26. Christopher - The Heart Locket
Chapter twenty-six
Christopher - The Heart Locket
S eems like it always comes back to Christopher. You’re probably shaking your head wondering how Edie could be so gullible, so na?ve. That question would be better answered by a professional who understands the need to be loved and wanted. Looking back now I hope she can smile, as I do when I shake my head, and ask my friend, “What the hell were you thinking?” Frankly, I don’t know but I will tell you the story however stupid you think it is. (It was stupid, by the way.) Even Edie agrees that this was beyond reason even for her.
Floundering. She loves that word. Maybe it’s because it’s a fish and she’s a former fisherman or maybe it’s because they’re white on one side and dark on the other. Flopping, meandering, floundering, a few months after Andy left, she admits she was a flounder. She was forty-nine years old and had to start over. She was broke, needed a job, and was left to figure it out on her own as she’d done so many times before but…SHIT, this was getting old. She was back in the Everglades area in southwest Florida but she was definitely not going back to fishing. She had cast her nets, literally and figuratively for the last time. Not looking for a man, still reminding herself to breathe after losing Andy, she hoped to heal her heart so she could move on.
Sitting on her lanai watching the sunset over the calming Gulf of Mexico, enjoying her third glass of wine, the phone rang. She hesitated to answer; there was no one she cared to talk with but it’s hard to let a phone ring without answering. Looking back, it was probably a mistake because you won’t believe what answering that call brought her.
“Hello?”
A long pause nearly caused her to hang up when she heard a man clearing his throat. She waited. “Is this Edie?” he quietly asked.
Irritated she asked, “Get on with it. What do you want?” Another pause.
“Edie, this is Christopher. I know it’s been many years but do you remember me?” His voice was shaky; somewhat unsure. How could she not remember? That stupid question should give you a clue.
Her head began to throb. How could it be that he was calling her now after twenty -seven years since they first met? She could barely speak as the words choked her. “Why?…wait…how? It’s been so long, why? What do you want?” She couldn’t think. Her brain was frizzling out, frying, shorting out like twisted electrical wires arcing. This couldn’t be. She was short of breath, heart racing, yet a certain excitement was clawing at her; they had a history and suddenly it’s come to…to what? Haunt her? In his gentle way that she remembered from so long ago, he began.
“Edie, will you listen? I don’t know if I can explain but I’d like to try. I spent nearly two years in that mental health facility and then I was released without any jail time. I think that the robbery I pulled off was caused by a combination of things. When you and I met I had just been discharged from the Navy Seals. I didn’t realize it at the time but I was suffering from PTSD from all the things I had to do on our many missions; I couldn’t talk about any of it but the horror affected me more than I imagined.
When I met you and fell in love with you, I felt my life could be normal but then you left me. I fell apart; couldn’t control any part of my life. My mind screamed, telling me if I could take you and the girls away from that small-town tongue-wagging hell, we could build a life together like we had planned. It was a ridiculous idea but, in my damaged brain, I thought it was a solution to have you back in my life.”
She fell into the nearest chair. Listening to him, she felt like she was watching a movie about their lives together. Remembering the emotions they shared, the love they couldn’t deny, she was melting, giving into the memories that were still there after these many years. She watched the scene play out in her mind when she snuck into his bed that warm spring morning, made love to him then he confessed he was married. She remembered the feeling of the locket in her hand that she returned to him that day. She remembered how he stood up against Sean risking his own life to protect her and the girls.
“Edie, are you still there?”
Her voice cracked as she uttered a feeble, “Yes.”
“I’ve been through a lot. I had brain surgery and spent a long time in rehab but never forgot our love. I don’t blame you for any of my troubles but now that you’re free, I would like to see you. I don’t know if we might still have a future together but at the least, perhaps we could both close this chapter of our lives.”
He was asking something of her she couldn’t do in this whirlwind of chaotic emotion. “Christopher, you’ve put me in this position before and again, I can’t answer right now. You have to give me time.” She could hardly get the words out through her sobs. There were so many factors; the memories of the love they had shared so long ago, her recent heartbreak of losing Andy to another woman, and trying to sort through her life and start over again. How many times should a woman have to do this? He very calmly spoke.
“Edie, I have nothing but time and I will wait as long as your decision takes. Maybe we can talk on the phone, get reacquainted, and then you can answer. What do you think?”
“You’re married, remember? I remember that day and I still regret crawling into your bed.”
