39. Chapter Thirty-Nine
Chapter thirty-nine
Zenn wasn't joking when he said the hike would be steep.
I'm out of breath most of the way after not training for a week.
He pauses to pull out our waterskins, insisting I drink.
The air is getting that thin feeling to it, so I gulp down a few mouthfuls of the mint-infused liquid even as I roll my eyes at the fussing.
"Feel like telling me where we're going yet, or are we climbing until we hit stars? " I ask, handing the water back to him.
"Well, smartass, I was about to tell you, since we're almost there. Now I think I'll make you wait and see for yourself." He shakes the snow from his hair and starts up the path again. I grumble quietly, knowing any protests will only serve to entertain him, so I save my breath for the climb.
An hour later, I'm glad he didn't attempt to describe this view, because there's no way he would've done it justice.
At the far edge of the plateau we just crossed, as we look out over hazy purple mountain peaks and the lush forest far below, I spot a sunken rockpool with turquoise water.
A ripple of smooth, cream limestone skirts the pool, dipping under the surface to form natural ridges, some wide enough to look like bench seats.
It’s surrounded by softly curving snowy slopes and white-dusted trees reflected in crystalline waters that would be completely still if it wasn't for a slow trickle of water flowing down a wall of dark rock from the peak above. "Oh, it's so beautiful," I say.
“It really is,” Zenn murmurs, eyes fixed on me as he drops his bag and comes to stand at my side, close enough that our arms graze. "I spotted it on our hike back yesterday and thought you might like it."
"And you didn't think the others would appreciate it, just me?" I tease softly.
"It's been an intense few weeks, and I thought you deserved a break. I also haven't had a chance to thank you for what you did for my sister. It was incredibly courageous. And…"
My face heats. I haven't really had time to process any of it. I look up at him when he doesn't finish the sentence. "And?"
Zenn turns to face me with an amused grin. "And maybe I had ulterior motives and want you all to myself for a while, somewhere people won't find us. Now, you might want to check out the water."
"The water? Oh, gods, tell me I'm not hallucinating and that's really steam?" My words become a groan when I crouch and trail my fingertips across the surface, relishing the thought of being submerged in the delicious heat.
"So that's a yes to a swim then?" Zenn laughs, pulling two thick towels from the small pack before discarding his jacket and boots.
I hesitate; as enticing as the water is, what the hell am I going to wear?
I've been bathing on my own, or keeping one of my training shirts on if there's no chance of privacy.
I didn't bring spare clothes up here though, and anything that gets wet now means not having it for the walk back.
"Do you not want to get in?" he asks with a frown.
"I do. I just don't have anything to wear."
His frown melts into a slow, sly smile. "Doesn't sound like a problem to me. Can't say clothing was part of the plan when I thought about bringing you up here."
The corner of my mouth tugs up in response, quickly fading when I realize I have a much harder decision to make. I’m going to have to risk telling him about my missing tattoo or let it rob me of yet another experience I want.
It’s a terrifying easy choice. "There's something I have to tell you first." He cocks his head expectantly. "You're going to have to trust me, though, because it's not something I can explain. So if you can't live with that, this shouldn't go any further.”
"Sounds ominous. Do I need to be worried?"
"It's nothing bad, just confusing." I try to sound reassuring through my nerves.
"Ok, tell me."
Taking a deep breath, I rush to spill the confession before I can second guess myself.
"I don't have a tattoo—of a star, I mean.
I never got one at the Ritual." Words to describe my failure and what the Sage did for me form and crumble to ash on my tongue long before escaping my lips.
"Like I said, I can't explain why." It’s not a lie exactly the truth, even if it feels like one.
There's no hiding the uncertain tremble in my voice as eyes I've drowned in too many times narrow suspiciously, searching my face before dropping to the space over my heart.
The pause is so drawn out, I have to wonder if he's about to walk away.
"How is that even possible? You're clearly not a Malladap, since I've seen you use magic.
And I know you're not some long lost princess, not with that color blood. "
"Obviously." I scoff. "That would be preferable. At least I'd understand it."
"What did the Sage say at your Ritual?"
"Very little. She's aware of course, but couldn't explain it either. And nobody else knows, so please keep it to yourself. I probably should've said that up front."
"I won't tell anyone," Zenn says thoughtfully, looking like he has another hundred questions I won't be able to answer.
Deciding it's time for a distraction, I make it clear the conversation is over by unbuttoning my jacket and bending to remove my boots and socks, expecting to find the stone painfully cold on my bare feet. I’m pleasantly surprised at the residual heat from the water.
When I look up to make sure Zenn isn’t about to restart his inquisition, thoughts of any kind evaporate at the sight of him tugging the tight shirt over his head, pants already undone.
Holy. Gods.
The man is pure muscle. Broad, strong shoulders, rippling biceps, a sculpted chest I want to sink my nails into, and too many chiseled abs to count. Goddess have mercy, I never stood a chance.
The tattoo I thought went from two fingertips to his elbow actually covers his entire left arm and caresses the arch of his shoulder. The intricate lines and marks have been inked in a way that makes them dance over his smooth brown skin every time he moves.
When he notices me watching, his mouth curves into a wicked grin, holding my heated gaze as he strips down to his undershorts. The sight of his thick powerfully muscled thighs has me clenching mine, biting my lip to keep from making a complete fool of myself.
I remove my top and undershirt slowly, staying beneath my wool cloak now I'm down to my bandeau and the pants I've finally become accustomed to. A whisper of doubt creeps in, cooling the desire sparking in my blood, and now I'm worried for a whole different reason.
