Trig (Nine and Trig Book 2)

Chapter 4. Nine-Dark Fairytale

I stare down at the ridiculously long table to the man who grins at me. He lifts his wine glass in the air and by the look on his face, it seems he wants me to return the gesture. Instead, I raise my middle finger. He laughs. I sit there, stone-faced, with arms now folded across my chest.

“Rebellious spirit. I do love a fighter. The chase is always more fun when the prey runs. When I fuck you, and believe me, I will, I hope you bring that same energy to the bedroom.”

I bite my tongue to avoid speaking. He doesn’t get the privilege of getting a verbal reaction from me. Instead, I purposely tip over the glass of red wine in front of me and then watch it bleed onto the clean, decadent, white tablecloth.

“Come on, Nine. That was expensive. Don’t waste a perfectly good glass of wine just because you dislike me. I promise if you’re a good girl, I’ll be gentle…at first. You can even call me Trig if that helps.” He smiles and then pauses. “I mean, I say that because it seemed to work for Trig when he fucked one of my girls. He fucked her hard and fast and he did it while thinking about you. I’m dying to know what kind of pussy has that power.”

I stand up, fuming. Two of his men who sit in different corners of the room raise their guns and aim at me. I stare them both down because at this very moment, I’m not scared of them.

“There is no winning here, Nine. Not for you and not for Trig if you don’t cooperate. The only way out is death, and I don’t want that for your future. Do you? You both are good at what you do. So, listen, this is how things are going to go. I’m going to sample you once, maybe twice, and then you’re going to work for me as the best damn whore in Fiji. Trig is going to work for me full-time, and maybe, just maybe I’ll let you blow him occasionally. Of course, I’d like to watch because what fun would it be without me there?”

I am two seconds away from climbing this table like an angry cat out of the bath and shoving that table knife into the side of his throat.

“Oh, and Mya! How can I forget? Bidding starts soon. Her cute little face is up on a black-market site. The highest bid wins her after some major grooming. Question! If she needs advice, can we have her contact you for tips? Would you like that? Little mother-daughter time advice on hooking. I mean, did you ever think Mya would do the same profession as you? You gotta be so proud.”

I jump up on this table and attempt to do exactly what I’ve been thinking of, except by the time I crawl toward him I have two big men pulling me down off the table. I’m out of breath, my eyes are watery, and my heart is pounding against my chest. I stand there unable to move. A large man has his hand around my throat and another has a gun to my head. Carmen throws his napkin down, walks up to me calmly, and then backhands me so hard my teeth chatter.

“If you ever come at me like that again, you better be sure you can kill me. I will not allow a little Vegas alley rat like you to misbehave in my home again.”

“Give me that knife. I’ll be more than glad to finish the job,” I mumble.

He grabs my face and lifts it.

“You’re out of control. You deserve punishment. It will teach you obedience. I will not be gentle.” He stares at the two big guys on either side of me. “Bend her over this table.”

“What? No!” I scream. “Stop!”

I start to fight against the men, while pushing and pulling as hard as I can, but it’s useless. These two big gorillas throw me onto the table and hold me there while pinning my arms down. I’m still fighting with my legs until I feel a gun to the back of my head. I surrender as my shoes, pants, and panties are stripped off and tossed aside. With one hand, Carmen grabs my hair and violently yanks it back. I gasp. He then aggressively slams my face back down onto the table and holds me there. I cry out in pain. For a quick second, the impact feels like he may have broken my jaw, but then the discomfort slowly subsides. Just as I think this moment is going to turn for the worst, I see the side door open and a blonde woman walks in. I pray that maybe she’ll help me, but instead, she briefly looks down at me in pure disgust before she speaks to Carmen.

“I went through her belongings. This little bitch is pregnant. She has a bunch of OB/GYN appointments and a baby”s due date on her phone’s calendar. Wiretap also mentions pregnancy. She can’t make money for us if she gets fat. I told Vega to mention it to you before your men went all hostile takeover out there. Guess that slipped through the cracks, huh?”

The two men release my arms and step aside. Carmen looks at them, disappointed, and then roughly pulls me up and spins me around.

“Are you pregnant?”

I stand there, head down and hunched over, half-naked, trying to hold on to what dignity I have left. I refuse to answer.

He backhands me again.