“Sheila and I divorced five years ago but I still see my girls. They’re the light of my life,” he said.
“Sorry to hear about your divorce but it doesn’t change anything with me. I need time. I have to think about everything. I’m trying to put the pieces of my life back together again and I don’t know if you will fit into this complicated puzzle.”
There was a brief silence; she heard him sigh then he said, “Edie, I will wait no matter what your decision is. You know we’ll always be part of each other, even if all we have are memories, and if you choose to end it here, I fully accept that. I’ll call in a few days.” Then he hung up without saying goodbye.
Edie was never one to soothe herself with alcohol but this was an exceptional circumstance. She pulled out the bottle of Grey Goose and took a deep swig that burned all the way down. One more for good measure might help her sleep then she crashed into bed. There was no escape from her nightmares. Oh sure, she had lots of wonderful memories with all the different loves and relationships but she couldn’t gloss over the hell and heartache she’d experienced either. She was broken. She had lost her beautiful husband of sixteen years, all their possessions that they had slaved so hard to acquire; she had no money and now the man she had loved in an isolated, nearly forgotten, part of her heart in another life more than twenty years earlier, wanted to come back to love her again. She was a flounder for sure; either black or white, she needed gray. She needed a ‘do-over’.
The following morning she woke feeling like her head was inside the clanging liberty bell and wondering if she had dreamed that phone call from Christopher. She poured a steaming cup of strong black coffee and sat on the lanai to make some sense of her life. Life was complicated, unexpected, disturbing, yet beautiful. Just then the phone rang; she hesitated. She couldn’t talk to Christopher again so soon, but she answered. It was a supervisor at the office of a major homebuilder telling her she had been hired and would go through training to get her real estate license to sell their homes in new communities around the area. She had applied for a design position but the project manager thought she was better suited for real estate sales and the money would be better.
She was so elated; this was the new start she needed and she knew she could make a good living. The market was hot and she was ready to move on. A few days later she was attending classes and studying for the state exam. She liked the instructor and classmates and felt like she had entered the land of the living. A week later as she was studying the material from the day’s class, her phone rang. Without thinking she picked up. “Hello?”
A slight hesitation then a soft voice, “Hi Edie. This is Christopher. Do you have some time to talk?”
She felt like a vacuum had sucked the breath out of her. She wondered a thousand times why she made the fateful decision but she never came up with an answer. It’s probably the memories that still dance through her mind. The memory of him saving them from winter’s fury that first time they met, the gentle love he heaped on her girls, the nights she lay in his arms when he knew at any moment his life could be in danger, and the times when they met secretly to share their love even though she knew she had to stay with Sean and leave Christopher’s heart completely broken. Hoping against all reason they could somehow find that love, that connection they had so many years earlier, she invited him back into her life. That’s when all hell broke loose.
She drove fifty miles to pick up the man she had not seen for so many years. She was more than nervous; she was in a state of panic, somehow knowing this was a mistake but it was too late now. She had to see it through. She stood at the end of the jetway searching each face. It appeared the plane was empty and just as she was walking away she glanced back one more time to see a man who looked like a vagrant coming toward her carrying several trash bags. He was slightly hunched over, his hair was long and greasy, graying at the temples and when he opened his mouth to speak, he was missing the majority of his teeth. She was devastated. What had happened to the beautiful man she knew so many years ago?
He gave her a quick glance and said, “Let’s get out of here. Where’s your car?” They walked in silence and the only thing she remembered thinking was her cousin telling her, ‘If a man has the right characteristics, we can always clean him up’. When they got to her car, she couldn’t make herself look over at him. Once on the interstate, he cleared his throat and said, “Well, you’re certainly not what I expected. You’re fat, your hair is shorter and you’ve got wrinkles.” She was infuriated, slammed on the brakes, and pulled off the road.
He looked surprised. “Get out, you bum,” she yelled. “How dare you insult me like that when you look like a homeless derelict without teeth. This is a terrible mistake. Get out!” The corners of his mouth curved into a slight smile then he chuckled.
“That was a good way to break the silence, huh? At least we got the introductions out of the way. How the hell are you?”
She took him home like a stray dog. This is the story of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly but it was mostly ugly, no doubt. She felt she needed to treat him for fleas and worms, bathe and groom him then set down rules with no compromise. He must shower every day and wash his hair and she would cut and style it. He had a fear of dry feet, some fetish, so he greased his feet several times a day so she insisted he wear socks. He was an insomniac so while she tried to sleep, he played music, watched TV, cooked meals, and what she didn’t know, was roaming around town in her car. She awoke one night to him lying in her bed reading a Sports Illustrated magazine under the covers with a coal miner’s lamp strapped to his head. Picture that. It was infuriating though hilarious.
