Chapter 30
Lindsey
Since getting out of the hospital, I've done nothing but doze and rest because Bronwyn won't allow me to lift a finger. When I'm not sleeping, I stare out at the gorgeous view and the tourists taking advantage of their summer vacation. And…I miss them.
Bronwyn didn't hesitate when I asked to stay with her again. Though I sense she knows there is more to the story as to why I'm back under roof when Kace is still wearing a cast.
She doesn't pressure me for answers, though.
At least not yet.
And for that I'm grateful. I am, however, fully aware that it's only a matter of time before she asks the big questions and forces me to face the fact I've screwed up. Again.
Thankfully Bronwyn is distracted, though. This week is all about wedding prep, and Bronwyn is knuckling down with help from the Babes, Eliza Bellefonte-Hayes, a wedding planner, and her other new friends in Carolina Cove.
Am I envious?
Yes. Because in a short amount of time, Bronwyn has found a new family. Created it right from scratch. And while I suppose I'm a part of this group, I still feel like the outsider looking through the window at the party taking place inside.
Bronwyn and Eliza are huddled in conversation near the counter, going over last-minute things, while I sit in the reading area, sharing the space with an older gentleman who fell asleep while thumbing through a mystery.
As though conjured by my thoughts, I see Madi walk into the bookstore and then remember what day it is. My heart sinks, and I jump to my feet. "Oh, no."
"What?" Bronwyn asks from nearby.
"I'll be back. I have somewhere I have to be," I say, glad I've maintained the habit of always wearing my small cross-body bag because it's with me now.
My car and clothes had arrived while I was in the hospital, and I’m relieved I can stop using other people’s vehicles.
"Linds? Lindsey, where are you going? You're supposed to be resting!" Bronwyn calls after me.
"I'm fine!" I feel amazingly better since my hospital stay and the antinausea meds kicked in.
The doctors warned me that my body will get used to them, and they might need adjusting, but for now, I'm living the antisick high life that comes with hours and hours of restorative sleep and being able to eat and drink normally.
The heat of the late August day leaves my shirt sticking to my skin as I drive the couple of blocks to Itty-Bitty Bakery. I practically run to the door. The bakery is closed, but I see Mak inside behind the counter and knock frantically. "Hey! Mak! Mak, please let me in!"
The tiny woman looks up and smiles when she sees me, hurrying over to unlock and open the door.
"Hey. Are you okay?" she asks.
"No," I say. "Please tell me you have cupcakes left over so a little girl won't hate me."
"Ah, yeah, I have some," she says with a thoughtful frown. "I was boxing them up for tomorrow's sale bin."
"I'll take them. All of them," I tell her.
"You got it," she says. "But really. Are you okay?"
"Fine. I just— I forgot to make cupcakes for Dani's dance class."
"Oh, that's right. Birthday week at dance for her, huh?" Mak asks, knowing from experience because she'd done the same for her daughter's birthday a few weeks ago.
"Yeah. We were supposed to make them together, but—it's a long story," I say, leaving out the part about my hospital stay.
"Hey, I get it. No worries. Do you have drinks?"
"No." Do I have time to make another stop? I glance at my watch and note I'm even later than I thought.
"Don't panic. I got you. Grab whatever you need from the case. I'll refill it later."
I follow her nod, and on the bottom of a narrow, clear-glass case are the tiny water bottles Dani loves so much.
"You're an angel. I'll take four sets of those too.
What do I owe you?" I whip out my card and pay, and then I'm off again, careful not to jostle the cupcakes too much while Mak follows me, carrying the water to the car.
While I load it, Mak returns to the shop and grabs the other two six-packs of water.
Traffic is thick and slow this time of day, and I impatiently tap the wheel as though it will hurry things along. Finally I make it to the dance studio, assuming Pierce is already there with Dani.
I know I probably should've let Elena and Kace handle things, but I'm the one who'd promised Dani cupcakes, and I wasn't going to break that promise.
I dump the contents of a small suitcase into the back of my car and load it with the water to wheel inside, then grab the cupcakes and make my way into the large building, smiling at the squeals of excited little kids racing around in a mix of leotards, leggings, and dance clothes.
I frown and come to a stop when I don't see Dani.
"Lindsey, hi. I see you're ready for Dani's big day," the instructor says with a smile. "I'll keep it short today so we don't run over pickup time."
I smile and nod, nervous but excited about seeing the little girl who'd so quickly crawled under my skin and into my heart. I'd thought maybe I'd see the girls at the hospital for a short visit, but…they hadn't come.
