Chapter 30 #3
"Do you like Kace? I'm asking because I could've sworn the day of the girls' birthday party at the house, I caught some…tension between you two."
Her question brings back that kiss. The one that rocked my world and left me shaken to my core.
Along with all the other looks and touches and exchanges we've had that made for a wallop of a reality check.
One kiss and I love the man. That's a lot to process.
And the cynic in me is skeptical. Especially after what happened before.
"You know, silence is an answer all on its own," she murmurs.
I inhale and sit up, looping my arms around my legs, aware that I won't be able to do that much longer. "It doesn't matter if I do," I say carefully. I can't tell Bronwyn I've fallen for Kace, that I love him, when I haven't—and won't—tell Kace. "Because he doesn't."
"Are you sure about that?"
I feel Bronwyn's hand on my hair. It's growing like crazy despite the sickness I've had, and she lightly runs her fingers through the length. "He wouldn't have so readily agreed to end our agreement if he liked me," I whisper.
The moment the words leave me, I realize the depth of the rejection I feel. First the baby's father and the lies he told. Then his response to my pregnancy news. Now Kace.
What is it with me?
I know Kace is doing what he thinks is right. He wants to protect the girls, and I get that.
But knowing that doesn't change how much it hurts when I felt like I'd found my place. My found family.
Dani with her sweet smiles and dimples and those giggles that I can't help but respond to. Madi with her too-serious eyes and guardedness and the way she has just started to open up to me.
And Kace.
Kace with his deep voice and tenderness. The way he held my hair when I was sick and called me sweetheart. The way he kissed me, like he absolutely couldn't help himself.
"Maybe it's not only the girls he's worried about but himself," Bronwyn counters. "Maybe he's scared of falling in love and trying to protect himself."
I blink in surprise, my entire body going still. "What do you mean?"
"Gabe did the same thing to me, remember?
When things got real—and undeniable—he pushed me away and blamed it on Kace getting injured.
Gabe blamed himself, blamed me," she adds.
"But what it boiled down to is that he felt overwhelmed at falling in love.
He let his past relationship with his ex and the pain of that loss overshadow his feelings.
So he ended things and pushed me away because he was afraid of getting hurt again. "
She nudges me gently.
"And we weren't living in the same house and spending all day, every day together."
I huff out a breath and ponder her words. "Kace is worried about Dani and Madi."
"Of course he is. He's also worried about his job, his abilities and if he'll be able to continue working as a firefighter.
Gabe says PT has been rough, and Kace has been pushing himself and overdoing it.
Like he's…punishing himself for being human and getting hurt or—facing the reality he could have left Dani an orphan. "
"And," I say before inhaling, "here I am adding to the stress instead of helping like I'm supposed to."
"If by stress you mean care, concern, attraction and interest, yes. It's on his face every time he looks at you. But not in a bad way," Bronwyn says.
"It's not in a good way, either though, is it? Not when I'm pregnant, and our lives are so complicated on their own without mixing them together like a bad science experiment."
"Complicated is a good word," Bronwyn muses.
"But who says it would be bad? Anyway, I just got you back, and I'm selfish enough to want to keep you here for a few days at least, especially after the hospital scare and since I'll be a married woman as of this weekend.
So maybe you should rest and give Kace some space to come to his senses and figure out what he needs to figure out. "
Time to think would be good. For both of us.
"In the meantime, have you contacted Quinley? I know you probably haven't had a chance with everything going on and the hospital, but don't forget to talk to her."
"I'll contact her today," I say, inhaling. "I let my job search slide a little more than I should have while I stayed with Kace."
"Raising a family is like that, even a temporary one.
The busyness makes everything else take a backseat.
But don't wait too long. Quinley seemed very interested in you and very much in need of help.
I think it could be a great opportunity, and she already knows you're pregnant and will need workarounds sometimes. She seemed okay with that."
"Female bosses are usually more okay with those kinds of things than males who just don't get it. I'll call her today," I say again. "Actually, I'll call right now. No better time than the present."
"Lindy," Bronwyn says with a smile.
"What?"
"It's four a.m."
I blink before laughing. "Riiight. Okay. Then I'll…go inside and email. There. Problem solved."
Problem solved, I repeat silently. But the one with Kace?
Not even close.