Chapter 14
Chapter Fourteen
Giovanna
I dropped the heavy fork from my hand and down onto the expensive plate my dinner had been served on. Surprisingly, the plate didn’t crack. All that happened was it made two of our servants jump out of their skins. I smiled at them both offering my silent apologies. The noise it made showed just how angry I felt at the crazy situation I had been forced into, but it wasn’t their fault. I seriously needed to keep my emotions in check. Looking across and down the large, empty mahogany table only I was sat at, I let out a loud sigh.
Keep up appearances.
That was the instruction my still ailing mama had insisted on, as she cried in pain and once again collapsed to lie on the day bed, after pretending that for the sake of her family she would alight from her room. My papa had at least answered truthfully when I knocked on his door earlier that day.
“Unless you have what I need, you can fuck off.”
Who exactly was I keeping up appearances for?
The staff who worked for us were aware of what had happened and what was going on. But, like the dutiful daughter, I had done her bidding when I wanted to do so very much more. With Nonno being cared for by his nursing team in the privacy of his rooms and my papa locked away until Salvatore felt his alcohol consumption was under control, it had been left to me, and me alone, to sit at the table like we had done most evenings since I was a child.
So, here I was against my better judgement. Pretending that everything was just wonderful, when of course it was anything but.
Mia was still lying unconscious in hospital, and Gabriel, as a son of the De Lucas had done his duty and sat by her bedside, until it was time to start his endless day again.
Salvatore came home for less than an hour at a time and, apart from when I insisted I needed five minutes of his time, he disappeared into our grandfather’s rooms and left as quickly as he could. Romeo only appeared when he needed a few hours’ sleep, a shower, clean clothes and to eat whatever the kitchen had on offer, which I knew was always a fair amount, as this family I belonged to had been embroiled in many a war in the centuries they had lived on the land beneath our home and were well practised at feeding and caring for its fighting men.
But me, I wasn’t allowed to care for anyone. I wasn’t allowed to visit anyone and even when I’d asked again to be given leave to visit Mia, I’d seen Salvatore’s refusal in his eyes before it had even made his lips.
It was dangerous.
They didn’t need me at the hospital, I might be in the way.
He couldn’t spare the additional men “my trip out” would need.
No, all I was allowed to do was to wander the grounds under my bodyguard’s watchful eye and dress for a dinner no one was at home to share with me. Whereas, I could have made my own and taken it to my room, which would have made a lot less fuss. I hadn’t even the heart to sit at my piano. Instead, I’d looked from one end of the long gallery my grandfather had placed it in and then turned away, when normally the beautiful grand piano my grandfather had gifted, called to me like a siren does to those at sea.
I took my phone, moved the screen, and looked for any notifications for possibly the thousandth time today, and finding nothing I then checked it once again. I hadn’t heard from Dante since lunchtime. This was adding to my restlessness, which was fast becoming anger at my absurd situation.
Is he okay?
God forbid he’d been hurt. I could only imagine how long that information would take to filter through to me. He could be seriously wounded and die before I’d found out.
Picking up the starched linen napkin and scrunching its flawlessness with both of my hands, I exhaled as quietly as I could, trying to release some of my pent-up frustration. After effectively destroying the predetermined creases, I dabbed at the corners of my mouth before throwing it down onto the plate in front of me. Then, lifting my large water glass to my mouth, I watched as the once pristine, white fabric soaked in the red concentrato sauce my vegetables had been served in.
The napkin felt like my life.
I was trying so hard not to be dramatic, but I felt as though my life’s blood was being sucked from my body. I understood everyone had their own roles in the situation we had been thrust into. I even appreciated that my family loved me and wanted to keep me safe. But surely, I had more to offer than “keeping up appearances”?
‘This is ridiculous.’ I said the words quietly, not wanting to upset the two servants in the ostentatious room my mama had decorated.
‘Was everything okay with your meal?’ the housekeeper questioned from behind me.
‘Absolutely,’ I answered with a smile, ‘the food, as always, was magnifico. Thank you.’
‘Grazie, Signorina.’
I moved away from the table and made my way to the door leading to the stairs that would lead me up to my bedroom. At the foot of the stairs, I paused and did the same thing I’d done every time I’d passed the same spot over the past few days. I halted and turned my head towards the entrance to my grandfather’s rooms. Placing my fingers to my lips, I kissed them lightly and then blew my love to him. Tears began to blur my eyes as I put my feet on the bottom step, and once again I forced them away. Suddenly, movement in my peripheral vision made me falter and determinedly I turn my head.