Nor had Kace, even though I know he had rehab in the same hospital building. That told me more than anything. Whatever I'd become to him in that house, it apparently wasn't enough to make him walk down that hallway and see me.
The instructor begins to gather the girls, and I worry when I still haven't spotted Dani among them.
"Lindsey!"
A small body barrels into my legs from behind as tiny arms wrap around me in a stranglehold. I laugh, and I adjust my stance so I don't topple over. "There you are. I was beginning to think you weren't coming."
"I got sick," Dani informs me. "Are you still sick?"
I see the worry and fear on her face, and I hate that I'm the cause. "No, sweetie, I'm much better now. The hospital fixed me up. But why were you sick?"
Dani ignores my question.
"When are you coming home?" the girl asks.
I sense him before I see him and look up to find Kace's large frame a few feet away. He's watching me closely, his gaze raking over every inch of me. I struggle to maintain eye contact. "Um, hey."
"Hey, yourself. You're looking better."
"I'm feeling better."
"Did you bring cupcakes?" Dani asks in a hesitant voice.
"Dani, honey, don't—"
"Of course," I tell her, cutting off whatever Kace is about to say. "I'm sorry we didn't get to make them together, but I wasn't feeling up to it, you know? So I bought some. They are over on the table, and they have little llama heads like the one on your birthday cake. I hope that's okay?"
Dani hugs my legs again and even presses a kiss to my capri-clad thigh. "It's perfect. I love you, Lindsey."
The sweet declaration is my undoing. It takes everything in me to blink away the moisture flooding my eyes. I tug her arms loose as I squat down and pull her close once again to hug her tight. "I love you too, Dani-banani."
My ridiculous nickname draws a giggle from her, and I revel in the sound. In the tiny solid form squeezing me tight.
"I'm going to go look at the cupcakes."
"Better hurry. Class is about to start." Just like that, I'm released, and Dani's flying across the room. I straighten slowly to avoid a head rush and tuck my thumbs into my back pockets because I'm not quite sure what to do with them. "Has she been crying?" I ask. "What made her sick?"
Kace steps closer, and the scent of his cologne does things to my insides. It's a mix of sandalwood and citrus and man, and…I love it. Maybe a little too much, all things considered.
But when preggo girl doesn't get sick at a smell?
It's a good thing. And a reminder of why I hadn't gone back to live at his house.
"She got upset about the cupcakes and…stuff."
"Stuff? Meaning me?" I remind myself that I'd agreed to our remain professional terms, but it's a struggle at the moment.
I didn't realize how much Dani and Madi would grow on me.
Or how much I'd miss my gorgeous boss. Standing there, face to face with two of the three, is hard.
Especially when I've been kicked to the curb, so to speak.
"She misses you," Kace tells me.
A low huff leaves me before I can stop it. "Ditto," I breathe softly.
We stand there awkwardly staring at each other for a long moment. I have to look away before I say something stupid like I miss you, too. "I guess since you're here, I should go."
"Don't," he bites out.
I startle at the force of it, and he lifts his hands from the crutch, expressions moving over his face faster than I can track them.
"Sorry. I just— Stay. Please. Dani was upset because she thought you wouldn't be here like…the other moms. She said she knows you're not her mom, but you're like a mom because you're pregnant and also taking care of her. She wants you here, Lindsey. Not me."
"Oh," I say when his words hit home. I'm flattered and love the fact that Dani feels that way about me.
I feel the same for her. But Kace's hospital conversation comes back to me once more and steals the joy from the moment because it's the perfect example of his worries of why we are no more.
Not that there ever was a we but— "Are you sure?
I mean, are you okay with what she said? "
I watch as he inhales and seems to process his words before he says them.
"Dani loves you. And she needs loving, caring females in her life. I just don't want her to get hurt."
I swallow hard. "I don't want that, either. You know I'd never intentionally hurt her."
He rakes a hand over his hair like he's torn on whether or not to believe me.
But then, his wife left him and Dani, and Madi's mom abandoned her, so Kace doesn't exactly have a good record of examples.
So why would he believe me? "Maybe… Maybe it'll be better now," I say as a compromise.
"Since I'm no longer living there, she'll see that I'm just a friend. "
"Yeah. I think so too."
Class starts, and I'm still feeling awkward. And more than a little hurt, though I have no right. "How's, um, Madi doing?"
Kace's jaw tightens, and I'm not sure why.