Chapter 19 #2
“So, thank you,” she murmured, addressing the unknown friend. Ava moved next to Norah, hugging her. Everyone else joined in. It was such a magical moment, but it was clearly their own. I didn’t want to overstep.
But then, Norah opened her eyes, looked at me, and said, “C’mere.” I dove into the warm embrace of this incandescent, effortless beauty, letting myself belong. All together—stoned and happy.
When we finally let go, some wiped away tears, others sat in quiet admiration.
“Who was it?” Logan asked, his gaze sweeping the circle, sharp and searching, as if he could puzzle it out just by looking hard enough.
“That’s against the rules,” Norah laughed. “It wouldn’t be a secret then.”
Logan groaned, then swiped his misty eyes, but smiling all the same.
Hours passed. The third joint was lit, drifting between us.
Luke exhaled a perfect smoke ring, tilting his head back.
I never liked smokers, but damn, that was sexy.
Electricity ran through the point where his fingers touched mine when passing me the joint.
That damn look. It was almost annoying how much I couldn’t resist it.
His gaze stayed locked on me, drifting to my lips, my neck, my chest. He wasn’t even hiding it anymore.
After I was dared to get a tattoo, but sadly, no parlor was available this late at night, we settled on drawing with a Sharpie.
“Any preferences?” Luke asked with a wicked smile.
“No penis stuff,” I chuckled nervously.
“Oh, Hazel,” he drawled, eyes dark with amusement. “I’m far more sophisticated than that.” He twirled the marker. “Where do you want it?”
Oh, I do indeed want it.
“My ankle,” I said, picking the safest option.
I placed my leg on the couch, keeping my distance.
If I had a foot fetish, I’d be in trouble, but since I didn’t, it was safe enough.
Luke grabbed a pillow, set it in his lap, and I shifted closer, resting my feet on it.
He touched my foot, and I twitched, feeling his warm hand holding me in place.
“Ticklish,” I explained at his questioning look. Sorry, he mouthed, not looking sorry at all. I tried to see what he was drawing, but he blocked the view.
“No peeking,” he smiled.
I’d seen him smile before, but here, surrounded by friends, his grin carried a spark I hadn’t noticed before, as if there was a little more life shining through him than he usually let the world see.
“Hazel, your turn,” Norah called, and I took my chance. I didn’t care about his drunkest night or first kiss, or even women. I wanted to understand how his mind worked. For a moment, I forgot that he could also pick a dare.
“Truth or dare?” I turned to Luke. His fingers hesitated briefly before he continued drawing. He considered his choices, then a slow smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
“Truth,” he replied, and I heard Ohhhhh sounds around me.
“Choose wisely, Hazel,” Logan warned. “You’re up against the ‘nothing but dare’ kind of guy.” I laughed at that.
Everyone started shouting suggestions at me. I caught bits like how many women he’d introduced to his parents, who was behind the prank that left Alex floating down the river on his own mattress, and who snuck a chicken into Ava’s office after her promotion. But I had a question on my mind already.
“How do you know which risk to take?”
His head snapped back, eyes lost in thought before settling on me, confused. “What?”
“In chess. You have thousands of possible moves, and of course, they depend on your opponent. But your strategy is... unconventional. Like, from all the possible moves, you seem to choose the most unlikely one. The riskiest one. So, how do you know the risk is worth taking?”
I could tell from his face that he was completely stunned by my question. Watching Luke play was fascinating, almost like a spectacle. He was clearly more skilled than I was, but his unpredictability intrigued me. I wanted to understand it.
“I think it’s a gut feeling,” he finally said, focusing on my ankle.
“Sometimes, in my head, there are a million reasons not to do something,” he paused, and when his gaze met mine, a cold shiver ran through me.
There was something in that look, something beyond the chess.
As if he wanted me to know him a little better, and to know I wasn’t alone in wanting that.
“...reasons not to do something.” His thumb brushed my ankle, and the lightness of it felt like a question he was trying to ask.
I had this unbearable need for him to move his hand higher.
To choose this risk.
To touch my skin.
I wanted to move closer, letting his palm glide across my thigh. I swallowed, and his mouth dropped to my neck.
“But you ignore them,” he added and dropped his eyes back to my leg, smiling to himself.
“That doesn’t help my game at all,” I joked, but the words lacked the amusement.
“Too bad,” he chuckled, still focused on his drawing.
“Ahh, what a waste of a question,” Alex said, entertained but disappointed at the same time.
“On the contrary,” I muttered almost to myself, but Luke lightly squeezed my ankle and then let go, sighing to himself. As if relaxing. As if it dawned on him that he was exactly where he wanted to be right now.
“All done,” he said after a moment, gently lifting my leg to assess his work.
I leaned in, curious, but the clean, warm scent of him caught me first, making my thoughts stumble.
And then I saw it—a drawing of a girl holding a book to her chest, surrounded by trees and flowers, like in her own garden.
The whole piece felt alive, as if it had been growing there all along.
It was breathtaking. I hadn’t realized he could draw like that.
My mouth opened to tell him so, but nothing came out.
“Luke, it’s gorgeous,” I finally managed to get out. “Thank you,” I whispered, wanting to keep this moment just for us. I traced the drawing lightly with my fingers.
