5. Jax
JAX
Ringing out the cool cloth, I place it on the back of my neck and glance around the crowded town square.
Even with the sun finally setting, it’s still hot as hell out here, and the gathering bodies make it worse.
I’ve never longed for the half-working air conditioning at Sweet Whiskey as much as I do now.
“Whoever decided to do an all-day festival in the middle of summer, I curse them and their bloodline,” Tracy mumbles, moving the last of our coolers onto the stand. “All of them, even the little grannies that hobble their way to book club.”
Every business in Brackenridge has to have a stand at the Firewick Festival. It’s a celebration of our town’s founding, but there’s not much for a bar to offer other than some bottled beer and sodas. Though, from the look of some parents, I’m sure some wish we could hand out shots.
I snicker. “If it wasn’t for the Firewick Festival, it would be for the Fourth of July. Either way, we’d be out here sweating down our ass cracks.”
Her nose wrinkles. “Don’t remind me. Go grab more ice.”
I don’t argue, leaving her at the stand with a beer in hand. We both know I’m going to return eventually, but not until after I observe my favorite view.
Everyone comes out for the festival. It’s one of the times we probably feel like a well-knit community without the shrewd gazes of town’s gossips. My eyes watch as kids run by, soaked from the barrels of water balloons at everyone’s disposal.
I glance over the crowd, the parade of the town’s families and citizens scattered throughout, until I find the person I always look for.
“Hey.” I sidle up next to her, offering a beer.
She takes it, giving me a brief smile, but keeping her attention away from me.
“Why you hiding in the shadows?”
Marley snorts. “Not very good at hiding if you found me.”
Our eyes lock, and I don’t smile at her retort. “I’ll always find you, Marley.”
She tears her gaze away, looking back over the swarm of people and sipping the beer. “Coop looks happy, didn’t want to disturb them.”
I follow her attention to where her little brother and his pack are gathered around one of those ring toss games. “I’m sure they would have welcomed you.”
Marley’s lips thin, and I know she’s holding back from rolling her eyes.
I move closer, nudging her shoulder. “I’m serious. When will you stop pushing everyone away? We all want to be close to you.”
Her eyebrows dip before she scowls up at me. “I don’t push people away.”
I laugh, unable to stop it before it escapes. “Marley, you’re like a bear with a sore paw. Everyone’s afraid to upset you.”
My joke lands a little flat when her shoulders tense, and I can see the flicker of hurt on her face. “I don’t push people away.” Some of the sass has left her voice.
The same frustration as always pulls at my heart. I miss the Marley I knew when we were younger. The carefree, spirited Marley. But I broke her, and she won’t let me help pick up the pieces to glue us back together.
“Push away…Don’t open up, same thing. I’m not trying to start anything, just saying. Coop loves you, he wants to spend time with you. Just because he got married doesn’t mean that changed. Hell, he’s not the only one that wishes you’d be a little more open to hanging out.”
She swallows roughly. “Until you leave again.” Marley blinks as if she didn’t mean to say that out loud, and any other day, I’d ignore it for her comfort, but not now. Not when I need something to keep holding hope.
“I ain’t leaving, baby. I should have never left, and I’ll always regret I did, but I’m here. I’ve always been here, but...”
Marley looks up at me, her big eyes wide with vulnerability. It’s an expression I’ve never seen her wield at anyone but me. “But what?”
“But I’m starting to wonder if I’m waiting around for someone who will never want me back.”
She blows out a shaky breath before taking a long sip. Then she tilts her chin up, the wall going up between us again. “What are you saying? That you’ll start dating around if I don’t want to fuck you soon?”
I grit my teeth, annoyed, but manage to calm myself. She’s trying to push my buttons, to get a rise. I shake my head. “No, I’m asking if I’ll ever have a chance. Because if I do—and that’s all I fucking want—then I’ll keep waiting.”
It’s hard to catch her when she erects her walls, but I know she cares about me. I’ve seen it the few times I’ve flirted with a woman to gauge her reaction. It’s a shitty thing to do, but it fuels me to keep going. Plus, I made sure she knew I was always going home alone.
Her chin trembles a little, and we stand there in silence for so long I’m afraid she’s never going to answer.
“I have to go get ice for Tracy,” I say gently.
She grabs my arm when I try to walk away and I look down at her. Her eyes are still cast down, and I can see her throat bobbing. “Jax, wait—I…I don’t want you to date other women.”
