Chapter 36
Willow Rogers
I slide my legs together, shaking the bed cover off my body. Heat flares through me, the sensation striking my core. I don’t remember my bedroom being this hot. I go to roll over but a hand skims across my belly.
My eyes open, neck craning to take in the person next to me. Fuck, I’ve missed this.
The only time we stayed the night with each other was the last time we had sex. I didn’t want him to leave, so I didn’t say anything. For the past month, I’ve been imagining Jayden lying beside me, hogging the blankets so I’m forced to cuddle with him. Not that I would object.
I smile, admiring Jayden. The scruff on his chin has grown out slightly, the same goes for his curly brown hair. I lick my lips at the thought of the marks Jayden would leave in between my thighs.
My gaze travels from his face to his bare torso. Every toned muscle on display, begging to be objectified. I reach out, my fingers grazing Jayden’s chest.
His eyes flick open at my touch, hands gripping my hip harder. Jayden drags me closer to him, until there is barely an inch between us.
“Am I going to wake up to you eye fucking me every morning?”
I laugh. “Maybe. Or maybe you’ll wake up to me on top of you?”
My skin flares, warmth rushing through me. I would love him to wake me up with his tongue. The dirty thoughts are interrupted by Jayden’s groans.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, Red.”
After our laughter ceases, silence falls over us. I wrap my arms around Jayden’s neck and rest my head against his chest. A sigh leaves me.
“I like waking up to this,” I pause. “To you,”
The vulnerability scares me for a moment. Until I meet his softening gaze. Jayden runs his fingers through my messy hair, twirling strands and laying them down my shoulder.
I melt into his hold further. “Me too,”
The past few days have been non-stop celebration after winning the Frozen Four, however, eventually, I needed a break from my teammates. That’s a lie. I just wanted to be alone with Jayden, there is a lot to talk about.
Words are stuck in my throat as I look up to Jayden, then back around the room. I inhale sharply, spying my sticky notes, which are pinned to a corkboard on his desk. “You kept all my notes?” I ask, my voice small and unsure.
Jayden’s reply is immediate. “Yes. I want every part of yourself you are willing to give me.”
“I’m truly sorry for walking away from you. I–”
“Willow, it’s oka–”
“–No. I need to tell you everything, so you understand.” I swallow. “You might know a little bit about my first boyfriend, but he was only the beginning. Nevada was where everything fell apart. I regret staying as long as I did, but I didn’t know where else to go.”
I sigh, but Jayden holds me tighter. It’s warm and reassuring–everything I want home to feel like.
“My freshman year was fine, but the following year, we got a new coach who was a misogynistic asshole. And my teammates figured if the coach could treat me like crap, so could they. For some reason, Kyle and I started sleeping together, and before I knew it, I was losing myself.”
“In the beginning, he was charming and protective. Too protective. Eventually, it turned into control. He didn’t have to use his fists to hurt me, everything was emotional.
Telling me I was too loud, too much for anyone to handle–” a sob falls from my lips.
“Then I came to visit Jazmine last year, and it was like a switch flipped inside me. Funnily enough, it was arguing with you that caused the epiphany.”
Pain is etched into every crevice on Jayden’s face, and it makes me feel seen .
He never lets go of me, if anything he is clutching me tighter like I might disappear. I hope he understands why I pushed him away.
“I put in a transfer request as soon as I was back in Nevada. I asked if I could join the hockey team but said if it wasn’t possible I’m not fazed.
” I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to stop them from watering.
“For the first time in my life, I didn’t want to play. In fact, I started to hate the sport.”
Jayden’s palm slides down my back, gently rubbing it. He doesn’t stop as I continue to speak. “I never heard back until the start of Summer, after your previous teammate was injured. I’d never been more excited in my life.”
Jayden breaks his self-imposed silence for the first time since I interrupted him. “I’m sorry for being a jerk when you first arrived. I don’t have an excuse.”
“It’s okay.” I bite my bottom lip, thinking about what I’m about to say. “I never really hated you. It was just your control issues that scared me. I hate the idea of being controlled by someone else, and I promised myself after all the issues with my ex’s I would never go down that path again.”
“Shit,” Jayden says. “That is not what I want. Even though you scare me to death when you’re off doing something crazy, it was never about you specifically.”
He pauses, and I look up, finding Jayden’s gaze on the ceiling.
“I’ve never told anyone this, but before Alli died, we had a fight–” I gasp. Alli and Jayden were basically our school's It Couple,’ they never fought. “–It was about you,”
I suck in a breath. “What?” I ask in disbelief.
“She always thought there was something between you and me. I never told her about the kiss because I didn’t want to make Alli doubt herself even more. So, that night when I drove her home, she was drunk.
Alli barely ever drank alcohol, making me blame myself. She started crying and I was trying to help her, taking my eyes off the road for a second.” A tear falls down Jayden’s cheek. “Then she was gone,”
I pull myself closer to Jayden, intertwining our limbs and warmth. “I’m so sorry,” I mumble into his skin.
“It’s okay. I’ve come to terms with my feelings for Alli and you.” Jayden’s fingers wrap around my neck, bringing my lips to hover over his. “I love you, Willow. I don’t know what will happen after we graduate, but I want us to chase our goals together.”
I lean down, resting my forehead against his. “I love you too, Jayden. Whenever I’m with you I feel free like nothing else matters.”
He doesn’t hesitate, capturing my lips. I pour everything into the kiss, running my tongue along Jayden’s lips. I want to taste him–devour him. Jayden rolls us over without breaking the kiss. My lips part for him, and I groan into his mouth when our tongues collide.
Jayden pulls back slightly, his ragged breath grazing my skin. “I need to kiss you every fucking hour to make up for lost time.”
My belly swoops, heat rushing to my core. I run my fingers through Jayden’s hair, pulling at the strands. He groans, dropping his lips to my neck.
He nips and sucks, hard enough to leave a bruise in his wake, claiming me as if he doesn’t already own my heart.
I gasp and Jayden stops the trail of kisses he was leaving above my breasts. So, this lingerie singlet top is good for something–no, stop thinking about sex.
“I forgot to tell you. I declared for the draft, and it sounds like the Lions are going to have the first pick.”
Jayden looks up to me, a grin on his lips. “Is that so?”
I hum. “Hopefully, they will pick me, but I’ve been talking to graduates from other colleges–”
Jayden cuts me off with a rough kiss. He pulls back, leaving his lips inches from mine. “They will select you first, I just know it. And if not, we’ll make it work.”
I smile and don’t let my gaze waver from his. Jayden cups my cheek, running his thumb across it. “You’re stuck with me forever, Sweetheart.”
“Forever is a long time.”
Jayden kisses me again. God, I could get used to this.
“Not long enough.” He mumbles between kisses and I couldn’t agree more.