Chapter 8
Allie pretended to look over the menu. She always got the same thing at Chinese restaurants, so she didn’t need time.
She was using the menu to give her time to think.
She had so many questions she wanted to ask Carson but knew they might not be welcome.
She normally wasn’t a nosy person, but she wanted to learn more about him.
To understand him. She found him to be an intriguing man.
Which was funny, since a week ago she never wanted to see him again. Over the past week, she had learned there were many sides to Carson. He was sensitive, charming, funny, competitive, and could, of course, be very serious.
She liked fun Carson the best. Even when he was getting attacked by those adolescents, he’d looked like he was having fun.
She had seen a genuine smile on his face. Allie had watched him when she’d snuck off and formed the alliance with those kids—a decision she regretted now. He had stealthily lowered himself down from that platform. Observed the grace and strength he had used to make a silent entry.
Allie could see him in his element as a SEAL. He still had the physique. It was hard to see why he had gotten out. He was thirty-six. Close to retiring age for that line of work, but he looked like he was still in great fighting shape.
She had noticed his right arm straining at times as if he couldn’t lift it too high, but that shouldn’t be a reason for him to get out. He could still be a trainer or something. Admittedly, she didn’t know much about military life and all it entailed.
“You stare at that menu any harder, you’re going to bore a hole through it.”
Allie lowered her menu down to look at Carson, who was still looking at his own menu. “Everything looks so good; I don’t know what to get.”
His brown eyes rose to look at her. It was as if they could reach straight into her soul and pry all of her secrets out of her.
Not that she had any. She was a pretty open boring book.
“We both already know you’re getting sweet and sour pork and a side order of dumplings and crab cheese wonton.
What I can’t figure out is where you put it all away.
” His eyes roamed over her, though in her seated position, she knew he couldn’t see much of her.
She knew he wasn’t being insulting. Allie couldn’t say she was thin, but she wasn’t big either.
She didn’t believe in starving herself. If she was hungry, she ate.
She only had one life to live, and she didn’t want to go without food just to live up to some unattainable body image.
“I have a high metabolism. How did you know what I was going to order?”
“You told me on one of our phone conversations that your favorite food is Chinese and you’re a creature of habit.”
Huh. He did pay attention. That conversation had come up at the beginning of the week. She would say, he was a far different man than the one she’d met a week ago on their blind date.
“So why are you hiding behind your menu?”
He wasn’t letting this go. Allie wasn’t versed in lies, so she opted for the truth.
“I know you said to let it go, but I want to know why your scars bother you so much. Is it a vanity thing or because of the memories? I’m just trying to understand you, but you don’t want to talk about it, so I’m trying to distract myself. ”
“My scars aren’t something I talk about.”
The way he said it was so final. She knew when to retreat on a subject and move on. Maybe if they got to know one another better, he’d open up more.
Allie set down her menu since her guise to use it was over. “So, what exactly do you do now? Are you a spy or something?” She wagged her eyebrows.
“Why would you think that?” he asked, getting a weary look in his eyes.
“It’s a joke. You said you work for the government but won’t say what you do. It makes it sound mysterious. I didn’t mean anything by it.” Geez, talk about sensitive.
“I just don’t like talking about it. I got out of the service three years ago and got this job with the government on the civilian side of things.”
“Well, it can’t be clerical.” She wouldn’t believe that for a second.
“Why’s that?” There was a defensive look again. She didn’t know why he was getting so uptight talking about work.
“I just can’t see you sitting behind a desk for eight hours a day filling out a TPS report and protecting your red stapler.”
Carson barked with laughter getting her Office Space reference. “Who says I’m the one protecting it? I could be the boss confiscating it.”
“Touché. So, are you going to appease my curiously or keep me guessing what you do for a living?”
Carson folded his hands on top of the table. “Well, I hate to burst your bubble, but I do clerical work now. Not so glamourous and not much to talk about.”
