Chapter 15
ALEX: You get back home okay?
EMILIA: Yes. Did you?
ALEX: I’m home, but I never want to see or hear another child other than my own again for a very long time. I don’t even know how you do this every day. Teachers should be paid a million dollars a year for this.
EMILIA: Well, I do mostly enjoy it. I would gladly do this job for half a million a year. But thank you for saying that.
ALEX: Do people not say it enough?
EMILIA: Hah! No. People do not. Although, I do get some very nice art projects for Teacher Appreciation Week.
ALEX: Well, every week is Teacher Appreciation Week for me from now on. Although many of the things I appreciate about you cannot be expressed in a macaroni and glitter art project.
EMILIA: You’d be surprised. I’ve received some pretty suggestive art project gifts from boys.
ALEX: Is it weird that I’m a little jealous of the boys who get to be in your class?
EMILIA: Yes. Now stop talking and go sit in the corner by yourself. I want you to think about what a bad boy you’ve been until I say you can leave.
EMILIA: Shit. Pretend I didn’t send that text.
EMILIA: Alex. That was totally inappropriate of me. I apologize. Stop texting me when I’m drinking wine!
EMILIA: Are you there?
ALEX: I’m waiting for you to tell me when I can leave the corner, Miss Stiles.
EMILIA: Okay, but seriously—forget I said that!!! That wasn’t supposed to sound as flirty as it came out.
ALEX: Keep telling yourself that.
EMILIA:
ALEX: You’re a funny woman.
EMILIA: No I’m not.
ALEX: Yeah. You are.
EMILIA: No one has ever told me I’m funny before. Like, ever.
ALEX: Maybe you’re only funny for me.
EMILIA: Maybe I’m only funny TO you.
ALEX: Or both.
EMILIA: Or because of you.
EMILIA: Are you still there?
ALEX: I think you’ll find that I’m always here for you, Emilia.
ALEX: Are you still there?
EMILIA: You can’t keep saying things like that to me.
ALEX: Then stop talking to me.
EMILIA: I’m trying to!!! I just wanted to thank you again. For helping me with the eye thing.
ALEX: You’re welcome. When can I see you again?
EMILIA: Alex… We’re lucky no one saw you touching my hand today.
ALEX: I’m pretty sure you enjoyed that.
EMILIA: That is beside the point!!!
EMILIA: And obviously, yes.
EMILIA: A lot, yes.
EMILIA: But I’m still getting my bearings here at a new school. And the other reasons I gave last month still stand. Plus, I’m not ready to get stabbed in the face by Miss Farrell.
ALEX: I can be surprisingly discreet if necessary.
EMILIA: Alex. I can’t seem to hide how I feel about you. No matter how much I try. And I can’t ask you to wait for me. But I am asking you to wait for a better time.
ALEX: Do you want me to stop texting you?
EMILIA: I like texting you. Can we be friends?
ALEX:
EMILIA: Please?
ALEX: Yes. As long as you’re good with me being the kind of friend who is constantly picturing you naked.
EMILIA: I could use a friend like that around here, to be honest. Franklin is constantly picturing me with different clothes on. I’m just a disappointing Barbie to him.
ALEX: I have to go make Ryder dinner now. Good night, new friend.
EMILIA: Good night, naked friend.
EMILIA: Shit, I meant new friend.
EMILIA: Let’s say we’re pen pals instead.
EMILIA: Good night.
EMILIA: Hey. Ryder seemed uncharacteristically low-key at school today. I hope you don’t mind me asking if he’s okay?
ALEX: Hi. He’s okay. We FaceTimed with his mom last night, but she was kind of unfocused. It was a short call. He’s starting to miss her, that’s all.
EMILIA: I’m sorry to hear that. Poor guy.
ALEX: He’ll be fine.
EMILIA: He’s a remarkably upbeat boy, isn’t he?
ALEX: He is. I hope he stays that way. Has he been behaving himself in class lately?
EMILIA: He has. To a degree.
ALEX: Uh-oh.
EMILIA: It was kind of cute, actually. I had them talk about someone they admire today. He talked about you, of course. He said you’re very good at barbecue. Any kind of meat. He said you say the secret’s in the sauce.
ALEX: All true.
EMILIA: He said you’re teaching him how to barbecue but he’s not allowed to do it himself yet. And that you told him that “real men know how to barbecue.”
ALEX: Also true.
EMILIA: And then he looked right at me and said, “So if you want some real man meat and special sauce then you should come to my dad’s house for dinner. AND dessert.”
ALEX: But also very true.
EMILIA: You are both very skilled at skirting the edge of trouble, Mr. Vega.
ALEX: Don’t fool yourself, Miss Stiles. So are you.
ALEX: But I think Ryder actually wants me to date you. Have you noticed that?
EMILIA: Did he say that?
ALEX: No. But he’s also never invited any woman other than his mother out for gelato with us or to our house for some man meat before.
EMILIA: Well, I don’t know that it was a formal invitation.
ALEX: You’re also very skilled at skirting the issue, Miss Stiles.
EMILIA: I have to grade papers now. I just wanted to check in on Ryder.
ALEX: Roger that.
EMILIA: I’m a little surprised that neither you nor Ryder are here for Math Night at Silver Lake Elementary School. It’s for the whole family, you know?
ALEX: Do people actually show up for that?
EMILIA: None of the fun people do. But don’t tell anyone I said that.
ALEX: Well, I’m about to leave for a dinner meeting with a producer and Ryder’s with my parents. But even if we were available, we wouldn’t be there.
EMILIA: That’s a shame. I’ve always enjoyed games that are defined by clear mathematical parameters.
ALEX: If you’re trying to turn me off by being such a huge nerd, it’s not working.
EMILIA: Do you ever participate in after school events with Ryder?
ALEX: If you want to see me after school, with or without Ryder, just say so.
ALEX: If not, then I’d rather not see you again until I can kiss you again. And again.
EMILIA: Are you dating someone else?
ALEX: I’m not sure what you mean by “someone else” since I’m not dating anyone at the moment.
ALEX: Are you?
EMILIA: No.
ALEX: That’s a shame. You should probably get back to the not-fun people now. Good night.
EMILA: Yeah. Good night.