He insulted her regularly but she wasn’t sure he intended his comments as derogatory. Most of his comments seemed more childlike. He told her he had a partial lobotomy which was his reference to brain surgery. He was so strange she couldn’t understand him at all. There were times when he seemed like the man she had loved for half her life but most of the time, he was a stranger. Leave it to Edie to try to fix him. In retrospect, she should have known she couldn’t change a Tasmanian Devil into a Teddy Bear.
Just when she was ready to send him packing, there were good times that stirred her and gave her a glimmer of hope that they could perhaps be friends. He relentlessly helped her study for the state exam each night and encouraged her with positive affirmations. She passed with a score of 99. She came home from work one evening to find he had a wonderful meal prepared for them to enjoy. You can’t beat filet mignon and stone crab claws. He had another surprise for her. There were two new bikes and two tennis racquets. Scooting past the bikes she asked, “What are these doing here?”
“Well honey, I haven’t been exercising much since I’ve been here so I thought you and I could do some riding in the evenings and perhaps I’d teach you to play tennis. The Y has eight lighted courts and you might enjoy it.”
“So, you’ve got my life planned out for me, huh?”
“I was hoping you wouldn’t put a negative spin on my effort to give us some things to do together…other than eating and having sex.” Eating and sex were two of Edie’s favorite things so what’s so bad about that? The sex with Chris was just as lovely as she remembered.
“What? You’re a total ass, you know. I’ve put up with your craziness these many weeks and you’re not the least bit grateful. You need to make plans to move out of here. I need my space.” He smiled, put his hands gently around her neck, kissed her cheek, and reached into his pocket.
“Close your eyes for just a minute, okay?” he asked.
“Why, are you going to strangle me or slit my throat?” A muted laugh escaped his mouth.
She felt him drape something around her neck and she knew immediately, after all these years, what it was. It was the gold locket that had been a sort of crest between them, a promise that had been broken many times but still created a warmth of hope between them. She rubbed her fingers over the golden heart and felt the engraved initials on the back. After all these years he still had a way to burrow into her emotions. She’s such a sap.
The next night the bikes were sitting by the bench in the community park outside her door. He waited for her with jugs of water and tennis rackets. Little by little, she allowed him to break her down so they went riding and playing tennis enjoying the time together and she was getting better at tennis. They took her SeaDoos out on the Gulf of Mexico at least once a week, took picnic lunches, did a bit of fishing, and made love on a remote island or two.
The end is coming soon, I promise. Don’t get impatient. Edie began noticing a collection of tourist-type things accumulating in her guest room. Keyrings, postcards, tee shirts of every design and size, beach towels, and flip-flops were among the hundreds of items filling the room. When she asked him about it, he was flippant and explained he’d be sending things back to his family in New Jersey. She was doubtful but couldn’t make sense of it and wondered where he was getting the money for all the items and the extravagant food he was bringing in. She continued watching the room become fuller but still didn’t understand.
One day she was going to her storage area under the condo to look for something but her key was missing. He was napping, so next to his wallet was her key. She went downstairs to the storage area and nearly fell over in shock. The 10’ x 12’ room was filled from floor to ceiling with merchandise- expensive items. There were dozens of $200 diving masks, $300 watches, fancy sunglasses, flippers, scuba tanks, life vests, regulators, tennis rackets, boxes of shoes, and other sports equipment. A lightbulb went off. Christopher was a kleptomaniac.
She had heard talk of break-ins happening on the island. Many of the stores were missing massive amounts of merchandise supposedly disappearing during nighttime hours. She was aghast. She’s obviously not the sharpest tack in the pack but she knew he was using her car to transport his stolen goods and she would, therefore, be implicated in his felonious burglaries. Her mind twisted in a confusing maze trying to decide how to protect herself and her new career from ruin. His acts could cost her everything and, most likely, put her in jail. Within two hours he was gone and all the locks changed including a code for starting her car. She couldn’t say where all the merch went but perhaps a group of alligators in the swampy Everglades were learning a more sophisticated way to scuba dive. And…just like that…after twenty- seven years of Christopher’s shadow filling her life, she was finally free and he was gone….for good.