Chapter 36
Ivy
“Did you think either of those would work for you? Now that you’ve walked the spaces?” Cleo asked her.
Ivy walked by her side, their hands linked as always. She took her time to think before replying to Cleo.
“Honestly? I’m just not sure either of them is right.
I mean, they’re great spaces, plenty of square footage, the layout is close to what would be needed so not much work would need done to sync with the others.
I’m not quite sold on either.” Ivy dropped Cleo’s hand and slid an arm around her back instead, Cleo lifted her arm and wrapped it around Ivy’s shoulder and pulled her to her side.
“I’m sorry, I know you had to pull strings to get these viewings arranged. ”
Cleo leaned over and kissed Ivy’s temple.
“Don’t worry about it, honestly. You need to see the space in person to know whether it’s for you or not.
You can’t get the feel for it from a web listing.
I always tell my clients to view more than once before buying, so at least they know the bones are what they want to work with.
If you knew after the first viewing that they’re not right, it just means that’s two fewer places to consider going forward. ”
“Thank you for being so understanding, I just didn’t want to have wasted your time,” Ivy said, her fingers balling the side of Cleo’s coat in her grip.
Cleo stopped and reached her other hand up to turn Ivy’s face to hers, leaning in to kiss her she added, “any time spent with you, I’d never consider a waste.” Ivy melted, then melted some more as their lips met.
When the kiss ended, Ivy felt more relaxed than she had all afternoon. “Do you want to go anywhere first, or will we head back to mine and start making dinner?”
“It’s up to you, beautiful, how long will dinner take to make and how hungry are you?” Cleo checked.
The very loud groan that chose that moment to rumble from her belly caused Ivy to blush. “Yeah, maybe I’m a little peckish?” she said with a blush. A second louder groan made itself known.
“I think you’re a little more than peckish, let’s get you in the car and we’ll just head straight to yours,” Cleo laughed.
Cleo unlocked her black SUV and opened the door for Ivy. She had never thought she’d be the type of girl who liked that kind of thing. Turns out, she did. A lot.
“So chivalrous, thank you,” Ivy beamed at Cleo as she closed the door once Ivy was inside, before walking round to the driver’s side and getting in herself.
“You’re more than welcome,” Cleo said as she smiled at Ivy with such warmth, Ivy felt it emanate through her entire body.
Twenty minutes later, Ivy unlocked the door to her apartment and led them inside.
She had spent the entire morning tidying and cleaning after she remembered how spotless Cleo’s house had been when she’d been there last weekend.
They both took off their coats and shoes, and Ivy took Cleo’s hand as she led the way to her kitchen.
“I know I’m cooking dinner, but you have a choice: would you prefer chicken and pasta in a creamy white wine sauce, or chicken and noodles with stir fry veggies and a lime soy sauce?
” Ivy took in the impressed look on Cleo’s face and couldn’t help but feel the pride in her chest at being able to impress this incredible woman.
“Wow, I think tonight the stir fry would be faster for the monster that’s taken up residence in your belly,” Cleo laughed as she leaned in to kiss Ivy briefly before asking, “What do you need me to do?”
“Wash hands, then can you get the sauce started while I get the chicken cooking? The recipe is in the book beside the knife block,” Ivy said.
“On it,” Cleo kissed her again before heading to the sink.
They made quick work of making the meal, and in fifteen minutes they were sitting down on the couch with large steaming hot bowls of food.
“This dish smells amazing,” Cleo said, softly inhaling the mixture of sweet and tangy scents before taking a mouthful, “and it tastes even better.”
Ivy blushed and smiled. “I’m glad you like it.”
They ate in silence for most of their meal, both relenting to their need for food after a long afternoon of viewing properties. As they neared the bottom of their bowls, Ivy noticed they were both distracted, and she figured that Cleo must have noticed too.
“I—,”Ivy started.
“I—,” Cleo started, at the same time.
They both laughed nervously, before Cleo gently encouraged, “You first.”
Ivy sat her bowl on the coffee table in front of the couch, and Cleo held her gaze as she did the same.
She cleared her throat and dropped her gaze to her hands which lay clenched together in her lap. Cleo reached out and pressed her fingers apart so that she could hold one of her hands between her own.
“I know we’ve spoken about pretty much everything over the past month…
” Ivy’s voice was suddenly wavering. “But, before we take this further, I feel like I should tell you about the one thing I’ve made a conscious effort to avoid talking about.
” She swallowed, loudly, as her heart pounded in her ears.
