21. Call Him
CALL HIM
ANDERS
“Tonton,” Manuela squeals in excitement, popping into frame.
“Happy birthday, big girl,” I grin. “I can’t believe you’re five.”
“Thank you,” she says dramatically, flipping her hair to show off her freshly-pierced ears.
Her two older sisters both have dark blonde hair like Luca and I, but Manu popped out having the most gorgeous golden blonde hair just like Emelie.
Hair is probably the only striking resemblance she has to Emelie, though.
Luca swears all the time that Manu looks exactly like I did when I was her age.
It’s a bittersweet thing. I love my nieces so much, but watching them grow up has always felt like watching a life that should’ve been mine.
They have two parents and a loving, stable home.
I was raised by a twenty year old professional hockey player who brought me home from the courthouse without realizing I had never been potty trained.
“Titi,” Luca corrects her. He explains to her in Portuguese that I don’t speak French—an absolute lie, but Luca and Emelie do the whole speaking to the kids in different languages thing because they saw a video about it on Facebook when Laura was a baby.
Manuela probably speaks Portuguese more fluently than I can.
Half-Argentinian and half-Brazilian, but I don’t speak a lick of Spanish and I can barely grasp Portuguese.
“Your earrings are so beautiful,” I murmur, tugging on my earlobe. “Maybe I need some pink ones too.”
She shrugs. “Yeah. They’re my favorite.”
My conversation with my niece lasts about ten more seconds before she runs off and finds something more interesting to occupy her time.
Luca sighs, giving me a funny look. “You know, I’m not the only one who’s concerned.”
“Concerned?” I laugh.
“About you.” He readjusts his phone a little so he can slink back against his chair. “Parker called me. Said you’re barely speaking to him.”
Oh I bet he did…
“I haven’t,” I mutter. “But it’s because he’s been giving me the silent treatment.” My stomach twists when the thought hits me that maybe Luca knows more than he’s letting on. I mean—Parker is his best friend. Why the hell is Parker just now telling him about giving me the cold shoulder?
Luca doesn’t seem to notice the shift in my tone. “Yeah.”
“He’s been giving me the silent treatment for over a month now,” I add. “You wouldn’t…happen to have a doing in that, would you?”
I hear Luca pause, letting out a deep, conceited sigh.
That’s enough of an admission of guilt for me.
My pulse stutters hard enough to make me nauseous, because for one horrible second, it gives me the validation I needed.
If Luca noticed something, then that means this isn’t only in my head.
“What the hell did you say to him?” I ask with conviction.
“You’re too young for him, mano,” Luca tells me like it’s obvious. “And he knows that. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you two to be that close.”
I scoff. “Oh, so you think we’re fucking?”
“No,” he blurts. “No, Anders. I don’t think you and Parker are sleeping with each other.”
“Okay, then why are you telling him to ignore me? Are you jealous or something?”
“I just reminded him how important you are.”
I roll my eyes and my jaw tightens instantly. Frustration slowly creeps inside me, clouding my head. “I’m not a child.”
“You’re my child,” my brother retorts, leaning forward in the frame. “So I will do whatever it takes to make sure you’re being taken care of, and if you have a problem with that, then I guess you’re gonna have to get over it.”
Luca plays the you’re my child card like it’s a Hail Mary.
It’s not often he says it, but when he does, it always seems to shut me up.
But this isn’t just a normal argument. This is my brother getting in the way of something that isn’t any of his business, and he’s acting like he doesn’t have any faith in me.
An annoyed scoff leaves my mouth. “Stop.”
“I need you to understand—”
“Oh my God, Luca. You’re pissing me off.” My hands curl into fists before I notice, while something mean and ugly twists in my chest. “You know what? I’ll talk to you later,” I say sharply before abruptly ending the call.
This is what he does. He has this incessant fucking need to control every little aspect of my life and it drives me fucking crazy.
More than anything, this just confirms what I’ve been sitting on for the last couple of weeks.
Parker didn’t push me away because he was worried about boundaries.
He pushed me away because he cares too much about what my brother thinks.
Even if that means dragging me through the mud like a fucking idiot.
“So he told Parker to stay away from you and now your life is over?” Lee mutters.
“Yeah,” I sigh. “And now he has to die.”
“Luca or Parker?”
I look over to them with a hardened look. “Double homicide.”
Lee’s mouth pulls into a smirk. “Didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Murder?”
