Chapter 32 #2
‘Don’t.’ One word is all I can manage. I’m trembling so violently I half expect the library ceiling to cave in around us.
Apparently, Kyor’s lessons on control worked after all, though fuck knows I’d rather be testing my restraint through multiple orgasms than stopping myself from suffocating my friend out of pure fury.
Benny’s face pales. ‘You spoke to Ruben,’ he says.
‘Tell me there are some sound-warded rooms in this library,’ I say to him.
‘Yes, there are. I’ll find one for us now,’ he replies.
‘Of all the fucking stupid things, Benaris!’ I shout.
Ruben saw us head to a sound-warded room and joined us, clearly worried what might happen if I was left alone with the earl.
‘Kyor nearly killed you for this barely a moon ago,’ I rage. ‘Have you so easily forgotten?’
‘Of course I’ve not forgotten,’ Benny bites back as he rubs at the back of his neck.
‘Then why?’
‘Why do you think?’ the earl snaps. ‘I’m grateful for Kyor not killing me – don’t get me wrong, I am very, very, very grateful for that – but it doesn’t change the fact that Korvane’s still got the Eastern Isles under his thumb, and I need to change that.
I hoped that Kyor … but he…’ He shakes his head.
‘Listen, I’m sorry, but if getting rid of Korvane means siding with your grandfather’s adversaries, then that’s what I have to do. ’
‘I’m not angry because you’re going against my grandfather.
Or – fucking hell! – even because it’ll get you killed by Kyor.
It’s bigger than that. Can’t you see that?
These people – the Issen and the Morathkians who live here – I’m their princess.
’ And even if I fail to survive the Veil, this becomes William’s birthright or Kay’s.
He’s not just betraying Kyor and Magnus; he’s betraying me.
‘I know that, Rose.’ He sounds weary.
‘Then you understand my position. For good or ill, these are my people. Obviously, I didn’t grow up with them, grow up with the duty of ruling like you did the Eastern Isles.
I don’t know my people like you do yours, but I’m their princess.
That’s the truth. I’m theirs, and I can’t have this happening under my nose.
My friend is knowingly trying to destroy their way of life.
If the expansionists have their way, so many more will die, Benny.
So many!’ I take a shuddering breath and meet his eyes, imploring him to understand my point of view.
‘My family, Ben. There’s a chance for them here.
A chance for William to grow up safe. But not if you help Ranveeg tear apart everything that’s good about this place before he even has a chance to see it. ’
Benny’s hand is back rubbing his neck as his eyes flicker to Ruben, as though he’s hoping his paramour might come to his defence, but Ruben’s eyes are cast down.
‘Nothing’s decided,’ Benny says eventually. ‘I’m just exploring options, that’s all.’
‘Options? That you spoke to them at all is enough to make my skin crawl, but that you didn’t even bother telling me what you learned? Telling Kyor?’
Benny chokes out a disbelieving laugh. ‘Rose, do you think I can trust Kyor with this? “Hey, buddy, now that we’ve just got over me accidentally paying for the killing of your mentor, how do you feel about me siding with your people’s sworn enemies to try to take your father down?
” Fucking hell, Rose, do you think that conversation’s going to go well? ’
Of course it won’t. I bite down on the inside of my cheek hard enough to draw blood.
‘Exactly,’ Benny says grimly. ‘And you can’t throw stones. If you’re so certain you know how Kyor will react, so certain he won’t go running to his father, then why haven’t you told him about William?’
My back teeth grind together as my magic pulses in my veins, but whether by luck or skill, I manage to hold it in.
‘No, you don’t get to do that,’ I hiss. ‘You don’t get to pull William into this.’
‘You brought him up first!’ he fires back before taking a breath and holding his hands up.
‘Look, I’m not trying to do anything here, Rose, other than make you see that we’re in a tough situation.
The Issen might be your people, but let’s be honest, it’s Kay and William first for you.
It’s always been them first. And if there was more than one way of keeping William safe – if you didn’t have to put all your metaphorical eggs into this stupid Veil basket – surely you’d be looking into joining the expansionists, right?
You can’t tell me you wouldn’t. That’s all I’m doing here.
Just looking and talking. Nothing more. Not yet.
I’m sorry, Rose. Truly. And I really, really hope I don’t have to make a decision that hurts you.
But like you, I’ve got to put my people first. And there are still things Kyor’s lying about and not telling us.
I know there are. I’ve seen the evasion. ’
‘That’s because he can’t,’ I snap back. ‘Because his father made him take a blood vow!’
‘What?’ Benny’s eyes widen and his attention shifts to Ruben, who shakes his head, indicating he knows nothing about my sudden disclosure. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I mean exactly that, Benny. He wants to be on the right side of things. He wants to do good, but he can’t tell us everything because he’s got these stupid fucking vows on him. And I’ve been looking in the library, trying to find out how to break them, but I haven’t come up with anything.’
‘I didn’t know,’ Benny says quietly.
‘Well, now you do. So you need to cut this crap with Ranveeg and Stefan, you understand that? Oh, and if you want another reason why you shouldn’t trust those snakes – other than the fact that they are trying to ruin the perfectly good way of life that people have here – then you should probably know that Ranveeg has tried to kill me three times already. ’
Benny’s face turns the colour of sour milk. ‘What? Why didn’t you say anything?’
Do I feel guilty about only having circumstantial evidence against Ranveeg? No, not in the slightest.
‘Because it didn’t matter. Not really.’ I let out a sigh so heavy my entire chest drops. ‘Benny, with everything that’s going on, we have to be able to trust the members of this group, and that means trusting Kyor too.’
He pulls in a breath and presses his lips tightly together. ‘But how can you do that when you know he’s hiding things from you?’
‘Because I’m hiding something too,’ I remind him. But maybe it’s time to change that.