Chapter 33 #3
‘What if one of the parties doesn’t agree?’ I press. ‘What if one of them wants the secret to remain, the vow to stay in place? What then?’
This time Magnus’s sigh is far heavier. ‘In such a situation, there is nothing that can be done. Vows rarely work if people have been forced into them. Whoever took it must have done so willingly. The only way they can break it, without all parties agreeing, is through death.’
‘Death?’ The word chokes out of my lungs.
That’s it then. Kyor can’t tell me the truth until Korvane is dead. Regret fills me. That secret will have to remain a wedge between us.
‘I’m sorry,’ Magnus says. ‘I know that is not the news you wanted to hear.’
‘It’s not,’ I admit. And it’s not the news Kyor is going to want to hear either. He’s already shown that there’s no amount of pain or suffering he won’t go through for the greater good. For me. But the death of his father…
‘There is no way?’ I press. ‘No loophole?’
‘I am afraid not. As long as both their hearts are still beating, then they are held by that vow they made.’
So that’s it then. That’s the answer I never wanted to hear. It could be years before I ever know what secrets Kyor holds from me. And there’s also a possibility that he will take them to his grave.
When I see Kyor in our room that evening, I consider keeping the information about the vows from him.
His smile is broader than I remember seeing it for days, if not longer.
The time spent with Uzra and his men have clearly settled him somehow, and I can’t help but wonder how that is shifting his mindset about matters. About his father.
Besides, there are good things I could tell him about the day.
Sure, the Veil was a disaster – as was training – and Benny is going behind our backs to conspire with both our enemies, but I did manage to grow yet more riverweed, and judging by the manner in which the harvesters were laughing with joy at their overflowing baskets, they were more than a little appreciative of the unexpected ‘miracle’.
But it’s the thoughts of Benny that make me want to address the truth. If secrets must be kept between Kyor and me, I don’t want them to be of my creation. Not if I can help it.
‘How was the Veil today?’ he asks me. ‘Any closer?’
‘About as close as I am to mastering my training sessions.’
He grimaces. He’s been there for every single one of them and knows what an uphill struggle I’m currently facing.
I can manage snowflakes with ease now, brewing small flurries in my hands, but when I try to make them bigger, I either lose the flurry completely or it blusters into a blizzard so thick I could get lost in it.
I can also mould the ice to some degree, into shields a toddler could kick over and swords that consistently break on impact.
Still, I tell myself it’s progress. I have some modicum of control over my ice powers, no matter how small. I’m improving, and that’s all that matters.
And I’ve been practising chilling glasses of water, turning it slowly to ice – as opposed to my new unconscious habit of freezing water glasses when my mind wanders in the library. Should the kingdom ever find itself at war with lukewarm water, I stand ready.
‘I spoke to Magnus about breaking vows,’ I say quietly. ‘About whether there’s any way it can be done.’
Kyor’s eyes light up as he spins around onto his knees. ‘And? What did he tell you?’
My ribs pull tight around my lungs as I know the disappointment he’s about to face.
‘If all the people who were there when the vow was made agree to break it, then it’s as straightforward as verbalising that. The vow will be lifted.’
Kyor frowns. ‘And if they don’t agree?’
I pause. There’s almost no point in asking my next question. I know there’s not, but I have to ask it anyway. ‘There’s definitely no chance your father would do that? Release you from it?’
Kyor’s laugh is more than enough of an answer. Still, he shakes his head. ‘No, I can safely say there’s zero chance of that. So what’s the other option?’
A lump builds in my throat.
‘There is no other option,’ I say quietly. ‘It’ll last as long as you both live. I’m sorry. Magnus said you’ll be bound to the vow until one of your hearts stops beating.’
Kyor’s lips part and his eyes widen in disbelief.
‘So I have to keep it from you? Keep a secret from you for … potentially forever?’
I press my palm flat against his cheek. ‘Yeah. I’m sorry. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear. Not what either of us wanted.’
He shakes his head, letting out a slow breath.
‘It’s not just that I want to tell you, Rose.
It’s that I feel like I should. I feel as though there are answers in what he’s made me keep from you.
Answers you’re missing, answers that you need—’ His voice catches and he slams his fist into the mattress at the exact moment that a crash of thunder rattles the sky. ‘For fuck’s sake!’
‘Kyor,’ I say, twisting his face back around to me. ‘It’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.’
‘This isn’t just about us, Rose. It’s about the whole kingdom. I know it is. If I could just use your brain and Benny’s brain and we could put the pieces together, we could do it. We could find a way to … to… Fuck!’
‘We will find a way,’ I say.
He grits his teeth and his eyes move towards the bedside table. As if he’s looking for something. Something to dull the pain. Pain that was never about his shoulder.
Slowly, he lies back down and stares up at the ceiling, the words he wants to share forever trapped inside him.
There’s probably more we should say, but we don’t. Instead, I lie with my head resting on his shoulder, silently offering an understanding that words can’t. Not right now.
As darkness falls, I watch as the rhythm of Kyor’s breath changes, his chest rising and falling softly in a way that tells me he’s asleep.
My mind is made up. Tomorrow, I will ask the others if we can end our vow.