Chapter 7
Before they leave their motel room for the final time, Gene gives Ray one last kiss, and then it’s off on the road.
The drive back home is bittersweet. These are their last few hours alone together, and honestly, Gene is so, so incredibly nervous.
Once he pulls into that driveway in Lake Orion, the magic is over.
It’ll be back to reality—Carol will be there, breaking any illusion of Ray actually being his.
But they can’t run away forever. Despite his nerves, Gene keeps his eyes steady on the road, thinking of more hopeful things.
The rest of the band will be home, and even though it’s only been a few days, he’s missed Santiago’s happy-go-lucky laughter.
He’s missed Pat’s snarky banter, and hell, he’s even missed Stefan’s quiet presence reading books in the corner of their living room.
And no matter what, Ray is still his best friend.
That will never change. They’ll still be close, just in… other ways.
There’ll always be music. He and Ray wrote five new songs on this trip, and they’re bound to write more at home.
Then there’s teaching those songs to the band, recording them, and even the possibility of performing them on their next tour, which Gene thinks will be happening sometime in early fall.
It all makes him excited, happy that at least that aspect of his life is going smoothly.
During the drive, he and Ray don’t speak much, merely enjoying each other’s presence and the music blasting from the speakers. They hear a couple songs by the Dusty Brooms, sparking them to sing along again like they did on the way there.
Maybe now during the drive would be a good time to talk over things, but what would they say?
Gene can’t just ask Ray to break up with Carol—no, as much as he wants to, that’d be unrealistic.
Ray hasn’t brought anything like that up either, so he must be thinking the same thing.
And even if Ray was single, someway or somehow, they can’t be lovers anyway.
They’re in the Dusty Brooms—a popular rock band that’s taking the US by storm.
If it ever got out that the two lead men are queers, it’d be over for them.
Eventually, in the late afternoon, Gene pulls into the long driveway of their Lake Orion farmhouse.
There’s quite a few cars parked here, seeing as everyone who lives here (except Carol) has their own vehicle.
But they have plenty of room for them, being surrounded by cornfields, and Gene parks where he’s not blocking anyone else from leaving if they need to.
They both exit the car and Gene pops the trunk, grabbing his guitar case and Ray grabs their suitcase. After shutting the trunk again, Gene asks, “You ready to head in?”
Ray looks toward the house, then back to Gene, giving him a subtle shrug. “As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.”
Ray’s blue eyes shimmer, and an expression paints his face that Gene can’t quite place.
It makes his heart ache. If only he could reach out and kiss him again—but what if someone saw them through the window?
He can’t risk that. So instead, he gives Ray a sweet smile.
Ray smiles back, and Gene readies his keys, finally about to head inside.
After walking up the short set of stairs to the side door, Gene unlocks it, opening it up to the foyer that connects with the kitchen. He doesn’t announce their presence, but that doesn’t mean they come in unnoticed.
“Ray! You’re back!” Carol calls from off in the living room. In merely an instant, she rushes from there through the kitchen, stopping in the doorway to the foyer before Gene and Ray can even get their shoes off.
“Oh, uh… hey Carrie,” Ray says, giving her a sheepish smile, but not holding her gaze for long as he looks down, shimmying off his shoes.
“Finally, you’re back from your trip.” She frowns. “Did you have a good time with Gene?”
The accusing way she says it sends an uncomfortable chill down Gene’s spine. He doesn’t look at her, kicking off his shoes.
“Yeah, we had a good time,” Ray says. “Could you let us through? I wanna set this down somewhere.” He lifts up the suitcase quickly to acknowledge it, then sets it down again.
“Oh, sure.” She nods, moving out of the way to let Ray and Gene through.
They make their way through the kitchen and into the living room, where Pat and Stefan are sitting down on the couch, watching TV. Gene sets his guitar down on the shag carpeted floor, on its side against the wall by their record rack, and Ray places their suitcase next to it.
“Hey, welcome back,” Pat says with a smile.
“Hey guys,” Stefan says, face neutral.
“Hey,” Gene replies, but he can’t say more when Carol butts in again—
“So, what all did you do on your trip? Without me?” she asks, crossing her arms.
“Well, we did everything I told you we were gonna do,” Ray says, itching the back of his neck.
