Chapter 26 #2
The sight of my childhood bedroom, freshly painted with flowers and vines cascading down the walls, is enough to make my throat sting, but I don’t allow myself to dwell on the emotions that rise. A lesson to learn. That’s what I have to do here.
‘Rose, darling,’ she says.
My youthful eyes blink momentarily at her. ‘Mother?’ I say. ‘What is it? Is something wrong?’
‘No, no, my child.’ Her smile is shallow. Nervous. ‘Nothing is wrong. I want you to come with me.’
‘You do? Why?’
‘The queen is in labour, Rose,’ she says. ‘We must go to her now.’
I sit up, jaw slack. ‘The queen is to have her baby? And you wish me to come too?’
‘Yes.’
Excitement floods my young face, my feet light as they hit the ground, my expression unable to hide the glee that shines from it.
‘Truly?’ I hear my younger self say. ‘Truly?’
‘Yes. But you must stay quiet. You can watch and stay by my side, but you must not say anything, you understand?’
‘Yes! Yes!’
I’d forgotten how excited I felt to be going to the birth, to help my mother with the queen’s labour and see the arrival of a new prince or princess.
I feel sick as I watch my younger self, eyes gleaming. I thought it would be a day of joy, not a day that ruined my life.
My mother waits while I dress, but as she stands there, my father appears in the doorway.
A baby is on his hip. Florian. My heart squeezes, not just at the sight of my little brother, but also of my father.
Until this moment, I hadn’t realised how much William looks like him.
The father from my later memories had grown so gaunt, his skin pitted from drink, eyes clouded with pain.
But now, I can see that my grown little brother is a mirror image of the man he never got to know.
A thick lump forms in my throat at the sight.
I will tell him. I will rid my body of the poison causing me pain every day and return to William to tell him what I’ve seen.
‘Reeva, where are you going?’ Gods, I’d forgotten the timbre of my father’s voice. My heart aches that I could ever have forgotten the cadence of his words.
‘The queen, she is in labour.’
‘Then surely you must go? Why is Rose getting dressed?’
‘I am taking her with me.’
‘Really?’ He moves my brother to the other side as he begins to fuss.
‘She is to be a healer – a great one – and what better first labour to attend than the queen’s?’ my mother replies as she slips shoes onto my feet.
‘Of course. Yes, you’re right. She’s going to be the greatest healer in the entire kingdom.’
‘The entire world!’ young me replies modestly, eliciting a deep laugh from my father.
The sound of it slays me.
‘Sorry, silly me. Yes, of course.’ He walks forward and plants a kiss on the top of my head. ‘Be good, Rosebud. Learn everything you can, but don’t do anything unless your mother tells you to.’
‘I won’t. Promise.’
A lump pushes further up, forcing tears into my eyes. Rosebud. I’d forgotten he called me that. This might have even been the last time he did so.
Now dressed, my mother offers me her hand before moving towards the door.
When she reaches my father, she lifts a hand and places it on his chest. ‘I love you, my darling,’ she says before moving to Florian.
‘Be good for your father, little one. We will see you upon our return. And don’t forget to check on Acacia,’ she adds to my father.
Tears fill my eyes, blurring my vision. A single blink is all it takes for the walls to dissolve into nothing.
Using the back of my hand, I wipe my cheeks, sniffing away the remaining tears. I am once again standing in front of two doors, meaning one thing: I still need to work out what I was meant to learn from the third door’s vision.
Yet in my heart I already know the answer because it’s the same as it was before. Dinah asked for me to be present at the queen’s labour. She said it was the way it had to be.
But why? Because, as my father said, my presence at such an event would likely elevate my status as a healer?
Or something different? Perhaps Dinah knew Kyor would be present and she hoped to foster a bond between us?
Either way, it’s hard to see – to accept – that Dinah has been influencing my family for years and pulling strings from the shadows. But to what purpose?
My chest tightens.
This is Dinah.
The woman who stayed with Kay and me through thick and thin, giving us food and hope when I thought all was lost. The woman who hugged me so tightly that I sometimes thought she might never let go.
A grandmother in every way that mattered.
Yet the more I learn, the more I wonder how much of our lives belonged to us and how much belonged to whatever plan she’s been weaving all these years.
Dinah has her own agenda, and she’s been using my family to fulfil it. The thought feels like a crack spreading through something I had always believed was unbreakable.
And just like that, the door dissolves.
Only one is left, and I’m almost certain I know what awaits behind it.
I reach out to grasp the handle, but fear grips my belly before I can touch it.
The excitement young me felt behind the last door is about to fade and be replaced by a terror that will haunt my dreams and waking hours for years to come.
I stare at the door as my hand hovers over the handle, every instinct screaming at me to turn around.