Chapter 18 #2
No matter how much I wanted the promises they danced around—a bond, a family— I couldn’t forget these were dangerous shifters.
I’ll show her, Lainsz said. And before either of the others could refuse, he strode forward on powerful paws. Intimidatingly close. His presence, his nearness was a threat in itself. I could see it clearly in his icy eyes. He wasn’t bluffing about wanting me dead.
Lainsz stopped so close, I could see the flecks of silver in his pale blue glare.
I inched back on instinct, a tremor moving through my paws, but not at the way his body began to twist, and fold in on itself.
At the awful feeling in my chest, like someone had reached inside, ripped my ribs apart, and grabbed my heart in their fist. It was a feeling that pulled me closer, towards Lainsz, so I dragged myself back, trying to shake off the dark urge to get closer.
The shift happened too quickly for me to track it.
I had no idea how to replicate it, no idea what even happened other than the obvious: Lainsz changed from a wolf to a man.
A naked, muscular man. I hated this prick, but I suddenly didn’t know where to look.
There were muscles stacked on his muscles.
Arms so bulging he could snap my neck with a single movement.
Thighs so powerful he could run marathons and not tire.
And abs. He had fucking abs. I’d never seen them in real life before, only on TV and in K-pop music videos.
You hate this arsehole, I reminded myself and tore my stare away.
When it returned against my will, this time I found his face.
The same cold, frozen blue eyes as his wolf sat in a face made of hard angles and unending hatred.
Of course, this prick had to be as hot as hell.
A body like that could never happen to a good person, or the world would implode.
I really did despise Lainsz, but damn it was hard to stop looking at him. It was extremely difficult to stop my eyes dipping to where a shadow far bigger than it had any right to be hung between his legs.3
There, he spat. Easy. Now it’s your turn, killer.
Like before, that word made me flinch, and I saw from the narrowing of his eyes that was his intention.
What the fuck had I ever done to this guy?
No, not me. The academy. The same damn place that nearly got me killed by recruiting me, that was going to get me killed now by a wolf that loathed my bones.
Instead of entertaining Lainsz’s smugness, I turned so I could see all of them. I can’t do that, I protested.
So much for them helping me. All they were doing was taunting me, a reminder that I was stuck now as a wolf forever, and it was only a matter of time before the slayers found me and murdered me.
Verne, Leander said, turning his powerful head to look at the alpha. You’d be the best choice. If I let my wolf out…
Something passed between them, between all three of them.
Unspoken, but significant. And it was a sign of how fucked my life was that I had much bigger problems, and let them keep their secrets.
If I couldn’t shift back, I would have to live this way forever.
Well, until the slayers murdered me. But I didn’t want to live like this for an hour, let alone a day or a week or however long it took them to find me.
I didn’t ask him what would happen if I couldn’t shift back. I didn’t want to know.
The alpha, Verne, stepped forward and all my breaths left my lungs as his eyes settled on mine. A deep instinct, maybe from the wolf side of me, told me to dip my head to break eye contact. Or to drop to my belly in the dirt.
Fuck that, I thought with a scoff, but then my stomach was on the floor, my nose in the grass, in the mud, and—I didn’t remember how I got there.
What’s your name? Verne asked.
None of your fucking business, was my immediate reply. And right after it, Sadie.
What the fuck? I didn’t want to tell him that. I didn’t want them to know anything about me, let alone my name. What was next, my national insurance number? The password to my bank account?
The scent of a wood fire, as comforting and dangerous as any flame, wrapped around my senses as he came closer.
I shuddered, fur rippling as he brushed his body against mine again.
My eyes slipped shut. There were no words for this feeling.
I struggled to find anything comparable to make sense of it.
Eyes on me, alianazara, he said and my eyes opened before I could stop them. This alpha shit was no joke.
Start by reaching inside and finding the place where your wolf lives, he instructed, and I was so desperate to get out of his fur, to be back onto two legs, that I didn’t argue.
I kept my eyes on the ashen wolf and felt for that new space inside me, those new instincts, the place that made me want to cry because of this new bond.
Right now, he said, your wolf is in charge. Pacing inside you, making your skin itch, making your emotions volatile. But I want you to imagine wrapping your arms around her, and your wolf calming.