Chapter 31
Ray sits at the dining room table of his childhood home in Grand Rapids, Michigan.
His younger brother, Mick, is right beside him, and their parents sit across from them.
Though there is one person not with them today that his parents were expecting: Carol Knight.
It’s time for Thanksgiving dinner, and it’s an understatement to say his parents are displeased by her absence.
Ray and Carol have officially broken up.
He hasn’t spoken to her since she left suddenly that day in the studio earlier this month.
She hasn’t been back to their home in Lake Orion, either—all her stuff is sitting there in the house, collecting dust. He’s asked Dennis if he’s heard anything, if she’ll be back, to which he said she hopes to be back to collect her things while the Dusty Brooms are away at the studio again.
He’s scheduled them some more time at Sunset Sound, because in about two weeks they’re going to record a TV segment in LA for the upcoming New Years Rockin’ Eve program.
Dennis figured that was a good way to get them back there, along with supporting Nicky, who still needs to return to LA for his court date.
But while Carol has been gone, Toshiko tagged along with them all when they returned to Michigan.
She’s actually with Gene right now, having Thanksgiving dinner with Gene’s parents.
Ray can only imagine how that’s going. He knows Gene’s mom is a sweet woman, but she’s always teasing Gene about grandkids.
Now that he actually has a girlfriend to bring home…
Oh god. Ray shudders. He can’t bear the thought.
I don’t think Gene wants kids anyway. He’s never mentioned it, but I can’t help but worry.
Ray’s parents say grace, as they do before every holiday meal, and then they dig in.
The food is delicious; it always is every year.
His mom is a wonderful cook. They eat for a while in silence, Ray trying to distract his anxiety-ridden heart with bites of turkey and stuffing.
But it’s not long before one of them speaks.
“So, Raymond,” his mother says as she sets down her fork. “It’s a pity that lovely girl Carol isn’t with us today.”
It was only a matter of time before someone mentioned her. Ray clears his throat, dabbing his mouth with a napkin. “I know. But… I don’t think it’s all that bad. After being together for so long, it made us realize we weren’t really meant for each other.”
“She was so nice,” his mother comments. “I don’t understand how someone like her wouldn’t work out with you.”
“Unless… you did something to upset her?” his father says, rubbing his thick moustache with his napkin. “I haven’t forgotten how you broke up with that other girl, Harriet. You didn’t do the same thing with Carol, now, have you?”
Ray grimaces—of course his father would ask such a direct question.
It’s just like him, being as blunt as he is.
While he doesn’t want to lie to his parents, he also can’t say anything about Gene being involved.
His tongue is tied; he can’t muster up any words—anything he says, his parents are going to be mad.
“Raymond?” his father prompts as Ray doesn’t answer. “Michael, do you know what happened with them?” he asks instead.
“No, Ray hasn’t told me anything yet, other than that they broke up. Which… you already know about,” Mick says, bringing another bite of food into his mouth.
“Well then. Raymond, you’ll have to tell me yourself. It’s a simple yes or no question.” His father gives him a stern look. “Did you cheat on Carol?”
Ray gulps. His hands are shaking, and he sets his fork down, making sure it doesn’t clatter against his plate. “Yes, I did.”
“Raymond!” his father yells.
“Oh, how could you?!” his mother gasps.
“Really? You did it again?” Mick asks with surprise.
“I know! I know, I’m horrible. Fuck—oh, excuse me. Sorry,” Ray says, looking down at the table.
“We even met Carol,” his mother says, placing her manicured hand flat up by her necklace. “I can’t believe you’d do something so terrible to such a sweet girl.”
“She’s right to leave you, then.” His father grunts. “If you can’t treat a lady with dignity and respect, then you shouldn’t even be with one.”
“Maybe, huh, may-be,” Ray says, shaking head. “Maybe I’m just no good with relationships? I’ve only ever been in two official ones, and both ended in disaster.”
“Of your own doing,” his father remarks. “If you could just contain yourself, maybe you’d still be with Carol. Hell, maybe you’d still be with Harriet! Oh, pardon me, excuse my language.” He coughs into his fist.
“Why would you even do such a thing?” his mother asks.
