Chapter Eighteen
THE DAYS BLED together, and soon Kade found himself at the end of his first month as an apprentice. It felt like a year had passed. It was long nights and early mornings, days spent hunched over a cauldron or a text or on his hands and knees in the greenhouses.
The work itself wasn’t bad. He enjoyed the work.
That was the easy part.
Porthos had been kind enough to lend him his notes spanning the last six months, and Kade dove into them every night after lessons to catch up on what he’d missed. It was fascinating. The notes were clear and precise and detailed. Hokda truly was a master in his field.
But Hokda was exactly the problem.
The healer hadn’t let up on his mission to make Kade’s life hell for even a moment. His foot on Kade’s neck every second he was in the healer’s presence. His grudge well nurtured and fiercely protected.
Every lesson, there was something Kade did wrong, or messed up, or didn’t get right so he would stay after and redo it until Hokda was satisfied.
It was exhausting.
Hokda hated him, the other apprentices shunned him. Worst of all, it felt like ages since Kade had crossed paths with Killi. Not even a glimpse of him in the halls.
And why would he? Killi’s duties lay on the opposite side of the palace, with his Guard and his lieutenant and the king.
It was late when Kade found himself trudging down the halls towards the kitchens. All he wanted to do was eat and then crawl into bed and sleep. It was how Kade planned to spend the one day of rest he got in the week, sleeping the day away. It wouldn’t help his studies, but it was what he needed.
Soft light from the ovens and the oil lamps flickered into the hallway from the servants kitchen, it was smaller than the main kitchen that was used to prepare feasts for the king and the court.
Half of the wide open space was rock chimneys and open flames with boiling kettles and large soup pots bubbling away.
A large wooden island stretched parallel to the ovens, wiped down and clean at the end of the night, but usually covered in fresh ingredients and half-prepared meals.
The other half of the space was filled with scattered tables and chairs, common ground for those who worked around the palace to meet, apprentices and guards and servants all gathered there to eat and relax, to fill each other in on the daily goings on in other areas of the palace.
Kade was never welcomed in those conversations, having been all but shunned by the other apprentices, but his ears still worked.
The kitchen was nearly empty, only the kind, plump elf in charge of the kitchen, and five healer’s apprentices shared the space.
Porthos’ golden halo was instantly recognizable, as was Taiga Toran’s raven mane.
The two were nearly inseparable, always together except for the time Porthos spent helping Kade.
Taiga kept his distance then. On more than one occasion, Kade had caught the sharp green eyes of Taiga Toran following him around their lesson room.
Taiga had never been outright hostile to Kade, but he’d also never tried to hide his disapproval of Kade’s underhanded methods.
The three others, Rayea and Boen and Hoss, Kade was more than familiar with. They were seemingly quiet during lessons, kept to themselves, but when Hokda turned his back they glared and sneered and turned up their noses at him.
Each apprentice had a tall mug in front of them, spiced wine or ale. They lounged, enjoying a drink with friends before their day of rest.
Rayea’s high pitched voice came drifting out into the hall, and her words made Kade freeze. “I still think he shouldn’t be here. Hokda gave del Torau his chance. Hokda can say it didn’t work out—that he made one mistake too many—and expel him. They surely couldn’t fault Hokda for that.”
Kade plastered himself to the wall outside the kitchen, peeking through the open doorway, his ears pricked.
It clearly wasn’t the first time this topic had been discussed.
“He hasn’t done anything worthy of being expelled for,” Taiga mused impartially. Ever the voice of reason. “And Hokda not liking him isn’t good enough reason.”
“Him not truly earning his spot here isn’t good enough reason?” Boen asked. “If anyone else had tried what del Torau did, they’d be hauled out by the guards and thrown into the streets.”
Rayea latched onto that. “Hokda doesn’t dare touch him because he’s scared of what would happen if he did. That must be it.”
“I don’t think Hokda’s scared of anything,” snorted Taiga.
“But you have to admit he’s careful with him,” said Rayea, leaning forward. “Do you remember that time I botched a potion and Hokda poured it over my head? My scalp itched for two weeks! I don’t see Hokda pouring anything over his head, and how many potions has he fucked up by now?”