“Answer me!”

I slowly nod as I hold my hand up to my cheek in an attempt to take away the sting,

“Take her away. Get rid of it.”

As soon as I hear those words, I react. I will protect my unborn kid at any cost. I throw my fist as hard as I can into his smug face and then I back up into the dining room table and shield my stomach with my hands. His men quickly grab my arms and hold me in place as anger immediately fills Carmen’s face. Carmen takes a step forward, hauls his arm back, and then with a mighty punch he delivers a hard blow to my stomach. So hard my knees give out. I cry out in pain as his men struggle to stand me up. I let my head hang low as tears well up in my eyes. With the air knocked straight out of me, I begin to gasp for air in what feels like an eternity. The pain continues to course through me like a freight train.

“Make sure that baby is dead. If that didn’t do it, finish the job. Make her suffer. I’ll be watching.”

I begin to weep as they drag me out like I’m just heavy garbage on trash day. They pull me down a long hallway and into a side room with a black door. Once inside, the two men tie my wrists together with a thick rope and then they place my arms above my head and hang me on a hook that drops down from the ceiling. They say nothing this entire time and leave when they”re done hanging me up like I’m butcher meat. I stand there, pained, with eyes closed, trying not to vomit, finding a will to live but also wishing to die. The sound of high heels clacking against the floor brings me back into the moment. I open my eyes, raise my chin, and watch as the familiar woman from the other room struts in. The first thing I notice is how much she resembles Carmen. They have the same devilish eyes and scowl. Her body frame is petite but her fierce face makes up for her tiny build. She stares at me with disdain while walking in circles around me. At some point, she stops dead in front of me, fluffs her blond hair, wipes her lipstick off the corners of her mouth, and then cocks her neck to the side.

“There is a lot of pressure put on women. I see you crying for something that doesn’t even exist in the world yet and I have to ask myself, why? Do you like giving up your time? Losing yourself in the process. What does it feel like to give everything to someone else and know that this little leech will never appreciate it?”

I look away.

“Kids are ungrateful fuckers, aren’t they? I’m going to help you the way I wish someone would have helped me. You belong to us now and that means there is no time for others.”

“Don’t do this, please. You don’t have to.”

“Oh, honey. It’s already been done.”

I see her look down at the floor, and reactively, my eyes follow her gaze. A puddle of blood gathers at my feet.

“No. No. No,” I sob.

“I’m just doing what needs to be done. Making sure we take away the things that consume you.”

There it is. That word consume. That is Trig’s brother’s thing. That is our thing. How much do these people know about us? I raise my head as she lifts my shirt. Her fingertips graze the tattoo on my side. She smirks.

“Out of everyone, Trig chose you, huh? I don’t see it, to be honest.”

She swiftly takes her elbow and rams it into my rib. I howl, as my body instinctively attempts to shrivel into a protective ball. Instead, the ropes on my wrist pull, burning the fibers into my skin.

“Sounds like you want him. Are you jealous?” I grunt out.

She walks in front of me, stops, and then composes herself. She looks dead at me, licks her lips, and smiles. I watch as she rolls her neck around and then she swiftly pulls her leg up and delivers a hard kick to my stomach. I cry out and then fall forward as sharp pains shoot up from my abdomen to my chest. The feeling causes me to writhe below the ropes that once again burn my wrists. My skin is now soaked in sweat as a gush of blood runs down my legs and I know it’s over. I know that my baby is gone. I scream in agony as my entire body folds and I just hang there like a jacket on a coat rack.

“Jealous? No. I’ve already had him,” she says. I snap my neck up and we lock eyes for a few seconds. She smiles. “Who’s jealous now, little mouse?”

“I never knew he wanted to fuck concrete, you cold cement bitch.”

She grabs me by the shoulders, pulls them into her chest, and viciously rears her knee up into my stomach. A red river runs down between my legs and it feels like my insides run right along with it.

“Broken is a good look on you,” she says into my ear.

That’s it. That’s the final blow. My body, my mind, and my soul give out, and that’s the last thing I remember before I shake hands with what feels like death itself.

