Chapter 38
THIRTY-EIGHT
MEREDITH
Our Saturday night is hopping, but both Molly and Brenner are at work.
The three Cross brothers are present, and like last week, there’s a higher percentage of women in the taproom.
More ladies, but less clothing among them.
They would be horrified if they knew what I did with one of the Cross brothers by the door they had to walk through to get in here.
I die inside a little every time I think of it, but my body comes alive.
The past week has been packed with the best sex of my life.
Even last night, when Calder seemed lost in his head, he still made me come three times before he curled me against him to sleep.
I didn’t have to ask why. When I walked outside, my gaze strayed to the shop.
I was too afraid to go in. The sadness isn’t suffocating anymore, but if I see the car, I might stop breathing.
I drop a flight off to Ben. Declan snags the stout, takes a drink, and acts like he’s chewing after he swallows.
“Still a no?” I ask with a laugh.
He shakes his head. “I’m going to keep trying until I see what he likes about that stuff.”
Ben hands him the Honey Creek. “So, Meredith. The broody eldest is still looking like a hungry lion ready to eat you.”
A blaze flames up my neck and into my cheeks. “Yeah?” I say, my voice too high to be casual.
Ben’s mouth drops open. “I knew it.” He smiles triumphantly at Declan. “You owe me.”
Declan shakes his head. “I thought you were holding strong, Meredith, but I should’ve known. I doubt many women keep their resolve—or their panties—around the Cross brothers.”
“I don’t think there are that many panties on in this crowd.” Ben and Declan share a knowing look.
“What’s that?” I say lightly. “Someone’s calling for a refill.” I speed away. With so many of us, no customers are ready for a refill.
When I return to the bar, Calder and his brothers are crowded at the end, deep in conversation.
I’ve seen them gathered like this a few times since they’ve all been together, but it hits me now.
In one week today, they’ll leave. Can I suspend this moment?
Have a Groundhog Day of today, where I get to wake up with Calder, spend the day doing what I love with him, watch him laugh and joke around with his brothers, and then he and I will go to bed together at night?
“I’m taking a break,” I say to Molly.
“There’s a first time for everything.” She winks. “Go, before we get another rush.”
No one’s in the barrel room, so I head in there. The patio is full, and going upstairs to the office wouldn’t feel like I’m getting breather. I just need to sit and think about—
No. I want to not think right now.
I sit at one of the long tables that are just like what we have on the patio. Sounds from the taproom are muffled, making it more of a white noise. Closing my eyes, I let my mind wander, but I only see flashing dark eyes and a smile that hasn’t been used often.
His footsteps are quiet. Heat wraps around me, and there’s a small thunk. He’s set something in front of me.
“Am I intruding?”
I open my eyes to meet Calder’s warm gaze. “No. I needed some quiet, but you’re the exception.”
He sits sideways, his legs bracketing me. “What’s wrong?”
I curl my hand around the glass of beer he brought me. I don’t have to ask or taste it to know it’s Honey Creek. The light straw color is ingrained in me. “You mean, other than having a week to decide if I want to sell and move away from my home?”
“Denver’s my home.”
“Is it?” I shake my head before he can answer. “That’s why I’m in here. I don’t want to think about it, but it’s hard to be out there, around everyone. They think it’s all going to stay the same, but it’s not. No matter what, it’s not. In a week, your brothers are leaving.”
His hand lands at the small of my back. “I will be too.”
My heart trips over itself. “What?”
“A client is flying into town Tuesday. One of my account managers made a mistake, and my client’s upset.
He’s been with me since almost the beginning.
” An apology I don’t want shines in his eyes.
“Bowen and Landry need a ride to the airport, and if I take off from there, I’ll arrive with plenty of time to catch up in my office and save that account by Tuesday. ”
“Oh,” I say on an exhale. How convenient. I’ve been agonizing over the decision, but he’s going about business as usual. “Well, I said I’d give you guys until Saturday. Guess we’ll all know the answer before you leave town.”
I drink down half my beer.
“Meredith—”
“You know what my favorite color is?”
He blinks and goes quiet, thankfully not finishing whatever he was going to say. “Blush, like your cheeks?”
My face warms to the color he just referred to. He trails a finger along my jaw.
“Oh, wait. That’s my favorite.”
That line could forever work on me.
“The green of the pastures in June.” Before he thinks I’m trying to wield nostalgia against him, I smile.
“June because of the spring melt and the rain. It’s before the heat bakes a brown hue onto everything.
I don’t remember a lot of Rolla, and it’s only four hours away, but I know it was green.
Lush and brilliant. I see that here. But only in June. ”
“Or if July or August are wet months?”
“True. But there aren’t any oil wells in Rolla, and a few more trees.” I run my thumb along the cool glass. “What’s your favorite movie?”
“I don’t watch TV, rosy.”
“Don’t you go to a movie?” When he shakes his head, my eyes widen. “What do you for a date night?” I hold up my hand. “Don’t answer.”
His chuckle is soft. “I suffered on date nights. All I wanted was physical release, but I had to gut through dinner and a performance of some sort.”
“The opera? A play? How awful.”
“Smart-ass.”
Grinning, I hold my glass up like I’m toasting. “Last year, I went to the high school play, and I sat next to two middle-schoolers. They were holding hands.”
“That’s sweet.”
