Chapter 21
The rest of the weekend I spend in my room. Angry. Sad. Consumed with thoughts of Axl with that other girl.
How could he do this to me? He said he loved me. He said he wanted a life with me. We had plans. And then, in an instant, it’s over.
Now I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’ll graduate and then what? Go back to New York? I can’t afford a place there by myself. I’d have to find some roommates, but even if I did, do I really want to be there? In the city where my mom died? The city filled with memories of Axl and me?
“Rumor, we’re going to dinner,” Brock says through my door. “Would you like to come along?”
“No,” I yell so he’ll hear me.
The door, which I thought was locked, swings open. Brock walks in and frowns when he sees me still in bed.
“Rumor, you can’t stay in here forever. You have school tomorrow.”
I turn away from him and pull the covers over me.
“Hey.” He sits beside me on the bed. “I know it’s tough when a relationship ends but it’s usually a sign the person wasn’t right for you.”
He’s giving me relationship advice? Is he serious? With his cheating and two failed marriages, he’s the last person I’d take advice from.
“Could you leave me alone, please?”
“You sure you don’t want to go to dinner?
It’s a tradition we used to have when the boys were younger.
We’d take them to dinner before the first day of school.
” He laughs a little. “Their mother would throw a little party with cake and ice cream, and she’d give them each a small gift.
She thought it’d help them feel better about going to school. ”
“She sounds like a good mom,” I say in a quiet voice.
“She was,” he says, his voice trailing off. The bed moves as he gets up. “Last chance. I’d really like you to join us.”
“I’d rather stay here.”
“Okay, then. We’ll be back in an hour or so.” He walks to the door. “If you’d like to order something in, the takeout menus are in a drawer in the kitchen.”
He leaves and shuts the door. Moments later, I hear the music from upstairs turn off and the loud footsteps of Braden and Trystan coming down the stairs. When they’re gone, and the house is finally quiet, I adjust my pillow and try to sleep.
A few minutes later, my phone rings. I bolt up and grab it from the nightstand, thinking it might be Axl begging for my forgiveness.
Begging me to take him back. I know it’s wrong to wish for that, especially knowing he cheated and lied to me, but he’s all I know.
My first love. The guy I thought I’d be with forever.
It’s hard to just let go of that dream, even if it was never meant to be.
But it’s not Axl calling. My phone says Burt on the screen, which is the secret code name I gave Jackson in case someone sees my phone when he calls. Burt is short for burrito, which is what we ate when he first took me out to that green metal taco shack.
“Hey, Burt,” I say, sitting up.
“Hey, Trudy,” he says with a smile in his voice. Trudy is my secret name. It came from “intruder”, which is what he claims I was when I showed up behind his property. “How are you feeling?”
“Shitty.”
I called Jackson Saturday night and told him what happened. He’d just got home from football practice and needed to shower and eat, but he stayed on the phone with me for two whole hours. He wanted me to come over, but I didn’t have the energy to leave my room. I still don’t.
This morning, I woke up to a string of texts from Jackson, mostly pictures of animals doing funny things in an attempt to make me laugh.
I didn’t laugh, but I did at least smile, which I didn’t think was possible given how I feel.
At noon, he called to check on me and offered to hire someone in New York to go punch Axl for me. It was tempting, but I told him no.
“You gotta get out of that bed,” he says.
“Don’t feel like it.”
“If you don’t, I’m going to come over there and drag you out.”
“Aren’t you at practice?”
“Got home an hour ago. You’re alone, right?”
“Yeah. They all went to dinner. How’d you know?”
“I saw them leaving. I need you to open the door.”
“What?”
“Get out of bed and unlock the door.”
There’s a tapping noise on the sliding glass door that leads to the patio.
“What the hell?” I look at the slider, which is covered by a white curtain. “You’re here?”
“Thought I’d pay you a visit since you refuse to come see me.”
Smiling, I jump from my bed and run to the slider, shoving the curtain back. Jackson is there, looking hot as ever in gym shorts and a muscle tank, holding a pizza box and a six-pack of soda.
I unlock the slider and yank it open. “You brought dinner?”
“Had to. You haven’t eaten in over a day. And it’s a holiday. You can’t be alone on a holiday.”
“It’s Labor Day. It’s not much of a holiday.”
“Still. I didn’t want you being alone.”
Taking the pizza, I set it on the table, then run back and hug him. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.” He hugs me back, and I get a whiff of his intoxicating scent, a combo of masculine musk and woodsy cologne.
“I can’t believe you’re here!” I say, letting him go.
“I needed to see you.”
“You did?” I say, already feeling better just having him here.
