Chapter 19
Hazel
Have you ever just... paused, and suddenly everything feels way too real?
Noticed every tiny detail—the people around you, the smells, the way your shirt is sticking to your back, birds doing whatever birds do up there, the trees swaying like they’re gossiping about you—and thought, How on Earth did I even end up here?
That’s how I felt on the couch. Laughter bounced off the walls, voices telling stories, and somehow I was following all of it, mostly.
The ocean air filled my lungs, like it was doing some kind of meditation app exercise.
Even the warm, cashmere blanket draped over me felt like it had been stitched by angels who understood exactly how life should feel.
I closed my eyes, trying to savor it all, and for a moment, I was convinced that if I concentrated hard enough, I could probably hear the furniture breathing.
Oh yeah, I was definitely stoned. Voices blurred together, but my mind fixated on Luke’s.
My thoughts drifted back to yesterday. I refused to get bewitched by his nonsense flirting and meaningless compliments, but his scent kept lingering in my thoughts.
The way he leaned in, his touch on my skin.
I let myself imagine something that would never happen. Something he would never know.
Maybe that’s why it was so easy for him to snap me back to reality this morning. Maybe he had a reason, maybe not, but it was the reality check I needed.
I opened my eyes, head resting against the couch, and looked at him. Every part of me knew he was bad for me, so why did I let his words get to me? Why did they matter when he snapped at me, and why did they matter when he apologized?
“How are you feeling?” Luke’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. I was a horrible smoker. I would need a week or two to finish one joint myself. Two puffs were enough to feel light but not disoriented.
“Very good,” I answered, my smile stretching unnaturally wide. I couldn’t control it.
He smiled back, clearly amused by me. “Excellent. Good is what we strive for.”
Whatever had happened before quietly faded into the background, as though it had never mattered at all.
Right now, all I wanted was to slide closer, to fit myself neatly under his arm like I belonged there.
He was just too damn cute for his own good.
That loose strand of hair falling across his forehead practically begged me to push it back, to let my fingers linger longer than they should.
And God, those dimples. It would be so easy to fall into the trap.
To my surprise, everyone was smoking. An hour after I returned, we all cozied up on the patio couch, devouring Ava’s unbelievably tasty snacks and listening to music.
James Young’s Habits of My Heart filled the air, and I closed my eyes, letting the music seep into my bones.
I swayed my head to the rhythm, mouthing the words I knew by heart.
I opened my eyes and glanced to the left, where Luke had spread out his body like butter, his gaze locked on me. If my self-control were better, I’d have looked away, but I was too dazed. Too happy. Not enough in denial to want him to stop looking, but lacking the willpower to look away myself.
Chatter buzzed around us, yet we were in our own bubble.
I wiggled my toes, and he reached out, lifting my feet and wrapping them in a blanket.
His fingers lingered on my skin longer than necessary.
Too much sensory overload. I closed my eyes again, and somewhere deep in my mind, a nagging thought kept whispering that everyone was still here, a couple of feet away.
They could see. But luckily, everyone was busy being high themselves.
As the second joint made its rounds, Summer jolted us back.
“Hey, we should play Truth or Dare,” she announced, way too enthusiastically, as if she had just invented the game.
“Oh, come on, it’s lame,” Luke said, his arm lazily draped over the couch, shrinking the invisible distance between us. “We already know too much about each other, and dares aren’t the best idea while we’re high.”
“Please. First of all, we have newcomers,” she shot a look at me. “Second, this is exactly when we should do dares.”
Luke glanced at me, silently asking for backup.
I turned to Summer. “We should definitely play.”
“YES!” she cheered. “You’re my kind of girl, Hazelnut. We will be partying more together. Honestly, I start to like you more than some other people here,” she added, shooting an annoyed look at Luke.
“Yeah,” Ethan chuckled. “It’s like when you two are together, Luke gets more grounded, and Hazel gets braver.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good thing,” I laughed. “I can’t even picture a grounded Luke.”
“Don’t mind them, it’s just the weed talking.” Then he turned to Ethan. “I’ll ground you to the floor in a second, you dipshit.”
We burst into laughter as the blunt reached me. I took a small hit.
“Okay, I’ll start,” Summer said, turning to Ethan. “Truth or Dare?”