Taiga hummed. “Has he actually fucked up potions? Or has Hokda just said he has?”
They all frowned at that.
Hoss said, “Must be because of that brother of his, the captain. Not even Hokda wants to get on his bad side.”
“No one does. He is quite terrifying, isn’t he?” sighed Rayea dreamily. “Captain Killian del Torau.”
Kade jerked. He didn’t like how Killi’s name sounded in her mouth.
“You would,” Hoss snorted, “If it meant he would notice you.”
“I’d let him put me in chains any day,” giggled Rayea.
Kade wanted to hurl.
“Don’t be gross,” said Boen. Then, “Do you think he threatened Hokda? Oh man, I would’ve paid good money to see that.”
Rayea propped her chin on her hand. “How nice for Kade to have a brother whose coattails he can ride. Didn’t have to lift a finger to get this job. Lucky him.”
They couldn’t be more wrong.
Porthos spoke for the first time, his low timber garnering the table’s attention instantly.
“Are you not just jealous you don’t have a name that can garner you favor, Rayea?
” His lips curled in a small smile to show that he was teasing.
He sobered, and continued more seriously.
“Kade isn’t the only one whose name holds weight here, whose connection to those with status and position may have…
eased his way. I certainly would’ve had a harder time catching Hokda’s attention.
Same with Taiga. You don’t hold that against us. Why is Kade any different?”
“Because Hokda refused him, and del Torau went above his head,” said Rayea. “It’s the principle of it! It’s unfair!”
“Hokda agreed.”
“Because del Torau’s brother twisted his arm! He didn’t have a choice!”
“But he still agreed,” said Porthos calmly. “If Hokda really thought Kade was unworthy, he would have said that and it would be a done deal, but his reasons for turning Kade away had nothing to do with skill or knowledge.”
“Yes,” Taiga agreed. He fiddled with the mug on the table, spinning it slowly in his hands. “Perhaps he saw something in Kade—a talent, or potential. He certainly has the magical prowess and ability to excel here.”
Porthos laughed as the others scowled. “I quite like him. You should give him a chance.”
Such high praise.
Rayea’s lip curled and Kade knew she was a lost cause. The others though, didn’t look as opposed.
Appetite ruined, Kade turned on his heel and fled the scene, not wanting to hear any more.
Before he realized it, Kade found himself staring at the door of Killi’s room.
It hadn’t been the first time he’d ended up there, on the outside, wishing more than anything the door would open and Killi would welcome him in.
He’d never entered before, sure he wasn’t allowed.
The room was light and warm, someone—a servant—had come in to light the fire ahead of Killi’s return.
It struck again, how different Killi’s room felt from his own.
He felt at home in Killi’s room, surrounded by Killi’s scent, his presence lingering even when Kade had spent days there alone. He missed it. He missed Killi.
Kade choked, the sudden strength of his emotion made it hard to swallow. The weeks of stress and exhaustion catching up to him all at once.
Kicking off his shoes, and then stripping the outer layer of the hideous apprentice robes, Kade slid into the comfort of Killi’s bed. He nuzzled into the pillow, where Killi’s scent was strongest, and sighed happily.
Sleep took him quickly after that.
Kade scowled down at his glass jar, watching, waiting. Maybe, if he waited long enough, prayed hard enough, the smooth buttery yellow liquid would solidify into the healing salve it was meant to be.
It had turned into a sort of jelly, not quite solid.
Closing his eyes, Kade cursed softly. The nights of restless sleep were making him sloppy.
Killi had laughed at him when he’d found Kade hidden away in his bed. Then, he’d shoved Kade over and slipped in beside him, his hair still wet from the baths and his skin still fragrant with soap.
Good. Killi shouldn’t have been exiled to the sofa in his own room. Kade had told him that from the beginning, but Killi had been a gracious host. Though his kindness apparently had its limits, and ran out when Kade had his own room and his own bed but still chose to steal Killi’s.
It was the best night’s sleep he’d had in months. He’d slept like a baby.
Much to Kade’s disappointment, Killi couldn’t spend the day with him. The captain’s duties never ended, but they had the morning, and that was something.
Before he’d left, Killi had ruffled Kade’s hair, and told him that he was welcome in his quarters anytime, with or without him present.