***

My eyes flutter before opening to what sounds like someone habitually clicking a pen. It takes a few seconds for my blurry vision to focus as I stare hard at the fancy red and black flowers on the gold wall. I then slowly look down and take notice of the oversized bed I lie in. The minimal movements I make remind me very quickly how sore and weak I am. I try to comfort my confused thoughts by taking in my surroundings but it’s useless. It’s all unfamiliar. I stare down at the needle in my arm that runs up to an I.V. What the fuck happened? What type of hospital is this? I reach up and feel a damp rag that lies across my forehead. My head pounds against the fabric. A man with brown hair and dark eyes in a long black coat sits at the side of my bed watching me. Behind him I spot a small silver rolling cart carrying needles and other operating tools; some of them look rusty and bloody.

“Are you hungry? You must be. Do you remember what happened?”

I stare at him in silence.

“You lost your baby. You took a bad fall down the stairs. No broken bones but you do have several bruised ribs and you suffered a lot of blood loss.”

He reaches over to the end table closest to my bed and grabs a plate of food.

“My baby died,” I mumble.

“Sandwich, okay? If not, we have some crab or fruit,” he says, ignoring me.

I grab at my stomach. My eyes widen. I feel my blood run cold and every hair on my body stands up straight. It all comes crashing back. Every. Painful. Second. My breath catches in my throat before panic sets in.

“Get me out of here. These people are punishing me. They hurt me. Carmen and that blonde did this. I have a little girl that I need to find. Her name is Mya. Have you seen her?”

I nervously grab onto the man’s arm. He shakes his head.

“Miss. You just lost your baby. You’re in shock. There is no Mya.”

“They are going to sell her if we don’t get to her. My fiancé Trig could be here too. He’s tall with tattoos, has a big attitude, and is built for tackling people,” I ramble. “Wait! What the fuck did you just say about my daughter?”

I search his face for answers, and there’s nothing.

“Take it easy,” he says. “There’s no Mya, and there’s no man named Trigger.”

I attempt to sit up but the pain in my ribs slows me down. I look down at my left hand, my engagement ring is gone. I look back up at him in distrust.

“I never said his full name.”

In a panic, I start ripping the needles out of my arm.

“Please don’t do that,” the man calmly requests.

“I’m getting the hell out of here,” I say, as I attempt to move my legs.

I can’t allow you to leave. I’m sorry,” he says.

The man quickly stabs a sharp needle into my upper arm. I stare at him in shock as he sits there unbothered. I fall back against the bed just as Carmen walks into the room. He stands behind the doctor and stares at me in frustration.

“I told you that you’d need to sedate her. She’s a fighter.”

I push my hardest not to pass out but my eyes grow heavy and the room becomes dark. The next time I wake up again, I’m handcuffed to the metal frame of the bed with my arms over my head. My entire torso hurts. I grit my teeth as I move and wiggle in the bed. Carmen speaks up from the corner of the room. He’s in my face before I can even speak.

“I took the time to have someone come clean you up so you don’t look so…abused. That doesn’t sell well with clients. No one wants your sad little fucked up face looking back at them when they’re considering buying you to get off. We just need to put a little cover-up on those facial bruises and you’re good to go for pictures. So, for that, you can thank me later. Another thing…I hope you don’t mind, but we made some preferred changes to your look. I personally love a picture we obtained of you with red hair so we dyed it back.” He shows me the picture on his phone. One he probably got from my old house in Vegas. “It’s sexier, I think. I feel like it screams fuck-able. In time, it will grow out again, just like this picture. It’s like the old you is almost back. This is what you wanted, right? The old you? Didn’t you say you missed it? Well, you will miss no more, sweetheart. I am here to help you.”

I slightly turn my head to notice the red dye on the white pillowcase. I begin to shake in anger. He smiles and then he picks up a mirror and shows me the tattoo of a snake about two inches long on the side of my neck. Jesus fucking Christ. My baby is dead. Mya and Trig are nowhere. I’m marked like cattle, and my hair is dyed fucking red like old times. I stay silent.

“You’re mine, Nine. I marked you. I own you. Despite that, I will give you exactly what you want. That familiar feeling. You want total control and that’s not going to happen with me, but I’ll give you control over your customers. Play with them. Fuck with their heads. Mess with their hearts. Do as you please in that arena, but you will obey me, and in doing so, you are going to make me a lot of money, sweetheart.

