Chapter Forty-Two
Lilac
Irvin twirls the end of my hair as I concentrate on a paranormal romance I’m reading.
It’s Sunday, and all I want to do is lounge around the house.
The weather has warmed up a bit, and we’re nearing the end of February.
The snow has stopped, spring break is coming up, and oddly, I’m looking forward to it.
I don’t have to worry about studying for a while.
Irvin grabs my book from my hand and sets it on the nightstand. “My princess. I need to ask you a question.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, then presses his lips to the side of my temple.
I sit up straighter, stretching my legs out in front of me.
“You had a foster brother, right?”
I swallow thickly and nod, then I begin to peel at the skin of my thumb.
“What happened to him? You said he died at a young age.”
I pull away from him, trying not to show my distress. “Why are you asking about him?”
He sits up on his knees and cups my face, and his eyes narrow. “You never mention anything about your family. How did he die?”
I scoot away from him, my throat tightening. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
He places his hand on my thigh, squeezing.
“What about your ex-boyfriend?”
I lift an eyebrow. “What about him?”
“You told me you were worried I would turn out like your ex. I want to know what he did that made you think I would turn out the same way.”
I hurry up from the bed, putting distance between us. I’ve already told him too much about my life, and why this sudden interest in my past?
I have to be extra careful about what I say to him.
I shake my head. “It’s old news, Irvin. No need to worry yourself with the past.”
He leans down to bite the shell of my ear. “You’re panicking, my love.”
I straighten my spine. “No. I just don’t want to talk about dead shit.”
“Did he abuse you? Did he rape you?”
My shoulders stiffen. Tears gather in the corners of my eyes. “W-why?”
He strokes the back of my head. “It’s okay to open up to me.”
Goosebumps sprout on my skin. “Why? So you can use it against me?”
He stomps up to me and grips my chin. “I would never use your pain against you,” he snaps. “I want to know where your PTSD came from. Is your ex and your foster brother the same person?”
How the hell did he piece it together? How did he figure it out? Did I mention anything about Emerson to him? About him being my ex?
I try so hard not to show any emotion. “No.” Lie.
“So what happened to your foster brother?”
“He died.”
“How did he die?”
“Gunshot wound.”
“Who pulled the trigger?”
“I don’t know anything about that.”
He smiles subtly, then kisses my palm. “What about your ex? What happened to him?”
“Why?”
“Because I want to kill him if he hurt you.”
“I don’t know. We lost touch after high school.”
“The high school in Florida?”
I nod. “Southside High.”
His eyes widen.
I plaster a smile across my face.
Irvin pulls me into his arms, and I melt. Did he believe my lies? Did I get away with it?”I’m so glad I’m married to you. You’re being honest with me.”
Guilt eats at me like a disease, but I don’t care. I can’t let him know what really happened to me.
I pull away. “Where were you on the night Irek died?”
“Why would you ask that?”
“Just answer the question, Irvin.”
“I was with Jameson. He had a party at his mansion. I got into a fistfight with a football player. Jameson wanted me to help with the party because Keanu and Snow couldn’t make it.”
“If I asked Jameson wo—”
“Why are you questioning me? I don’t hide who I killed. If I killed him, I wouldn’t have a problem admitting it.”
His words send a chill down my back.
“I saw a video of you killing Irvin, someone showed it to me.”
“Who?”
“Unknown number.”
“The exact same unknown number you said threatened you?”
“I wasn’t lying, I know what I saw!”
He strokes my back. “Princess, I never denied you saw it. I clarified I never saw it.” He shakes his head.
“So that’s why you’ve been acting strange lately?
You thought I killed someone.” He kisses my forehead.
“Babe, I wouldn’t keep anything from you.
I’ve been upfront that I only kill for assignments and if someone is a threat to me. I wish you believed me.”
He storms out of the bedroom, slamming the door shut. He didn’t deny that he killed the other students. Only Irek. Though I can’t really trust myself on what I saw.
I don’t know what’s real anymore.
I almost got caught. I thought for certain Irvin had figured out who I really was and what had happened. I need to know how he connected the dots—that Emerson is my foster brother. I have to be careful. I have to keep up my lies. He can’t know who I am. If he does, I’ll lose everything.
I already lost my freedom to him, and I don’t want to lose my past, either.