Chapter 11 - Catching Up
Sunday started as a trio plan.
Which meant, naturally—
by eleven-thirty, Chloe cancelled.
I was already at SM Baliwag.
Jane was already there too.
Chloe's message appeared in the group chat.
GUYS SORRY
Then—
Family emergency
Then—
Dumating mga tita ko ??
I stared at my phone.
Jane stared at hers beside me.
Then looked up.
"Classic."
"Very."
Another message.
Can't go. Mama said stay.
Jane typed something.
I didn't bother checking.
A few seconds later—
Enjoy kayo
Then—
WAG KAYO UMUWI AGAD PARA DI SAYANG GALA
I replied:
Thank you for the operational instructions.
Chloe:
welcome
Then—
send pics
Jane immediately:
no
I laughed.
There.
Trio gala reduced to two because of visiting relatives.
Completely ordinary.
Jane put her phone away.
"So."
"So?"
"Let's eat. I'm hungry."
"Okay."
Simple.
No—
Since it's just the two of us...
No awkward adjustment.
No discussion.
We were already there.
We were hungry.
Therefore—
food.
Excellent system.
We found somewhere to eat.
Nothing fancy.
Rice.
Chicken.
Drinks.
Fries, because apparently fries had become mandatory whenever Jane or Chloe existed near me.
We sat across from each other.
At first, normal catching up.
My workspace.
Jane's work.
Chloe's family invasion.
People from high school.
Someone who got married.
Someone who broke up.
Someone who apparently moved abroad without telling half the people who still thought she lived in Bulacan.
Normal.
Then Jane stirred her drink.
"So."
I looked up.
"So?"
She watched me for a second.
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
I stopped chewing.
"What?"
"Do you have a girlfriend right now?"
"Currently? No."
"Seeing someone?"
"No."
"Crush?"
I looked at her.
"Currently?"
"Yes."
"A lot."
Jane almost laughed.
"Wow."
"You asked."
"Remove celebrities."
"That significantly reduces the sample size."
"Lia."
I laughed.
"Fine. Meron."
"How many?"
"Secret."
"Same?"
My fork stopped halfway to my mouth.
"What do you mean, same?"
"Like before."
I looked at her for a second.
"Some."
Jane nodded.
"Okay."
I narrowed my eyes.
"Why does this feel like an interview?"
"It's been a long time since we talked like this."
I paused.
Actually—
"...Oo nga no."
"Yeah."
I leaned back.
"Okay. Ikaw?"
Jane blinked.
"What about me?"
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"No."
"Seeing anyone?"
She frowned.
"Why did this suddenly come back to me?"
"Reversal."
She laughed.
"Wala."
"Suitors?"
"Some people message me."
"Are you entertaining them?"
"Not really."
"Why?"
She shrugged.
"Not a priority."
"Crush?"
"Secret."
I stared.
"Wow."
"Basta secret."
"Okay."
Fair.
Friendship apparently included equal-opportunity non-disclosure.
Jane took another sip.
Then—
"You never had a relationship?"
"College?"
"Yeah."
"I did."
Her eyebrows went up.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Tell me."
I stared at her.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"You're curious?"
"Bawal?"
"Hindi naman."
"Then tell me."
I sighed.
"Fine."
She smiled.
"Go."
"Actually, in college, there was this guy who courted me."
Jane immediately—
"A guy?"
"Yes."
"Okay."
"Engineering."
"Of course."
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing. Continue."
"Friend of friends. Very persistent."
"Cute?"
I looked at her.
"Why is that your first question?"
"Data gathering."
I laughed.
"He was okay. Apparently he thought I was pretty."
Jane nodded.
"Fair."
I ignored that.
"One day, he showed up at the Educ building."
"Why?"
"Flowers."
Jane's face changed.
"No."
"Yes."
I laughed at the memory.
"I saw him standing there and my first question was literally—"
I lowered my voice.
"Engineering ka, diba? Why are you here?"
Jane started laughing.
"He tried giving me the flowers."
"And?"
"I told him to return them."
Jane nearly choked.
"Lia!"
"What?"
"Grabe ka!"
"I didn't ask for flowers."
"You could've accepted them!"
"No."
"Why?"
"I don't like flowers that come with a boyfriend application form."
Jane stared at me.
Then laughed harder.
"Ang sama mo."
"Honest."
"What's his name?"
"Adrian."
"Poor Adrian."
"He survived."
"Did he?"
"Probably."
Jane recovered.
"Was he the only one?"
"No."
"Of course."
I laughed.
"Grabe ka."
"Go."
"Fine. Celeste."
Jane immediately leaned forward a little.
"Girl?"
"Yes."
"Pretty?"
"Very."
Her eyebrows lifted.
"Wow."
"What?"
"Nothing."
"You asked."
"Continue."
I smiled.
"She gave me flowers twice."
"Twice?"
"First one was after an event. Good-job flowers."
"Okay."
"Second one was during second year. Chemistry."
Jane's face changed.
I already knew what was coming.
"The 2.5?"
I pointed at her.
"Don't."
She started laughing.
"THAT was the 2.5 you kept complaining about?"
"Yes."
"I thought your life was ending!"
"It felt like it."
"O.A. ka pala talaga."
"I was nineteen."