“Growing up, my parents had great expectations of me and my brother. We went to the best schools, we participated in the “right” extracurriculars, we were always on our best behavior because it was the only way we were noticed and accepted, and it was the only way we got what we considered to be their love.” Ivy felt the squeeze of Cleo’s hand, encouraging her to continue.
“When I was in college, and started working for Lucas, my family were less than impressed. You see, my family has incredibly high standards, and they viewed working in the service industry as below me. They were horrified when they discovered that I not only had a job, but that I served people.” Ivy glanced up at Cleo, whose face was calm and reassuring, and she felt Cleo’s thumb gently rub back and forth over the back of her hand.
The soothing motion allowing Ivy the courage to continue.
“After the first few months in college, I knew that it wasn’t for me.
They had insisted that I study business and marketing as a double major, just like my parents, and just like my brother. ”
Ivy took a breath, bracing herself for the emotions which were already starting to work their way into her throat to come out. She had spent the past decade pushing them down, burying them deep within her and refusing to let them out. Until Cleo came along.
“One weekend, I finally broke. Midterms were coming up, while I’d never been on any official dates, I knew without a doubt that I was gay.
I just hadn’t felt the need to come out to my parents.
” She paused and took a drink from her glass of water on the coffee table and glanced at Cleo as she sat it back down and noticed her simply nod gently at Ivy to continue when she was ready.
“I took a trip home, deciding to tell them how unhappy I was at college, I wasn’t planning to come out to them yet, but things don’t always happen as planned.
” Ivy let out a flat huff of laughter. “We were all sitting at the dining table, my parents were asking my brother and I how we were getting on with our studies and work. My brother is a few years older than me. He was always top of his class with near perfect marks in every exam and he got a non-entry-level job straight out of college. I couldn’t take the pressure of trying to live up to him anymore.
When I told them that I wanted to leave school and go into business with Lucas, well, I knew they were going to be mad, but I’d never expected what happened next.
They accused me of following my boyfriend and being a fool for giving up the opportunities that had been handed to me my entire life.
I snapped. I told them that if the opportunities they were offering came with such a tight leash, then I didn’t want any of them.
I then stood up from the table and with such anger and hurt that I never knew had been inside me, informed them that Lucas was not my boyfriend because I was only romantically interested in women.
” Ivy let out a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding as Cleo reached out and wiped a tear that had tumbled down her cheek. Ivy leaned into her gentle touch.
“My parents lost it then. All the while my brother just sat there, watching it all play out. Smirking through the whole thing, like he was somehow happy about what was happening to me. I don’t remember all of what they said, my brain shut down under the onslaught of anger and shouting, but the one part I still remember is when they said no daughter of theirs would be a college dropout, nor would she be so disgusting as to lay with anyone other than a man.
Unless I sorted myself out and fell in line, then I couldn’t possibly be their daughter.
” At that admission of the statement she hadn’t let herself think of or speak since that night, she finally let her tears fall.
Cleo’s arms wrapped around her before she realized she’d let go.
She sobbed, time slipping away until she couldn’t tell if it had been minutes or hours.
All she knew was that, for the first time in years, her heart felt safe.
Finally, when the tears subsided, Ivy pulled back from their embrace and laced their fingers together again as she sat up to look Cleo in the eyes.
“That was what caused me to shut down for the past decade and not let anyone get close. That was why I never went on dates, because I didn’t want to have to go through this every time someone got close enough that I may have felt like I should tell them.
So, I shut that part of my life down completely and only had the occasional one-night stand just to feel something, to make sure I wasn’t completely numb to the world.
They had made me feel like the love I wanted, and needed, was somehow wrong.
That my being a drop-out made me a failure.
That without those things I wasn’t worthy of their love.
” Ivy sighed before continuing. "But then you came along, and for the first time ever, I knew that I wanted more. Then I got to know you, and I knew you were the one person that I felt like I needed to open up to.”
Cleo let go of Ivy’s hands and reached up, softly cupping Ivy’s face in her hands.
She leaned forward and kissed Ivy in such a way that meant the world.
It was a kiss full of support, and understanding, and there was something more there that Ivy dare not even hope for.
When they pulled apart, Cleo’s hands remained on her face, and Ivy’s hands were wrapped around each of Cleo’s wrists, holding her there.
“I can’t imagine what kind of pressure you felt growing up, or what struggles you endured after being disowned from your family simply by wanting to be happy with your life.
But the beautiful woman I thank my lucky stars for every day carries none of the cruelty she had to endure at far too young an age.
You’re incredible Ivy, thank you for trusting me enough to open what couldn’t have been an easy wound. ”
Ivy’s eyes filled with tears again, but this time they were ones of relief and more notably, happiness.