Chapter 1 #3
I get out of the shower, dry myself, and rub lotion all over my body calmly and in a lazy way; I dry my hair and put my pajamas on.
I step into the room and start to look around.
This whole room screams me—the real me, not the one I show to outsiders.
On my bed, there’s a large frame with a picture of me and my siblings hugging each other, and we all have genuine happy smiles on our faces.
One big bookcase occupies the wall, even though we have a library in the house.
I like to keep my favorite books close, a vanity full of perfumes and makeup, and a desk to it with my laptop, iPad, and e-reader.
The canopy bed is decorated with lilac fabric, stuffed with pillows, a true princess bed, like the ones from the books I used to read when I was little, a tiny bed for my dog next to mine, on the same color tone and equally princess-like, where my cavalier King Charles Spaniel is now sleeping.
I walk toward her and smile, leaving a small peck in her head.
Amethyst was the best gift I’ve ever received.
I love her to death and can’t imagine my life without her company.
I sit on the chair next to the window, grab my copy of ‘The Great Gatsby,’ and look outside.
The sun is rising, and I simply lean my head against the window glass and admire the view.
When it’s up, I grab the book once more and dedicate my attention to two chapters, and as soon as I’m sufficiently relaxed, I put down the book and go to bed.
I sit on it and look around, finally alone.
The entire day, I found myself wishing for this moment more than anything, and now that the wish has come true, I feel more alone than ever, maybe even a little abandoned.
I don’t know, but I feel the tears coming, and I bite my bottom lip hard in an attempt to prevent that from happening.
I feel a single lonely tear running down my right cheek.
I lay down and curl up with the fear of letting them fall.
I hear the rustle of the covers and a small, warm weight lean against me; on me, I smile and realize that even alone, even in the worst moments, Amethyst is always there for me.
I turn and hug my little dog, and she snuggles in my body, making us both finally fall asleep.
I wake up with the sunlight on my face and the smell of warm waffles.
I open my eyes lazily and notice my mom sitting at the end of my bed with a tray carrying my breakfast next to my legs.
I give her a big grin and sit up quickly.
I check the time on my phone, seeing that it’s ten-thirty.
I smile and observe my breakfast: waffles, croissants, fresh fruit, coffee, squeezed orange juice, and a small variety of jams. She knows me so well, I thought while taking a sip of my sweet coffee.
“Happy birthday, Principessa,” she says, leaving a long kiss in my forehead, slowly stepping away, and sitting close to me, leaving space for Amethyst to sit on my lap.
“Thanks, Mom; I know it’s my birthday, but you didn’t have to!” I tell her while putting a big piece of waffle in my mouth, making her smile.
“Of course I had; eighteen is an important mark, and besides, I have to take advantage of the fact that I still have my little Principessa at home!” I glance at her and notice her eyes filling up with water, and she tries to stop them by looking up.
“You know that was never my intention to hurt you with this decision, right?” I ask with a certain fear, reaching for her hand and taking it to my lips, leaving a small kiss and making her smile.
She lets go of my hand and touches my hair, putting a few strands behind my ear, like she used to do when I was little, and I lay my head on her hand, enjoying the caress she leaves on my head.
“I know it wasn’t my love, but as a mother, I can’t be desolated for my youngest cub to leave home!
We have great universities here, and you always liked living in Portugal.
I always thought you were going to live with me for longer.
” says with a hopeful smile on her face, making me want to cry.
One part of me shouts that I shouldn’t abandon her like my dad did, but I need to grow up, learn by myself, and be myself.
“I know, and you know, that I love living with you, but I need desperately to become independent, Miss Cecília! I feel like if I continue living where everybody knows me that knows who our family is, I’ll never grow up.
” I smile with my eyes filled with water, watching a single drop run down her face, and she quickly wipes it away.
“You always protected me from everything, and I’m immensely grateful for that, but I feel like now it’s time to grow, you know?
