Chapter 27
Cody
The sun’s just up, and it’s a quiet, still morning. I pull up to Addison’s cabin. I see she’s the only one here so far. I know Mason’s working today, Jesse’s probably still dropping Cora at Mom’s, and then he’ll be over too.
I step inside and find Addie standing in the middle of what’ll be her bedroom, tape measure stretched out and a pencil slid behind her ear.
She glances over her shoulder. “Morning.”
“Hey.”
She squints at me. “What’s wrong?”
I blink. “What?”
“You look like you didn’t sleep.”
I shrug. “I’m good.”
It’s a lie. I couldn’t sleep a wink last night, too busy replaying that kiss.
The way her breath caught right before. And then how it ended, abrupt, like we’d both remembered too late that there was a line we weren’t supposed to cross.
We didn’t talk about it. I just mumbled something dumb about needing to get home, as if the dogs would have suffered had I stayed another few minutes to actually… say something.
She arches a brow. “Were you up helping with Emma?”
I shake my head. “No.”
Addison crosses her arms and gives me a look.
“But you took her to dinner last night.”
“Yeah. And?”
“And what happened?”
“Nothing,” I lie again.
“You kissed her,” she says bluntly, and I stare at her, my heart stopping.
Her eyes go wide. “Knew it! Oh my gosh!”
I blow out a breath, looking away as a laugh slips out. “It wasn’t my plan.”
“It never is!” she fires back, grinning like she just caught me red-handed.
I don’t even know what to say to that—not that it matters. Addison could stand here and have an entire conversation with herself and never notice I’m not talking.
“So are you guys gonna date? Or like—”
“No. No no no.”
“Why?!”
I shake my head, heart hammering in my chest. “I’m not the right guy. I’m too busy with work, I can’t.”
Addison’s quiet.
I keep going, because apparently I can’t shut up now. “You have no idea what went on with Bree and me, and maybe one day I’ll tell you the truth, but right now, just trust me when I say that I think Karissa’s better off.”
“How can you even say that?!” she snaps, anger in her voice.
“What do you mean?”
“Cody, you haven’t left that girl’s side. You practically became a stepdad overnight. Don’t stand here and lie to me—and yourself—that you don’t have huge feelings for her.”
I clench my jaw, staring at the floor like it might tell me what to say.
“Don’t be like me,” she says, voice softer now. “Wesley was standing right in front of me my whole life and I never saw it. You guys all said it too, and I denied it. Don’t be like me.”
My body’s still stiff. I nod once, just enough for her to know I heard her. But not enough to promise anything.
Karissa’s moving next month, just forty-five minutes away. Far enough for her to figure things out without me hovering, close enough that I can still be there if she needs me. She’s got to want that independence. I know I would.
“She’s moving into Missy’s,” I tell Addie. “I’ll still be around, but I need to give her space.”
Addie doesn’t look satisfied.
“Well, then at least do her a favor and make sure she knows where you stand,” she says, voice tight…emotional even.
* * *
I showed up to talk. That was the whole point. To clear the air. Set things straight after that kiss. Tell her I didn’t mean to muddy the waters, that I care, but I’m not in a place to mess something up again.
But when I walk in and see her in the living room, rocking Emma in her arms, face flushed and crying, a switch flips.
“Karissa?”
She doesn’t say anything at first, just keeps rocking. Her hand’s shaking when she wipes her face. Emma’s not asleep, just sucking on a pacifier staring up at her.
“Can I do something?”
“I’m fine,” she insists.
“You’re clearly not.”
She shakes her head. “I only got three hours of sleep last night, and today she wouldn’t sleep unless she was in my arms. I want to take a shower, this shirt is covered in spit-up, and I feel disgusting.”
I cross the room with my hands out to take Emma. The transition is smooth; Karissa’s quick to get her out of her hands.
“Go. And take your time,” I tell her. She sniffles, tears still very present, and walks to her room.
I look down at Emma. Big brown eyes meet mine, clueless about what’s going on. She looks tired, so I sit back where Karissa was and rock her.
She spits the binky out, and the corner of her mouth lifts in the faintest little smile. My chest tightens, warmth swirling in a way I didn’t expect. I haven’t seen her smile yet.
“Hi, sweetheart,” I murmur, grinning down at her.
