Chapter 26
The release the orgasm gave me and the control I managed to display during it help me go into the training session with a new sense of confidence, though when Stefan asks where I think we should start, I find myself suggesting that he teach me how to create the wolf sculpture Linnea made.
‘I guess there’s little chance of you causing too much damage with something like that,’ he replies.
It turns out he’s right. I have enough magic in me to freeze a river but can’t make a simple child’s toy.
‘You just need to visualise it fully in your mind,’ he repeats for what must be the fourth time as I produce yet another chunk of ice that bears absolutely zero resemblance to a dire wolf. Or any animal at all.
Stefan sighs and crouches beside the latest disaster. ‘Forget visualising the wolf for a moment.’ With a flick of his fingers, ice rises from the ground between us. Not much. Just a lump the size of a loaf of bread. ‘You keep approaching this backward. You’re trying to create a wolf.’
‘Isn’t that the point?’ I huff.
‘No.’ His hand sweeps towards the misshapen block sitting in the snow. ‘You can grow ice. You’ve proven that dozens of times over, with spears, and flurries, and basic shields. Creation is not your problem. Control is.’
The ice between us begins to move. Slowly the lump stretches, narrows, and reshapes itself beneath his control.
‘What is ice?’ he asks.
I wonder for a beat if it’s a trick question. ‘Uh, frozen water.’
‘Right. You’re not creating an ice sculpture.
You’re not carving it. This isn’t a step-by-step process like whittling wood.
The trick is knowing what the ice should become.
Visualise it not as ice being shaped but as water flowing.
Let the ice flow into the shape of a wolf, like water into a mould that then cools and hardens. ’
He gestures, and a wolf emerges from the ice block. It’s not perfect, but it’s recognisable. Clearly, ice animals aren’t his forte. Not that I can throw stones, given nothing is my forte.
‘You aren’t sculpting a wolf. You’re creating one.
Moulding one. And if you can shape a wolf, you can shape anything.
Use your breath,’ he continues. ‘Use it to centre yourself and connect with the well of magic within you. Ice and water are abundant all around us, on the ground and in the air, and we have ice in our very veins, Princess. You must feel it when the magic surges? The cold that rises?’
I nod, almost spellbound by his words. I wish he’d explained it all to me like this on the day of my arrival.
‘You need to tap into that and connect with the water all around us, condensing and crystallising it into exactly what you imagine.’ His fingers tap the sculpture’s head, and the wolf collapses and reforms into a thick slab. ‘A wall.’
He gestures again, and the slab curves into a crescent. ‘A shield.’
The crescent lengthens into an arch. ‘A bridge.’
His voice darkens. ‘A prison.’ Ice bars shoot upward from the arch.
Stefan lets his hands fall, and as the ice melts back into the snow on the ground, gone as if it were never there, I gape in wonder at him.
‘The shape changes. The skill doesn’t. Master this, and you’ll be one step closer to being a true Issen.’
Something finally clicks, and for the first time all morning, I think I understand what he’s trying to teach me.
I spend the next hour trying to put into action the principles he’s taught me. Unfortunately, understanding and actually doing it prove to be two very different things.
My wolf looks more like a diseased sheep.
The bird resembles a pile of riverweed with wings.
And the shield I attempt collapses sideways and nearly crushes my foot.
But I created all of those things. I created them from the water around me, removing the heat from them and giving them shape. Excitement is still coursing through me when Stefan calls it a day.
‘You need to attempt the Veil again this afternoon. Only three more tries to match our record.’
‘Why doesn’t it surprise me that you’re a man who likes to finish things quickly, Stefan?’ I bite back, then enjoy the surprise that registers on his face at my quip.
‘Why doesn’t it surprise me that Magnus’s granddaughter can’t see the urgency in the situation? The need to move before it’s too late. You know my offer still stands. You and me. Ruling this place together. This place and beyond.’
‘Why don’t you suggest that when we’re close enough for him to hear?
’ I say, gesturing towards Kyor, who is lounging against Elska in the distance.
She and Fen arrived shortly after us. ‘You want his land and his woman? You should tell him. See what happens.’ Stefan’s lip curls up in a snarl, but this time he remains silent. ‘Right. I didn’t think so.’
Kyor and I ride the wolves back to the city.
While I’m happy to abide Magnus’s desire for us to be chaperoned most of the time, I don’t need to endure Stefan and his less-than-subtle digs and suggestions all the way back.
