Chapter 7
Cody
Lunch at my parents’ after church is a regular thing, but now Karissa’s here too, sitting beside me at the long oak table.
It’s only been a week since I brought her into all this, introduced her to my family. But somehow it feels longer.
Jesse’s across from me, bouncing Cora gently on his leg between bites of his food.
She’s five months old now, I think, but sitting up at the table like she runs the place, eyeing up every bite he takes.
Ella’s next to them, spooning a little of the applesauce into Cora’s mouth and still somehow managing to feed herself with her other hand.
“You know, I have the high chair from when you guys were all little. I’ll have to pull it from storage for next week,” Mom says.
Ella shakes her head. “It’s really fine. She’s not eating much yet anyway.”
“She managed to swallow some though, I think.” Jesse laughs. “That’s progress.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t have gone with the applesauce,” Ella says under her breath, then smiles at Cora anyway. “You’re just a mess,” she says playfully.
Karissa turns to Addison and Wesley. “How long have you guys been together?”
“Since New Year’s!” Addison replies, smiling big and proud.
“Oh, so…newish. That’s fun!”
“Officially,” I chime in. “You want the truth…they’d been dating since first grade.”
Karissa’s eyes go wide and she looks at me, like I just revealed a deep family secret.
Addison’s dinner roll hits my chest and falls into my lap. “Nuh-uh.”
“Hey,” Mom calls from the other end of the table.
“I wish.” Wesley laughs, giving Addison a nudge against her shoulder. She gives him a smile that I’ve only ever seen her wear around Wesley. They definitely love each other. There’s no doubt about that.
“Wait, I don’t get it,” Karissa says, her eyes flicking between the two of them and then to me.
“It took Wesley that long to grow a pair is all,” I explain.
Wesley laughs along with everyone else. Except Mom; she gives me the cocked head and squinted eye.
“Oh, he knows I’m just yanking his chain,” I tell her.
“Well,” Karissa speaks up, “I’m sure you didn’t wanna ruin the friendship.”
“Exactly! See? Someone gets it,” Addison says, glaring at me.
“Not even a kiss? Like, just a peck?” I ask, pushing just enough to stir the pot.
Addison goes red instantly. “No!”
“Nope.” Wesley shakes his head. “Just worried about ruining the friendship and, you know, there were some other obstacles in the way.” Wesley laughs again, lifting his hand onto the back of Addison’s chair and looking over at her.
Addison bats her lashes at him. “Sorry, I’m just that clueless,” she murmurs, like that’s some kind of inside joke.
The conversation shifts into something else for a little while. I watch Karissa eat; she seems to be enjoying this. My family, the jokes, the teasing, listening to stories.
Mason leans back, just far enough to look in our direction. “You ever watch The Dukes of Hazzard, Karissa?”
She pauses midbite and shakes her head. “No.”
Everyone turns, silverware freezing midair. Addison gasps. Even Ella stares at her like she committed a crime.
“I’m sorry,” she says quickly, laughing.
“Girl,” Addison says. “You’re in for a treat.”
“She is,” I say, nudging her knee under the table with mine. “We’ll watch it after we eat.”
“Okay, what’s it about?” she asks, and the table erupts, everyone speaking at once, trying to explain the main premise of the show in their own ways.
* * *
As we clean up the table, Karissa’s phone buzzes from her pocket. One glance at the screen and her whole body tenses.
She excuses herself quickly, barely looking at anyone, and slides out of the room like she doesn’t want to draw attention, but I notice. So does Mason. His movements slow, eyes tracking her through the kitchen.
Jesse glances to me. “Everything alright?”
I shrug. “Don’t know.”
I hear the front door open and close softly. That’s when Mom walks back in with a washcloth to wipe the table down, her brows drawn together.
“She okay?” she asks me.
I stand straighter. “I don’t know. She didn’t say anything.”
“She looked flustered,” Mom says, worry in her voice.
That’s all I need.
I put one foot in front of the other and I’m following her without another word. I don’t even stop to grab my boots.
Outside, Karissa’s pacing the length of the porch barefoot, phone pressed to her ear. She isn’t saying anything, just listening, her free hand crossed over her chest and tucked under her other arm.
I make sure not to let the screen door slam when I step out, leaning quietly against the post.
Eventually, her eyes meet mine. She’s pale. Shaken. My heart beats a little quicker and blood rushes through my entire body at once.
