32. Christopher - Goodbye Forever
Chapter thirty-two
Christopher - Goodbye Forever
O ne would think Christopher would be a long-forgotten memory, completely off my radar. But how does one erase love that had been ever-present for more than fifty years? Without saying or thinking it, I thought he would always be there somewhere. It’s been more than twenty years since I said my final goodbye or so I thought. In actuality, this is my final goodbye.
We had a song that we believed was ours. It’s the Peter Cetera and Cher love song called After All. Later throughout our history when some form of contact was made, that song said it all. It talks about two souls always coming back together after all the starts and stops and never forgetting what they shared. I never hear that song without being transported back to his strong arms. The feeling creates a longing for the kind of gentleness he showed me, the softness of his touch. I know he never meant to hurt me though at times he did, I accept some of the blame for the torture he endured throughout those years.
This is not an obituary, though he is no longer here, this is a love letter to the man who taught me love. The beautiful man who rescued me and gave me a chance to know true love when I thought there was no such thing. An obituary is usually about where the decedent lived, his age, and those he left behind. Until I read his obituary recently, I never knew how old he was. It didn’t matter; nothing was important except the comfort in his arms or just the sound of his voice. It wasn’t always good; sometimes he angered me to the point of cursing like a trucker- yet he overwhelmed me with love. He was never demanding; he had saved me many times. He had his issues but I don’t understand what or why. All I know is that for over fifty years, he’s been a part of my soul, my being. When I think of him as I often do, those thoughts are always about the love he gave me.
I hope you forgave me though I doubt you held anything against me; that wasn’t your way. We knew from that very first kiss in 1970 that we were igniting a fire. We didn’t know the flame would burn for a lifetime. I trusted you with my life many times but I always locked my safe and jewelry box. We had a good laugh over that comment, didn’t we? Love is not a strong enough word for the emotions you filled my soul with. I hope to see you in Heaven, Christopher. Love Forever, Edie