Salvatore appeared through the door, which was being held open by Ricco, my nonno’s right hand man. Ricco, my bodyguard Lorenzo’s uncle. The same bodyguard I knew was reporting back my every movement.
‘Gi.’ Salvatore gave a half smile when he saw me. It wasn’t the normal smile he would greet me with, and I cursed the circumstances we had been placed under. If I hadn’t known before, I was certain then that he would have been more than happy to escape the confines of our family home without encountering me. Whereas, only a week before, he would have actively sought me out above all the others. That thought only added to my sadness.
‘Salvatore.’ I smiled weakly at him, unable to offer him more.
I saw the second he read my emotions, and it was then I comprehended that it was his hardness as well as his empathy that would make him a great Don, one who would step into the large shoes our grandfather was almost certainly going to leave behind him. My papa would never have come up to the mark. Gulping down a sob at that thought, made an incoherent noise leave my mouth. Salvatore’s large, dogged strides brought him next to me in seconds.
Against what my anger demanded, my feet turned until I was facing him. When he opened his arms to silently comfort me, I leapt off the bottom step and eagerly accepted the invitation.
‘Giovanna,’ he whispered to me, like he was talking to a small child, as he brushed a hand gently over the back of my head.
‘Have you found him?’ I questioned hopefully.
‘No.’ He said the single word with disgust. This was his first trial as the future head of the family and because of it, I had some idea of how much pressure he was under. And my brother was a man who, because of his history, needed to keep the women in his family safe from harm. ‘I understand how what I’m requesting is hard for you.’
‘It’s hard for all of us… Including you. I see how you nearly always put yourself behind what others need.’ I stepped back, feeling him stiffen, and out of his hold. ‘But it has to be said, I feel totally useless here.’
‘Here, you are safe.’
‘Unlike my brothers,’ I added.
‘We’re all doing what we were born to do. We will see this through.’ He nodded at me, trying to push his point across. ‘And while there is the slightest chance you could be in danger, you will remain here where you’re safe.’
‘ Safe … Is this rule only for me?’ I saw his eyebrow lift at my tone, which was being stoked up by the anger I seemed to continuously feel.
‘I’m not going over this again.’ He moved instinctively to the side to let me know without words that he was about to leave.
‘Even my sister-in-law, your wife, is allowed more freedom than I am. Surely, hers is a bigger scalp than mine?’
I heard myself, and I wasn’t proud.
‘Giovanna.’ His voice grew in force and his tone reprimanded me with one word.
‘I know.’ I held up my hands. ‘I’m sorry, I take that back. I’m not wishing anything on her. I want her well and unharmed. I also understand that Serafina is a doctor and it’s only fitting she cares for her sister.’
‘Exactly that.’
‘I bet you wish you hadn’t come across me today?’ I hung my head in shame.
‘I would never wish that.’ Salvatore turned to face me and once again his arms opened wide. Willingly, I moved back into them and accepted the comfort he was offering.
‘How did you find Nonno today?’ I changed the subject to one that was closer to my heart than the anger I was dealing with.
‘He is fading fast,’ he admitted. ‘I think he is only hanging on until we get our revenge for Mia, and then he will let go.’
‘I wish I could see him.’
‘His wishes stand, bella. You have no need of watching him turn more skeletal as each day passes.’ I could hear the pain in his words. ‘He wants you to remember him as the first man who ever loved you, the first one who held you in his strong arms. Not the shell of the man that’s being left behind.’
‘Please tell him I love him.’
‘I will… although, that isn’t something you need to say. He has never been in any doubt of your love.’ Salvatore looked down at me and using his thumb and forefinger moved a long tendril of my hair to the side of my face. ‘And nor have I, and that’s a beautiful gift you have, Gi. The ability to see love where others can’t.’
‘Is it wrong to want this over, and not, at the same time?’
‘I’m not a man who has a lot of experience with feelings, Gi. You know that. But for someone as beautiful inside as you, I would think it’s very normal. I do however understand about loss. Losing someone is hard. You’ve never lost anyone before, have you?’
‘Well, my mama is lost to her “nervous state” and to the prescription medication she downs like they’re candy, and our papa,’ I watched him bristle as I spoke, ‘as you know alcohol is now his keeper… I’ve lost them in a way.’ I shrugged my shoulders.
