Chapter 1 #4
“Everything,” I say it with a big smile, making the garcon laugh with my family.
I was always like this, crazy for sweets.
When I was young, every time we arrived at a restaurant, I would ask for the dessert menu before the actual meal.
To think about what to order never really worked because I simply wanted to try everything, and I would also eat my parents and brothers’ desserts.
When I grew up, and mom decided to stop control the sugar that I consumed, I started asking for anything that I wanted.
The garcon comes back to the table with all my favorite Italian desserts: panda cotta, cannoli zeppole, struffoli, tiramisu, and zabaglione.
“We should’ve given her desserts as a gift; her eyes are shining more than when she saw the egg Fabergé !
” Points out Lorenzo making everyone present laugh including the garcon, I shrug my shoulders and stick a cannoli in my mouth, closing my eyes with relish.
I leave the restaurant with my siblings, that put a black blindfold covering my eyes, telling me that I would only be able to know where we going when we get there; after some time in the car, we finally arrived to the destination.
Vincezo helps me out of the car and guides me the all way; I feel the smell of sugar, popcorn, sweet stuff in general and get immediately excited.
As soon as the blindfold is removed from my eyes, a wave of enthusiasm runs through my body, making me feel like a child; I hug my brothers and pull them to the entrance of the funfair, grinning at all the carousels moving.
I see children running everywhere, and I have the absurd desire of doing the same.
“So where should we start, Ferris wheel?” Vincezo asks in his unworried way, putting his hands in his pockets. I nod instantly no.
“Let’s leave the wheel for later; I want the sunset in it.
” They simply nod, looking at the fair, while I decide where to begin.
We can start with the rollercoaster and go to all the fast ones first, and leave the Ferris wheel and the slower ones for last. Both look at each other.
shrugging their shoulders and nodding in my direction, making me grab one of each hand and pulling them toward the rollercoaster in running steps.
After being in all carrousels and about five times on the rollercoaster, we ate all sort of things that are sold in the park, from cotton candy to popcorn, hot dogs, hamburgers, French fries, milkshakes, everything…
I pay for three ice creams and take them to my brothers; give the chocolate one to Vincenzo and the strawberry to Lorenzo. Keeping the straccietella in my hand, we walk to the ferris wheel to see the sunset. Lorenzo helps me in, and we sit in chairs, me in their middle.
“I’m going to miss being able to annoy you both for a whole afternoon,” I tell them while resting my head on Vincenzo’s shoulder, smelling his woody scent, which I adore.
“You can bet that’s the same for us” Lorenzo affirms, hugging me from the side, making Vincezo agree. “Are you sure this is what you want? You know you don’t have to rush things, Chiara.”
“I know, but it will be good for me. I feel the need to grow and become independent. And even if I love living with you in the same house. That makes everything a little bit harder. Besides, don’t think you are getting rid of me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, and you can be sure that we’ll visit you. What kind of older brothers would stop controlling their younger sisters so easily?” Asserts Vincenzo with a smile on his face making me laugh and kissing each of them on the forehead.
“I hope so. What am I going to do now, without you controlling the time I get home, bringing me hot chocolate to bed on the cold nights, and watching movies, and eating ice cream when I feel sad” I say while looking down with my eyes watering.
I feel the hug from both getting tighter.
“I’m going to miss you so much that sometimes I think of making you come with me! ”
They laugh and leave a kiss on my hair. I simper at the horizon. I’m incredibly lucky when it comes to my brothers; they are the best thing I have in my life, and I love them so much that the thought of not being able to see and hug them every day hurts my heart.
“Always and forever, nothing and no one will stop us from loving and protecting you, Chiara. We will stay here waiting for you, but you know if you need, we are one call and a flight away. We would both leave everything behind for you, like we know you would for us. This is a promise; we will never leave you in any circumstance.” Lorenzo says these words with such certainty that my eyes fill with water; Vincenzo wipes them and smirks at me, sealing my promise.
We all stay and stare at the sunset, locking hands with each other, squeezing them, and being squeezed back, smiling truly happy and safe.
“Always and forever,” I say it with a smile, hearing the two voices say in unison, “ Always and forever!” making the three of us seal that promise, which would certainly never be broken.
When I arrive home, I run as fast as possible to the next floor, take a quick shower, put on a tweed set, and blow dry my hair.
My hair is usually straight, slightly waved, looking like I just came from the ocean; my red lipstick brightens my face, and blond hair, or golden like Grannie usually says, my eyes look greener than usual, and I ask myself if it’s because I’m genially happy.
“Miss, your father is waiting for you at the door,” announces Maria, the housekeeper. I take my bag rapidly and exit my room, giving Maria a head kiss before running downstairs. “Careful, Miss, you are going to fall! These children nowadays are so careless.”
I laugh at her vent and exit the house. My dad is inside his Ferrari.
I open the door and sit quickly, giving him a kiss on the cheek; theway was made in silence.
I remember when I was little. Before he left us, was impossible for me to shut up when I was with my dad, I was literally daddy’s little girl, his princess.
But when he moved, I resented him for a long time, sometimes even refused to go out with him, until I started missing him and so threw in the towel first, but when I did, we’ve had already missed a lot of time.
Now, we didn’t have that much to talk about like before.
I hit puberty, and everything became more complicated; I miss that goodnight kiss in my bed, to walk down for breakfast and fining him smiling at me from the table, to count on him at any time, not being a flight away.
