Chapter 3
Irelease my tight grip on the heavy glass of whiskey as I set it back down on the table, bruised knuckles aching with the effort. Shifting in my seat, I tugged my sleeve down to hide the dried blood on my arm. I must have missed it in my time in the washroom on my way here. The bar is dimly lit, the only source of light coming from the flickering lights hanging above. The air is thick with the smell of smoke and alcohol, a familiar scent that I”ve grown accustomed to over the years. I take a deep breath, inhaling the sharp scent of whiskey mixed with the faint aroma of tobacco.
Glancing around the bar, I take in the other patrons. A group of men in designer suits take up an entire corner, their voices rising with each swig of their beers. A lone woman sits at the bar, nursing a glass of wine, her eyes darting anxiously around the room. And then there”s me, sitting alone at a small booth in the corner, nursing my whiskey and trying to drown out the chaos of the world outside.
But even in the darkness and solitude of this bar, I can”t escape the memories that haunt me. It isn”t the lives I”ve taken to protect what”s ours that keep me away at night. It”s how I don”t mind doing it.
I take another sip of my whiskey, letting the burn of the alcohol distract me from my thoughts. But it”s only temporary. Soon enough, I”ll have to face my demons once again. But for now, I”ll sit here and drown them out, one glass at a time.
I look up to see my brother Liam settling down in the booth across from me. The table creaks with age as he leans across and tosses back the rest of my whiskey.
I can”t help but notice the shadows under his eyes as he pushes his dark hair out of his face. ”Long day?” I ask.
His shoulders shrug with resignation, and he glances around. ”You know how it is.”
Unfortunately, I do. He doesn”t sleep well and spends most of his days knocking back alcohol and pushing his body beyond what it can take. But I say nothing. I have said it all before.
For everyone else, Liam is the charmer, the smooth talker. His dark, shaggy hair and baby blue eyes get him into as much trouble as it gets him out of. With me, he lets his guard down. Only I see the demons haunting him.
My own demons are haunting me tonight as well. The bells on the door chime, announcing more patrons have arrived. My gaze falls upon Avalina Hartwell, her long copper hair cascading down her back like a waterfall. Her outfit, a plain white t-shirt and ripped jeans, stands out among the designer dresses and tailored suits of the other guests. She looks like a wildflower in a field of perfectly manicured roses. She just doesn”t fit in. As much as everyone has seemed to try to reel her back in, to bring her back to the fold, she just stands out more. I watch her from across the room, unable to tear my eyes away.
”Kieran, are you even listening?” Liam”s voice breaks through my reverie, forcing me to turn my attention back to him. ”You seem distracted.” Turning on his charm, he gives me a look and leans towards me, tattooed hands splayed across the table. ”Who is it?” He glances over at the bar.
”Oh, fuck off,” I murmur, my gaze flickering back to Avalina for a moment before I force it away. ”There”s just a lot on my mind. Plus, we”re waiting for Finn. We don”t have time to get into this.”
Leaning back, he rests his hands behind his head in a way that lets me know he doesn”t believe the lie, but he”ll let it slide, anyway.
”Whatever you say, big bro.”
Rolling my shoulders, I attempt to loosen some of the tension that has gathered there, no doubt from my conversation earlier that led to my bruised knuckles.
A commotion near Avalina interrupts my thoughts; a man raises his voice, his words slurred with drink, and though she tries to defuse the situation with her characteristic poise, I can see the unease flicker across her face like a shadow. Instantly, my instincts are on high alert, the desire to protect her surging through me like the rising tide.
”Excuse me, I need another drink,” I say to Liam, my voice tight as I stride towards Avalina, determined to shield her from harm. As I approach, the man stumbles away from her, muttering under his breath, and I can feel the tension in my chest ease only slightly at the sight of her, safe and unharmed.
”Are you all right?” I ask, my concern for her eclipsing my own preoccupations.
”Thank you,” she whispers, her green eyes capturing mine as she smiles. ”I”m fine, really.”
”Good,” I reply, unable to keep the relief from my voice as I watch her return to her friends. With every step she takes, I want nothing more than to go with her and keep her safe.
I order a couple more drinks at the bar before heading back to Liam, who is smirking at me as I hand him his whiskey. “You can”t stop every drunken fool in here from being an ass, you know.”
”Perhaps not,” I concede, though I know that won”t stop me from trying.
”What”s with you playing knight in shining armor, anyway?” Liam quirks an eyebrow at me.
”I”ve had enough fights for one night, that”s all,” I reply as I sink back into the booth. Liam glances at my knuckles scattered with blues and purples but says nothing.
We were born into this family and bound to it by not only the blood coursing through our veins, but the ones in our nightmares as well. I”ve learned it”s best to not dwell and just focus on the task at hand. I”m about to do just that when I hear Avalina”s laugh from across the room, shifting my thoughts entirely.
Avalina doesn”t remember me, but I remember her. The secret meetings, longing glances, and nights spent together, separating before dawn broke through the clouds. Even then, Avalina was feeling torn between duty and desire. Between being the socialite that everyone around her expected her to be and being her own person, free to make her own choices without feeling the need to fit in.
I understood her frustrations and feeling caught in a web of your own making. I felt the same between the family business and being my own man. We both were caught in the trap of expectations and found solace in each other.
