Chapter 6
Karissa
Jesse just dropped me back off at Cody’s cabin. I said I could walk but he wouldn’t let me. Maureen was waiting on the porch with a casserole and a container of cookies. Said she had a sweet tooth with all her pregnancies, and I can’t help but agree.
“Cody told me you were looking at apartments in town?” she asks, setting the food on the counter.
“Yeah. They’re just…expensive,” I say, adjusting my shirt. “But I know I have to get out of everyone’s hair.”
She gives me a soft smile. “Unfortunately, we will need that cabin come September. But do you see how God put you here in the timeframe when we aren’t using it, come just next week? He’s got a plan.”
“I didn’t think about it that way.”
She hums and pulls out a dining room chair. “Do you mind showing me some of the places? I thought maybe we could crunch some numbers, if you’re okay with that?”
“Oh, yeah. Sure.”
I open my laptop and sit beside her at the table. She smells good, motherly…is that a scent?
I pull up the listings I’d been eyeing, and as I scroll and click through, she talks me through the monthly costs—rent, groceries, utilities, baby stuff, gas, insurance, my car, and me, of course.
Somewhere between the second and third place, the numbers start to blur. My chest tightens, and my eyes burn. I’m due in less than two months. Even if I worked every day until then, it wouldn’t be enough. And then what? Government assistance? Maybe. But even that isn’t going to stretch far.
Tears start to spill before I can stop them.
“Deep breath,” Maureen says softly, her hand moving in slow, soothing circles across my back.
I try, but it’s shaky. “I’m sorry,” I whisper, embarrassed as tears fall. “I just, I never thought I’d be in this situation. These numbers…I mean, I’m already behind and the baby isn’t even here yet.”
After a quiet moment she speaks, her voice still calm and steady. “You know, Leonard and I weren’t married long when we found out we were expecting Jesse. We were nineteen, didn’t have much savings. We stayed here with his parents.”
I blink, surprised. “Nineteen?”
She nods. “That’s what you did then. Got married young, had a bunch of babies.” She laughs.
“Geez,” I mutter. I can’t imagine getting married and then having a baby that young. I’m nearing thirty and feel like I’m too young to be doing this.
“We were scared too; he was a surprise. We were going to build a house first. But his parents…they were good to us. And back then, Dakota Flight started growing quicker than anyone expected. But it was very successful. We got to build our house when Jesse was a toddler, Cody a few months old. It started out as just a two-bedroom. We had done it that way, knowing we’d want to expand in the future but just couldn’t at the time.
I look toward the window, in the direction where I know the main house sits, though you can’t see it from here.
“You raised four kids in a two-bedroom?”
“Yup,” she says with a nod. “The boys had the upstairs, back when it was just a loft. When I found out Addison was on the way, we finally decided to finish everything. Added the dining room, built the master bathroom upstairs, and put up walls so the boys could share one room and Addison could have a nursery.”
“Wow.”
“It all ended up working out.” She smiles.
It’s crazy how everything can look so built-up and put together from the outside. But in reality, this family started right here from almost nothing. In a small cabin with fear of the unknown, and a baby on the way.
Just like me.
“God always showed up. Even when we didn’t have it all figured out…we still made a good life.”
Tears pool again, but they’re softer now. Less panic. More relief.
“I just want to do it right,” I say.
“You are,” Maureen says, giving my hand a squeeze. “All you have to do is show up and love that baby as much as you can. And lean on the people who love you, family or not. That’s what we did. That’s what you’re doing.”
Maureen reaches for the laptop again.
“Let’s keep looking at places. Not because you have to leave right away, but because I want you to feel prepared and confident about what’s next. And we’ll help you get there. You’ve got a whole family behind you now.”
I don’t even try to stop the tears this time. She’s so calm, and it rubs off on me so much that I actually start to believe I’ll be okay.
Cody’s diesel truck pulls up and the front door creaks open only seconds after the engine cuts.
I wipe my tears away quickly, just before he steps inside.
A backwards baseball cap is pulled over his dark hair, and he’s wearing a white suit-type thing, mud on the pants of it. He looks like an astronaut.
“Hey.” His eyes are on me, and his tone dips lower. “What’s wrong?”