Gene feels the same nerves Ray is feeling, as sweat starts to pool on his temples, under his bangs.
“We watched fireworks and wrote songs. We also checked out some of the tourist spots in St. Ignace, like Castle Rock.”
“That sounds like fun,” Pat says from the couch.
“Yeah,” Carol stretches the word out. “What other kind of fun did you have, huh? Did you go to any bars? Meet any new chicks?”
“What the hell? No!” Ray says.
“No way!” Gene says almost in unison with Ray.
“Woah, okay.” Carol throws her hands out in a defensive gesture. “Just asking. You’re not lying to me about this, are you?”
“No, I’m not lying,” Ray says, huffing out a short breath. “Gene was with me, y’know. He can vouch for me.”
I can definitely vouch that you weren’t with any women, yeah.
Carol lets out a long, deep sigh, and she drops her hands to her sides. “Well, okay,” she says. “If you say so. I’m glad it was just you two guys, then.”
She… she only suspects that Ray would cheat on her with another woman?
Well, that makes sense. As long as they never slip up that what they did was more than friendly, Carol will never know. She won’t suspect a thing. Gene and Ray are simply best friends who went on a retreat together.
It also reminds Gene that—yes, they never did go to a bar.
They didn’t drink any alcohol during the entire trip.
He was sober. There were maybe a couple of times he thought of drinking or smoking weed, but with how fun he was having with Ray, all those other things didn’t seem to matter. At least not at that moment, anyway.
“Yeah, it was just us,” Gene says to her. “I wanna say, the only other people we talked to other than ourselves were the clerk at the motel and when we had to order food,” he chuckles.
“Again, if you say so.” Carol shrugs.
“I think they’re telling the truth,” Pat says. “No need to keep pushing it.”
“I wasn’t pushing it.” Carol pouts, but softens her expression when she looks at Ray. “But anyway, regardless of all that, I missed you, Ray. I couldn’t stop thinking of you, wondering what you were up to while I watched the fireworks with the others.”
Ray gives her a sheepish smile. “I—I missed you too, babe.”
No he didn’t. Liar. Any time I brought up girls, he told me he didn’t want to think about that.
Carol doesn’t know that, though, and she walks closer to Ray, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him close.
Every time Gene has to see them like that, it makes his gut churn.
They haven’t been here for even ten whole minutes, and he can already feel a pressure behind his eyes, a lump in his throat.
Oh, if only he could trade places with Carol, being the one with his own arms around Ray.
“You still have to make this all up to me, remember?” Carol says.
“About not seeing the fireworks together.”
“Oh, uh… yeah! What were you thinking?” Ray asks all too cheerfully.
“I’ve already made plans, so that way you can’t back out.” She smirks, leaning in even closer to Ray’s face. Gene’s stomach flips. “I asked Dennis for help, and he got the motel room all booked for us. Next weekend, we’re going to Cedar Point.”
“Cedar Point?” Ray’s brows shoot up high.
Gene tastes bile.
“That sounds like fun,” Pat says.
Not for me.
“It’ll be tons of fun!” Carol brushes noses with Ray. “I heard they just added a new coaster this year, which is cool. Besides, we’ve never had a vacation with just the two of us. I thought it was only proper that we do something like that, especially since I’m your girlfriend, y’know.”
Rub it in, why don’t you. A frown tugs on Gene’s face. He can feel his temperature rising.
Yet while he’s frowning, Ray is smiling.
It doesn’t even seem like a forced smile, no, he actually looks excited.
Maybe he’s just good at faking it, but what if he’s not?
A trip to an amusement park does sound like fun.
Gene knows he shouldn’t be so jealous—he was expecting something like this—but it still hurts all the same.
“Yeah, for sure,” Ray says to Carol. “I haven’t been to Cedar Point since I was a kid. This is gonna be great. Thanks for setting this up for us, babe.”
Babe. Gene scowls.
“Of course, Ray.”
And then—
Ray leans in closer, snatching Carol’s lips in a kiss.
She’s kissing the same lips Gene had kissed only hours earlier. Kissing the same man that Gene shared music with and bared his soul to. The same man Gene had fucked. And now that man is with her.
