Chapter 22
Chapter
Twenty-Two
TATE
I look over at where Ara is joking with Joel as they leave the sparring hall. And the way he looks down at her … sees her as a sister, my ass.
I can’t see her face, so I don't know if she's oblivious or lapping up the attention.
I shouldn't care. It’s better to stay away, safer. Her accusation that I am trying to use her … mists if that isn’t a sign we are far past saving, I don’t know what is. And still, only a few days later, I couldn’t help but rush to the healing quarters as soon as Jared told me she was hurt.
Mists, I would cut my own heart out and lay it down in front of her, if I thought that would buy me the chance of getting her back. I shake my head at that thought. No, I wouldn’t, because staying away is the goal here.
I need to stay away.
They walk past me, Ara’s eyes meeting mine for a heartbeat before she looks away.
“Does your betrothed know you throw yourself at other men?” I ask before I can stop myself.
“Wait a minute…” Joel says, his eyes widening. His gaze flickers from me to Ara and back. “Do you mean…”
“Yes, she is still going to marry him.”
“First of all, that's none of your business.” Ara's voice is icy when she addresses me. “And second…” She turns to Joel, her voice much softer now. “Don't look so shocked. You knew this since we were kids.”
“But you said you didn't want to marry him,” Joel says aghast.
“Well, I changed my mind,” she snaps. There is fire in her eyes now, but also something that looks close to desperation.
“Why didn't you tell me?” he asks her, and isn’t that an interesting question.
“I don't have to tell anyone anything.” Her gaze flies from me to him and back.
“And I sure as hell don't have to let you two judge me for it.” She turns away, and I see her eyes filling with tears before she stomps down the corridor ahead of us.
I instantly want to rush after her. My hands curl into fists, and I stay where I am.
“What happened?” Joel asks quietly.
I give him a cold look. “I have no idea what you're talking about.”
For a second, he looks like he wants to add something, but snaps his mouth shut and sighs.
“I guess it's for the better,” he finally says, and just like that, I want to smash him into the next wall. So I turn and walk away. Nothing about this situation is even remotely good, and I will have another practice session with Ara this afternoon. Just her, me, and an empty arena. Fucking great.
I should have anticipated it, considering how our conversation ended, but I’m still surprised at how tangible silence can be. It’s like a third person in the sandy round of the arena.
Ara hasn't said a word to me since she met me at the gate.
No comment, no sass, nothing. Whenever I give her instructions, she follows them without complaint, and it grates on my nerves in a way I never thought obedience could.
So it's a damn relief when she finally opens her mouth, even if it is to snap at me.
“It's not your place to talk about my business with other people.”
“Other people?” I say. “Last time we talked about him, you tried to convince me that Joel is like a brother to you. So he’s hardly other people.”
“It’s not your business.”
“So you're telling me it's not my business even though you know how I feel about you, even though you will be part of my family? You'll be my sister-in-law, for fuck’s sake.” I pause. “Do tell, when is the big day?”
“First of all, I'm not your anything.” She takes a step toward me, her eyes shooting fire. “Second, we haven't set a date because I’ll finish my training first.”
“You still have time to win her over then,” Daeva comments.
Hope wiggles in my chest, but I smother it.
“No, I won't,” I tell her.
“And you call me stubborn,” she says.
“Well, then I’ll be sure to mark down the date next year.” I take another step closer and sneer down at her. “Sister,” I add mockingly, and she explodes. It’s the only way to describe it.
She reaches for me, grasping my arm a heartbeat before we are engulfed in flames so bright they blot out everything else. I expect heat and pain, but instead, there is silky coolness. I stare stunned at the flames surrounding us, yet they don't burn me.
“I’m not your sister,” she hisses. “I’m not your family. I’m not your fucking anything.” She lands one verbal blow after another. “I don’t even know why I put up with you and those stupid trials.”
“Oh, so you want to quit now and leave us hanging? Abandon us?” I snap right back, not even caring about the flames around us anymore. “I don’t know why that even surprises me.”