I close my eyes, hoping this all goes away. My nerves are racing around in my body. I can feel them building up into an anxiety attack. I need Trig to calm me down. I need him to hold me while he places my hand on his chest. I need to hear his heartbeat and breathe into it. I try to mentally and verbally replicate the sensation I would feel touching him.

“Boom-Boom. Boom-Boom. Boom-Boom,” I mumble.

Mya. Trig. The baby. Fuck! The baby is dead. What if they”re all dead? Oh my God! Just breathe. You can do this.

“Boom-Boom. Boom-Boom. Boom-Boom,” I mumble again. “Breathe in…out.”

My hands and legs are shaking as I remember what happened. I flash open my eyes as Carmen reaches out to touch me. I grunt and flinch, which makes him stop in his tracks.

“Do you know you and Trig are a legend in Vegas? Every major criminal in the world has been talking about the new Bonnie and Clyde. The twisted story of a hitman and a hooker that fell in love, killed everyone, and then ran away to start a family. You two are like every dark fairytale I have ever longed to read…except…I get to alter the ending to your story.”

“Do you ever shut up or do you just like listening to yourself? Where’s my daughter?”

Carmen shoots me a half grin.

“I can see why you make Trig weak. There is sex in your eyes. Fire on your tongue and this delicateness to your soul.” He leans down into me. His nose and lips uncomfortably touch the skin of my neck. He inhales, taking a good whiff. “And I want it. I want to extinguish the flames within you until you are begging me to save you, until you have empty soulless eyes. Until you are nothing but ash.”

“I won’t beg. You want my flame? You better work for it,” I grit out.

He stares deep into my eyes, puts his hand on my stomach, and gives an academy award-winning sigh.

“What were you going to name it?” he asks. “Just curious.”

It? Fucking it! I’ll murder him once I get out of these handcuffs. I look away to remind myself to toughen up. These are mind games. I start to imagine all the things he’d done to Trig and how stupid I was to leave our house in anger that day. Why did I get in that car and speed off with Mya? Where was I even going? To save Tyler, the island womanizer. I’ll admit. I got tired of seeing that guy use and abuse the local women. If I was to make up a lie about anyone, it was going to be him. I was willing to make him collateral damage for my pride. I was angry and hurt and instead of actually listening to Trig, I let my jealousy and insecurities get the best of me. I lied to him. Tyler was never over that night. Truth is…I thought about drinking a bottle of wine to calm my pain, but instead, I poured it down the bathroom sink. I slid down the wall in our bedroom and placed that bottle on the floor next to me, and it was in that very spot where I sat crying for over an hour, wondering whose bed he was in. In reality, he was doing contracts.

I want to go home. Kiss him. Tell him I lied. I want to scream that I am a fool. In this scenario, we’d hug it out and go about our lives. We’d raise Mya and the baby that I was carrying, and we’d grow old, and like we always do, we’d fuck and fight. We’d have ten grandkids, and with our genes, they’d be amazing at everything they do.

“Losses. They happen a lot. Consider what I did a favor here. Take a second to imagine bringing another baby into your world. You two are criminals. You’re damaged, and that’s okay for this industry, but roses don’t bloom from ashes.”

“You don’t know shit about us.” I turn my head and stare at the wall again.

“Sweetheart. I know all about you. I’ve done my research,” he scoffs. “You’re just a broken girl from a trailer park who discovered her body is a fucking gold mine. You’re a survivor at all costs, and you found a way through the mud, and I truly admire that. There is nothing wrong with selling yourself for advancement. Men worshiped you in Vegas, as they should, but you messed up. You fell for Trig and you lost focus. Just look at you now. You’re weak, lost, and confused. I am going to help you. I will make you remember who you are. You are forbidden fruit…and trust me, the men out there will all want to taste it once I get the word out. People know who you are. They’ll want to lick the dynamite that is you.” He pauses. “Look at me,” he commands.

I slowly turn my head back to him.

“You and I both know you’re better than this.” He waves his hand up and down at my body. “Why be a photographer or soccer mom when you can be a goddess.”

“I’d rather die,” I spit out.

Carmen sighs again.

“Do you know why male lions kill cubs that aren’t theirs?” He pauses. “To start a generation that is.”

He slides one hand up my thigh and then grabs my throat with his other hand. He leans into my ear as I fight back tears.