“Truth.”
“What’s your biggest regret?”
He paused, lost in thought, then gave her the biggest smile.
“Not marrying you sooner.” Summer blushed, tucking herself under his arm.
He kissed her temple, and they melted into their own world.
It was sweet—unlike Logan, who dragged out an “aww” before turning it into a fart sound and a thumbs-down.
“Boring.”
I chuckled. It was the opposite of boring. It was delightful. There was something quietly powerful about seeing love that soft, that easy. No games. Just two people completely at peace with each other.
For the next hour, we delved into a mix of funny dares and wildly inappropriate truths.
There was Summer slapping Alex with a warm tortilla every time he laughed.
Me revealing I say goodbye to my plants every time I leave the house.
Alex eating pesto-orange jam-vinegar burger.
911 was on standby. As a chef, Ava was probably dying inside.
By the time the pizza arrived, we were laughing so hard my cheeks ached, and somewhere between “I dare you to pierce Logan’s ear” and “who was your first kiss, and was it terrible?”—the air between Luke and I shifted. Just a little. Just enough.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” Logan asked nervously, searching my eyes for reassurance.
“Of course, you’re gonna be the cutest lawyer in town,” I said, trying to contain my laughter while tying my hair into a ponytail.
Luke watched me from the corner of his eye, as if trying to figure me out.
I tried to avoid his gaze since apparently I couldn’t be responsible for my body when I looked at him.
I grabbed the vodka bottle Ethan handed me to sterilize Logan’s ear and took a sip.
For courage. This time, I couldn’t avoid his gaze.
Luke watched me, mouth open, amused and shocked.
“It’s like I don’t know you.” I felt the same.
I winked at him, and a laugh tumbled out as he crossed his arms and shook his head in disbelief.
Somehow, his reaction made me feel like the coolest person ever.
“Put this on your earlobe.” I handed Logan the ice, then sterilized the needle with the lighter Luke handed me, which was funny because his touch felt like the flame itself. I tried to ignore it so he wouldn’t burn me. Failing, might I add.
‘God, this is the best vacation I have ever had,’ was the last thing I heard before performing a precise yet painful puncture through Logan’s earlobe.
The chaos slowly settled, turning into laughter. Someone passed chips around, and a speaker played a mellow playlist. With night fully draped over us, the mood slowly shifted. Looser, warmer, more honest. Some truths surprised us more than others. Some were heartbreaking.
“Truth,” Norah said to Ava.
“Reveal a secret about someone here, without saying who.”
“Do you all even know how this game works? It’s supposed to be a truth or dare for the person, not about someone else,” Alex argued. Summer smacked him with the tortilla.
“Chill out, woman. I wasn’t laughing.”
“I didn’t hit you for laughing. I hit you for saying something dumb.”
Alex rolled his eyes and turned to all of us, searching for support, but found none. We were too stoned and entertained.
“Okay, let me think.” A long silence followed, and suddenly the air got heavy. Norah’s face dropped as she looked at Logan. “I’m not sure this counts since it’s my secret, too.” She took a deep breath.
“A couple of months ago, I...” she paused, her lip quivering.
“I had a miscarriage.” A sharp inhale swept through the group.
Logan squeezed her hand as her eyes filled with tears.
“It happened when Logan was out of town. I didn’t tell him at the time and wanted to wait until he got back home.
I couldn’t bear to call any of you, even though I love you all so much.
” A sad, apologetic smile appeared on her face.
“Anyway, later, I went to buy every bottle of wine in the store and ran into one of you.” Everyone glanced around, searching for clues. We all listened in shock to Norah’s confession. “I broke down and cried on the supermarket floor.”
“Norah,” Summer whispered.
“You took me home, took care of me, stayed with me all weekend, watched insanely stupid movies with me, let me cry, and simply were there. I made you promise not to tell anyone because it was just too hard at the time. Later, I found out you canceled everything for me, which caused some problems in your own life. And all for me. Even though you could’ve left after taking me home that night. ”
She avoided eye contact, determined not to reveal who it was.
“I told Logan about the baby, but never mentioned this.” She leaned back, resting her head on Logan’s arm. “We have the best friends, honey.” Logan kissed her forehead as he held her tighter.