“Are you kidding me?” she seethes. “You are the one who walked away, who betrayed me.”
“What?” I search her eyes, but she closes them, shutting me out.
“It doesn’t matter.” She takes one deep breath after another until the flames sputter out, and she is back in control.
“The fuck it doesn’t matter. What are you talking about?” I ask, but she shakes her head. “Talk to me,” I insist, but I see it on her face. She is not going to give me anything. Irritation crawls over my skin. How many more dismissals is it going to take until I can finally let her go?
A glint catches my eye right where Ara stood, and I squat down, getting a closer look. A small, rounded piece of glass glints in the sun, and I reach for it, but pick it up with my gift when I notice the heat radiating off it.
Seems like her flames burn hotter than any fire wielder’s I’ve met before. So why am I still standing here? Why didn’t her flames burn me? I’ve never heard of a fire wielder shielding someone else from their flames.
Is Ara’s gift different because of Solaris? Or does it have something to do with her other ability? Something I know far too little about.
I look up, only to see Ara heading toward one of the arches leading out of the arena’s round center. She is simply walking away … again.
ARA
“So you are giving up?” Tate calls after me, and my skin heats again.
“I’m not giving up. I’m … taking a break,” I shout back. Anger joins the terror squeezing my chest.
“Running away won’t solve anything. And we need to work on your control.”
I huff out a breath. I’m so far from controlled, it isn’t even funny. The image of a few minutes ago dances through my mind, eerily matching my nightmare—Tate engulfed in my flames. And I have no idea how I managed to shield him from it. I ball my fingers into fists to keep them from shaking.
“Excuse me if we aren’t all made of ice and stone,” I walk faster. If I don’t get some space between us, I’m not sure what will happen … and that would sadly enough only prove his point.
“We aren’t done yet,” Tate shouts after me, but gods, I’m so done right now.
“Five minutes,” I yell back. “Unless you want me to set everything on fire,” I add under my breath. I storm around a corner to be out of his sight and run smack into another person. She gives a surprised gasp before she lands on her ass.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t looking…” I huff out a breath and reach down to help her up. Only now taking her in.
Her eyes are red-rimmed, her cheeks wet, and when I pull her up, I notice fresh bruises on her wrists and neck. She ducks her head and hides her arms behind her back as soon as she sees me noticing.
My anger flares up brighter, drowning out the terror. Forget Tate, I have a new, much more satisfying target in mind.
“I’m happy to set someone on fire for you if you point me in the right direction,” I tell the girl. Her eyes widen, but then a small smile tugs on her lips.
“I would like that,” she whispers, “but it would get you in trouble, so thanks, but no thanks.”
“I hope you kneed him in the balls at least.”
A surprised giggle bubbles out of her mouth before she claps her hand over it to hold it in. She shakes her head.
“I’m not a fighter.” She eyes my tunic and pants in their telltale gray, and her eyes land on the skyrider insignia on my shoulder. “Not like you.”
“So you are not one of the gladiators then?” I ask. My eyes land on the mark on her wrist, the emblem of the arena. “You take care of them.” I realize, remembering Tate’s words.
The girl blushes at my words, but nods.
“I could teach you a few moves, if you want,” I offer. “To defend yourself.” The girl’s eyes widen again. I guess she hasn’t had it easy in life if such an easy offer stuns her, and I’m even more determined. “I’m here daily in the afternoon.”
Her eyes dart behind me, but since I feel him approach, I don’t have to look.
“If you are done playing with your new friend,” Tate snaps, “we can get back to practice.” The girl instinctively cowers at his harsh tone, and I glare at him over my shoulder. His whole demeanor shifts from menacing to something softer the moment he takes in the scene. I blink.
He steps up behind me so close our bodies nearly touch. And while I want to ease back from his warmth, I make myself stay when I notice the girl’s weary gaze. He is not a threat. Whatever else is wrong between us, he would never harm me or her. She relaxes visibly.