“There it is. That flame. I see it starting to ignite and I’ve barely even started on you.”

He moves his face just inches away from mine, leans in, and then kisses my lips. I rebel by opening my mouth and biting down on his bottom lip which causes a stream of blood to pour down his chin onto me.

“Stupid bitch,” he yells, as he punches me dead in my left eye. I writhe in my cuffs and cry out in pain. He stands up, holding his mouth, and squints his eyes at me. “You’re going to regret doing that.”

Carmen storms out and slams the door closed. I can feel his blood running down my face and his physical pain makes me internally happy but only for a few seconds. My stomach begins to cramp and my neck burns from the tattoo. The pain and pressure around my eye kick in and it’s at this moment that I start to sob as reality hits. I keep silently praying for Trig to show up and save me. I want him to rush in and make things better like he always does, but he may not even be alive. My tears flow hard thinking about that. Five minutes or more pass before Carmen marches Mya in, gripping her by the back of her neck.

“Tell Mommy goodbye. Tell her where you’re going.”

My heart breaks as I spot a smaller tattoo on her neck that resembles mine. She’s shaking and crying. She tries to walk to me but he tightens his grasp, which causes her to shrivel into him.

“Mommy!” she yells, while crying. “I’m going with a man on a boat.”

“Baby, it’s okay. Don’t cry. It’s okay. Please don’t cry,” I say, as my tears continue to fall down my cheeks. I thrash my arms around in an attempt to free myself from the cuffs. Carmen watches in enjoyment. “You fucked up, Nine.”

“No! You fucked up. You fucked with the wrong family. You’re gonna die and I’m going to eat your heart, all teeth, no hands, motherfucker.”

Carmen looks down at Mya. “Your mom is a very silly girl. I think we should say goodbye to her now.”

“No!” I yell.

He roughly pushes Mya out of the room by her neck. He makes sure to slam the door behind him, and just like that, the brief connection I have with her is gone. Her screams outside the door ring throughout this entire room and my insides are breaking because I can’t help her. I’m yelling out her name and no one is listening except these four gold walls that begin to suffocate me. I yell and I yell until my anxiety kicks in and then I begin to hyperventilate at some point. The metal cuffs around my burning wrists feel tighter than ever. I feel trapped. I feel cornered. I feel a lot of things. This goes on for quite a while until at some point my adrenaline slows down and then I feel…nothing. I just succumb to the sadness. I don’t know how long Mya’s been gone now. Maybe minutes. Maybe hours. Shit, maybe it’s been days. I might have gone batshit crazy in here with nothing to do but stare at the red and black flowers on that goddamned wall.

Two men suddenly whip into the room like a tornado on cocaine. I’m too weak to speak and too weak to move. I can barely even keep my eyes open at this point. My body and my mind have both checked out. I don’t feel well at all. They’ve killed my child. They’ve stolen my daughter, and they’ve beat and drained the little bit of life I actually had left in me. These men walk over and unlock my cuffs, freeing my hands. They each grab an arm and drag me out of the bed. I attempt to resist, but I can’t. I don’t have an ounce of fight in me. There is absolutely nothing left. They drag me out the door and down a long hallway. As I’m being dragged around, pushed, and pulled, I take notice of the flowy white dress I’m wearing that has fresh bloodstains near my groin. The acid rises in my throat and I suddenly feel like vomiting.

“Something’s wrong,” I mumble.

The two men stay silent and continue to manhandle me. They tighten their grip on my arms when we abruptly stop in front of a red door. One man places his hand on the black knob and quickly opens the door as they both roughly toss me inside and leave. I land with a hard thud on the floor. I lift my head to see a small round table with Trig and Carmen sitting there. Trig is beaten up and tied to a chair with rope. His face hardens and his eyes widen as he sees me.

“What the fuck did you do to her?” Trig yells as he glares at Carmen.

Trig looks back to me. I can’t even stand up. My stomach is cramping again. I moan and drop my head, hoping to gain a little bit of strength.

“Get up,” Carmen demands. I don’t immediately move so he speaks a little louder. “Get up.”

I use everything in me to push up off the floor and stand. I look directly at Trig. His eyes water as he takes me in. I can only imagine what I look like, standing here with newly dyed red hair, Carmen’s blood on my mouth, my eye half-swollen shut, bruises everywhere, and blood on the front of my gown. We stare at each other and even though neither of us is speaking, a thousand words are exchanged. Trig turns his head and glares at Carmen again.

