Chapter Thirteen Purity #3
“Y’alllll. I really wanted to see if everything that I had been feeling was an illusion in my head. When I got around that man, all I felt was butterflies. I don’t know, in a strange way it just felt like that’s where I was supposed to be. In his arms.”
“Oh, so you were in his arms?”
“He just pulled me in for a hug. One I didn’t want to break away from. Shit, neither one of us wanted to.”
As I listened to my girls talk, my mind travel back to the moment we just shared.
Never in a million years did I see myself in this position.
Never thought I would be seeing Trill in the light that I am now.
I’m glad that shit happened with Dom. It made me realize that sometimes you have to walk through the storm in order to get to that rainbow on the other side.
A flower can’t bloom without a little water.
With that reminder, I’m open to the possibilities of seeing what this thing can be between Trill and I. I’m in no rush to jump back into a relationship. I do believe in letting things happen naturally though. However, if things played out, I’m cool with it.
It didn’t take much convincing to get my girls to agree to step out with me. They were always down for a good time. All I had to mention was drinks and R&B. That was right up their alley.
Being that I was off early, I wanted to take my baby on an outing.
He deserved some fun time. I knew my parents wouldn’t mind watching him for me.
It’s been a good while since I been out to enjoy myself.
Really ever since all of that took place with Dom.
My dad wanted to kill his ass. I really had to let him know that I was good.
Hurt, but I’m okay. I didn’t need him, and he never deserved me.
Marrying him would have been a big ass mistake.
Though, he was probably never intended to walk down that aisle with me anyway.
None of it matters anymore. I’m putting all that shit behind me.
My only focus right now is to be the best mother I can be.
My son requires a substantial amount of time and attention from me.
I don’t want to waste any energy on a motherfucker that don’t mean me any good.
I spent way too many nights waiting up on a motherfucker.
Way too much time wondering if I was the problem with my overthinking. I ain’t on that anymore.
I want to be happy, and I will be. With or without a nigga.
I can always stand on my own. that’s never been the issue.
Shit, maybe that’s the reason the nigga was scouting for something new.
A nigga isn’t something I needed. If anything, I’m what a nigga needed.
He needed to feel needed, and I didn’t provide that ego boost for him.
That’s some shit, I won’t apologize for. I was raised to get it on my own. I will never in life give a nigga power over my well-being. Me and my son won’t be on our asses due to a nigga having a bitch fit. I’m good on that.
When I made it to my parents to pick up baby boy, I found him playing the yard with his Papa.
As soon as he saw me, he was running to me.
I exited the car and met him mid stride.
My baby misses me even if I’m only gone for fifteen minutes.
I’m really his safe space. I love providing him that comfort to be himself.
“How was your day baby?”
I picked my baby up and hugged my daddy.
“Today was really good dad. Probably one of the best days that I had in a while.”
“That’s good to hear. You’re looking good. It’s always good to see you in good spirits.”
“I have no complaints with life right now daddy.”
“You shouldn’t. your alive and well, and baby boy is in good health.
You have a roof over your head, clothes on your body, shoes on your feet.
All of the necessities of life. A man is only an extra.
Should never be something that takes away from Purity.
The goal of a partner is to add to you. Any nigga taking from you ain’t worth your time any damn way.
No matter the profession. A nigga that’s full of shit, will always be full of shit. ”
I laughed at my daddy. One thing about him, he’ll always be him.
There has never been a time in life that I remember my dad holding anything back.
He’s always straight no chaser. That’s what I love about him.
Whether the shit that he has to say will make you or break you, he doesn’t give a damn. He’s going to say it anyway.
We went in the house where I found my mom sitting at the bar in the kitchen. On the countertop rested a freshly made poundcake.
“Hey ma”, I said, planting a kiss on her cheek.
“Hey baby, I love that outfit and is that a new perfume you’re wearing?”
“It is. I got on the new Gucci Dreams.”
“You need to gift your mama that one baby. It smells damn good.”
“I got you ma. I’m going to wash my hands and cut me a slice of cake.”
“You can have a slice baby, but I made you and Zakai one to take home.”
“Thank you, Ma.”
My parents are always thinking of me and my baby. There is nothing in this world that they can’t have from me. The way they go all out to have my back when it comes to my child is something that will never go unnoticed.
“It’s the weekend and you need to get out and let your hair down. Zakai can stay here tonight. Call up Roni and Jania and y’all girls go have some fun.”
“That’s funny that you said that ma. I was actually going to ask y’all to watch him for a couple of hours tonight so that I could go out.”
“You deserve it baby, so yes. But you don’t have to worry about rushing to get him. He’ll just stay here with us tonight.”
“Thank y’all so much Ma. I do want to take him on an outing first though. He deserves a playdate.”
My mama felt it was a good idea for Zakai.
It’s been a while since he went and had some fun.
I packed him a light bag and we headed straight to the Newtopia Play Park.
This is one of his favorite places to come.
It has everything that a toddler would want to play with.
Slides, ball pits, pretend playhouses, etc.
Depending on the time of day we go, it can be a sensory overload.
I found that if we make it close to closing, he does a little better.
Loud noises overstimulate him fast. I actually want him to enjoy playing and not have a meltdown.
I was filled with excitement when I pulled in the parking lot.
There were only three cars presents, which was a great thing.
I knew my baby would enjoy himself. He needed the freedom to run around and play like he wanted to.
He leaned up in his seat when he realized where we were.
He began to clap and stim. I knew that he was excited by the big grin that he wore on his face.