Chapter Thirteen Purity
“So, you’re telling me that you’re about to do a home visit on this nigga?”
“I can’t stop thinking about him Roni. He doesn’t have to come in for a couple of weeks and I want to see him.”
“Girl, what the hell kind of impression has this nigga has left on you?”
“I don’t knowwww, I just know it’s something. I don’t necessarily know if I want it to be or not. Am I wrong for wanting to be in his presence and find out if what I’m feeling is real?”
“I don’t think your wrong friend. I just want to make sure you’re thinking with your heart and not your pussy”, Jania said.
“Shit, would that be so bad? It’s not like my girl has been getting any attention. For the longest I was just thinking Dom’s ass was worn out from work. All the while the nigga was getting his shit drained by another bitch.”
“Ain’t shit wrong with getting your back blown out. Hell, who knows, that hood ass nigga could very well be the remedy to that broken heart.”
“So, in other words Roni you’re encouraging me.”
“Indeed, I am.”
“What about my job?”
“What about it? What them motherfuckers don’t know won’t hurt them. You think it’s not motherfuckers that see niggas or bitches they’re attracted to, even though they’re clients. That nigga is free. It’s not like he’s a fuckin inmate and you’re a CO. That shit is totally different”
I don’t know if Roni was making any sense or not. Either way, she was saying all of the shit my naive ass wanted to hear. Trill has been on my mind heavily lately. Had me thinking all the way back to the night we met.
I asked myself if there was an attraction there all along and I denied it because I felt like that was the right thing to do.
My loyalty to Dom was undeniable. Too bad, he didn’t have the same amount of loyalty for me.
I feel like it’s time for me to explore some new shit.
I’m open to new possibilities and maybe even the chance of new love.
I don’t know what any of that looks like but I’m willing to see.
I don’t know if it was my heartbreak or this heartbeat between my legs that was causing me to think this irrational.
Was it really irrational or was I in my head too much?
Either way I made up my mind and with enough convincing from my girls I was grabbing my Chanel bag and my keys, and I was headed out of my office for today.
I plan to do my “home visit”. Trill wasn’t set to see me for another week and a half.
That was a little too long. Too long for me to know if what I was feeling was all made up, or if it was because of my vulnerability.
I printed off the sheet that held his address.
I know that he is a man that is always on the move being that he has shit to do, running a business and all.
So, I wanted to make sure that I caught him at home.
To me, that would be the only way that would make sense why I was there.
That is some shit that I really can back up in case push came to shove.
I decided that I would pop up on that nigga midday.
I had my work bag in the car to make everything look official.
It’s not necessarily too strange for me having to do a house visit.
The shit is protocol, every once and a while.
So, this will be his first one. Was I nervous?
Out of my mind. But I was determined to see the mission through.
I took my time driving the speed limit because I wasn’t necessarily in a rush.
I didn’t want to get there and not be able to utter a word.
I needed time to process my thoughts. I needed time to feel everything that I was feeling.
Time to build up my confidence and allow myself to live in the moment.
The last time I was in his presence I rushed him away.
I was afraid of the way he made me feel.
The way he made me question my morale. My mind has convinced me that he may be something like a guilty pleasure.
Like a thing you picked up in the store, put it down on the shelf because it wouldn’t be a good financial decision.
Yet, the thought of having it never truly goes away.
So, you go back to get the very thing that your heart desired from the jump.
Even though, you tried to convince yourself you didn’t need it.
That’s the exact impact that Tavian “Trill” Carter has had on me.
Just some shit that I can’t shake away from my mind.
Had I known that shit would turn out the way it did with me and Dom, that night after the club may have been different.
I was being such a tough ass initially, but he didn’t budge.
He was still nice to me, despite me having an attitude.
My wellbeing was still a concern of his, even though he had every reason to leave me hanging.
I judged him before knowing what his story was.
I can admit now that my presumptions about him were wrong.
It’s safe to say that I know that now and I’m willing to act accordingly.
The person I saw at our last meeting was vulnerable.