But we were a secret. We met by chance. And now she doesn”t remember me and our nights together, what we shared. But I”m watching her blossom and I fear that to be in her life again will only bring her back to where she doesn”t want to be, that I”d drag her back into the darkness. My darkness.
My mind snags on a memory, my hand wrapped around Avalina”s throat as she arched and writhed under me. Never would I have imagined that this pretty socialite was such a pretty submissive.
Fuck.
I pick up my whiskey again, downing the rest of the glass in one burning gulp. I shook my head like I was trying to shake these memories loose that were plaguing me. As much as I cared for Avalina, I would not bring her back to a place she didn”t want to be.
She belonged in a world different from this one, one that she could be herself in and shine. I would only doom her to the shadows.
The server drops more whiskey off at our table and just in time, as the door opens to reveal the reason Liam and I are here to begin with.
Finnegan O”Neil barely lets his steel-gray eyes scan the room before he”s making his way to us, his purposeful stride eating up the distance. He is a mountain of a man, all broad shoulders and thick arms, his dark red hair matching his beard.
Anyone else would bristle at the fact that Liam and I are sitting across from each other, which leaves Finn with a choice of which enemy he is going to sit next to. I inwardly smile as he slides in next to Liam. Finn has always had a good instinct about where the danger truly lies.
Leaning back, I quickly note the way Finn”s weight is shifted to one side, no doubt because of the gun he has hidden. We”re all armed right now, so I don”t really care. Liam breaks the silence with one of his charming smiles. “How’s Sloane doing?”
Finn’s red eyebrows arch as he studies my brother before giving him the information he wants about his sister. “She’s bored. She would rather be here at this meeting with us than sitting in her room staring at a boat moving across the ocean.”
“She should just leave. Stop letting Sean keep her locked away like some princess.”
I eye my brother. “That’s the whole point, Liam. Sloane plays her part, so we have more inside intel. It’s how we’ll take Sean and his operation down.”
Finn”s father Sean is the head of the O”Neil family, and he is clutching to that role with an iron fist. Sean keeps telling Finn that he”ll pass the job onto him soon, but it”s been years now with no changing of the guard.
Rolling his eyes, Liam huffs and sips the whiskey I brought him.Finn just laughs and punches my brother in the shoulder. “When are you going to admit you’re hopelessly in love with my sister?”
“When she admits I exist beyond whenever she calls me.”
“She just knows you’re a good little puppy. You come when she calls.”
“This puppy is about to bite your ass,” Liam says as his eyes narrow.
“Can we get back to the topic, please?” I sigh, watching the two bicker.
Turning back to me, Finn says, “Jimmy recently mentioned to me he thought my father should step down soon, that it’s best to retire in your prime so you don’t get taken out back and shot like a dog.”
I interrupt Finn. “But I thought Jimmy was one of Sean’s loyal cronies?”
Finn nods. “So did I, but I guess things are changing.”“That or it”s a test.” Liam pipes in.
“Either way, I don’t see it happening,” Finn continues, “even if it did, we all know Slone should get the honors, not me. She’s the eldest.”
I snort. “We all know how Sean feels about women.”
“Yeah, the only places they’re acceptable are the kitchen or the bedroom.” Liam chimes in.
“He’s a fucking asshole,” Finn replies before gesturing the server over to order a beer.
“Are we any closer with the intel about the shipment Sean’s expecting?” I ask.
“Yeah, Sloane says it will be here in a few days.” Finn says as he passes an envelope across the table to me.
I flip through the contents. “We still don’t know what it is, though.”
“Knowing my father, it’s probably guns.”
“Either way, the plan is still on. We interrupt the shipment and derail Sean’s plans, whatever they are.”“And hopefully, cutting off the flow of money he is expecting.”
“We know he won’t stop, though. He’ll just find another way to come by more power, no matter how dirty it is.”
“That’s why we have to force him out, so we can clean up the O’Neils like we cleaned up the Calders once our father passed away.”For someone like Sean, morals and a code don”t apply if money and power are to me made. Drugs, trafficking, murder-for-hire, Sean will take it all.
Between me, Finn, Liam, and Sloane, we”ve been keeping tabs on Sean and trying to undermine his attempts to extend his reach, including cutting off his deals with sex traffickers and drug pushers.
”How”d the meeting with Rocco go?” Finn asks, his gaze sliding over to me, glancing at the fresh gashes on my fingers.
“Rocco and I had a nice little chat about attempting to exhort his staff with illegally taken photos and video for extra ‘favors’, I grumble, tossing back the rest of my drink.
“I still don’t know why you didn’t let me take care of Rocco,” Liam says.
“Aw, is the little puppy feeling ignored?” Finn jokes. “You know how your brother is,” he continues, “he needs to beat someone up now and then.”
As our business winds down, Finn excuses himself and Liam moves to the bar to catch the attention of a redhead sitting there. So, I”m left alone and, of course, my mind and gaze drifts to Avalina.
I glance down at my almost empty glass of whiskey and contemplate ordering another, but no matter how drunk I get, I”ll never erase the image of her from my mind.
Without something else to occupy it, my thoughts automatically drift to my last night with Avalina. The last time she remembered me.
Immediately, my senses are full of her. The silk of her hair wrapped around my hand, the smell of her skin, jasmine and sandalwood, the sound of her moans as I moved inside of her. I tossed the whiskey back, gritting my teeth against the fire. For a split second, the burn in my throat almost erased the burn in my heart.