“Come here, sweetheart. Take a seat, Nine. We’re having a little family meeting.”

I slowly walk over, swaying a bit with each step. It feels like I may drop any second. I don’t even know where the pain is anymore. Everything hurts. Blood continues to drip down my leg. Every so often I take in Trig. His eyes target the blooddrops behind me.

“She’s fucking bleeding. You want her to bleed to death? What the fuck, Carmen?”

I drop my head as I sit down. I don’t even know what to say or do. I’m broken. Trig is tied up. Mya’s on a boat to get sold. What chance do we have now? We’re all going to die right here. Pretty sure at this rate, I’m going first.

“Nine. Look at me,” Trig whispers. “What happened when you left our house? Where were you going? What happened here?”

I keep my head down. It’s too many questions and none of the answers are relevant now. That day that I left, I was going to warn Tyler. I drove past his house, since his car wasn’t in the driveway, and straight to his office, which is next to our new rental space but he wasn’t there, so I headed back to his house in hopes he was home anyway. Maybe he was a womanizing douchebag, but once I thought about it, his character flaws didn’t warrant his death, maybe a beat-down at best. I wanted to get there before Trig did. I brought the gun to defuse the situation, if needed, because I fucked up and Trig would indeed murder him, lie or not. The worst part is that I brought Mya into this mess. I didn’t know Carmen’s men were following me. It wasn’t until one of their vehicles crashed into our car and snatched us up upon impact that I knew I completely fucked up. I let my emotions take over despite Trig’s warning about our safety, and for that, I hate myself.

“Okay. So now that the gang”s all here, let’s get started,” Carmen says. “Trig, we had a few setbacks we had to take care of to get you both back on track. I think we are exactly where we need to be now. I apologize, but sometimes these dirty deeds are necessary for all of us in the end.”

Trig keeps staring at me. I can feel him soaking me in, reading me.

“Nine, let’s share with Trig what happened here and why it happened so we can all be on the same page.”

I slowly move my head and stare at Carmen. I want to murder him.

“Go on!” he pushes.

I turn my attention toward Trig. It’s the first time I’m making dead eye contact. He can’t take his eyes off me as I start to speak.

“The baby is gone,” I say, hardly able to get the words out of my mouth.

Trig’s body tenses up.

“They beat me.” I begin to choke up. “Almost raped me…and Mya…Mya is…”

Carmen slams his hand down on the table. “Enough of this drama. Just fucking say it.”

“He owns me. I’m his property, and so is Mya. We all are now,” I say with no emotion. I turn my neck to show him the tattoo, but then I quickly begin to overheat. Sweat begins to coat my entire back and chest.

“Yes. Yes. There it is. Shit, you two are exhausting to me.”

Trig turns his head to look at Carmen. Venom in his eyes. Bared teeth.

“Triggie, look. I do what I do for us all. If I were you, I’d wipe that look off your feral face before I make Nine my personal bitch.”

I double over in my chair as my stomach cramps hit and then I cry out in pain. I fall sideways off of my seat to the floor and start dry heaving. Carmen walks over and feels my forehead.

“Get her some fucking help. You wanna take all this out on someone, take it out on me,” Trig yells.

“Trig, can’t you see? I already am. This is it. This is me taking it out on you.” Carmen turns his attention to me. “You’re burning up.” He pauses. “If you die on me, I will make Mya the biggest party favor this world has ever seen, so get back up on the chair or shit will get real fucking ugly. Get up!” he screams.

“Nine, get up. You got this, baby,” Trig coaches.

Against all the pain I’m feeling, I use the chair to help pull my weight up as Carmen grabs my other arm and throws me back into my seat. Carmen then makes his way around the table to Trig. He leans down and whispers in his ear.

“How does it feel to know that your woman, and your daughter will be working for me and that their hard work, the money they make, will go straight into my pocket?”

Trig takes a deep breath. “I feel nothing.”

“Oh, and why is that?”

Trig scoffs. “Because I’m going to kill you in the next few seconds.