“Seemed fitting, given your insane love for books,” he said, watching me. It was so pretty, I might even turn it into a real tattoo. I quickly snapped a photo, and Luke smiled.
Could I save his smile on my phone, too? Speaking of...
“Hey, let’s take a photo together,” Summer said.
“I’ll take it,” I volunteered and got up.
“Nonsense, I have a tripod,” Ava said, running off.
I hesitated. Should I really be in so many photos of them?
They’re really close as a group, and I’m kind of a third wheel.
Or... eighth wheel. On a seven-wheel car?
I don’t know much about vehicles. Not that I don’t want to be in one, but clearly they’re like a family and have been for quite some time. And I... well, I serve them coffee.
Ava returned with the tripod, and I set it up while they got comfortable on the couch.
“Oh, by the way,” Norah said excitedly, “Logan and I have our wedding anniversary in three weeks. Mark your calendars. We’re having a party. Logan’s mom is making her famous lemon pie.”
“Oh, I love that thing,” Ava chimed in.
“Hazel, you should come too,” Norah added, surprising me. My first instinct was to laugh.
“Oh, please, I don’t even belong here, let alone at your anniversary with your family and friends,” I muttered to myself, but suddenly, the party stopped. I stopped it. Damn it.
Seven confused faces stared at me. Norah and Logan looked like they missed the joke. Luke had a frown on his face that was more than confusion. He looked... bothered.
“I’m just kidding,” I said quickly, adjusting the tripod. “Let’s take the photo.”
“No, you’re not,” Norah asked, suddenly standing in front of me. “Why would you say that?”
I let out a nervous laugh, unsure of what to say.
It was ridiculous. An embarrassing confession I wished I could take back.
These were Luke’s friends, not mine. I didn’t truly belong here.
This trip was just a pity vacation disguised as a favor, and deep down, I had always known it. But the silence dragged on.
“Look, guys...” I hesitated, trying to escape the moment, but the truth clawed its way out. I dropped my gaze, unable to meet their eyes. “I just don’t think I’m supposed to be here.”
“Hazel,” Luke’s voice cut through the tension. Smooth as silk and as pitiful as I expected. “Why do you think that?” A hint of frustration slipped into his voice, betraying him. Usually, he hid his emotions so much better. But so did I.
Everyone stared, waiting for an answer. Guilt tightened in my chest. It was the weed that made me do these silly confessions. I shouldn’t have smoked so much.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m beyond grateful to be here. You’re all incredible, easily the funniest, coolest group I’ve ever met, but...” I trailed off, feeling utterly out of place.
“A part of me feels like an impostor. What you have is rare. You’re like family.
I’m happy to help however I can, but the truth is, I’m not part of this family, so setting a boundary feels right.
Because,” I let out a small laugh, “you don’t want a strange girl in your photos from ten years ago who used to bring you coffee.
” I wasn’t being self-deprecating, just realistic.
Keeping my emotions in check. Avoiding false expectations.
Then, before I could stop myself, I blurted out, “You’re all so nice to me, I can’t even handle it gracefully.” A sting burned in the corner of my eyes, and I covered them, ashamed of my stupid feelings.
“Hazel.” A soft voice approached, followed by two hands on my shoulders.
“Nobody expects you to earn your place here,” Norah said.
“We’re all happy you’re with us, and we love your company.
It’s as you just said—a rare thing we all have.
We all know that. It doesn’t mean there’s no room for more. For others.”
I glanced around, feeling exposed under everyone’s gaze. “I’m so sorry.” I said it to everyone, but my eyes stayed on Luke. I wasn’t even sure at this point if I was apologizing for my outburst or my feelings. Norah pulled me into a hug, and I let out a nervous laugh.
“Yeah, Hazel, don’t stress. You’re cool. Actually, you help balance the group,” Alex slurred, tripping over every other syllable. I shook my head, cheeks burning. Balance the group? I could barely balance myself right now.
“Oh, riiiight,” Luke suddenly said, dragging the word out with exaggerated clarity. “I totally forgot to mention this.” Then, locking eyes with me, he grinned wickedly. “Hazel is completely and uncontrollably uncomfortable with compliments.”
Heat rushed to my face, but I rolled my eyes, even as my pulse tried to pound its way out of my chest. Luke opened his mouth again, placing a hand over his chest as if taking an oath, and I just knew he was about to start a ridiculous chain of embarrassing statements. I was right.
“Hazel, you—”
“Stop it!” I stepped in front of him, pointing a warning finger. He just laughed and yanked me down onto the couch beside him.
“Let’s take the photo,” Norah called, setting the timer before rushing over.
Luke shifted closer, his hand finding mine.
The second his fingers brushed against my skin, I instinctively squeezed back, eyes shutting as warmth flooded through my whole body.
Our hands, folded together, were tucked between us, hidden from view, but I felt his touch more than I’d felt Norah’s whole weight against me seconds ago.
A whisper brushed my ear. “I told you, Hazel. You deserve them all.”
His words wrapped around me, filling me with something light, something whole. And when Luke’s strong hands pulled me into his embrace, I heard a quiet confession—in the softest of voices, in the deepest corners of my mind.
His hands were where I longed to find myself for most of the nights anyway.