I try to laugh off the awkwardness as I swipe quickly at my cheeks.
“Nothing,” I lie, hoping the redness burning across my face doesn’t give me away.
“Just talking about life,” Maureen says with a light laugh, rubbing my shoulder. “And how sometimes it sucks.”
He slips out of his boots then drags out the chair beside me and sits. He glances at his mom first before me.
It’s not just a glance, though. It’s one of those heavy, lingering stares that feels like he’s reading my thoughts.
“I’ll let you two talk. Your dad’s waiting on dinner yet.” Maureen stands, squeezing my shoulder again as she passes.
“Thanks for the food,” I tell her just before she slips out the door.
Cody looks back to me the second it clicks shut.
“What’d she say?” he asks softly.
I take a deep breath, but it’s shaky. “She just brought dinner and was helping me look at apartments and numbers and things. Reality hit kind of hard, I guess.”
He doesn’t speak right away, just swallows, his throat bobbing slightly.
Then his hand finds my leg under the table. Slow. Hesitant. Like he’s not sure if he’s allowed to. It’s warm and calming in the way I needed.
I wipe the corner of my eye before looking back at him. “I just feel like I’m crumbling.”
“You’re not. You’ve got me, you’ve got all of us.” He doesn’t pull away. Just sits with me in the silence, giving me a second to breathe. Then he clears his throat. “I know you said you weren’t overly religious, but when stuff gets heavy like this, it helps to pray.”
Well, that isn’t even close to what I was expecting to come out of his mouth. I feel my skin getting itchy and my heart beats faster.
“I don’t know how to pray,” I admit quietly.
“There’s not really a right way. It’s not supposed to be a fancy speech. You just talk to God, like you would a friend.”
I just nod.
“You want me to pray with you?”
My body stills, and I swallow the lump forming in my throat.
“Not tonight.”
“Okay.” His hand leaves my leg. “That offer’s always open. No pressure. Just…if you ever want someone to sit and do that, I will.”
My eyes sting again, but it’s not out of sadness or fear, it’s this overwhelming peace. He leans against the back of the chair.
“And you’re more than welcome to come to church on Sunday with me and my family.”
I look down at my belly. “Won’t that look bad?”
“Doesn’t matter how it looks.” He shrugs.
“It’s been a long time. I don’t really feel like I belong there.”
His eyes soften, and he smirks. “Jesus didn’t spend time with the people who had it all together,” he says, “He sat with the ones who didn’t think they belonged. That’s kind of the whole point.”
He gives me a gentle nudge with his elbow, and I can’t help but smirk back.
“Okay,” I say quietly. “Yeah…I’ll come.”
“Good.” He stands and walks over to the counter.
“Now”—he lifts the lid off the casserole dish—“what did my mom bring us?”
* * *
What are the odds that the first time I step back into a church in years…they’re doing communion.
I saw the tables as soon as I followed Cody through the sanctuary doors—two on each side, white tablecloths draped neatly over them, silver trays on top holding little cups of grape juice and tiny squares of bread.
I’m smack in the middle of the pew, pressed between Cody and Addison. Good thing I’m not having twins—we’d have to split into two pews just to fit.
They sing a few songs, then the pastor steps up to speak. His voice is calm, steady, the kind that draws you in without trying too hard.
He asks everyone to turn to…Corinthians or Chronicles, I don’t remember.
What I do notice is how the entire Jennings family moves in perfect sync, like they’ve done this a hundred times.
Addison pulls a floral-covered Bible from her bag. Wesley’s is already resting on his leg, one arm draped over Addison’s shoulder while he uses the other hand to flip the pages.
Cody picks his up; it looks like it’s been through war. The leather is worn, the edges frayed.
Jesse and Ella sit just down the row, juggling Cora and a Bible between them. Ella distracts Cora with a stuffed Elmo toy while Jesse turns to the right page.
I look further to Maureen and Leonard. It’s no surprise that they’re already on their pages and waiting patiently for the pastor to speak.
I feel like the odd one out, but then Mason, still in uniform from coming straight off a shift, reaches for one of the church Bibles and passes it my way.
I take it, feeling the weight of it in my hands…not just the book, but the moment.
Like I don’t have to feel like the odd one out.