He showed me that although he can get violent, there’s also a softness to him.
I think that’s part of the growing attraction.
It’s just something about seeing a man letting his guard down to expose his feelings.
It’s not easy for a man to wear his heart on his sleeves.
Let alone, confide in a woman about the things he’s experiencing.
Especially a woman that he has no sexual ties to.
The same for me though. We discussed shit we probably should have never been touching on in the beginning.
With him, it just felt natural though. Just like the conversation did after the club shooting.
I was scared to go with him but being with him gave me a piece of mind.
There was a sense of safety that he provided.
Ironically, I haven’t felt it since that night.
“Your destination is ahead on your right”, my GPS sounded.
I made it on Trill’s street quicker than I anticipated.
It was okay though. There were people on every corner you turned.
Kids running up and down the street playing.
Real hood stuff. The thing that stood out to me the most was that everyone was happy.
No one seemed to have a care in the world.
From the adults, all the way down to the kids.
Everyone was doing them, in the most carefree way.
Thankful for the smallest things. I love that.
I made sure I had my gun on me just in case I needed protection. Making sure it was loaded before I put it in my holster, I felt secure. I reached in the backseat for my work briefcase before exiting the car.
“Tap tap”, I heard a sound against my window.
I turned around to face a handsome brown skin guy. He used his gun to get my attention. Tapping it on the window. I vaguely remember his face from the night at the club. He was one of the guys that was with Trill. I rolled my window down partially to see what the hell he wanted.
“You lost or some shit?”, he asked.
“No. Actually, I’m here to see Mr. Carter. Is he home by chance?”
“Oh shit. Is he expecting you?”
“Not necessarily. I’m his parole officer.”
“Awe damn, now I’m putting a face with the name. Purity, right?”
“Yes, that’s me”. I said laughing lightly.
“Mazi who the hell you have in my drive-… Purity, what are you doing here?”, Trill said.
I came from behind the car door and the handsome stranger closed it behind me.
“I’m here to do your house visit. Is it okay if I come in?”
Trill stood in the doorway shirtless. Every tattoo he possessed on full display.
His chiseled chest made it hard to not stare.
It was taking every bone in my body to remain professional.
I was more than sure that I was probably drooling from the mouth.
The man is sexy as fuck. I just know there is all kind of bitches I’m going to have to fight about this nigga.
Hell, I didn’t even fight for Dom. Here I am thinking about knocking a bitch head off about this nigga. He has me thinking crazy as fuck already. The man hasn’t even touched me. His words alone got me on a high.
“Yeah, come on in”, he said, in his always calm demeanor.
His tall frame towered mine as I was able to walk underneath his arm to get into the house. For a man, his house was immaculately clean. Not even a dirty dish in sight. Everything put away in its designated place.
“You live alone?”, I asked, as I walked around looking.
He chuckled before speaking.
“I do. You trying to move in or some shit?”
“No, not at all. Your place is just really nice.”
“Ohhh, you used to seeing niggas as pigs huh? Nah, your house is your sanctuary. That’s the place you should feel the most comfortable. I can’t think or operate in a messy space. Shit will have my mental all fucked up”
I nodded my head in approval. I didn’t have a rebuttal for his response. Though I did appreciate his way of thinking. I honestly couldn’t agree with him more. I took a seat on the couch and placed my briefcase on the side of me.
“Be right back. Let me put a shirt or some shit on”
I was glad that he had that much respect to do that for me. Him being shirtless was only making me weaker by the second. I was supposed to be there to do a job. Yet, miss ma’am in between my thighs was convincing me that she was actually the one that needed some work.
It didn’t take long before he was walking in the living room. Pulling down the white t-shirt that he was putting on. He sat on the couch adjacent from the one that I was sitting on. He made himself comfortable by resting his right arm on the top of the couch.
“This was unexpected.”
“Yeah, I know. We aren’t supposed to inform you all that we’re coming. Can’t have you trying to prepare just in case”
“I don’t know if I believe that”, he said cooly.
“Believe what exactly?”
“That you’re here because you’re supposed to be”