‘You have—but death, it’s knell is final.’ I could see in his eyes that he was speaking about the loss of his own mama, when he was a small boy. ‘You must come to terms with the fact you will never see them again. Never share anything with them again. That sort of grief is hard to bear. You need to be kind to yourself and remember all you’ve lived through and shared together.’
‘I think there’s something wrong with me.’ I shook my head at my admission. ‘I just want to run away from it all.’
‘There is nothing wrong with you,’ he urged. ‘But you need to reconcile with yourself that running away is not the De Luca way, Gi.’
‘But what of my way?’ I insisted.
Salvatore brought me back into his mammoth arms and squeezed me tight. ‘There is no difference. This is our blood. This is who we are.’
I met his gaze with my own and was convinced he could see the many questions still swirling around inside my head.
‘I do have some good news. Mia is being brought home today.’ He changed the subject, effectively placing a full stop on me voicing those questions.
‘She is?’ I could feel the excitement building up inside me.
‘Yes. Gabriel and her brothers are escorting her home now.’
‘They are?’ I could hear the childlike glee in my tone.
That’s where he is.
‘Is she well enough to come home?’
‘We took medical advice, but in the end, I made the decision.’
I heard that when they’d first found Mia, they’d rushed with her to the hospital. Scans had revealed that she’d received a blow to the back of her head, probably from the rock her brothers had found her up against.
‘Is she still unconscious?’
‘She is. But after doing various tests, the consultants there aren’t overly concerned, as the tests showed that she has no obvious damage or bleeding to the brain. They think that after receiving the blow, she fell unconscious, and then slipped into a coma. She just needs time.’
I lifted a hand to cover my mouth, at the knowledge of the pain she had suffered. For the first time in days, I was being spoken to like an adult.
‘The past two days, she’s shown signs of brain activity, her eyelids have fluttered a few times and Mrs Giordano swears she saw her lift her right index finger momentarily.’
‘Oh, that’s good… It is good isn’t it, Salvatore?’ All I could think of was my friend, Mia, and how she didn’t deserve what had happened to her. Then my brother Gabriel and how happy he had to feel to be getting her back. And last, but very much not least, my heart was full to think of how Dante must be feeling at getting his sister home.
‘I think so, as does Serafina. Mia’s vital signs are stable. The consultants are happy she will eventually wake up. At home we can keep her safe until that happens.’
‘Safe,’ I repeated. There was that word again.
‘Yes, Gi, safe. Because when she does wake up, what we must deal with is the fact she has scarring to her face and was very likely sexually assaulted.’
I couldn’t help the small gasp that left me and the queasy stomach I could now feel at the thought of what had happened to her.
‘Now perhaps you can understand why I require you to stay home, where you’re safe ?’ He bent down and placed a kiss to both of my cheeks.
‘Perhaps if you’d have told me all of this before, instead of treating me like a child, I would have,’ I replied assertively, as I stepped back.
‘You are our baby sister, Gi. We want to protect you.’
‘I understand, but I could be married with babies of my own by now. I want to be treated as the adult I am, especially by my brothers.’
Salvatore wasn’t a man to be questioned, and I could see him stand taller at my accusation. His eyes hardened and with the whole of his body tensing in front of me, he managed to nod just the once.
‘Ciao, bella.’
Then he turned on his heel and began to walk away.
‘I’d like to see Mia.’ I called after him.
Without turning around he called out, ‘My instructions still stand. You are to stay here where you are…’
‘I KNOW!’ I shouted back at him. ‘WHERE I’M SAFE!’
I knew he’d heard me. The whole house would have heard me, but Salvatore didn’t break his stride and nor did he reply. He disappeared out of the main door, and I heard him shouting at someone outside. Lorenzo appeared in his wake, looking less than happy with the fact he’d taken the brunt of my older brother’s anger.
I turned and took the stairs as quick as I could, trying to reach the sanctuary of my room. As soon as I heard feet behind me, I too confronted Lorenzo.
‘Don’t follow me. I’m going to my room.’
It made no difference. The faster I covered the distance needed, the quicker his heavy steps sounded behind me.
Finally reaching my room, I slammed the door shut behind me and slithered down the cool wood to the floor. There I sat. I wasn’t going to cry. I wasn’t going to cause a fuss, like the child they still thought of me as.
What I was going to do, was to get out.