Chapter 23
Ava
“What if I want to fight for you?”
I rubbed my hands down my face, but that didn’t make his words go away. What did he mean? Why say that, act so sweet, then not kiss me? He had leaned in so close his breath grazed my face, turned my chest into a cage of butterflies, and then he just … didn’t.
Was he teasing me? Testing me?
No, this was better. I was supposed to be in charge, hold boundaries, because no amount of “sorry” could undo the damage or reverse the hours spent in the hospital.
Nina slept in my bed with me, and I had the bruises to prove it.
At three AM, our day started, and crankiness saturated every faded, dated, and stained fiber of our soon-to-be ex-apartment.
A pre-dawn breakfast and a dose of pain medicine later, I stared at the messy living room.
Even with Eli’s help, this would take more than half a day.
And because I’d lied on my application, I had no recourse.
Eli was right. Parents made bad calls, too. How hard would another move be on Nina?
I plopped onto the overly firm couch beside her as she flipped through her Daniel Tiger book.
This day would be an uphill, off-road ride in a Prius.
The weather forecast predicted triple digits by ten.
And poor Nina, stuck in a cast that spanned knuckle to armpit?
The air conditioning in Bill’s house sang like a siren’s call.
No. No more free handouts. No more temporary.
Nina needed stability. I could solve this.
Problem one: I wouldn’t be getting my deposit back.
Assuming I found a place outside of Steven’s influence, I’d have to pull from my down payment fund, which was already at the bare minimum.
Problem two: My credit was still under investigation.
A temporary easement for a background check wouldn’t erase all the new cards opened in my name.
What would a landlord make of that? And with no current pay stub?
Fury funneled through me. Who knew Steven could stoop so low?
I had missed all the warning signs! And they were everywhere!
His refusal to park my broken-down truck in front of his house.
The late daycare fees I had to pay due to overtime at his request. He had quoted HOA rules and accused me of taking long lunches.
But really, his selfish acts only proved he cared more about status than substance.
I’d thought being with someone would feel less lonely, but the busy days only masked how alone I truly was.
Nina closed her book. “Mama? I go to Abi’s house?”
I smoothed a hand down her hair. “I don’t know. But I’m staying home today to make sure you’re feeling better.” I’d chewed my lip raw, fretting the call-out in my first week at a new job. When I pulled out my phone, knowing I couldn’t put it off any longer, I saw a text from Bill.
Bill: Bring your stuff over. We’ll set you up in the spare room. Talk about details later. Bill.
Eli must’ve said something. The boy who rescued strays. If I weren’t so tired, I might’ve resented what that made me. This choice felt like two steps back.
But what other options were there?
At seven, Eli showed up in jeans, a faded green t-shirt, and, of course, his signature baseball cap.
How could everyday clothes seduce their way under my skin so easily?
The casual sway of his gait held no regret or reservation about what didn’t happen last night, so as soon as he started taking things to his truck, I hid in the bedroom.
Me, Nina, and a mountain of wrinkled clothes to fold.
How did he do it? Live out of a suitcase? I bet he had a system. Probably only enough clothing to get by. A single duffle to throw over his shoulder and disappear. Exactly why we weren’t a good fit!
My pile taunted me.
Screw it.
I shoved unfolded shirts and shorts into a suitcase with extra force. “Nina, can you sit on this?” She found my request hilarious and sprawled over the suitcase in a fit of giggles while I forced the zipper closed.
I didn’t finish by noon, but nobody sent for law enforcement.
We staged my belongings in Bill’s den so I could assemble Nina’s bed first. No sooner had I laid all the pieces on the carpet than she wandered in with a request.
“Mama, can we see the horsies?”
I’d vowed to be at her beck and call for the day, so I put down my screwdriver and walked her to the stable.
She marched straight to Misty with her broken arm held high.
“Look at my cast!” The painkillers appeared to be working.
She spun a 180 and waved it at Royal with the same gleeful pride.
“It’s red!” Her little legs carried her down the line to Chuck.
“It’s broken.” She slowed as she reached Sugar’s stall, closer than she’d ever been to the painted before. “But I’m very bwave.”
An unfamiliar truck bumped its way to the stable. Bill, too, on foot. The truck stopped at the end stall, and a stranger hopped out to greet Misty. Bill caught up, carrying a folder, and the two chatted before the stranger took an offered pen and signed a paper form Bill presented to him.
Nina tugged on my shirt. “Who’s dat?”
“I’m guessing Misty’s owner.”
We watched the stranger fix Misty with a lead, swing the trailer open, and guide her inside.
