CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE #3
‘With Henry, I thought it was different. It seemed so natural, so easy. He said he cared. He said the same old lies, but they sounded so sincere, right up to the point when he abandoned me. When … when my father died, he came to me, all consolation, and I felt so safe. Yet after that day I did not see him again, nor did he even write to explain. He just dropped me like a stone into a pool, to sink. One word from his family and I was not even worth an explanation.’ She spoke without anger, but with immense disappointment.
‘Freshford was a weak fool. A man who loved you would not have abandoned you.’
‘But my father did.’
It was such a simple statement, and explained so much.
He had wondered why the disappointment at eighteen had been so profound, and had come to the conclusion that it was as much to do with embarrassment at the humiliation as any broken heart, for adolescence saw hearts break and mend easily enough.
Now, he saw that Freshford had been the final confirmation of perfidy, just when a vulnerable girl had thought, hoped, that the giddy spiral of ‘falling in love’ meant that it would prove stronger than the bond of paternal affection.
341‘We were happy, a happy family, a loving family. I loved Papa, as I loved Mama, and Charles, my little brother. I had a perfect existence, until I was ten. And then suddenly, they were gone, Mama and Charles, and there was just the two of us, and Papa turned his back on me, avoided me. He rarely spoke to me, hid himself away, and when my aunt offered to take me to Marden when I was thirteen, he was glad to be rid of me. What love was there then? None.’
Sir Lucius paused, and then said gently, ‘Forgive me, but your uncle is fair, and I dimly recall that it was so with all the Ashling brothers. I take it you are more like your mother.’
‘Very like, according to my aunt. I sometimes catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and it reminds me, but perhaps that is just fanciful, and because of us both being dark.’
‘Then is it not entirely possible that your father, bereft of an adored wife, could not bear to see the daughter so like her, and yet not her? Grief takes people in different ways.’
‘But I too grieved. I was so alone. I needed him, needed to be loved still.’ It was a cry, the cry of a lonely and confused child.
She stood with tears on her cheeks now, and took a great shuddering breath. He had been unconsciously stroking the back of the hand he held with his thumb, but now drew her to him, unresisting, and put his arms about her, kissed her hair.
‘You are loved. I love you. I will not abandon you, Elizabeth, and I do not think your father ceased to love you. Think, my darling. What need had he to invest in schemes, a man who lived quietly, reclusively? Perhaps all 342that he thought he could do for you was provide more for you, not to have men court you for your wealth but so that none would be dissuaded by what he thought a mere competence, hoping that you would find someone who could give you the love he could no longer make plain. Look at me, Elizabeth.’
She shuddered as a sob caught in her throat, but obeyed, and saw his face very serious, yet with tenderness in his eyes.
‘My love for you will not waver, but I need to know. Do you hold off from me because I mean nothing to you, or because you are afraid to listen to your heart? I cannot command you to be my wife, only beseech you, beg you, and I am not too proud to beg. If I mean nothing, be assured always of my … friendship; know that you can call upon me in any trouble; know—’
‘Lucius.’
It was but his name, whispered tremulously, but it gave him his answer, and he felt her relax against him.
His hold tightened, possessively, and he bent his head, his mouth seeking hers.
If the first kiss lingered tentatively, the second, as he felt her respond, was hungry.
She pulled back, but only to fling an arm about his neck, and match that hunger with her own.
Whether it was as the consequence of the flood of emotions, or just the sheer overwhelming sensation of his embrace, her knees seemed to give way, and she could not thereafter say whether he led, or half carried her, to the sofa, where they were disturbed some time later by Lady Godmanchester, who, she said mendaciously, sought her 343embroidery, which she had set down somewhere and mislaid.
She pretended not to notice how closely together they were sitting, nor the touching fingers, nor Elizabeth’s heightened colour, but went away to tell her lord that all was well.
‘Do you think she guessed?’ murmured Elizabeth, leaning comfortably against Sir Lucius’s shoulder once more, as his arm slipped back around her waist.
‘Oh, she did not guess, my love. She knew.’
Elizabeth giggled, a sound he had not heard from her before, and he grinned down at her.
‘Am I to have a giddy wife?’
‘Not giddy, sir. I am no feather-head, I assure you. It is just, at this moment, as if I had taken too much champagne. I did so once, when I was young, and after the giggles I had the hiccups.’
‘I sincerely hope you are not going to progress to the hiccups now. Kissing you would become extremely awkward, and I do so like kissing you.’
She offered him her lips to prove this would not be the case.
‘And,’ he remarked, a few minutes later, ‘what do you mean by “when I was young”? If you are old, my child, at twenty-one, what does that make me, since I am nearer thirty than twenty-five?’
‘Positively ancient,’ she purred, and snuggled even closer. ‘I shall buy you an ear trumpet and a gout stool as wedding gifts.’
‘I can scarcely wait.’ He grew more serious again. ‘I will leave you tomorrow, and go back to London, but return 344within a couple of days. I must see Lord Chalford and tell him the news, and have the notice put in the papers, though I hope to be spared your aunt falling upon my neck in relief.’
‘Relief?’ Elizabeth raised an eyebrow.
‘Indeed, at getting you off her hands before the child Amelia, my sweet. I refuse to let Carbrooke beat us to it. I would like the preparations well advanced for when we return, and I know Lady Chalford will want to send you off in style. It will be “St George’s, Hanover Square, and all the trimmings”, my love, without a doubt. ’
She pouted, but her eyes danced. ‘I see. Then she will be delighted, even though it is you, Sir Lucius.’
‘Touché. You know, I was right. You and the Trojan Horse are very similar.’
‘We are?’ She eyed him suspiciously, for his eyes danced even more, and his lips twitched.
‘Yes. You told me once she was “quite a handful, but with a lovely soft mouth”.’
‘Ooh, Lucius!’345346