She smiles a little more, and I can’t help but mirror it, completely undone by the tiny expression.
“Your mom needs you to sleep,” I say gently, my voice catching. “Think you could do that for her?” She grins wider, like she understands, but I know she doesn’t. “Yeah? Please? So she doesn’t lose her mind?”
I laugh under my breath, but the sound is shaky. I didn’t think talking to a baby, one that isn’t even mine, would hit me like this. But it does.
After another minute of rocking with no luck, I put her in the swing. She doesn’t fuss so I leave her there and walk to the kitchen and start cleaning up.
My mind gets distracted, remembering why I came over in the first place. The kiss. I can still feel it on my lips when I think about it.
The bedroom door opens and I turn to see Karissa step out in a black pajama set, the same one she wore in the hospital. A green towel is up on her head, and her face is red in some spots, like she either just got done crying really hard or took a scalding hot shower. Maybe both.
“Feel better?” I ask, and she nods, glancing to Emma in the swing, who’s now asleep and unbothered.
“You don’t have to do my dishes, Cody.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know. You came to talk was my guess,” she says, standing off just a few feet from me, crossing her arms loosely.
I turn the sink off and turn fully toward her. I lean against the counter and dry my hands on the towel. “I did. But I want to make sure you’re okay first. Maybe it’s not a good night if you’re tired and on edge.”
“I’m not on edge,” she snaps.
I tilt my head at her. “Karissa.”
Her crossed arms tighten and she looks down.
“It’s okay…it doesn’t make you a bad mom. You’re human and you’re doing something that was never meant to be done alone.”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Cody, or I’ll just cry more,” she says, then she’s quiet for a beat. “You came to talk about the kiss, so let’s talk about it.” She looks back at me.
I stifle a nervous laugh, trying my hardest not to shy away from her gaze. “Yeah.” I sigh. “You know, come August, when you move out of here, and then come September, it’s hunting season, and I’ll be swamped with work…I’m not going to be able to help you.”
She looks down and nods. “Yeah. I know.”
“It’s always been a rule between Jesse and me—no dating during hunting season.
We both followed it for a while, then Ella came along and…
that sorta flew out the window.” I laugh, and she laughs too, so I keep going.
“I saw how hard it was for him to balance, so I’m not trying to come at it in a selfish way, but it’s just—”
“It’s your job. I get it.”
I stop, not expecting her to understand so quickly.
“I hate to keep bringing her up, but Bree…we fought like hell during that time, and I think that’s why she ended up cheating on me,” I admit.
Karissa’s eyebrows pull together. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”
“I guess I’m just scared of ruining another relationship.”
“You didn’t ruin that relationship, she did.”
“Well, I feel like I did because—”
“No, you didn’t,” she snaps again. “She chose to cheat and then you were lied to. That’s not on you.”
I look away from her. I don’t want to argue about it. I’m not going to change my mind on this. I wholeheartedly believe that if I’d have been better, been there for her, attentive, she wouldn’t have been looking for “love” elsewhere.
“Cody,” she says, and I look up. “It’s not your fault,” she whispers, stepping closer. “Don’t let her be the reason you don’t give me a chance.”
I swallow hard, caught off guard by her boldness. It makes my stomach twist. Not because I don’t want her, but because I’m scared. Scared of failing, not being enough for her, for Emma. They deserve consistency.
And I don’t think Karissa would cheat, she’s not like that, but walk away? Give up? I don’t know. It would be too late by the time I’d find out.
“I’m just, I’m too scared that I wouldn’t be enough.”
“But you’ve already been more than enough,” she whispers.
I shake my head. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”
The truth hurts deep in my chest; it’s heavy, uncomfortable, unbearable. My eyes sting as I try and blink back tears.
She just nods, understanding, and steps closer. This time she doesn’t hesitate. Her arms wrap around me fully, like she’s holding on for both of us. I hug her back, tighter than I mean to, breathing her in. I don’t know if we’ve ever hugged like this. Not just in passing, not casual, real.
I let her go before my own tears break free, and we both swipe at our faces with our sleeves. Neither of us speaks.
The silence is heavy, but it’s not empty. I want to kiss her again so badly I can taste it. But I don’t. Because if I do, it’ll only make the ache worse.