Chapter 21 #3
She pouts, like she’s tossing Ray’s words around in her head, digesting it all.
Honestly, he’s just glad she seems to be taking it all rather well, all things considered.
Sure, she did yell at him at first, but at least she’s not throwing her pillow at him and barging out of the room in a fury.
Is it because this time, it’s about Gene specifically?
And not another woman? Or maybe she’s just feeling drunk as well…
“You know, I can see the appeal in Gene,” she eventually says, with a shrug. “I was drawn to him too, y’know, when I first started traveling with you guys. I don’t need to reiterate what happened.”
“Yeah. Of course.” He can never forget how when they’d first met, she had her sights set on Gene.
“I wonder…” She puts a finger on her chin. “I have an idea. If you’re gonna be brash and admit to me your deepest, darkest fantasies, I should be allowed to ask this. If you wouldn’t mind being sexual with Gene… what if we had a threesome?”
“A threesome?” Ray’s brows shoot up high on his forehead. His head swirls again.
“Yeah!” She smiles. She actually smiles. “I’ve already been with you both. And… I know I’m with you now, but I still enjoyed my time with Gene. And if you were curious about it already, maybe we could try it, doing something all together. I wouldn’t mind.”
“You really wouldn’t mind,” he says as a statement, not a question.
“Yeah. Maybe it could be fun?”
This is the absolute last thing Ray would’ve expected her to say. But he shouldn’t be so surprised, given her reasoning. He’d much rather her ask this than her continue to pester him about possibly cheating on her.
He tries to imagine the scenario, having sex with both Gene and Carol at the same time…
His stomach churns.
Nausea threatens to climb up his throat.
I can’t.
A fiery jealousy burns when he thinks of Gene and Carol doing anything sexual with each other.
What he wants to imagine is a scene like what happened last night, where he was Gene’s and solely Gene’s.
Even Gene himself has his own jealous tendencies—Ray knows he’d decline the idea if he dared bring it up.
Words they’d spoken last night ring around in his head—
‘Only you.’
He doesn’t want to share Gene with anyone, if he can help it.
“I dunno, Carrie…” He sets his hands in his lap atop the blanket, twiddling his thumbs.
“While I have these fantasies… I don’t know if I’d actually want to act them out.
Besides, it’d feel weird sharing you with anyone else.
” Yeah, if I say it like that, it won’t seem odd.
“I don’t think Gene would want to, anyway.
He’s with Toshiko now, y’know? And he doesn’t seem like the type to be unfaithful… ”
“I thought you’d said before that Gene is terrible with relationships.”
“Well, by that, I meant…” His heartbeat hammers away. “Back then when I said that, he’d never had a girlfriend before. But now that he does have one, I don’t think he’d want to do anything with anyone else.”
Carol shrugs. “Well, alright. It was just an idea I had, since you brought it up. But thank you for finally being honest with me about what’s going on in your head. I appreciate it.”
Ray lets out a sigh, his shoulders slumping. “Yeah, of course. It feels good to let it out.”
Though… how would Gene feel if he knew that I told Carol this?
He doesn’t have a chance to think on that further when Carol says something that shocks him silly—
“If you can be honest about how you’ve fantasized about a guy… I guess I can be honest, too. I’ve fantasized about being with women before.”
Ray’s jaw hangs open.
“Y-you have?”
“Yeah.” She nods. “But… I guess, just like you, I don’t know if I’d ever want to act on it. I’m with you now anyway, so unless we had a threesome with another woman… I don’t know. And if you wouldn’t want one with Gene, you probably wouldn’t want one with another woman.”
“Um… no, probably not.” All this talk is making his head spin even more. First he admits that he lusts after his best friend, and now Carol admits that she’s just as queer as he is. Maybe that’s another reason why she’s taking this all so well.
As long as she never finds out what he’s already done with Gene—and honestly, what he still hopes he can do—everything should be fine.
“Is there any lady in particular you’ve thought about?” Ray smirks, steering the conversation toward her and away from him and Gene. “Don’t tell me—is it Pat?”
“Pat?” Her cheeks darken, flushing red. “Um… I guess if it was her, I wouldn’t be opposed. But usually I would think of… the other models at my gigs. Often we change our clothes in the same rooms, and I’d catch glimpses of them naked…”
“Oh, really now?” Ray chuckles.
“Yeah…” She curls a lock of hair behind her ear.
The rest of the night goes on without any more worries, Ray teasing Carol with the new information he’s learned about her.
And while he pleasures Carol under the covers, facing toward her and not letting her see the marks on his rear, of course, his mind drifts to Gene again.
I wish I could spend the night with Gene.
Gene, Gene, Gene.
But this time, he keeps his mouth shut.