“Mama, why’s he taking her?”
“I don’t know.” They drove off, and a somber energy encompassed the stable.
“Where is she go-ed?”
“Probably to a different stable.”
Bill wandered over, forcing a smile atop his worry lines. He leaned against the rails of the empty stall. Now he had four vacancies. “Got all your stuff moved?”
“Yes. It’s in the den right now, but I’ll work on getting it put away.”
He glanced down at Nina’s cast, and the corners of his mouth made a slow, steady descent like an elevator to the basement level. “What did the doctor say?”
“It’s a fracture and a break. They had to reset the radius.” It was horrible, and I hated every second. I’d have given anything to trade places with her. “They cast the whole thing so she doesn’t stress it.”
“Poor kid.”
“She’s a trooper, though. The nurses all loved her. We have lots of Disney stickers. Lots. Don’t be surprised if she gives you one. Or ten.”
Nina reached her good arm through Chuck’s fence to pet him. He thrusted his head between the rails and rubbed against her in cat-like fashion, but one overly eager nudge sent Nina to her butt.
“Oops!” I jogged over, lifting her back to her feet. “I think he likes you too much.”
“Bad horsie!”
“That’s how they show affection. He’s hugging you.”
“No hugs! I has an owie.” She pointed to her cast. “See?”
But Chuck ignored her, already busy biting down on the gate latch in an escape attempt.
Bill walked over and shoved the horse’s head aside. “Stop that. It’s bad for your teeth.” He waited while I dusted Nina’s bottom, then asked, “Did you get your dinner last night?”
“I did, thank you. It hit the spot. I knew Marley had it in her.”
Bill ran a hand down the roan’s neck and smiled. “Marley didn’t make it. Eli did.”
“Eli?” My obstinate heart fluttered. “Really?”
The new information only seemed to muddy the picture. Like painting a new color before the underlayer had dried. Why did every detail only draw me in more? I was supposed to be mad at him!
Bill studied me. “I wasn’t gonna butt in, ‘cause it’s not my business. But he’s trying. More than I’ve seen him do in a while. Maybe ever.”
“What if I want to fight for you?” His words kept echoing in my head, and each replay left me feeling more foolish. “Well, next time he can try with someone else’s kid.”
Bill pushed Chuck’s head away from the gate latch again. “Hey, I think peanut over there is ready for a nap.”
I glanced past my shoulder in time to catch Nina stagger into the tack room. “I think you’re right. I’d better finish her bed.”
From inside the boarded-up stall came a thump, followed by a high-pitched whine. This is going to be a long day.
“There’s one of those folding pads in the closet under the stairs,” Bill offered.
If anyone deserved a kiss, it was him. “Thank you.”
Bill didn’t say he also had a fuzzy Minnie Mouse blanket and a dog-shaped pillow. This man needed grandchildren.
I rubbed Nina’s head while she drifted off.
She looked so fragile, sprawled on her back, the red cast jutting like a whack-a-mole club.
But she’d handled the emergency room visit better than I had.
I was no stranger to the happenings of life, as Eli insinuated.
Those happenings fueled the fire of my caution.
He didn’t have anyone who relied on him, so how could he understand?
I pried myself off the floor before I too fell asleep, and crept upstairs. Bill sat at the kitchen table with a can of beer.
Beer? This early?
“Is she asleep?” he asked.
“Almost before her head hit the pillow.” I sat across from him, stifling a yawn.
“You should take a nap, too.”
“No. I have too much to do.”
“Then how ‘bout some coffee?” Before I could answer, he rose and crossed to the coffeemaker. “You take milk or sugar?”
“Milk, please.” It felt wrong to be waited on. Wrong to take, take, take. I’d decided I would only stay long enough to collect paystubs and secure a new apartment. This constant moving grated against my nature. No wonder my nerves were in shreds.
Bill’s phone pinged as he added milk to my cup. “Dag nammit, I’m getting old. Ava, I don’t suppose you could do me a favor?”
“Of course.”
He crossed the kitchen and set my coffee in front of me. “I forgot I have a guy coming out. Met him at Walmart. He works at a few ranches in the area. Seems to know a lot about the business side. If Eli’s not back, would you give him a once-over for me? Maybe walk him around the ranch?”
“Sure.” I picked up my cup and inhaled the steam before testing the temperature. “What time is he coming?”
“In about thirty minutes. He doesn’t have to be a perfect fit. I just need someone who will do for now.”
“For now?”
His gaze went far away. I’d seen that million-mile stare before.