Chapter 23 #2
No! The doctor’s appointment. The late notices.
My mug landed with a thunk on the tabletop. Coffee sloshed over the edge. “Bill, are you sick?”
His glasses shot up with his eyebrows. “What? No! No, no, nothing like that.”
I pressed a hand to my racing heart. “Jeez, you scared me.”
“No. Not sick. Though I’m glad to know someone cares.” He retrieved a paper towel and handed it to me before resuming his seat.
“Thanks.” I’m sure Eli cared, but I said nothing. I mopped up my mess, then lifted his beer to wipe the ring from the condensation.
Bill’s eyes went soft as he watched me. “You’re a coaster person, aren’t you?”
“Not usually, but this is a great table. It would be a shame to ruin it.”
Contented crinkles deepened behind his glasses. He slid an aged palm across the wooden surface with a sigh of appreciation. “It is a great table.”
A companionable silence wrapped us both in an afternoon lull. I sipped my coffee, grateful for the mini-break.
“It’s for Eli,” Bill said.
“The table?”
“The ranch. I built it for him. If he wants it.”
“What?”
Dawning washed over me in a slow wave. Facts connected.
Oddities suddenly made sense. Bare walls held space for art, neutrals waited for coordinating area rugs, throw pillows, and decorative plants.
“Oh.” The clutterless house wasn’t a showy centerfold.
It was a blank slate, waiting for someone to make it a home.
I frowned. Eli’s “thing” was open roads and new places. He told me so on the first day we met. I chose my next words carefully. “Does he know that?”
Bill shook his head, curling his fingers around his beer can. “He needs to want it. If I have to tell him, it’s not much of a choice.”
“What do you mean?”
“He always does what he thinks is best for others.” Bill took a heavy sip from his beer. “This was her dream house.”
“Whose?” But I already knew.
“Leah’s.” He cleared his throat. “Eli’s mom.” After a long pause, he added, “Leah died of cancer.”
“I heard. I’m so sorry.” More sorry than three little words could express. I knew the pain of losing both a spouse and a parent.
The corner of his eye twitched–a fleeting moment of emotional surrender he fortified with another gulp of his beer.
“It was hard. Hard for me. Hard for Hannah.” His mouth formed a perfect St. Louis Arch.
“But it was really hard for Eli.” After a beat, he said, “It wasn’t long or painful.
Quite the opposite, really. So quick, none of us had any time to process it. ”
A house full of empty spaces, a kitchen furnished with an overly large kitchen table.
It perfectly explained the hopes and dreams of the man sitting across from me.
I studied his face and knew then I’d never get over Jason or the life we’d planned together.
The family we’d hoped for. But I also knew I’d never be happy sitting at an empty table in a big empty house, missing a ghost. And it was safe to assume, neither would Bill.
My fingers played with the handle of my mug. “You designed a beautiful house. Eli would be lucky to have it.”
“Thank you.” He inhaled, and his shoulders lifted toward a new topic. “So … You know Terry Evanston?”
“I do! Hidden Meadows is the ranch I’m trying to buy.”
“We used to board there, you know.”
“I do. That was actually what made me trust Eli enough to wind up at your ranch.”
Some of the spark returned to Bill’s eyes. “Leah always said no life was worth living without horses. She would’ve put them right in the backyard if she could’ve. But we lived in the city.”
“Did you ever ride?”
“No.” He laughed, but it sounded bittersweet. “I was always working.”
“But you kept her dream alive.”
He stared into his beer can. “Welp, I promised I would when I took her hand.”
My own vow burned a hole in my chest. Promises. So easy to make. Not as easy to keep. But I was trying.
“I, uh,” he scratched his chin. “I worry about Eli. Hannah’s a whirlwind, but if she’s in a bind, she’ll ask for help. Eli? He’s a suffer-in-silence kind. It's hard, never knowing where he stops for the night, wondering if he’s eating well, if he’s lonely.”
It took every ounce of self-control not to tell Bill about the broken ribs.
I’d always thought babyhood had to be the hardest part of parenting because out came a tiny human and boom, you took her home with no training, no manual, and no factory reset, functioning on minimal hygiene and even less sleep.
But one day, Nina would be an adult. Getting left behind sounded so much harder.
“You should tell Eli,” I said.
“That I worry about him?”
“No, that you built him his mom’s house.”
Bill shook his head. “I won’t guilt him into staying. It has to be his choice. Not what he thinks I want.”
“So, you asked him to help you hire a ranch manager, hoping he’d like it here and decide to stick around?”
The older man chuckled. “Guess I’m not as sneaky as I thought.”
I bit my lip, hesitating. “Speaking of sneaky, what’s going on with the ranch? I saw the final notice.”
“Oh.” He settled his elbows on the table. “It needs some reorganization. But I’m waiting to see if Eli wants it before I put in the effort.”
Sympathy flooded my bloodstream. What if it all worked out? For Eli to be close to his mom again through her love of horses. For Bill to have his son back. To fill this darn kitchen table with hungry stomachs and loud conversation. I wanted that for Bill as much as I wanted my own happy ending.
He drained his beer in one final gulp, then slapped his hand on the wooden tabletop. “Welp, now you know why an old poke like me is playing with horses.” The bench scuffed backwards as he stood.
“What will you do if he doesn’t want it?”
A devastating weight fell with his silence. Bill’s eyes skated over the countertops, out the window, then back to me. “What does an old guy like me need all this house for?”
“But you put your heart into this place!”
“Sometimes there’s only so much you can do.”
My head pivoted right to left, defiantly. “You should just ask him. From what I’ve seen, you two make a good team.”
“That is a recent development.” His phone chirped, effectively ending our afternoon break. “That must be our Walmart guy.”
I forced myself up, collecting the empty beverage containers. “I’ll give him a tour and see what he says.”
The faint roar of an engine drew my attention to the front window. One familiar Ford, and a Silverado I didn’t recognize, pulled to a stop in front of the house. A wrapped mattress stuck up in the bed of the Ford.
My gut sank. I hoped that wasn’t for me.
Eli’s voice entered the house ahead of him. “Hey, Dad, there’s a guy out front who says he’s here to see the ranch?” He appeared in the kitchen holding a gray plastic bag, his shirt matted to his chest with sweat.
“I forgot to tell you,” Bill said. “I ran into this guy at the Walmart. He manages some ranches in the area. I asked him to come by.”
Eli dumped the shopping bag on the table. When he glanced at me, I looked away. “You want me to take him around?” he asked.
“Ava said she’d do it. Wasn’t sure when you’d be back. Maybe you can both go?”
We responded at the same time.
“What?”
“Why?”
Bill winked and said, “Because I asked you to.”