To learn for myself, take risks, get out of my comfort zone, and try to be set free!
You’re one of the people I love most in the world, and I will visit.
I’m hoping for visits, as many as possible, but maybe all the protection and help restricts me of being myself to understand who I really am!
I want to be independentandfeel useful.
I don’t want to keep having this thought of needing anyone for anything; I want to do that for me. ”
“I know you can, Principessa , and I want you to know that I trust you and I know you can do it. And if you think you need to go to prove yourself, go and do what you need; I love you and I’m proud of you no matter what.
” I smile and cry at the same time, becoming a true mix of messy hair and a red swollen face.
I leave the tray next to me and lean toward my mom, hugging her.
“I love you so much that I can’t find the words to describe it.
Thank you for everything. For the support, for the love, for the opportunities, for taking care of me, and above all, for never leaving me, especially when things got hard.
So, don’t forget that I love you,” I whisper in her ear while we are still hugging, feeling her shaking and my shirt getting wet from her tears.
“I love you infinities, my Principessa. Now let’s go.
Let’s get out of that bed. Today is going to be a busy day.
Me and your grandma have the right to have your company for lunch.
Your brothers reclaimed their rights for the afternoon, and the night belongs to your dad.
You’re going to dinner,” she says as I wipe away her tears and pick up the tray, getting up from my bed, I smile and do as she says.
I open my mouth to ask what I should wear, but it’s like she has read my mind and comments.
“Comfortable clothes: you’re going from the restaurant straight to wherever the place your brothers want to take you, and they said that comfortable clothes are mandatory. ”
I wear a simple, comfortable outfit, as recommended, accompanied by simple make-up and striking red lipstick.
I put on simple makeup and red lipstick.
About three years ago, the red lipstick became my trademark.
I use it every day, no matter where I go, or what I’m wearing, I feel naked without it.
I think with time it became kind of like an armor making me confident and strong, ready to take on the world.
I walk out of my room and move toward the staircase accessing the first floor.
From the balcony, I see that the house is already in an impeccable state, without a single speck of dust or confetti to prove that there was ever a party of two hundred guests last night in this house.
My mom and Grannie are waiting at the end of the staircase, both grinning and in the best mood.
As soon as they see me, they offer me that grin that I instantly give back to them.
I run down the stairs, making my mom scold me with her eyes.
I ignore and quickly join them. I fit in between the two of the strongest women I have ever met, and we all leave to the Rolls-Royce that belonged to my grandad, it was his favorite car, and he never let any of the family drivers even breathe near it.
After he passed, Grannie started doing the same; only she would drive that car, and since she doesn’t really like driving, she only uses it on social days, what makes my smile broaden.
I let the two women go and rush to the back door, and sit in between the front seats, watching my mom and grandma sit in the passenger and the driver’s seat respectively.
We drive to our favorite Italian restaurant in Lisbon, immediately after we enter the garcon walks us to the VIP room so we can be more comfortable, Grannie orders everything on the menu, like she used to when Grandad was alive, we share the food commenting a little on all plates in the middle of conversations and laughs.
I look to both women in front of me smiling and talking excitedly about the fact that we have to start to look for an apartment in London for me, I refused to go to the mansion that Grannie lived her entire childhood, I want something more simple, they ask me something that I think was about curtains and I simply smiled and nodded, knowing how lucky I am to have them in my life.
The door is open in a bang, making the tall, imposing figures of my brother appear.
They walk toward us, leaving a kiss on my moms and grannies’ faces and on my forehead, sitting in the empty chairs in front of us.
“So, can we now steal the birthday girl?” Vincenzo asks in his usual relaxed matter. I nod in a “no” way, and he raises his eyebrow.
“I haven’t had my dessert yet, and I’m not leaving without dessert!” I say childishly, shaking my head from side to side, causing everyone present to laugh.
“Seems fair,” she says. I nod my head and my bothers smile nodding. “What do you want, Principessa?”