Chapter 11 - Catching Up #2
"You didn't tell me!"
"What was I supposed to say?"
I put on a serious voice.
"Hi Jane, can I borrow your PowerPoint? My relationship is collapsing."
"YES!"
I laughed harder.
"Absolutely not."
"Grabe. I really thought you were just lazy."
"I was functioning."
"Barely?"
"Functioning."
"You looked normal."
"Thank you."
"That is also not a compliment."
"Still taking it."
Jane shook her head.
"Sad life."
"Very."
Then she asked—
"What about Celeste?"
"Celeste wasn't waiting."
"Sure?"
"Yes."
"We were still friends."
"You never thought maybe you should've chosen her instead?"
I paused.
"After Mara?"
"Yeah."
"At first."
Jane watched me.
"I wondered if maybe we would've worked."
"And?"
"Or maybe we would've had the exact same problem."
I shrugged.
"I never found out."
"Do you regret that?"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because thinking about Celeste while grieving Mara felt unfair."
"To Celeste?"
"To all three of us."
Jane nodded.
"Yeah."
"She deserved better than becoming my what-if after a breakup."
"Fair."
She was quiet for a few seconds.
Then—
"Why didn't you tell me any of this during college?"
I looked at her.
"I didn't think I needed to."
Her eyebrows pulled together slightly.
"Even Mara?"
"Yeah."
"You were together for almost a year."
"I know."
"And you never thought to tell me?"
I shrugged.
"We talked about school."
"Just school?"
"Mostly."
Jane stared at me.
I smiled.
"Academics was our safe topic."
She laughed once.
"Safe topic?"
"Yeah."
"Grades. Requirements. Practicum."
I pointed at her.
"You complained."
"Excuse me."
"I borrowed PPTs."
"Grabe ka."
"Accurate."
Jane shook her head.
"But feelings? Hindi?"
"Not really."
"Why?"
I thought about it.
Then answered honestly.
"Because I didn't need to tell you everything."
Not defensive.
Just true.
"You were my friend. That didn't mean you automatically had access to every part of my life."
Jane nodded.
"Fair."
"And especially feelings..."
I looked down at my drink.
"You already knew enough about mine."
Jane went still for half a second.
Then—
"Ah."
"Yeah."
No drama.
No awkwardness.
Old history.
Already survived.
I smiled.
"Also, imagine telling you every time someone liked me. Ang yabang pakinggan."
Jane laughed.
"True."
I stared.
"Fuck you."
I pointed at her.
"Your turn."
She sighed.
"Nothing much."
"Love life?"
"College?"
"Yes."
"Some people tried."
"Define tried."
"Messaged me."
"Dates?"
"Not really."
"Why?"
She shrugged.
"I was busy with school."
I laughed.
"Obviously. You complained for four straight years."
Jane looked offended.
"Grabe ka."
"You started complaining during the first week."
"Bwisit."
I laughed.
"Some people thought I was pretty. Ganon."
"And?"
"Then sometimes you'd see them again and find out may girlfriend pala."
I stared.
"Grabe."
"Exactly."
"Did anyone actually pursue you properly?"
"Some kept messaging."
"Until now?"
"Some."
I raised an eyebrow.
"They don't really disappear."
"Persistent."
"Or bored."
"Also possible."
I laughed.
"No relationship?"
"None."
"Why?"
"I told you. I didn't have time."
"Schoolwork."
"Yes."
"Complaining."
"Shut up."
We moved on naturally.
The conversation didn't stay on love life.
Family.
Work.
Old teachers.
People we'd forgotten.
The ridiculous things schools made students do.
College presentations.
Practice teaching.
Groupmates.
Friends we still talked to.
Friends we only remembered when Facebook showed us their birthday.
Normal.
After eating, we walked around.
No destination.
Just mall.
Sometimes we entered stores.
Sometimes we looked.
Sometimes we picked something up—
checked the price—
then quietly returned it.
Very financially responsible.
Or very cheap.
Depends on perspective.
At one store, I saw a woman near the bookstore entrance.
Pretty.
Nice outfit.
Very nice legs.
I looked.
Once.
Then again.
Not dramatically.
Just—
look.
Human eyes.
Jane noticed.
Of course she did.
She didn't say anything yet.
Interesting.
Later, we were passing another section when someone walked by us.
Woman.
Casual clothes.
Bag over one shoulder.
There was a keychain hanging from it.
I stopped.
Turned.
Looked longer.
The woman kept walking.
I kept looking until the keychain disappeared into the crowd.
"Uy."