Besides, riding is quicker, and hopefully that means I’ll get more time to try to rid myself of the last two doors.
Considering how much expansive white there is, the view should be dull.
Mundane. Yet it’s anything but. The way the mountains jut out of the sky beyond Isthyr gives a sense of being closer to the Gods than I’ve ever found in any temple.
And the fragments of blue sky constantly unfold then retreat behind the cloud cover, casting thousands of ever-changing images that could hold my attention from dawn until dusk.
‘The one thing I miss is birdsong,’ I tell Kyor as Fen’s muscles ripple under me. ‘I wish there were birds here.’
‘That’s it? That’s all you miss?’
I barely have to think about the question. ‘Obviously, that’s not all I miss. I miss the warmth and the food, and Kay—’
‘Kay knows you have to be here, Thorn. She knows that, and she knows you’d be there if you could.’
‘Maybe,’ I respond.
Maybe I’d have believed him at some point, but the Kay I left in Wrohelm, the one who would have married Artur to keep her position at court, is as much of a mystery to me as these Issen people I find myself living among.
Who knows what she thinks of me leaving her in her hour of need?
Then again, maybe with Jonas at her side, she doesn’t need me. No matter how much the irresponsibility of their marriage angered me, there’s no doubt that their relationship has started turning into something real. My visions have shown me that.
Silence takes hold for the rest of the journey, and when we arrive at our destination, I’m surprised by the sight of Magnus outside the library.
‘Rose.’ Magnus smiles formally. ‘I am glad I have caught you. I’m afraid I won’t be able to take you to the Veil today. I have to prepare for some trades we have in the near future.’
Disappointment rises, hot and sharp. ‘You can’t take me to the Veil?’ My focus sticks to the first part of his comment. ‘But I need to go. I need to go today. I have to use every opportunity there is to complete it.’
‘Yes, you do,’ he agrees. ‘But you don’t need me to take you. You know your way, do you not?’
‘Yes, but…’
‘But?’ he questions, and I’m not sure what to say. That I want my grandfather to come with me?
‘The dagger,’ I say instead. ‘I can’t take it in with me.’
Magnus frowns. ‘No, but I’m sure you can leave your wolf to guard it?’
It’s a perfectly good point. And it’s not like I have it strapped to me the entire time.
When I’m awake, yes, but I’ve taken to sleeping with it on the bedside table – in reach but not attached to my body.
It’s probably safer with Fen than it is there.
Then again, I sleep with Kyor next to me, so maybe not.
‘Right. Of course,’ I say.
Surprised by the tightness in my throat, I turn to Kyor. ‘What about you?’
‘Actually, I was going to go in search of Uzra. I have some questions for him about his visit here with my father. Perhaps Magnus could get one of the other chaperones to take me to him?’
‘Gladly,’ Magnus replies.
Fen and I leave them, and as we cross over the river, light glints on the riverweed as it bends with the flow of the water just beneath the surface. Guilt churns in my stomach. I could have ruined the harvest and sent the Issen people into starvation. I can hardly bear to think of it.
The sight of the shimmering green sends an unexpected urge through me, and I dismount Fen.
Reaching out with my Morathkian magic, I pull at the source of the Issen sustenance. Slowly, it doubles in size, and I stop there. It would take very little to grow it further still, but I’m unaware of what else lives in these rivers, and the last thing I want to do is disrupt the ecosystem.
Feeling more confident than I have in days, I momentarily contemplate trying to build my own bridge.
After all, Magnus said the Issen do it to feel a bond to the Gods, a closeness before they’ve even stepped over the rushing water, and I know for sure that Oel and I have a bond of some sort.
But given how my ice magic has gone recently, I dismiss the idea and use the same one I’ve always taken with Magnus.
When we reach the mouth of the cave, I place the dagger by Fen’s feet and disappear into the cave where the Veil crackles.
This time I don’t give myself space to bask in the ethereality of the shimmering flames. The moment I reach the bottom of the cave, I simply close my eyes and step through the Veil. It’s easier this time, knowing the heat won’t burn me.
As expected, two doors stand before me, but I have the advantage of knowing what I’m going to see behind one of them. And so, my mind focused on what lesson I have to learn, I step through it.
Once more, I watch my mother chew her bottom lip as Dinah informs her that she must wake me, but this time I remain calm, knowing what comes next.