Chapter 7 #2
“Well, it looks like you haven’t lost any moves.
I mean skills. I mean…” She started blushing as she kept trying to find the words.
It was cute watching her bumble her way through an explanation that didn’t sound like a double meaning.
“You know what I mean,” she sputtered, refusing to look at him as they walked back to his truck.
Carson couldn’t hide his smirk, nor did he attempt to. Without even trying, Allie had lifted his spirits and made him forget about the kids and their snide comments. “No, I don’t know what you mean. What are you trying to say?” He did, but he liked watching her squirm like a worm on a hook.
Just as he hoped his question would do, Allie glanced up at him before rolling her eyes. “Your sneaky abilities. I don’t know what else to call it.”
“Thanks,” he said, finally relenting. “You looked pretty good out there too. This wasn’t your first time shooting a paintball gun, was it?”
“No.” She glanced over at him sheepishly. He didn’t care, but he was surprised she hadn’t just told him. It could have saved him time.
“So, I explained all parts of the paintball gun and safety for no reason?”
Allie shrugged and smiled kindly. “To be fair, you never asked; you just assumed I didn’t know how.
” She had him there, but she hadn’t spoken up either, so it was both their faults for the lack of communication.
“It was sweet of you though,” she continued.
“And you looked so happy to be doing it, I didn’t want to spoil it.
” She started fiddling with her fingers in a nervous motion.
“If it makes you feel any better, my brothers still harp on me about safety, which I find an oxymoron since they were the ones always getting into trouble and not me.”
They sounded like a close family. He’d never had that.
After he’d joined the Navy, he’d hardly spoken to or seen his family.
Once he’d gotten out, he was bitter and poor company.
He didn’t have an excuse now, but he was used to being on his own.
“Any other hidden talents I should be made aware of? You’re a hell of a shot, so I assume there’s more to you than meets the eye. ”
“I grew up with three older brothers. Two are cops and one is a firefighter. My family was always active. We fished, hiked, camped, and hunted.”
“And you just tagged along?”
“Who says I didn’t lead the way?” she challenged with a mischievous grin.
“You got me there.” That’s what he got for assuming that with her being the only girl, she got dragged into things instead of being the one to lead the charge. He still had a lot to learn about this woman.
Allie laughed. “Honestly, I did tag along a lot at first. I didn’t like being left out.
And of course, with having older siblings, everything was a competition.
Who could catch the most fish and who could outshoot whom?
The list goes on. It turned out I had a knack for shooting.
Then I started getting invited less, but that didn’t stop me from going with them. ”
She was more outdoorsy than he’d thought.
He never would have guessed that in a million years when he’d first seen her with her hair up in a tight bun and wearing business attire.
Though now she appeared more relaxed in skin tight jeans, a long-sleeved shirt, and tennis shoes.
Her hair was in a half bun since it had been pulled free when she’d removed her helmet.
She appeared much younger and happier than their first meeting.
When was he going to learn to stop misjudging her?
“Do you still shoot or fish?” he inquired when they made it to the truck.
“Not as much as I used to.” She shrugged. “College and business took precedence. I still like to get out and hike and fish when I get time. How about you?”
“I still shoot quite a bit.” He had to for work. “I haven’t fished in years” He didn’t do much else besides work. Wow, he sounded boring. He didn’t date. He didn’t go out and party. He had a few beers with the guys, but he didn’t know anyone outside of his team here in Vegas.
“What about hiking?”
Carson was in the process of pulling his shirt off and had to stop and think about that. “It’s been a long time.” It had been a long time for recreational purposes anyway.
“We should go together. That is if you want to. I’m not assuming you want to.” She’d started babbling again. “Would you like to go hiking sometime is what I mean?” She managed to say evenly.
“I’d like that.” He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it in the back of the truck. He didn’t have a wet cloth to wipe off the paint, but at least he could put on a clean shirt.
“Oh my God,” she gasped in horror.
Carson’s entire body froze. Shit, he hadn’t even thought about what his scars might look like to her, nor had he warned her about them.
He looked around frantically for a clean shirt so he could cover back up, but Allie’s hand on his arm stalled him.