They shake their head. “Getting over your weird little Parker obsession. I was starting to think you needed an intervention.”
My stomach churns at the thought of that.
The fact that my friends have noticed how hard of a toll this has taken on me makes me feel even more pathetic. I can’t believe I gave this man so much power over me. Like, I’m genuinely crazy. That’s the only explanation.
Right as I start the blender, the front door unlocks.
Every muscle in my shoulders goes tight.
I’m literally standing here fully raging over this man, but the moment I actually see him, my body betrays me and freaks the fuck out.
How the hell am I supposed to get over him when I still automatically gravitate towards him?
What a fucking dumbass.
Despite myself, my lungs stop working when I finally lock eyes with him. At least he looks just as miserable as I do. Exhausted from travel, no doubt. He’s got his hat on backwards and the growing hair on his face is just begging to be shaved off.
I hate that I notice things like that almost automatically.
“Hey,” he says, but I can’t hear him over the loud blender. I nod in acknowledgement, expecting him to leave, but he doesn’t. Parker never lingers when I have friends over. I glance over to Lee, who has a shit-eating grin on their face.
As soon as the blender stops, Parker opens his mouth to speak again, but I hit the blend button again to drown out his voice. He gives me a look that only further shows his frustration, huffing and letting his gym bag drop to the ground.
The look he gives me afterward almost makes it worth it. I can’t tell if he wants to rip me a new one or just rip me apart.
He walks into his office and closes the door behind him.
“Jeez,” Lee murmurs beneath their breath. “You’re cooked.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and throw by head back. “I think I might have to move out.” Hearing the words come out of me is a whole other problem on its own. I don’t want to move out. Financial reasons mostly, but also because I’ve just gotten so used to living here with him.
Until recently, I’ve genuinely enjoyed living here with him.
“Anders, come here a minute,” Parker calls out from his office.
“You have got to be kidding me,” I groan, rolling my eyes. “Let’s take our smoothies to go,” I suggest. “Get the fuck outta here.”
Lee chuckles. “You’re running away from your problems.”
“No I’m not. I just refuse to take any of his bullshit.”
Parker pops his head out of his office, clearing his throat. “Anderson.”
Fuck. He used his sexy authority voice. That always fucking works on me.
“Government name,” Lee teases, slapping the counter. “My cue to leave.”
“Nooo. I hate you,” I groan, following them as they grab their things and walk towards the front door.
“See you tonight, Andy,” they smirk, closing the front door behind them.
I squeeze my eyes shut again, blocking out the ringing in my ears.
I can feel him staring at me from behind and it’s paralyzing.
“I know you’re staring,” I mutter. When I turn around, he’s leaning against the doorframe, watching with a smug, patient look on his face.
I click my tongue, ignoring him as I walk right past him.
My heart is beating faster than I can comprehend, my body being at war with itself.
Half of me wants to chew him out while the other half just wants to give him a show of blowing him off the way he did to me.
“I need to talk to you,” he tells me firmly.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
Parker follows me up the stairs. “Anders.”
It suddenly feels like he’s breathing right down my neck. I turn around and glare. “What?”
“Your family is worried.”
While he’s been ignoring me, he’s still talking to my brother and Em like there’s no problem. I can’t fucking believe him. Why the hell haven’t I realized this sooner?
“I’m fine,” I scoff. “It’s just a headache.”
“A headache?” he laughs dryly. “Is that it? A month-long headache?”
“Yep,” I lie, popping the “p.”
Parker doesn’t take whatever bait I’m dishing up to him. He just huffs and shakes his head. “Then tell them,” he snaps. “Don’t make this my problem.”
Something cold hollows out my chest. It takes me back to when I was younger.
An argument with Luca that ends in him telling me I’m lucky he even saved me from my father.
A night spent with Luca passive-aggressively camping outside my door because I cried and told him he’s never home and made him feel bad about it.
The one time he dropped me off at my Aunt Jen’s and I didn’t see him again for two whole days. I don’t even remember why he did it.
So now I’m a problem, like I’m some unstable fucking situation Parker got stuck managing.
Fine. If he wants to talk, then I’ll fucking talk.
I let out a cold laugh, marching back down the stairs. “You’re the one who’s making this a problem. Don’t act like this is coming out of nowhere. You don’t get to disappear for a month and act like I’m crazy for reacting to it.”