"You were dramatic."
"Same thing."
She laughed.
"I must've looked devastated that day."
"What did Celeste say?"
I looked down at my food for a second.
Then—
"She said, You look like you needed something nice today."
Jane went quiet.
Just briefly.
Then—
"That was thoughtful."
"Yeah."
"Did you date?"
"No."
"Why?"
"She backed off."
Jane frowned.
"Why?"
"She told me she liked me."
"And?"
"I told her I liked her too."
Jane stared.
"And then?"
"Nothing."
"Lia."
"What?"
"You liked each other."
"I know."
"Then what happened?"
"I said I didn't know."
"Know what?"
"If I wanted a relationship."
Jane leaned back.
"Ah."
"And she didn't want the uncertainty."
"What did she say?"
I remembered it clearly.
Sharp.
Fair.
"Something like, If you like me, like me. If you don't, don't."
Jane winced.
"Harsh."
"Maybe."
I shook my head.
"But she deserved someone certain."
Jane nodded slowly.
"Fair."
She looked at me again.
"What happened after?"
"We stayed friends."
"Still close?"
"Less."
"Because of that?"
"Partly. She got busy too. We still talked sometimes."
Jane nodded.
Then—
"Okay. Anyone else?"
I laughed.
"Yes."
"Of course."
"Grabe ka talaga."
"Go. Tell me."
I took another bite.
"Fine. Mara."
Jane waited.
"She was easy."
"What does that mean?"
"Easy to be around."
I thought about Mara.
Not painfully.
Not anymore.
Just—
memory.
"She was always there. Coffee. Food. Calculator. Pad paper. Normal stuff."
Jane smiled a little.
"Cute."
"Yeah."
"Then?"
"Celeste told me Mara liked me."
Jane frowned.
"How did she know?"
"Because she said Mara was doing the same things she used to do."
Jane laughed softly.
"Ah."
"She noticed the pattern. How Mara looked at me. How she smiled."
"And you?"
"I denied it."
"Of course."
"I thought maybe she was just friendly."
"Of course."
"Stop saying of course."
"Continue."
I sighed.
"Mara eventually confessed."
Jane's attention sharpened.
"She said she liked me."
"And?"
"I said I liked her too."
Jane nodded.
"Then she asked me out."
"Okay."
"I told Celeste."
Jane blinked.
"You told Celeste?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"I felt guilty."
"Because?"
"Because I liked both of them."
"Ah."
"Celeste told me that was allowed."
Jane nodded slowly.
"She said I could like two people at the same time. Feelings aren't contracts."
"Smart."
"Yeah."
"And the date?"
"I liked it."
"You told Celeste?"
"Yes."
Jane stared.
"Lia."
"What?"
"Why were you giving Celeste progress reports?"
I laughed.
"I don't know. We were friends."
"Okay."
"She said okay. That was when she really backed off."
"And you and Mara?"
"We became official."
Jane was quieter now.
"Serious?"
"Yes."
"How long?"
"Almost a year."
Her eyebrows went up.
"Almost a year?"
"Yeah."
"Grabe."
"What?"
"I had no idea."
I shrugged.
"College."
She stared at me.
Then—
"What happened?"
I looked at my drink.
There were easier answers.
But we'd already started.
So—
"I disappeared into work."
Jane's expression changed immediately.
Not surprise.
Recognition.
Of course.
"Between business and third year, I kept squeezing the relationship into whatever time was left."
"Bad phrasing," she said.
"I know."
She smiled slightly.
"Continue."
"Mara asked for presence."
I paused.
"And I kept giving her evidence that I was present."
Jane frowned.
"What does that mean?"
"I'd tell her, I replied. I called. We saw each other last week. I'm here."
Jane stared.
I made a small gesture.
"Parang checklist."
"Very you."
"Thank you."
"That wasn't a compliment."
"I know."
I looked down.
"But that wasn't what she needed."
Jane stayed quiet.
"She wanted me to actually be there. Not give her evidence that technically I hadn't disappeared."
"Yeah."
"I loved her."
That part was true.
Still true in the way past love remained past love.
"But I kept fitting the relationship into whatever space school and work left behind."
Jane didn't interrupt.
"And eventually there wasn't enough space."
"For her?"
I looked at her.
"For either of us."
Jane nodded slowly.
"We tried," I continued.
"I tried."
"Did it get better?"
"For a while."
"And then?"
"Same problem came back."
I sighed.
"At some point I started thinking maybe we would've been better as friends."
Jane frowned.
"Why?"
"Because with friends, you can disappear for a while and come back."
She stared at me.
I immediately raised one hand.
"I know. Terrible."
"Very."
"But relationships don't work like that."
"No."
"You can't disappear for days, come back, and expect everything to still be exactly where you left it."
Jane nodded.
"She got exhausted."
"And you?"
"Also exhausted."
"Who ended it?"
"Mara."
Jane looked down.
"Before practicum?"
"Yeah."
Her head snapped back up.
"Wait."
"What?"
"Before practice teaching?"
"Yes."
She stared.
Then—
"That was when you kept asking me for PPTs?"
I started laughing.
"Sometimes."
Jane's mouth dropped open.
"I thought you were just too lazy to make your own PowerPoint!"
"I was heartbroken."