“Who is it? Him?” I whisper.
She nods with a stiff tilt of her head.
I push off the pole and reach out my hand, palm up, but she steps back.
“Don’t call me again,” she says into the phone, voice hard and low. “Or I’ll do what I said I would.” And she hangs up.
I watch her chest heaving as she stares down at the phone. Her hands are shaking. I let her calm down a second before speaking.
“I would’ve given him a piece of my mind if you wanted,” I tell her.
“I know.” She crosses her arms and takes in a deep breath.
“What’d he say?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing. Just…wanting to talk,” she utters, then slips past me back into the house.
I don’t stop her. But I don’t move either. I’m not scared. But she is, and I hate that.
* * *
I don’t know what time it is. I’m out cold, but I hear her voice fill my room.
“Cody,” she whispers.
“Hmm?” I hum into my pillow.
“Um…” She walks closer, and her voice is cautious when she continues. “Do you think anyone has graham crackers?”
I sit up, blinking hard. She’s a silhouette in my doorway, her hair messy and her hands rubbing her belly. I glance at the clock. 10:48 p.m. I only fell asleep an hour ago.
“Graham crackers?” I rub my face, trying to come alive. Is she for real?
“Like, the honey ones. Or regular, but honey would be amazing.”
“Did you check my cabinet?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, well, then I don’t. I can text and ask someone?”
“I’d love you forever,” she jokes.
I grab my phone and send a text I never imagined myself typing, but here we are.
Me: Someone tell me they have graham crackers in their pantry.
Addison: S’mores this late?
Me: No, Karissa’s latest craving.
Jesse: Oh, I remember that phase. We still have about 5 jars of cake frosting if that interests her.
Ella: Way to rat me out, Jess.
Jesse: Why aren’t you working?
Ella: I’m pumping in a triage room.
Mason: Well, I’m trying to sleep, in case anyone cares…
Me: I just need graham crackers.
Mom: I don’t have graham crackers, but you could spread a thin layer of honey on another cracker?
Dad: Cody, don’t be a lazy ass, go get her some.
Me: 45 minutes to Minot and then back? The craving will be gone by then.
Ella: I can get them on my way home. I work until 6 though.
Me: Would owe you one.
Mason: Alright, perfect, it’s settled, now everyone go to bed.
One by one, they all send “good night” texts just to tick off Mason, and I finally toss my phone back on the side table.
“Ella will get you some on her way home, but Mom said to spread honey on a cracker,” I tell Karissa. Her eyes light up, like that’s the best idea anyone’s ever had. She hurries to the kitchen and I get up to go see what she thinks of that concoction.
I stay at the doorway, leaning against the frame.
She spreads honey on a saltine cracker. She looks like her mouth is practically watering as she lifts it to her lips.
One little laugh escapes when she sees me, then she follows it with the first bite, eyebrows shooting up like she just discovered gold.
“Now that is good,” she says, reaching for another. “Better than a graham cracker.”
I laugh under my breath and pull my phone back out to cancel with Ella. Sure enough, Mason’s got something grumpy to say when everyone chimes in. I don’t even respond this time, just smile and shut the screen off.
“Alright, have fun with all that. Night,” I say, turning back toward my room.
“You know…” she calls out. I pause and glance over my shoulder.
She’s licking honey off her thumb and snapping the lid shut on the bottle.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“My ex…he never entertained a craving,” she says, and I swallow.
“Well…your ex was, and still is, a—” I stop the curse on the tip of my tongue. “A…jerk, so can’t say that I’m surprised.”
She huffs a quick laugh. “It was just frustrating because he was the one who thought a baby wouldn’t be a big deal.”
“You didn’t want one?”
She shakes her head. “Eventually, sure. But not yet. I thought we should save up more first. Stop renting, buy our own house, you know?”
“Yeah. Would’ve been more logical. But…it happened. And you’re doing a good job dealing, given the circumstances.”
She looks down at herself, hand resting on her belly, and exhales. “It was stupid,” she murmurs. “There was alcohol involved. We weren’t even…thinking clearly. And the next morning, he didn’t even remember.”
I swallow, jaw tightening. My eyes linger on her for a second longer before she speaks again.
“Trust me,” I say quietly. “I know more than you think about that.”
She looks up at me, confused, maybe even a little curious, but I don’t say anything else. I don’t want to talk about it. So I just nod once and turn back toward my room again.
And this time, she lets me go.