But Gene knows, unfortunately, Ray will never truly be his. This is his reality. They are both men; he can’t have Ray in the same way a man can have a woman. That’s why Ray won’t break up with Carol despite everything that happened in St. Ignace.
“Hey, Gene, what’s with the face?” Pat asks, snapping him out of his thoughts.
“Oh, uh…” He has to think of something quick. “I’m just a little jealous that Ray gets to go on this trip and not the rest of us.”
“You literally just got back from a vacation with Ray, though, didn’t you?” Pat raises an eyebrow.
“W-well, it’s not like we went on any roller coasters.” He lets out a nervous laugh. Sweat drips down his cheek.
“It’s okay, Gene,” Ray says, taking a step away from Carol but, unfortunately, still keeping a hand on her arm. “Maybe we could all go some other time?”
Gene sucks in a deep breath through his nose, letting it out slowly. “Yeah. I guess we could.”
Suddenly, the sound of socked feet barreling down the stairs from the upper level catches everyone’s attention.
“Gene! Ray! You’re back!” Santiago finally makes his appearance, plopping down at the base of the stairs, dressed in pajamas despite it not being evening yet.
“Oh hey, Santi!” Ray cheers, still annoyingly holding onto Carol’s arm. “Were… were you sleeping just now?”
“Yeah.” Santi shrugs, and everyone keeps staring at him. “What? There’s no harm in taking a nap during the day. And I changed into PJs to get comfy. Don’t wanna sleep in my jeans.”
“Okay, that’s fair,” Ray chuckles.
“But anyway, Gene! I need to tell you something.”
“Huh? Me?” Gene walks closer toward Santi, stepping around Ray and Carol.
“You’re blocking the TV,” Stefan says.
“What? Oh, sorry.” Gene moves out of the way, even closer to Santiago. Stefan didn’t say anything all this time, until now. He was actually still watching TV while we were talking? Gene shakes his head.
“And yeah, you, Gene.” Santi gives him a smirk, putting a hand on his hip. “You got a special phone call while you were away.”
“A phone call?” Gene’s brows furrow. “Who was it? My parents?” He can’t think of anyone else it could be.
It’s not like any fans of the Dusty Brooms would have their phone number, and they would send letters through the mail instead anyway, which Dennis sorts out.
And anyone important who’d try to reach the Brooms would go through Dennis first, and not try their own home phone.
“Definitely not your parents.” Santi chuckles. “It was that lovely Japanese lady you spent time with during the tour, Toshiko. I can’t remember her last name, but you know, right?”
Toshiko.
Gene’s heart stumbles.
How could he have already forgotten about her? He’s been so consumed with his desire for Ray that she simply slipped his mind. Of course he remembers her—now, anyway.
“Y-yeah, Toshiko Tanaka.” Gene nods, sucking in his lips. “I gave her our number.”
“Well, she was wondering what you were up to, and I told her you were on vacation for a few days,” Santiago says. “But she asked if you could call her back when you guys were done, and she gave me the number for the hotel she’s staying at.”
“Oh, uh… okay.” Gene feels the need to chance a glance at Ray, so he looks behind himself and does.
Of course, Ray’s brows come together, mouth forming a flat line.
And yet, his hand is still attached to Carol’s arm.
Gene turns back toward Santi. “Yeah, I’ll give her a call back. Did she say when she’d be available?”
“Any time during the evening on a weekday, she said. She seemed like she had quite a bit of free time; must be done with her work for the most part. Which I guess is why she was wanting to see you again.”
“Alright. Maybe I can try in a little bit, if you wanna give me the number.”
“Sure thing!” Santi smiles. “I wrote it down; I’ll grab it for you. I think it’s absolutely cool how she called, though. You lucky bastard.”
Santi nudges his elbow against Gene, making him chuckle. But it’s without any heart, as he looks back at Ray again. They make eye contact briefly before Ray looks off to the side, face still holding the same displeased expression.
More than anything, especially now, Gene wishes they could go back to how open they were with their affections like during their trip.
But it can’t be that way. No, he knows this.
His stomach turns, eating itself as he notices Carol brush her hand against Ray’s shoulder.
Watching Ray kiss Carol so freely makes Gene want to hurl.
So if Toshiko wants to talk to him again, he figures he’ll take her up on that offer.