I take the chance of spooking her and lift her head with a knuckle under her jaw. Marley keeps her attention on my lips, and I don’t push for more. “Then give me a chance. We can take it slow, but stop pushing me away. Please. I want this. I want you.”
I let go of her, knowing that if I wait for a reply, we might both disappoint each other.
Before I round the corner, I glance back and stare at her.
Her hand is circled tight around her beer, and her attention is back on Coop and his pack.
As far back as I can remember, Marley has wanted a family, and there was a time I thought I would be the one who gave it to her.
That longing on her face tells me her dream never died, only her hope, and I think that crushes me even more.
Clearing the static feeling in my throat, I grab a pack of ice, then make my way back to Tracy. I pour it into the cooler, mumbling an apology about how long it took. When I toss the empty plastic into the trash, I turn and realize she’s been watching me the whole time.
“What?”
Tracy raises an eyebrow. “Finally making your move, huh?”
I scowl. “It’s not finally. She knows I’ve always been here. I’m just pushing for more.”
She laughs, wiping off her sweaty forehead and neck. “Yeah, good. You needed to stop treating her like she’s glass.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re the second person to tell me that. Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
She winks. “Here’s a tip, big guy. It’s not just omegas who like when their men get all possessive. As long as you respect her boundaries.”
“Mrs. Peters saw Jax and Marley getting cozy at the Firewick Festival,” my mom says, keeping her attention on the spaghetti. She reaches innocently for a piece of garlic bread.
My dad sets his fork down. “Really? What are we talking about? Their shoulders bumping, hands were holding? Dare I speculate their noses were brushing?”
I snort. “I fucking wish. I—uh, I told her I need her to give us another chance, or I’m going to move on.”
The mood sombers, and my mom clears her throat. “Oh, honey.”
I shrug, forcing more food into my mouth while avoiding their gazes.
My dad cracks his knuckles. “Honestly, that girl is tough, always has been. She probably needs a nudge. We’ll pray that it leads you back together.”
I swallow down the noodles and the ache growing in my throat. I give him a half-smile. “Hopefully.”
My mom reaches over, her fingers brushing the back of my hand. “Could you?”
“What? Move on?”
She nods.
My eyes fall back to my plate, and I spin another pile of spaghetti onto my fork. “I honestly don’t know. I tried once…and I was sick afterward. It felt…wrong. Nothing to do with the person, but they weren’t Marley.”
“That makes sense. A woman used to hit on me at work, and it always turned my stomach,” my father says. “It was like the thought of hurting your mom made me sick.”
I nod. “Yeah, something like that.”
“Well, it’s always been Marley for you. That would make sense, honey.” My mom pats my hand again before pulling away.
“I’ve missed her. I saw Cooper at the shop the other day. He’s grown into such a good man.”
I smile at my dad’s praise. Cooper has, not that anyone’s surprised. He’s always had a solid head on his shoulders, as well as two protective older siblings who wanted the best for him. “He has. Though his career choice definitely gives Marley a heart attack.”
He chuckles. “It gives us all a heart attack. We all pray that he’ll ride out his career without any horrible injuries.”
“Maverick and Colt watch him closely, so I’m sure they will ensure he’s safe.”
My mom hums under her breath. “Which one of the twins goes with him again?”
“Duke, mostly. From what I’ve seen.” I’m not that in the loop with the ranch, but I’ve been seeing them more with Brielle and Kinsey working at the bar.
My dad nods. “Oh yes, Duke. Real charmer that one, but real serious with work. When they come into the shop, it’s all business.”
“More than a charmer from what I hear,” my mom adds.
I roll my eyes. “You know, for a man with a reputation like his, I’ve never actually seen him take anyone home from the bar.”
My mom gasps. “You haven’t?”
I sit up straighter, pointing my fork at her. “Now don’t go around sharing that information.”
Her lips pinch together, and she raises one shoulder in a huff. “Not that it matters now. He’s a married man.”
“Mhmmm,” I mutter while my dad coughs into his napkin to hide his laughter. We both know as soon as she packs up the leftovers for me to take home, she’s going to be on the phone with her friends.
My mom huffs again. “I hope you saved room. I made coconut cream pie.”
I pat my stomach with a groan. “Always have room, Mama.”
She stands, ruffling my hair as she passes. “My sweet boy.”