Chapter 37
Cleo
Cleo had been prepared for tonight to be tough emotionally, and she planned on opening up to Ivy. She hadn’t counted on Ivy letting her into her own heart first. Or with such a heartbreaking story of her past.
It was then that any doubt she had earlier completely disappeared. Ivy had shown her a level of trust Cleo had dreamed of having for so long that she knew tonight had to be the night she opened up to Ivy, too.
She leaned forward and kissed the woman in front of her who looked like the weight of the world had just been lifted from her shoulders. She just hoped she wasn’t about to replace it with her own.
Cleo took a breath and whispered, “I was married.”
She was barely aware of Ivy taking in a sharp breath over the sound of her own heart pumping loudly in her ears.
“Her name was Lauren. We met in my first year of college. She was a year ahead of me. I was drawn to her confidence, and the way she commanded the attention of any room she walked into was just… enthralling. We moved in together after less than a year. Sharing an apartment was a new experience for me, but it was everything I wanted when I was nineteen and in love for the first time. We both ended up working in the same firm, and shortly after my first year of working there, just when I turned twenty-six, we got married. The wedding was bigger than I wanted, louder than I wanted, but I’d have done anything to make her happy, including letting her have whatever she wanted.
Which turned out to include my best friend, Megan.
” Cleo paused as she heard Ivy whisper a soft oh no.
“We were married for two years when I caught them in bed together.”
Cleo’s eyes filled with tears, but she clenched her jaw tight and blinked furiously, not wanting to let a single tear fall. She had shed more than enough of them over her past already. It didn’t deserve to have a single additional tear drop because of it.
“In the end, the divorce happened without any issues. Lauren didn’t fight me on a single thing, and left me our old house which I sold to move into this one.
She didn’t look for anything from our joint account.
She completely disappeared, and I’ve not seen or heard from her in six years.
The office got harder to be in after that.
The walls have eyes and ears there, and the gossips were unbearable.
That’s why I left and set-up my own business.
” Cleo sniffed back the tears as they tried to escape her eyelids.
“It was Megan who caused the real hurt. We had been best friends since we were kids. She grew up not far from my parent’s house, so we spent almost every day together.
I went with her family on trips sometimes.
Our families spent weekends together in the summer, hanging out in the garden until it got dark then we’d head inside until well after midnight.
She studied science and ended up going into teaching.
She thrives working with kids, and she makes them fall in love with science too.
After it happened, she was relentless. For three months I got calls and texts every day, desperate for a chance to explain. ”
Cleo reached for her drink and Ivy rubbed her thumb across the back of her Cleo’s hand.
The small gesture providing just enough courage for to continue.
“In the end, I blocked her number. It was too hard to keep reliving it. She then reached out through her parents and mine, tried to get Jade and Evan to get me to talk to her. It wasn’t that they were on her side, but they made the decision to listen to her because she was their friend too.
I didn’t want to. I couldn’t.” A tear escaped and slowly trailed a line down her cheek.
She wiped it away quickly as she looked at Ivy.
“She took a job with a company that has her travelling between different schools in a few different cities, doing science projects with the kids, like summer camp. So, I haven’t seen her in years, but she’s back,” Cleo laughed sadly, “she’s teaching Soph at the moment.
” Ivy made a face of does Sophie know, and Cleo shook her head gently.
“Neither of them know who the other is. Sophie loves science, it’s her favorite thing in the world.
It’s just hard to hear her rave about this amazing new project teacher she has, knowing that same person shattered my world into pieces over a single night of stupidity. ”
Cleo took a deep breath and let it go, repeating it a few times until she was ready to speak again.
“Remember when I said that the last first date I had been on, was so long ago, that ours practically counted as my first? That was because it has been sixteen years since my first date with Lauren. I haven’t been on a date since the divorce.
Anytime I looked at another woman the only thought in my head was, can I trust her?
Will she hurt me too? I couldn’t even bring myself to handle it well when a woman flirted with me.
I’d just apologize and walk away. I wasn’t myself for a long time after.
Then a human ray of sunshine crashed into me when I tried to go into her coffee shop one day, and it was like a fog disappeared.
Suddenly, a weight was lifted from my chest, and I didn’t even know her yet. ”
Ivy blushed as her smile beamed while Cleo continued.
“You asked me on our second date, before dragging me down a creepy side street if I trusted you. I told you I was getting there. Trust isn’t an easy thing for me to give, and now you know it's because the two people I trusted most in my world at the time didn’t just break it, they shattered it beyond repair.
I feel like you’ve shown me it’s ok to trust again.
That maybe, someday,” Cleo took a deep breath as she looked at the warmth in Ivy’s eyes as she said, “you could be the one I trust with my heart again.”
Ivy leaned forward and softly kissed Cleo, before resting their foreheads together as she gently spoke.
“You may not have known the pain I went through losing my family the way I did, but Cleo, nobody should lose as much as you lost, the way that you did. It doesn’t surprise me that you protected yourself from the world for so long.
What does surprise me, is your ability to keep going after it all.
” Ivy sat back and held Cleo’s gaze as she continued.
“You stayed at the office for months after it happened, enduring horrible reminders at work and home every day, yet you kept going. You’re amazing.
Please hear me when I say, that if one day you choose to trust me with your heart, I will keep it safe in my chest as you’ll be taking care of mine at the same time. ” Ivy smiled.
Cleo noticed a blush creep up Ivy’s neck as she seemed to be steeling herself to say something else but paused.
“What’s turning those wheels of yours?” Cleo said raising her eyebrows.
Ivy closed her eyes for a minute and blew out a slow breath. “I have a confession to make that I hope will reassure you that I’d keep your heart safe, but I don’t want you to freak out on me over it either, ok?”
Curiously, Cleo agreed and urged Ivy to continue.
“On our first date, after I put my foot in my mouth about seeing you in your power suits every day, you asked me just how many times I had noticed you. When I told you it was a few times, I wasn’t exactly telling the whole truth.” Ivy lifted a hand to her face to try and calm the blush.
“Oh?” Cleo asked, an amused tone playing in her voice.
“I first noticed you about three years ago.” Cleo’s breath caught as Ivy continued.
“You stopped at the window one morning to answer a video call and your whole face lit up with such warmth and love, I figure now that it must have been Sophie on the other end of the call. It was that look that caught my eye, not just your fiery hair which you know I can’t get enough of.
” Ivy laughed as she reached out and curled a loose wave around her finger.
“And that was the moment that I decided I wanted more in my life than sporadic one-night stands. I wanted someone to look at me the way you looked at whoever was on the other side of the phone.” Ivy dropped her hand from Cleo’s hair and gently held Cleo's hands in hers. “Every day I was working I’d see you either walking to or from work, and I’d think about that look on your face.
At first it was a reminder of why I’d stopped shutting out the world, but over time I began to wonder not just about it coming from anyone, but what it would feel like to be on the receiving end of you having that look. ”
Cleo couldn’t help herself, she knew exactly the look Ivy meant, because it was apparently already on her face. As soon as Ivy looked up, her eyes opened wide and a smile full of such warmth and wonder spread across her entire face as she breathed in a ragged breath and whispered, “That one.”
Ivy lifted a hand and tangled her fingers in the hair at the back of Cleo’s neck, pulling her in for a kiss neither of them would soon forget, or ever wanted to end.
Eventually, Ivy pulled back just enough to whisper, “Stay the night. I just want to fall asleep holding you.”
Cleo’s heart swelled in her chest so much she thought it might burst as she replied, “I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”