I turned back.
"What?"
Jane was staring at me.
"Why are you staring at that woman? Baka mabali leeg mo."
I laughed.
"Grabe ka. I was looking at her keychain."
"What's special about it?"
"MAMAMOO."
Jane blinked.
"What?"
"Teletubbies version."
"Teletubbies?"
"Yeah."
I laughed.
"They're weird."
Jane looked in the direction the woman had disappeared.
Then back at me.
"I thought you were looking at her ass."
"Uy, hindi ah."
"Then what?"
I thought about it.
"Maybe her legs."
Jane stopped walking.
"Lia!"
I laughed.
"What?"
"Grabe ka."
"Observation."
Then Jane looked down.
At her own legs.
She was wearing shorts.
I saw it.
I smiled.
"Oh. Why are you checking your legs?"
Her head snapped up.
"Wala."
"Sure?"
"Wala nga."
I laughed.
"Uy, coffee?"
Jane narrowed her eyes at me.
Then—
"Sige."
Problem successfully redirected.
We ordered coffee.
Sat on a bench.
People passed in front of us.
For a while, we just drank.
Then Jane nudged my arm lightly.
"Type mo yung woman earlier?"
"Which one?"
"The one near the bookstore."
"The pretty one?"
"Yeah. Yung maputi legs."
I turned to her.
"You noticed?"
Jane stared.
"Lia."
"What?"
"You were the one looking."
"Doesn't answer my question."
She took a sip.
"I noticed."
I smiled.
"Should I ask for her number?"
Jane shrugged.
"Bahala ka."
I looked back toward the bookstore.
"She's probably gone."
"Sayang."
"I can't chase her now."
"Ang bagal mo."
"I wasn't planning ahead."
"Businesswoman ka pa naman."
"Different acquisition strategy."
Jane stared at me.
"Please don't call getting someone's number an acquisition."
I laughed.
"Fine."
"Also, maybe she has a boyfriend."
"True."
"Or girlfriend."
"Also true."
"Or ayaw sayo."
I looked at her.
"Why are you attacking me?"
"Risk assessment."
I laughed.
"Fair."
We sat there for another minute.
Then Jane said—
"What if we went to the same college?"
I looked at her.
Interesting.
"Maybe you would've complained less."
She stared.
"Grabe ka. Was complaining the only thing I did in college?"
"Yes."
"Bwisit."
I laughed.
"You'd still complain. Maybe slightly less."
"Why less?"
"No unreasonable video explanation about solving."
Jane groaned.
"Natrauma ako dun."
"So you said."
"It was so long."
"I know."
She drank more coffee.
Then—
"Would I have met them?"
"Who?"
"Mara. Celeste."
"Maybe."
I thought about it.
"If we went to the same school, probably."
"What would I have seen?"
I smiled.
"Me staring into space trying to figure out where I went wrong and how to fix it."
Jane laughed.
"Very you."
"Bwisit."
"You said it."
"True."
I leaned back.
"Maybe things happened the way they were supposed to."
"What?"
"Different schools."
Jane looked at me.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Past is past."
She watched me.
"Do you regret it?"
"College?"
"Yes."
"No."
"Why?"
I looked at the people passing in front of us.
"I don't regret what I did or who I met."
"Even the bad parts?"
"Yeah."
I shrugged.
"It was good and bad."
"Lesson learned?"
"Basically."
She nodded.
"Okay."
Then—
"Show me Celeste."
I immediately looked at her.
"Why?"
"I'm curious."
"No."
"Why?"
"I don't want to see her today."
Jane laughed.
"O.A."
"Basta."
"Is she really that pretty?"
I stared at my coffee.
"Kung alam mo lang."
Jane's eyes widened.
"Wow."
"Stop."
"What's her full name?"
"Secret."
"Facebook friend?"
I looked at her.
"Why?"
"I'll search."
"Jane."
"What's her name?"
"Wag na."
"Okay. I'll search when I get home."
"Jane!"
She started laughing.
I pointed at her.
"Don't."
"Curious lang!"
"You have no boundaries."
"Sabi nung ayaw magkwento nung college."
"Exactly. Consistent."
We got up again.
Walked more.
And because apparently the universe had excellent comedic timing—
someone called out.
"Jane?"
We both turned.
Old classmate.
She smiled.
"Hi, Jane. Hi, Lia."
"Hi."
"Hello."
She looked between us.
Then smiled wider.
"Kayo na?"
Jane and I both blinked.
"Ha?"
She laughed.
"Bagay kasi kayo."