“That has to be painful,” Tate says softly and gestures to her throat. Damn, I love this softer, warmer version of him. The girl glances at me but nods when I smile encouragingly.
“I’m a healer. If you give me your hands, I can make it go away,” Tate offers, and I soften even more. Could it be that I have it all wrong?
Tate holds out his hands, palms up, and waits patiently. The girl looks at me and places her hands in Tate’s when I nod, the only contact coming from whatever she is offering. Her bruises fade quickly, and her hand flies to her throat as soon as Tate is done.
“Thank you,” she whispers. Then her eyes widen. “But I have nothing to pay you with unless…” She bites her lips, her eyes flying from me to Tate and back, seemingly unsure if she should go on with whatever she was about to say or not, but Tate beats her to it.
“I don’t expect payment. I see it as my part to balance out the lives I claim.” He nods at her, then turns. “I’ll wait in the arena for you. Don’t dawdle,” he adds to me before striding off.
Damn that man. I look after him.
“You are a lucky woman,” the girl comments.
“Oh, I’m not … we’re not…” I stammer.
“It wasn’t my place to comment on, my apologies.”
A bell tolls in the distance, and the girl flinches. “I have to go. Thank you so much, both of you.” She smiles and then hurries off into the dark corridor. Only then do I realize she never agreed to let me teach her how to defend herself.
“That was nice of you.” I approach our encounter with the girl on our way back. “To heal her, I mean.”
“I’m not a monster,” Tate snaps.
“I never said you were,” I counter.
“Oh, didn’t you?” he remarks dryly while quickening his steps until I have to nearly run after him. I wince when I remember he is right, I did say something like that at the palace.
I keep my eyes open for the girl over the next few days, but I don’t see her. I even try to excuse myself to go looking for her at the end of our session, but Tate won’t have it.
“You stay where I can see you at all times,” he snaps. “No wandering off, do you hear me?”
“Yes, master,” I salute him mockingly, but that doesn’t go over well.
“Oh, you think what happened to your little friend was funny?”
“No, of course not,” I splutter. “Something like that won’t ever happen to me.”
“You’re damn right it won’t.” When he sees my stubborn look, he sighs.
“Who do you think has to sign off on their pardons once they have fought and killed their way to freedom? Just because I don’t agree with my father’s ways doesn’t mean every man in here is harmless. And they have very little to lose.”
“You’re only worried I’ll burn down the building,” I retort because that sounded awfully close to caring. And he can’t care for me, he can’t.
He huffs out a laugh that misses every trace of humor. “Sure, that’s it. Get to work. We aren’t here for talking.”
Tate is never easy on me, but today, he pushes me until the ground beneath me starts to shift, only to growl at me for stumbling into him, like it is my damn fault.
Later at lunch, a cup of tea and a plate with all my favorite foods land next to my hand. I look up from the food I have been pushing around for the last ten minutes and meet familiar golden eyes. My heart skips a beat.
I don’t know who I expected, but not him, not after the way he snapped at me earlier. My eyes wander back to the plate.
“I can get my own food.”
“Eat it,” he growls.
“Why?”
“If you faint during training, you’ll waste my time.”
“You don’t think I can keep up?”
“Eat and drink … all of it. That’s an order.”
“I’m ordered to eat fruit, cake, and … cookies?” My eyebrows rise.
“Yes.” His face is deadly serious before he turns and stalks away. I meet Mariel’s and Calix’s puzzled looks and shrug.
“The good thing is I know he’s not trying to poison me since he needs a full flight for the trials,” I joke while I pop a grape into my mouth.
I take a sip of the tea, and my eyes fly down the table to where Tate and Jared sit. The tea is just how I always drink it and contains the perfect amount of honey.
I make an effort and finish the tea and half of the things on my plate. The rest goes to Calix.
Again, doubt creeps in. What if he does care? What if it’s not just an act? What if I’m wrong?
But that would mean I messed up even worse and lost more than I thought.
I don’t hear a word of what Professor Riku says during geography.