Trig throws his head back and head-butts Carmen. Carmen falls to the floor in pain. His nose is most likely broken by the looks of it since blood is raining down his face. Trig roughly wiggles under his restraints and frees himself, throwing something sharp and shiny on the table. I look closer, and it’s a knife that he must have used to wear down the rope. He grabs a plate off the table and smashes it into Carmen’s face. Trig then grabs Carmen, throws him on top of the table, and starts bashing his face in. Blood is splattering everywhere. I make an attempt to stand up but fail and fall straight to the floor. My body is overheated, vision is blurred, but I can still hear the sound of two things. Trig’s voice, and the sweet sound of revenge. Trig’s fists continuously hitting Carmen over and over and over brings a barely-there yet wicked smile to my face.

“Sick motherfucker. I hope you burn in a thousand realms of hell, you bitch,” Trig says.

I lay there staring up at the ceiling, not knowing if I’ll die first or if Carmen will. My body growing weaker by the minute. I’m cold, clammy, and starting to shake profusely. There’s no sound of fist to bone rattling the room anymore. Just the sound of struggle and death approaching as I hear someone choking and fighting to take a breath. A few seconds pass by and the sound of a door opens. I hear a voice I’ll never forget. It”s Carmen’s daughter, Natasha. She yells, and that sound causes a reaction in me. It jolts me from my daze. I turn my head toward her and watch as she barrels in toward Trig. From the floor, all I can see is several feet battling back and forth before Carmen falls with a thud and Natasha is sent flying into the wall.

Trig comes to my side, picks me up, and throws me over his shoulder.

“You still with me, baby? Nine?”

“Yeah,” I faintly utter.

“We’re finding Mya and getting out of here, honey. Just stay awake.”

Trig out of breath with me over his shoulder, runs out of the room and down the long hallway. I can hear gunshots firing behind us. Trig stops behind a door and places me on the floor. He pulls out a gun he must have stolen in the scuffle and starts to shoot back. I’m beyond weak. My eyes refuse to open.

“Shit! Nine, wake up!” he yells.

He picks me back up and starts to run again. He’s breathing hard and fast while cradling me close to his chest. He stops behind another door for a split second.

“This is not what I wanted for us.”

More bullets start to ring off which pushes me to pry my eyes open. Trig runs toward the window on this two-story level home.

“We have to jump if we want to make it out of here.”

“Stop!” Carmen yells.

Trig turns around with me still in his arms. My head falls sideways. Mya is standing there in pigtails in a little white dress next to Carmen, who is only recognizable by his blood-soaked clothes, his face destroyed by years of Trig”s pent-up rage. He looks like something out of a horror movie. Bloody skin and broken bones hanging and poking out of places it shouldn’t.I have to open and close my eyes a few times to get a clear view of my daughter. I’m pretty sure I’m hallucinating at this point.

“Mya,” I whisper.

Trig looks down at me and then back at Mya.

“Nine, we don’t have a lot of time. Listen. I need you to be very brave. I love you. Don’t be scared. Fight!”

Trig begins to back up quickly. He places me down while holding me up with one arm.

“Don’t do it, Trig,” Carmen yells.

“Dear Lord. If there are any angels left in this world, send one for Nine,” Trig prays.

Trig turns, shoots through the glass, and with force, pushes me out of the second-story window. It’s in these few seconds I imagine hitting the pavement, smashing my head against the cement while every bone in my body breaks. I feel nothing but wind through the fabric of my gown and hear nothing but the sound of my heartbeat. I feel like all my sins are weighing on me heavier now than ever before. Baptized by ice-cold water, I feel it smack my skin before I sink. It takes strength that I don’t have to rise above the water level, but I try with no success. I kick my feet and wave my arms, but I have nothing to give. Eventually I let my body float to the top, and with one last bit of energy I try to flip over but I can’t. Instead, I just watch the bubbles from my mouth quickly disappear from sight. I feel myself losing air, and in my final seconds, I imagine a different life for us. We’re married and happy. We have three kids and an ugly-haired mixed dog named Bacon, which we all love. Trig leaves for work and kisses me goodbye every morning. I bake shit up like Martha fucking Stewart and everything is amazing. We’re just a normal family, and if normal ever existed in our lives, this would be it, but it’s not real. This is, and I have to accept it. In my final moment, I just want to tell Trig one thing. I. Fucking. Love. You. I always have and I always will.