Chapter 21 #2
“She also hits really hard when she’s mad,” he continues. “Or maybe that’s some kind of foreplay. I don’t know her well enough to tell.”
I feel my face heating up. Did he really just reference foreplay? Has he been thinking about that with me? I might have thought the same thing about him, but it was in a dream. I can’t control my dreams.
“You can’t go out with Trudy,” I say, my rational side taking over. “She’s off limits.”
“Far as I know she’s single.”
“Single but still forbidden. I heard her cousins have this major feud going on with you.”
“I don’t give a shit about her cousins. I’ve taken them on before. I can do it again.”
“Why would you want to? Seems like a lot of trouble for some girl.”
His eyes lock on mine. “I like trouble. I seem to attract it. And if I want something, I go after it. I don’t let people stand in my way, especially spoiled immature assholes with overinflated egos.”
“Maybe Trudy isn’t ready for another relationship.”
“Then we’ll take it slow.” He moves closer to me, his hand curving around the side of my face. “We’ll take it as slow as she wants.”
He leans closer. My heart’s pounding as I close my eyes, waiting for it. Wanting it.
His lips brush gently over mine, and I feel his warm breath right before he kisses me. The kiss is slow. Sexy. His tongue teasing my mouth in a way that sends a rush of pleasure through me.
It’s a type of kiss I’ve never had. Axl didn’t kiss like this. His kisses were fast and hard, his tongue pushing its way in and thrashing around my mouth. He’s the first and only guy I’ve ever kissed. I thought all kisses were like that.
Now I know what I’ve been missing. I grab hold of Jackson’s shirt and sink back on the floor, pulling him toward me as we continue to kiss. I tug harder on his shirt, urging him to get closer, but he resists.
His lips break from mine, and I open my eyes. He’s looking at me like he’s thinking we should stop. But I’m not ready to. I want more. More kisses and just . . . more.
As we look in each other’s eyes, I feel a connection like I’ve never felt. Not just with Axl but with anyone. A feeling that whatever this is, it’s right. This person is someone I was supposed to meet, as if all the moments up until now were somehow leading me to this place. And to Jackson.
He pauses a moment, then his body sinks into mine as he kisses me. I press my hips up, wanting to feel him. Wanting more.
He breaks from the kiss and whispers, “Rumor, we—” He stops himself and looks down.
“I know.” I take a breath. “I just didn’t want it to end.”
He moves off me and sits back against the bed, offering me his hand. “Come here.”
Taking his hand, I rise up, then feel him turning me so my back’s to him. His muscular arms wrap around me, holding me against his chest.
“Why’d you stop?” I softly ask.
“Because I had to.” His warm hand runs up and down my arm. “You’re upset. Hurting. This isn’t the right time.”
“But I wanted you to keep going,” I say, turning to look at him.
“I know.” He kisses my forehead. “But I don’t want to start this when you’re still getting over him. It’ll ruin it.”
I lean back into his chest. “Then why did you kiss me?”
“It wasn’t something I thought about. I just did it. Because I wanted to, so fucking bad.”
My lips curve up. “You did?”
“Since the day you ran into me.”
I laugh. “You remember that? You ran off so fast I didn’t even think you saw me.”
“I saw you when I was running toward you. I was trying to figure out who you were. If I’d seen you before.”
“And you wanted to kiss me? Without even knowing me?”
“I thought you were gorgeous. What guy doesn’t want to kiss a gorgeous girl?”
“When I saw you that day, I thought you were an actor.”
“Why?” he says with a laugh.
“You’re too hot to be a regular guy. And I was right. You are an actor.”
“Was. A long time ago. And believe me, I didn’t look like this.”
“What’d you look like?”
“I was a kid. Baby face, skinny legs, skinny arms.”
I turn and smile at him. “I bet you were cute.”
“That’s what I was told but you can’t trust people in Hollywood. They all lie.”
Sinking into his arms, my eyes catch on the wastebasket where I tossed out all my stuff from Axl.
Just days ago, those photos and cards meant everything to me.
But now they feel like lies. I’m not even sure Axl loved me.
He never held me the way Jackson is right now.
He didn’t comfort me the way Jackson does.
He didn’t talk to me when I needed to talk. He wouldn’t even listen.
How is it possible that Jackson, a guy I just met, treats me better than the guy I was planning to be with forever?
“He didn’t love me,” I say, a tear running down my face.
Jackson sighs. “I’m sorry.”
“You knew, didn’t you?”
“From the things you told me?” He pauses. “Yeah. I knew.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“You wouldn’t have believed me. You needed to figure it out yourself.”
“I feel so alone now. My mom is gone. Axl’s gone. All I have left is my dad and I don’t know where he is.”
“Would it help if you found him?”
“It might. At least I’d feel like I have someone left. He’s not the greatest dad but he’s not horrible. He’s better than Brock.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
I turn to face him. “What do you mean?”
“I’ll see if I can find out where he is.”
“You can’t. Those places are serious about privacy. They won’t tell anyone who’s staying there.”
“I have ways of finding out.”
“How? I’m telling you, those places are really strict with the rules.”
“You give someone enough money, you can get around the rules.”
A loud noise comes from somewhere in the house, and I scramble to get up. “They’re home!”
“Fuck!” He jumps to his feet. “See ya.”
“Wait, you’re just walking out the back?”
“There’s no other way out.” He grabs my face, kisses me, then smiles. “Maybe you could sneak down later.”
He leaves, and when I look out at the patio, I don’t even see him. He’s fast. I bet he’s almost home by now.
There’s a knock on my door. “Rumor?”
It sounds like Maria. “Yeah, just a minute.” I race to the door and open it. “You’re working on a holiday?”
“Just picking up the dry cleaning. Do you have anything?”
“No.”
She stares at me, smiling. “Did you just get off the phone with your boyfriend?”
“We’re not together anymore,” I say, realizing that’s the first time I’ve said that without crying. “Didn’t Shayla tell you? I texted her last night.”
“She didn’t mention it.” Maria pulls me into a hug. “I’m sorry, honey.”
“Thanks,” I say as she lets me go.
“You doing okay?”
“Actually, yeah. I’m feeling a lot better now.”
I’m not going to tell her Jackson is the reason I’m feeling better. I’m not going to tell Shayla either until I’m sure I can trust her.
“Good for you,” Maria says. “I always tell my daughter not to cry over some boy. They’re not worth your tears.”
“And does she believe you?”
“Of course not,” she says, tossing up her hands. “She never listens to her mother.” She pats my shoulder. “Don’t worry. You’ll find someone else. Someone better.”
I already have, but I don’t know how I can be with him and keep it hidden. Trystan’s watching my every move. Braden’s suspicious of me. And I’m not sure Maria would keep quiet if she found out.
I’m still going to do it. I like Jackson. I want to try dating him. If I get caught, what’s the worst that could happen?