Chapter 5
After a few days at the library, I’m beginning to feel alive again. It feels like my life is back on track. Maybe this is what I have been missing from before, a routine that grounds me and helps me feel like I am doing something with my days other than trying to recover the person I was before.
Logging out of my station at the circulation desk, I look up to see Mavis walking over, pushing a cart stacked high with books.
”Oh Avalina, I”m so glad that you accepted Sarah”s job offer! I kept telling her she needed to find help while I was on maternity leave and stop trying to shoulder the weight of the world herself.” Mavis grins from ear to ear, her light brown skin radiant against the fuzzy pink sweater covering her baby bump.
I chuckle. ”You know how Sarah is.” Sarah has been the head librarian here since I was in middle school, and she is the one who helped me discover my love of reading. I would walk here almost every day after school and curl up in one of the overstuffed chairs with a book.
”That I do.” Mavis nods, her hand coming to rest on the swell of her belly. She notices me packing up my things. ”You headed out?”
”Yes, Amanda set me up on a date.”
Mavis”s eyes widen. ”You don’t sound so excited.”
“I’m not,” I admit, feeling a wave of frustration wash over me. “It”s just… hard for me to connect with people after my accident, explaining to them that there are years I don’t remember.”
Mavis nods understandingly. ”I bet it can be tough, especially when you feel you”re carrying the burden of your past with you.” She pauses for a moment before continuing, ”But maybe it”s worth giving this guy a chance? You never know what might happen.”
Her words strike a chord within me. Maybe I had been too quick to judge Amanda for her idea of dipping my toe back into the dating pool.
”You’re right,” I said decisively, surprising myself. ”You never know what could happen.”
Mavis smiles encouragingly. ”Good for you. And if it doesn”t work out, at least you can say that you gave it a shot.”
I wrap my arms around Mavis. ”Thank you. Even though I know that, sometimes it doesn”t feel that way.”
Mavis returns my hug before going back to her cart. ”I”m going to go get these shelved. See you tomorrow!” she waves.
I wave back before weaving my way through the cavernous library, ready to go meet my date.
An hour later I’m at the best steakhouse in the city with Mickey James, sipping my sweet tea, and again wondering what on earth Amanda was thinking when she set up this date.
“So, Mickey, what do you like to do in your free time?”
“Oh, you know, go to the gym, check on my stocks. The yacht at my summer house is great. Nothing beats getting out on the water.”
“I’m partial to the forest myself, but I bet the water is lovely.”
“Are you into any sports? The Giants are looking good so far this year. They finally have a decent defense.”
“So I’ve heard.” I just keep nodding as Mickey talks, hoping something he says will interest me.
”Do you have investments? I was telling my friend, you have to watch out for the quad witching in the next month,” Mickey continues on, unheeding of my blank look at his talk of the financial markets. “That, plus the ER, which should be coming out soon. It”s bound to shake some of those paper hands out of their positions.”
I blink, stunned into silence at Mickey’s rambling.
”Anyway, are you going to the Preston Gala?” Mickey asks as he looks me up and down, like he”s trying to figure out what size dress I wear.
I mentally cringe. ”Yes, Amanda insists I go. And you know how Amanda is when she gets an idea in her head.”
“I do. But I’m glad she suggested this.”
I don’t say anything, mentally struggling to keep up with the conversation, so Mickey continues. “I’d love to go to the gala with you. I know you”ll look beautiful in a dress.”
As I glance at my dark wash jeans, black ballet flats, and green cashmere sweater, my frustrations with Mickey are on the verge of boiling over.
Thankfully, I”m saved from throwing something at Mickey when the server comes over and asks if we want dessert.
”No, thank you, just the check please, split.” I quickly interrupt Mickey before he can utter a single word, itching with the need to get out of here and demand Amanda come to her senses.
Mickey, oblivious to what had just happened, or perhaps thinking he could still charm me, reaches over the table to grab my hand that was resting near my tea. ”Avalina, I”d like to see you again. How about we go up to my family”s summer home this weekend?”
It takes all I have in me not to yank my hand away and snarl. Who did this guy think he was?
I plaster what I hope is a smile on my face. To be honest, it feels like a grimace.
”Mickey, I had a lovely time with you, but really, I”m just here because of Amanda. I”m really not looking for a relationship right now.”
Mickey”s face falls. ”Oh, well...”
The server interrupts him, returning with our checks. I hand over some bills, wanting to get out of here as fast as possible, practically tripping over my feet as I stand and walk away.
All of this rushing has me not paying attention to my surroundings as I’m leaving the restaurant and I head straight into what feels like a brick wall. Turns out it is just a well-muscled chest.
”I”m so sorry,” I sputter, scrambling to right myself and my purse. ”I wasn”t paying attention and...”
”Relax, Avalina, it”s fine.”
Everything in me freezes at the sound of that voice. It rings through me like a bell, but I”m not sure if it was chiming my celebration or my doom.
I look up, words forgotten. ”Kieran.”
Eyes the color of whiskey look down at me from above high cheekbones and a firm jaw. Dressed in black slacks and a dress shirt, Kieran exudes power and danger. But there”s also a vulnerability as his gaze meets mine, a flicker of longing that tugs at my heart.
”Here.” Kieran offers his arm. ”I”ll walk you to your car.”
My brows furrow. ”How do you know that”s where I”m going?” I say, looking sideways at him as he steps beside me, obviously waiting for me to take his outstretched arm.
Kieran shrugs, placing his hands in his pocket instead. ”Just a guess. You left the restaurant so quickly, I figured you wanted to get out of here in a hurry.”
”Oh.” Nervously, I fish my keys out of my purse as we round the corner to where my car is parked, unsure of what is happening and why Kieran is here.
Kieran glances away and his jaw flexes, like he is fighting himself not to say the words that want to tumble from his lips. After a moment, he looks back, saying, ”I know you don”t remember me. But we were friends. Before.”
”I”m sorry I don”t remember,” was all I could manage in reply.
Kieran”s eyes flash with a bright anger that seeps through his words. ”Don”t be sorry, Avalina. Never be sorry for that.”
I swallow, unsure of what to say. Kieran seems to be the only one who doesn”t make me feel ashamed or guilty that I can’t remember. He seems to be willing to just let it be and move on, with no expectations.
He cocks his head and looks at me, his gaze seeing through the mask no one else dares to think is even there.
”Why were you at the restaurant, anyway?”
”My friend Amanda set me up on the date. She”s trying to find me a date for the Preston Gala.”
An eyebrow arches. ”Is that what you want? A date to the gala?”
I shrug. ”I”m fine going on my own.”
”Then tell Amanda that. Use those words that you love to read.”
Something slithers down my spine at his command, but I refuse to examine it. ”Well,” I say brightly, ”thank you for walking me to my car. You didn”t have to do that.”
An emotion crosses his features, there and gone before I can name it. ”Someone has to keep an eye out for you.”
Shrugging off his overprotective comment, I unlock my car and ease behind the wheel. Backing out of the parking space, I feel the burning intensity of Kieran”s eyes on me the entire time.