“Is the temptation of the girls you meet while touring with your band that great? Are there drugs involved? I saw something in a magazine about that piano player you all know, how you went with him to the courthouse there in LA. I wanted to think you didn’t do any drugs yourself, that it was just him, but perhaps… ?”
The fact that his own mother knows about Nicky’s drug charges without him ever telling her makes his stomach twist. “No, mom, no, I had nothing to do with it. He knew some other people in LA and their house got raided. I just went with our manager since Nicky is kinda part of the band. The thing with Carol is… completely different.”
“But you are meeting ladies constantly while touring, isn’t that correct?” His father sneers. “Wasn’t Carol with you the entire time? I thought that was the case.”
“She wasn’t…” Ray sighs. “She has her own career with modeling, so she wasn’t with me the entire time. I…” Damn, none of this sounds good. I am just a cheating asshole.
“Well, at least she does have her own career,” Mick says, making Ray turn his head toward him. “That way she’s not relying on you for anything, and can go off on her own.”
“I suppose so.” Their father adjusts his tie.
“But the point still stands. If you want to ever have a family of your own, Raymond, you need to pull yourself together. This band of yours might make you a lot of money, but I’m afraid it’s twisting your morals.
You’ll never find a wife if you keep being degenerate like this. ”
Well, maybe I don’t want a wife then, huh?
Ray wants to say, but he can’t muster up the courage.
While he feels bad for Carol, he’s also relieved that he’s not tied to a lady anymore.
He loves women, of course, being attracted to them, enjoying their company, and obviously sex.
But being committed to one is the last thing on his mind right now.
No, there’s only one person he wants to commit to in any way, shape, or form.
Gene.
But it’s ludicrous to imagine being married to Gene.
It’s not even legal for two men to marry.
He couldn’t even have him as a boyfriend if he wanted to, not just because of Toshiko, but because of their fame.
It’s not like how Maurice can be with his own boyfriend, Kenneth.
Maurice is only a photographer. His face isn’t being shown in magazines, billboards, television.
Maurice isn’t the one performing up there on stage with thousands and thousands of fans watching him, their records being sold internationally.
That’s not to say that Ray doesn’t enjoy the perks of fame—he adores singing in front of the large crowds—but there are downsides, too.
It’s like that Rolling Stones song: you can’t always get what you want.
Wait—was I honestly thinking of getting married to Gene?
Ray’s cheeks heat up, hoping nobody at the table notices.
“I’ll figure something out,” Ray tells his parents. “I like being a rockstar. I like traveling, I like singing. It’s made me the happiest I’ve ever been. Maybe I shouldn’t have been with Carol, but she’ll be alright. Just a… another door opened for both of us, I guess.”
“Sometimes I forget how young you are, still,” his mom says, biting her red lower lip. “With your career, you’ve already been doing so much. But you have a lot of life left to live. Something will come your way. I just hope when it does, you won’t take a good thing for granted.”
“I don’t want to,” Ray says, looking across the table at her. “I guess… we’ll just wait and see.”
She’s right—he is still young. He’s only twenty-three. There’s so much more for him to do. So many more songs to sing, records to record, cities to tour. And no matter what their relationship is, he wants to do it all with Gene by his side.
“Well, I don’t want to keep talking about such distressing things,” his father says, picking up his fork again. “How about we just eat, alright? And enjoy this delicious meal.”
“Yeah, I agree,” Ray says. The rest of them nod, and they continue on, finishing their Thanksgiving dinner.
A while later, Ray heads to his brother’s room to hang out.
Mick still technically lives at home when not at school, so his room has been left untouched for the most part.
Ray’s old room, on the other hand, has been mostly gutted and turned into a guest room, as all his important stuff has been moved to his place with the Brooms in Lake Orion.
A wave of nostalgia hits him as he enters Mick’s room—posters of the bands they know and love are still plastered all over the walls.
The Rolling Stones, the Beatles, the Doors, and many more.
Mick puts on a record as the two brothers catch up.
Mick has been doing well in his computer science classes, blowing Ray away.
He’s already almost halfway through his junior year at University of Michigan, and has high hopes he’ll find a job in his field, albeit he may have to move.
Unfortunately most computing jobs are either in California or the East Coast. But even if Mick does have to move, Ray travels often enough with the band all across the country, so he’d always be able to visit.