A man who looks like that is used to being with women who look the same. Fit and strong and perfectly proportioned…not me. I know there was attraction when we were kissing, I could literally feel it wasn't one-sided, but everything was a lot more covered up then.
Maybe I won't get in the water; I can just sit on the edge and dangle my legs in. That way, I can also disrupt the surface, because I swear to the gods, if I see a pair of purple eyes spying on us, dragons really will be extinct.
A splash interrupts my spiraling thoughts, and I breathe a tiny sigh of relief when I get confirmation Zenn kept those shorts on when he jumped in. He frowns up at me when he emerges from the middle of the pool, steam curling around his neck and shoulders. "Why are you still dressed?"
"I'm not," I say halfheartedly, pulling my cloak tighter around me to protect against the chilled air and occasional flake of falling snow.
"Aly, what's going on?" he demands, swimming to the edge and pulling himself up.
"Don't get out, you'll freeze." I reply, feeling stupid and shy.
He ignores me, coming to stand so close I feel the waves of heat rippling off him as water runs in rivulets down his face and chest. "Do you want me to leave you to it so you can have some privacy?
" The words are quiet, uncertain. "This doesn't have to be something we do together. I can dry off and wait out–"
“No, I don't want you to go.”
"Hmmm, ok. Will you get in the water if I stay?
" His voice drops, low and suggestive, while his eyes remain soft, maybe even a touch vulnerable.
He chose to bring me up here. This is something he does want to do, not just with anyone, with me.
The vulnerability melts away the last of my reservations.
I don't want to rob myself of these moments because I'm scared of getting hurt if he doesn't like what he sees.
As soon as I nod, he grabs the white shirt he just took off, tossing it over my shoulder with a wink.
"Wear that if you want. I'm going back in.
I'll even swim to the far side and take in the spectacular view of the scenery until you tell me I can turn around.
" He grins, stepping backward onto one of the low ledges in knee-deep water without looking.
"Cocky prick," I laugh when he surfaces, and his grin widens, eyes sparking. "You don't have to turn around." I slip my arms out from under the cloak to unbutton my pants. "Unless you want to admire the mountains. I can turn around if I’m distracting you?"
"I'm quite happy with this view, actually," he replies, fixated on my hands sliding fabric over my hips and down my legs.
I know he's catching glimpses of what little I'm wearing underneath when his eyes blaze, and he demands, "Are you telling me that's what you've been wearing under your leathers every day?
Fucking hell. How am I going to concentrate on anything now? "
My laugh is innocent as I expose more of my body encased in delicate strips of lilac silk that leave little to the imagination.
I've always loved beautiful underwear; it's the only thing I've ever worn just for me.
His voice is low and husky when he continues.
"That is…highly impractical for a Shield and not regulation, you know?
Definitely not approved to hike or ride or climb in. "
"No? Maybe you should stop staring if you're so concerned."
"Oh, trust me, I’m trying."
"Let me put you out of your misery then." In a flash, I swap the cloak for his delicious-smelling shirt and slip into the steamy water under the weight of his heavy gaze. A moan escapes my lips as every muscle in my body relaxes.
"Please tell me I don’t have to keep my distance.
You can't make sounds like that and expect me to behave," Zenn forces through gritted teeth, blatantly looking me up and down.
I curl a beckoning finger and his eyes go dark at the way his wet shirt clings to every one of my curves, whispering, "Worth the damn wait and then some. "
The compliment makes me blush, and I allow it to sink all the way to the softest, rawest parts of me that keep fearfully insisting I'm not good enough for a man like this.
He's looking at me like nothing could be further from the truth.
And even if it's only for today, or maybe a few weeks, I'm choosing to believe it could be true.
My breath hitches when Zenn gently grabs the loose fabric, pulling me through the heated water until my feet find a wide ledge, and I'm standing in front of him, looking out over the incredible natural beauty of Atafye.
"So, this is what you brought me up here for?" I tease. My heart is racing like a hummingbird's wings, from the feeling of his hands circling my waist, grazing the bare skin under his shirt. Or maybe from being right on the edge of this precipice with only open air in front of us.
Heavy flakes of snow start to fall around us as he hums thoughtfully, picking up the end of my messy braid and tugging off the tie before pulling the thick, wet strands apart until it's loose and falling down almost to my waist. He runs his fingers through it a few times then sweeps it off one shoulder.
"Safe to say this has definitely crossed my mind once or twice. "
His words and the feel of his thumb rubbing circles into my neck, sending tremors through my body. A hollow, anticipatory ache unfurls inside me. Can I let myself be this vulnerable? What if he doesn't want me after? Maybe I should warn him I don't really enjoy sex.
"Hey, why are you shaking?" Zenn steps closer and wraps both arms around me, pulling me close so my back is pressed to his firm chest.
Heart racing, I quickly shake my head. "I'm fine." Fuck, I need to snap out of it before I ruin this.
His voice rumbles through me. "I can hear you overthinking. We don't have to do anything if you're not ready." He takes a deep breath, and I feel his ribcage expand and contract behind me. On the next inhale, I mirror the rhythm, his arms moving with me as I slowly let myself melt into him.
At the end of the third breath, I close my eyes and say, "I want to."
"Then what if, for right now, you get out of that busy mind and into this beautiful body.
Just be here with me." His hands stroke up my arms, coming to rest on my shoulders.
The simple touch ignites a fire within me, and I tilt my head to the side, an invitation he happily accepts, leaning in to nuzzle my neck, rough stubble scraping sensitive skin making me shiver in anticipation.
The groan he lets out is a pure hungry need I feel reverberate into my bones, intensifying when his mouth slides to my ear, and he whispers, "Can I touch you properly, Aly?"