I don’t know what it is about him but he’s the only person I’ve met here that makes me feel like I’m not in some strange foreign land where nobody wants me.
He makes me feel like I’m home, with someone who knows me and cares that I exist and checks on me when I’m not doing well. Even Axl didn’t do that.
Jackson hands me a soda. “Want to eat by the pool?”
“We can’t. The cameras.” I jerk back in a panic. “The cameras! They recorded you!”
“Relax. I have a buddy who works at the security place. He’ll go in and make me disappear.”
“He can do that? How?”
“He’ll cut that part out and replace it with video showing nobody’s there.”
I eye him suspiciously. “How do you know this guy?”
“He goes to my school. He’s done this before, not for me but other people. He probably shouldn’t be working at a security company but so far, he’s managed to not get fired.”
Taking the pizza box, I sit on the floor. “Come sit down.”
He sits across from me, and I feel him staring at me as I open the pizza box. I’m sure I look awful after spending over a day in bed, crying. My hair’s a mess. My makeup’s smeared. And I’m guessing I stink since I haven’t showered.
“So what have you been up to?” I ask, taking a slice of pizza. I didn’t think I was hungry, but the smell of pizza has my stomach growling.
“I’ve mainly been at the gym or at practice.” He smiles. “And waiting around for Trudy to come over.”
I smile back. “You haven’t been waiting for me.”
“I have.” He takes a slice of pizza from the box. “I got used to you stopping over.”
“Are you saying you missed me?” I ask in a tone that sounds flirty. Why did it come out that way?
“I did,” he says, matter-of-factly, before biting into his pizza. “You’re starting to grow on me.”
“Like a fungus?” I joke.
“Kind of. You try to get rid of it. It keeps showing up.”
I reach over and shove his shoulder. “You’re mean.”
“I’m kidding.” He sets his pizza down. “I actually really did miss you.”
“You must have. You went to a lot of work to see me. Even had to break the law.”
“Tampering with a camera isn’t really breaking a law.” He shrugs. “Or maybe it is, but I don’t care. I needed to see you. Make sure you’re okay. So are you?”
I look down. “No.”
“The guy was an ass. You know that, right?”
I nod. “Still hurts.”
“I know. But it’ll get better. I promise.”
My eyes lift to his. “Doesn’t feel like it will.”
“You don’t feel better than yesterday?”
“I do now. I didn’t this morning.”
“It’s the pizza.” He finishes his slice. “Pizza fixes everything.”
“Or maybe it was the guy who brought it.” I don’t know why I said that, but I did, and now my heart’s beating out of my chest. I just admitted I like him. A guy who already has a girlfriend. I’m no better than the bitch who took Axl from me.
“Sorry,” I say, looking down at the pizza. “I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Why?”
When I don’t answer, he shoves the pizza aside and scoots closer to me.
“Rumor, what are you trying to tell me?”
“Nothing. Just forget it.”
He lifts my chin up to look at him. “It didn’t sound like nothing.”
I push his hand off my face and look to the side. “You have a girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend. How many times do I have to tell you that?”
“She stays at your place. You . . . do stuff with her. You may not call her a girlfriend but you’re in a relationship with her. And I’m not going to come in and ruin it the way Axl and that girl did to me. I’m not going to hurt someone like that, not after knowing how it feels.”
“It’s not a relationship. Kristen and I are friends.”
I look at him. “I saw you, remember? That night I was behind your house?”
“That was then. This is now.”
“Meaning what?”
“Meaning that ended. We don’t do that anymore.”
“Do what? Have sex?”
“Sex. Kiss. Any of that. I told her I’m not doing it anymore.”
“So you admit you were in a relationship?”
“That’s not what it was.” He sighs and sits back on his hands. “I didn’t want to get involved with anyone and neither did she. So we had an agreement. No strings.”
“Friends with benefits.”
“I guess you could call it that.”
“So why’d you end it?”
“The agreement was we’d end it if we found someone.”
“Kristen’s dating someone?”
“I think so, but she wouldn’t confirm it.”
“But she still wanted to end your agreement?”
“She didn’t. I did.”
“Oh,” I say, disappointed he has someone else. Not that I’m looking to get in a relationship again, but if I were, I’d want it to be with Jackson more than anyone else. “So who is she?”
He leans forward. “Tiny brunette. Beautiful smile. Tight little body. Doesn’t take shit from anyone, except her loser boyfriend but he’s history.”
I slowly smile, my heart taking off again.
“Her name’s Trudy but she goes by something else. I can’t remember. It’s kind of an odd name.”
“It’s not odd!” I say, laughing as I smack him.