“Not when it’s more than I’d done for years.” I giggle, and my breath catches when he laces his fingers through mine.
“What’s your favorite movie?” he asks softly.
“My favorite was Holly’s favorite. While You Were Sleeping.
” When there’s no flicker of recognition in his eyes, I nod.
“She takes tickets in the subway, and she’s in love with this guy.
He gets knocked out, and she helps him, telling the hospital she’s his fiancée so she can stay with him.
Well, his family believes the story, and she doesn’t want to hurt their feelings with her lie. ”
“And he wakes up and they fall in love?”
“Nope,” I say proudly, like I wrote the script myself. “She and his brother fall for each other, and then the subway guy wakes up. So she keeps playing along. They almost get married, but she confesses to being in love with the brother. There’s more to it, but it’s really sweet.”
His doubt only makes him more endearing. “I’ll have to watch it sometime.”
With me? “Yeah. It’s good. I probably like it more because Holly loved it.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“What’s your favorite food?” Why am I peppering him with questions? Is it because it’s been two weeks, and I need to know we’re compatible before I give up my home and my career for him? Am I looking for a reason why we won’t work?
“A perfectly seasoned T-bone.”
“Crossroads beef?”
He works his jaw back and forth like he doesn’t want to answer. “It’s been the best I’ve had, yes.”
I cover my triumph with my grin. “It really is good stuff.”
“You love calzones.”
“Only that brand. What’s your favorite—”
“Meredith, what’s this about?” The air grows thick in the room.
“I don’t know.”
Tension ripples over his jaw. “You’re trying to figure out if the two weeks between us is enough to decide to leave.”
“Maybe,” I answer honestly. “The Calder who first walked into Jules Creek scares me a little.”
“Why?”
“Other than being so harsh and handsome that he’d never go for a brewmaster—”
“That’s not true.”
“—he’s also the guy who’d put his brothers first.” I draw in a shaky inhale. I can’t believe I said that. “I’m not sure if that’s what I want in a partner.”
“Shit.” He releases my hand and shoves it through his hair.
Silence lands between us for a couple of minutes.
“My favorite music is country, but I don’t listen to much anymore.
I guess it’s whatever Dad listened to when we worked together.
A little George Strait never gets old. I have a preference of what kind of pen and notepads I use.
I hate that sticky shit. Give me a lined piece of paper with my logo and a ballpoint pen that doesn’t leave ink drops behind.
I have three screens on my desk, and I have one mounted on the wall. It plays nature scenery.”
“You watch nature?”
“I’m sure you’re reading into it, and you’re probably right. I also think you’d hate my place. It’s plain. Gray and black.”
Knowing his preference of pens makes me feel better, but then his assistants probably know that too. They’re the ones who stock them for him. But I don’t need to pick apart the tiny details. We have enough large obstacles between us.
“Not robin’s-egg blue?”
“God no. But it’s boring. And yeah, I will do a lot for my brothers. I don’t want them to think I’ll ever cut them out of my life.”
He didn’t say he wouldn’t prioritize them over me. “But you worry they’ll ditch you as easily as your dad did.”
He sways back. “Damn, rosy. Going for the jugular.” He frowns and scrapes his fingers over his jaw. “No. My brothers and I have more between us than Jules Creek and Crossroads, and it’s been that way for twenty years.”
He may believe that, but he’s wrong. They’ve had nothing but survival and mutual loss in common. Their dad’s death brought them back together. The ranch and the brewery have made them stay longer than they planned. They enjoy being together.
Bowen appears at the doorway, looking so much less severe than when he first arrived. “You two making out again?”
“We can be,” Calder says, planting his hand on the small of my back.
Bowen pretends to shudder and crosses to the picnic table across from us, his back to the top and his long legs sprawling. “Landry’s grabbing a couple of drinks. It’s been ages since we’ve had a beer together.”
“It’s been ages since you’ve had a beer together legally,” Calder says.
Bowen’s casual grin makes him look a lot more approachable. “By the time he turned twenty-one, he was jet-setting across the world.”
Landry enters with a mug of beer in each hand. “Is he jealous of me again?”
He hands off a glass to Bowen, and they both take a long pull, stopping at the same time and wiping the backs of their wrists across their mouths.
I give Calder a sidelong glance to see if he noticed, only to catch him doing the same to me. Giggles erupt. I press my fingers to my lips.
“Care to clue the rest of us in?” Landry rests his glass on his knee. Like Bowen, he’s not as rigid as he was when he first blew into town. This is the most relaxed I’ve seen him. “Or have you always felt outnumbered, and that’s why you recruited the Winslow?”
There’s no heat in his words, but he’s not quite joking.
“I asked her to move in with me.”
Two sets of shocked gazes level on us.
“Shit,” Bowen says, turning his attention to me. “What’d you say?”
“Nothing yet,” Calder answers for me. “It’s a big ask, and she needs time.”
Landry swirls his glass, watching the foam lift and slide down the sides. “And if you move, you likely agree to sell, which you don’t want to do.”
I nod, not trusting my voice. Basically.
Bowen rests his arm on the tabletop behind him. “Saturday’s going to tell us a lot, huh?”
I have a week to hope that three hard, bitter men will open their hearts back up and live again. Likewise, that’s seven days for Calder to show me why I should choose him over everything I know.