I don’t realize we made the all way until my dad open the car door and reach his hand to help me out; I accept and thank him with a smile, walking beside him arm in arm to the Japanese restaurant entrance.
“Your grandmother said that you had Italian for lunch, so I thought sushi would be a good idea.”
“Yes, it’s great. Thanks for coming; it means a lot to me.”
“I would never miss your 18 th birthday, Princepessa; it’s an important date,” claims while pulling my chair so I can sit. I barely smile, remembering all the important dates that he had miss all these years, and I want to shout how many he lost; I quickly drink a sip of water and clean my throat.
“It’s a shame that you lost so many along the way,” I blur it out without thinking; I see the awkward look in his face and regret it immediately.
“You know that I didn’t want things to be like this, Chiara; life simply took us to different places, he says calmly, trying to lighten the mood but making it even worse.
“Don’t you dare blame life for your actions; you left us, you, not life; you did that, you thought about it and decided to move to another country without asking anyone’s opinion, so if anyone is to blame is you,” My voice trembles and my eyes fill with tears, biting my lip hard, trying not to cry, feeling the iron taste of blood in my mouth and the tears finally freeing themselves, I try to wipe them rapidly, but he’s seen them.
I look at his big, green eyes that look like mine watering.
I see the pain and guilt in them, but I can’t feel bad for the words I just said; he abandoned us!
“I never abandoned you, not you nor your brothers, but things were so hard, and had to move on with my life…”
“Yes, move on with your life without us.” I interrupt him rudely, as I have never done before. The garcon comes back to the table and puts a big boat of sushi between us, says, “enjoy,” but nobody answers.
“I asked you to study in Italy, to live with me,” he states quickly and kind of outraged.
“I’m sorry, but you are a few years late; I’m not a child; I don’t need you like before. Besides,I’m following your footsteps and moving on with my life!”
“I’m sorry; I know I wasn’t the best when I left, but in that moment, it was the right choice to make Principessa !
” Expresses while reaching my hand on the table, slightly squeezing it.
“I never wanted you to feel less than immensely loved, Chiara, because believe me amore mio , you and your brothers are immensely loved. Maybe I don’t properly show it, but never doubt my love for you and them; I would do anything for all of you. ”
“I know that, and I’m sorry for the way I treated you, but it pains me that you simply moved to another country without asking us if we were okay with it.
I remember crying every night after you left!
But let’s just stop talking about sad things; it’s in the past there’s no point of looking back on it. ”
“You are right, so tell me, have you found an apartment yet?” asks while taking a piece of sushi and putting it in his mouth.
“Not yet; Mom and Grannie offered to help look for one and decorate it; we have some time left anyway, but I’m really excited!” Dad only smiles and nods his head, eating more sushi. “Are you upset with my choice to go to England?”
“Of course not amore mio , if that’s what you want, I’m happy for you! I would only prefer if you came to Italy, but I know you want your independence and to live with your friends, and I’m okay with that.”
“I feel like I need this, Dad, like never before; I have to learn to live alone where no one knows me. I want to find myself.” He takes my hand to his lips and leaves a kiss.
“I couldn’t be more proud of you, Principessa.”
I enter the house silently. It’s after midnight, and I don’t want to wake anyone up, take off my high heels and hold them in my hands, walk to the kitchen, get a water bottle, and get ready to go to my room.
I notice the light coming from Grannie’s office thought the crack on the back of the door; I approach in light steps and ear the classical music playing on the TV.
I open the door quietly and peak inside.
Grannie’s is concentrated drawing; I calmly move near her and see what it looks to be a prototype for a diamond and ruby necklace, very elaborated and luxurious, something that could easily be worn by a queen.
I leave a kiss on her cheek, startling her and making her laugh.
I rest my head on her shoulder and watch as she puts the finishing touches to her necklace.
As soon as she’s finished, she raises the leaf in the air, giving me a better angle from which to assess the masterpiece.
“Perfect, like always, Grannie, worthy of a queen!” She smiles and kisses me on the head, looking back at her drawing.
“I presume it’s good, but it’s not appropriate for someone your age; I want to try and design a younger line, simpler maybe, but I don’t know if ruby is the best choice of gemstone!
” I nod, understanding what she’s saying; I go to the safe and insert the code under Grannie’s watchful eyes, remove the small box that has the samples of all gemstones used for the jewelry on the family’s jewelry store.
I take it to the desk and get a chair to seat next to Grannie, open the box, and grin with the beauties that are found inside.
I observe silently the stones in front of me and get some paper and a pencil, sloppy making a draft of a simple necklace with a gemstone in the middle and two tiny diamonds around it.
“It’s beautiful, my love, but what stone would be in the middle piece?” I take a look at the drawing that I just made and at the box, smirk with an idea, and turn to an expectant grandmother with that idea.
“What about an opal?” I reply, wanting for her reaction; she immediately smiles and signals for me to continue.
“It’s a beautiful gem; it’s not nearly as used as it should be, and when you look at it closely, it looks like the sky is reflected on it.
I don’t know if it’s a good idea, but I really think it’s a very pretty gem! ”
“It’s a wonderful idea; it’s a different kind of gem that goes well with a more modern line; it’s going to look amazing, my love! You have a gift, Chiara, never doubt it; you’ll be an amazing designer; jewelry, clothes or shoes, whatever you want, I’m sure it will be incredible.”