gotten worse with each passing day. I couldn’t quite place it, but it intensified whenever he was near.
We entered the library. My eyes fell on the giant table and I faltered.
I rushed forward to grab my things sitting out for all to see.
I clutched them to my chest as everyone filed in, backing into the shadows.
Laurent appeared beside me as if something were wrong.
I stiffened, fighting the overwhelming urge to flee.
“There is a place for you on the shelves in the corner if you’d like to put your things there.” His low voice sent a rush of goosebumps over my skin. From fear, surely.
“The corner?” A small section that usually held books was now empty.
“For your growing book collection,” he explained, then moved away to speak to the others.
Laurent had reserved a whole section for me? I gravitated toward it. There was now an expanse of shelves with a little gold plaque in the middle that read, Lily Winifred Shaw, in fancy calligraphic writing, to mark my own space.
Warm tingles spread through my chest, down to my fingertips. These moments of lightness were coming more easily now, small breaks in the fog that had settled over everything.
At the apartment, I shared my shelves with Ania, who had actually been the one to purchase them.
I’d never had any bookshelves of my own.
I carefully placed my stack of textbooks and journal at one end.
Then I hesitated, and repositioned them on the other end, satisfied.
I stepped back, realizing how lonely they looked.
Laurent appeared beside me again. I faltered, holding my breath. “Vittorio will order whatever books you’d like. I’m sure Zola would jump to accompany you to the bookstore. She’s got an addiction,” he added dryly.
A breathy, eager sound burst from my lips and I flushed. He stepped away and Eleanor quickly replaced him. “This place is amazing,” she gushed. “You really live here?”
“I… Yes.” I decided to avoid the complicated details. “I love your hair, by the way.”
“Oh!” She ran her fingers through the loose, pink curls. “Thank you. I’m rather fond of it,too.”
“How far along are you?” I gestured to the cute little bump at her belly.
“Almost five months.” Her features softened. I didn’t miss the way her eyes flicked toward Bastian.
Both Bastian and Laurent stood off to the side chatting. Their eyes were fixed on us. Bastian’s gaze, especially, didn’t leave his mate.
My skin warmed at the idea. I wondered what it would feel like to be so coveted, so loved by someone that they couldn’t look away for even a second. Like all the love interests in my books.
“He seems as protective of you as Bastian is of me,” Eleanor mused.
I startled. “What?”
“Your… The vampire. Laurent.”
“Uhm.” Laurent was protective because it was in his best interest to be. Not because he cared.
“So…” Eleanor cleared her throat, eyeing all my mathematics textbooks. “It’s wonderful to meet another academic. How are you feeling about your doctoral program this fall?”
“A little terrified, actually.” For more reasons than one.
She laughed. “It’s intimidating. Believe me, I know. Getting a Ph.D… It’s not for the faint of heart. It takes real grit and dedication, but something tells me you already have that.” I flushed. “Any idea what your thesis topic will be?”
“I have a few,” I said, feeling more at home with the conversation as I launched into a series of mathematical curiosities that had her eyes glazing over.
“Wow, you really are a total genius.”
A laugh burst from my lips. “Sorry. I get…carried away.”
“Oh, believe me, I do the same thing with my research—“
“Shall we get started?” Laurent’s soft voice addressed the room.
Eleanor and I shared a quick look before we moved toward the middle of the room.
The large work table seated ten. At some point in the last couple of minutes, Vittorio had efficiency laid out refreshments. I spotted the mini cinnamon rolls and grinned. He caught my eye and nodded—sharing a secret exchange.
Unfortunately, those little cinnamon rolls reminded me of Laurent now. How he brought me desserts each night. I tried really hard not to think about how he went out of his way to bake for me. Instead, I reminded myself that he was only doing it because he felt guilty.
He’d probably keep it up for a couple more days, then consider himself absolved. What irked me most was that he hadn’t actually apologized. As if baking was an apology in and of itself.
He had no idea how much I craved to hear the words.
Every time I thought about it, my appreciation turned to anger. Anger was better than fear. Maybe that meant I was healing, that I could feel something more than fear around him.
Unfortunately, I still had a long way to go. I hated the helpless feeling that came over me in his presence. Hated how the sight of him made me freeze up. Hated that thinking of him put me on edge. That he still had such power over me.
But I was getting better. It was getting easier. I could function in his company, case in point, last night. I had actually…enjoyed myself. Which was why it had surprised me when he dismissed himself after discussing our new guests.
Had that been his plan all along? To make me more accustomed to him? Make me fear him less?
I purposefully took a seat next to Eleanor, forcing Bastian to take the seat on her right. I tried not to let my panic show when Laurent took the seat on my left. I sucked in a slow, controlled breath, held it to the count of three, then released.
He wasn’t going to hurt me, I reminded myself.
Some of my nerves dissipated.
Marco was the only one who remained standing.
“We appreciate you coming. As you’ve heard, vampires are being targeted for their blood.
At first, we couldn’t understand how anyone could successfully ensnare us.
When one vampire went missing, we didn’t think much of it.
But when it kept happening, our concern grew.
Our strength makes us nearly impossible to capture. ”
I braved a few glances at Laurent while I listened. He was relaxed, as if none of this mattered much. His face wore its usual expressionless mask.
“A few weeks ago, we received intelligence that worried us. We believe someone is using a powerful object to ensnare us. Perhaps something specifically intended for vampires. A ruby.”
A small breath left Eleanor’s lips. Bastian turned toward her, his forehead furrowed in question. I caught a glimpse of his hand holding hers under the table. Bastian looked around me at Laurent, “How did you come by this information?”
“Took it from a demon,” Laurent said.
“With blood?”
“Yes.”
“That must have been disgusting.”
“It was.”
“He only caught a glimpse of the ruby,” Marco clarified. “But we don’t know what it does or how it’s being used. We also don’t know who is behind this.”
Bastian made a thoughtful noise while Eleanor remained silent, her eyes distant and thoughtful.
“We are not asking you to find the culprit,” Laurent added, leaning around me to catch Bastian’s gaze. I stiffened at his closeness, my heart taking off in a gallop.
Bastian grunted in answer, appeased.
I tried to calm my breathing. It didn’t appear as if Laurent was paying attention to me.
Yet, his hand casually brushed the back of mine, which was clenched around the chair’s arm.
A part of me that had nothing to do with fear paused as tingles raced along my skin.
The tension in my muscles eased and I sank deeper into the chair, frowning.
“We are hoping,” Laurent continued, “that you can help us understand more about the ruby. I want to know what we’re up against.” He was closer to me than he’d been in weeks.
His left arm was braced on the table while his right shifted to the back of my chair, all but caging me in.
I caught wind of his scent and inhaled, taking him deep into my lungs. A faint hint of musky cologne—
My muscles twitched and I tried to sink deeper into my chair. Laurent’s eyes darted toward mine in question, like he sensed something amiss. A small furrow formed between his brows before he turned back to Bastian and Eleanor.
I licked my lips, resisting the urge to scratch my skin. I felt itchy. Hungry. I tried to swallow but my throat was unusually dry. My eyes darted toward Laurent’s throat.
There was a pulse there, faintly visible, slowly beating.
Vampires had hearts. I’d seen him rip one out in front of me, as if it were nothing.
He’d used me as bait for the witches. He was the reason I was tortured.
He’d done worse to others. Unspeakable things like ripping out throats and drowning in blood.
He was an awful, awful creature…
I glanced at his throat again, this time inhaling. Breathing in his scent. My eyes locked on the fluttering pulse there, which seemed to speed up under my gaze.