It was as if her simple touch held him immobile.
“Allie, I—” His voice stopped before he could utter his excuse.
It was like her touch had rendered his vocal cords useless as well.
He felt open and vulnerable, and he didn’t know how to protect himself from it.
He closed his eyes as shame washed over him like always when he thought about his scars. The monster they made him.
“I should go back there and shoot those kids in some not-nice places for hurting you like this.”
He turned around to look down at her to see not disgust in her eyes as he’d expected, but anger. “What?” he asked dumbfounded, finally finding his voice again. Knowing he looked as confused as he sounded.
Allie looked up into his eyes. “The bruises,” she said it as if it had been evident. Not to him it wasn’t. “What?” she asked, cocking her head to the side in puzzlement at his strange look. To her, it might seem strange. To him, he was used to looks of horror and disgust at his body.
It was why he always completely covered up, even during sex, so no one had to look at them. He couldn’t even stomach looking at them.
“Sorry, I thought…” His words trailed off, unable to finish his sentence.
“I know what you thought, Carson, and I don’t care about your scars,” she stated, taking a step closer to him.
“You may not, but others do.” Carson always wore long-sleeved shirts so people didn’t stare at his scars. He couldn’t do much about the ones on his neck and the side of his face, but he wore loose, breathable long sleeves to survive the Vegas heat and cover his scars.
“What do you care what other people think?”
“I…” His words stuttered, as a memory threatened to pull him under. Jenny’s look of horror at seeing him. The word ‘monster’ ringing in his ears.
“Carson,” a sweet angelic voice called him from somewhere far away and pulled him back to the present. He found himself staring down into a pair of eyes as deep blue as the ocean that he used to love sailing on. He could get lost in their depths. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” he replied gruffly.
“Where did you go?” Her eyes bore into his, willing him with her mind to confess his deepest, darkest secrets. Something he could never allow.
“Nowhere, I’m right here.” He maintained eye contact.
SEAL training kicked in to give the lie truth.
He had been tortured before. Some of the most unimaginable pain he’d ever experienced to get him to talk, and nothing had worked.
One look from her beseeching eyes made him want to confess all. He didn’t like it.
“That’s not what it looked like.” Allie was too observant for his peace of mind.
“Let it go, Allie.” His tone didn’t broach for debate. It wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have with her.
She looked like she wanted to argue, but nodded instead. “What about your bruises?”
He looked down at his arm and sure enough, several large round bruises were starting to form from his forearm to his bicep. Those little shits had had too much fun shooting him. He would have given Allie grief for recruiting them if she didn’t look so upset about it. “The bruises aren’t so bad.”
Allie raised one eyebrow, looking miffed with him.
“Are you doing the macho man thing when something hurts, but you’re playing it off because you’re a guy and men are invincible?
” Just like that, the tension was broken.
How did she do that? One minute he felt panic setting in, and the next, she acted like nothing had happened.
“Know a lot of those do you?” He couldn’t help but tease. He’d been enjoying their banter over the past week. It was usually via text, but the effect was the same. Carson felt at ease with Allie, except when she was focused on his scars.
“Older brothers, remember?”
Oh yeah. The cops and firefighters. Did they have the hero complex she’d accused him of? She’d mentioned cops and firefighters specifically, so he had to wonder.
“No, I’m not playing it off. It hurts a little, but not enough to need anything but time for them to heal.” He was no stranger to pain and bruises. Nothing was injured more than his pride.
“I’m so sorry.” She looked up at him with big puppy dog eyes.
For some odd reason, he wanted to kiss her and lift that frown into a smile.
Would that even make her smile? Why was he even wondering this?
He didn’t date. They were just…friends. He didn’t know what to call them. Friends sounded good though.
“It’s fine.” His voice was gruff and felt dry, like he had inhaled dirt. He took a step back, putting space between them, grabbing a shirt and quickly covering himself. “Where do you want to go for lunch?” he asked, closing the back door to open the passenger one for her.
“Do you like Chinese?” she asked, stepping up on the running board and hopping in.
“I do.”
“Perfect. I know a great place on Sahara Avenue.”
Carson made a mental map in his head. “I know the area.”