She could see the reason now. To go from Navy SEAL to a paper pusher, that had to be a blow to the ego. “I set up meetings for Sandy to close deals on. My job isn’t very glamorous either.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. Sandy couldn’t do her job if it wasn’t for you. She may be a fast talker, but she doesn’t know how to find clients like you would. Plus, you need her cut-throat attitude to sell products not help find them.”
Allie laughed. “True, she’d yell at them and tell them they didn’t have a choice but to set up a meeting or else.”
“See, you both have vital roles.”
“As I’m sure you do. You may not think it’s important, and compared to what you did before is a major downgrade, but it doesn’t make what you do any less important.”
“Thanks,”
“Any time.”
“Is that part of your sales charm?”
“No that’s just me being honest. Okay, maybe a little of my charm, but mostly honesty.” “Well, you have me convinced.”
Alright, next topic then. “Why did you get out of the military?” Once again, Carson’s demeanor changed, and his body tensed. What had she said wrong this time? The man went up and down more than a roller coaster.
“Why are you so intrigued by my military life?”
Allie shrugged her shoulders. “I’m just curious about you. You won’t talk about your current secret government work. I already know about your hobbies, but I know nothing about the old Carson.”
“Old Carson?” His lip twitched like he was trying to suppress a smile. Which was a shame. He had a beautiful smile.
“Younger Carson,” she amended. He was only three years older than her. He was far from old. “You don’t talk about your younger years.” He didn’t really talk much about himself period. She wasn’t seeking his life secrets to sell them to the highest bidder. She just wanted to know more about him.
“I’m surprised Sandy hasn’t told you everything.” She could tell he was avoiding the subject again, but she wasn’t letting him off the hook this time. He had to give her something.
“Those are her tall tales. I want to hear it straight from the source. An unbiased opinion.” Sandy had been checking in on her every day, asking how things were going with Carson.
Allie was still being evasive since things were still too new.
She couldn’t say they were dating. This was their first real date.
They talked on the phone, but even friends did that.
There was no point in putting a label on it. They were just having fun.
“Are you ready to order?” A young female waitress arrived at their table.
She didn’t look more than college-age. The girl stared hard at Carson’s scars.
Allie knew it wasn’t in fascination but disgust. Like it was too horrific to look away, much like a bad car accident.
As much as Carson seemed to hate his scars, he didn’t do anything to hide them.
Not that there was much he could do about it.
They ran from his neck up the side of his face.
She had seen him without his shirt, so she knew firsthand they ran along the side of his torso and spattered across his chest. His arm had burn marks and deep scar lines as if it had been through many surgeries and never fully healed.
Allie wished she could shield Carson from the cruelty of others. Even by her staring as openly as she was, it was painful for him. Carson stared down at his menu as if he were still debating, but she knew he was avoiding the girl’s gaze.
“Yes, I am,” Allie announced, loudly slapping the menu toward the girl’s mid-section, not waiting to see if she caught it before releasing her grip on it. “I’ll have the sweet and sour pork and a side order of dumplings and crab cheese wonton.”
The girl fumbled to hold onto the menu before tucking it under her arm and writing Allie’s order on a pad.
“What are you having, dear?” Allie smiled sweetly at Carson. His hand rested on the table, and she placed hers over his. Even his hands felt strong. She’d only ever felt the rough callouses on his palm.
He gave her a puzzled look before ordering. The girl scribbled the order down and quickly darted away. Allie pulled her hand away and tucked both her hands in her lap. She could feel a lingering heat from his touch.
“Sorry about that,” she mumbled; she should have made sure it was okay to pretend to be his girlfriend and touch him before she had, but she wanted to show that girl there was nothing wrong with him. That he was handsome and desirable.
“Want to explain?” He didn’t sound irritated but mildly curious.
She shook her head. “How long were you in the Navy for?”
“Eight years,” he answered, settling back in the booth.
“How much of that were you a performing seal?”
His face split into a grin just as she’d hoped her joke would do. “Six.”
“Did you always want to be in the military?”
“I don’t know, did you always want to be an executive director?”
“No.” She chuckled at his absurd question. “I don’t think anyone dreams of that as a kid. Maybe owning their own company, but not a management position.”
“And what did you dream of doing?”