That was a dangerous thing to say, because Kade would take advantage, now that he was allowed.
“It’s a rough one,” called Porthos from his work station next to Kade’s, breaking him out of his thoughts. The other apprentice’s own salve was still completely liquid, and slightly green.
Kade nodded. “It’s rare for you to make a mistake.”
“I didn’t make a mistake. It’s just—” Porthos made a vague gesture, then sighed in defeat. “I don’t know what happened.”
Kade smiled.
A few other apprentices still lingered after their lesson, mulling around and going over notes for extra practice. Boen and Hoss were huddled together over Boen’s station, talking quietly. Taiga was in Hokda’s office, braving the healer’s wrath to ask a question.
“Is this what it’s like to be you?” chirped Porthos, already starting to remeasure the ingredients for a new batch of salve. “Having to stay after all the time. Getting yelled at.”
“Yeah,” said Kade miserably. “Fun, isn’t it?”
Porthos snorted. “He’s eased up a bit though, hasn’t he?”
“I guess.” It was true, Hokda had been less Hokda the last few days. “Maybe he’s just in a rut, you know, like something actually good happened to him and he’s released some of that pent up anger.”
“What good thing would have happened to Hokda?”
There was a beat of silence and then both apprentices wrinkled their noses.
Kade mimed gagging. “There’s no way. Not Hokda.”
“You’d be surprised,” interjected Taiga, appearing suddenly.
He leaned casually against the supply shelves between Kade and Porthos’ stations.
“More elves are into the whole bratty, grrr thing than you’d realize.
Makes it more satisfying when you get them to finally bend over and submit. Or so I’ve heard.”
Kade had gone rigid the moment Taiga had popped up.
Was Taiga talking to Kade? He’d never done that before. Not on purpose, at least.
Kade didn’t know what to do.
“Gross,” said Porthos. “Who’d want to bend Hokda over?”
Taiga smirked. “Like I said, you’d be surprised. He’s quite pretty, if you can get past his mouth and attitude and the fact that he hates everyone except—”
“Don’t say it.”
“—the king. I’m sure he’d happily bend for Fyar any day.”
Porthos groaned. “Oh, fuck. I just imagined it. Look what you’ve done.” He put his head in his hands. “I need to pour acid into my brain to forget this conversation ever happened.”
Taiga looked delighted. “I only speak the truth. Everyone wonders about those two. It makes sense.” He turned to Kade. “Don’t you agree, del Torau?”
Kade cleared his throat. He didn’t want to mess this up. “I could see it.”
Taiga grinned and Porthos groaned louder. “Don’t encourage him, Kade.”
Rolling his eyes, Taiga said, “Grow up, Porthos. Just because he’s your cousin, doesn’t mean you have to be a baby whenever he’s brought up.”
Kade furrowed his brow, confused. “Hokda’s your cousin?”
Porthos made a choking sound. “No!”
“Oh.” The look in Taiga’s emerald eyes reminded Kade of Hokda, that evil kind of glee. “You don’t know? Our young healing protégée here is cousin to the king. Aren’t you, Prince Porthos Yvylr?”
Kade’s jaw dropped. What? Porthos? A prince? Cousin to the king? To Fyar?
“Taiga,” Porthos warned.
“What?” Taiga shrugged loosely. “Everyone knows.”
“You’re a prince?” Kade’s mouth had just caught up to his brain.
Porthos sighed. “That title means nothing now. I’m here as an apprentice, and I’ll go on to be a healer someday. Just like you and everyone else.”
Lip curling a bit, Kade couldn’t help but say, “I thought you looked like him when I first met you.”
“I really don’t,” said Porthos, meeting Kade’s eye with a steady gaze. “Listen, I don’t want to talk about it. Can we just move on? We still have this salve to perfect.”
But Kade didn’t know how to move on from that. He felt betrayed, somehow, like Porthos being related to Fyar changed everything.
And maybe Porthos saw that in Kade’s face, because he took a shaky breath and said, “Look. It really doesn’t change anything.
My cousin and I…it’s complicated. Our family is complicated.
I don’t want that life and I don’t want special treatment.
” He bit his lip. “I just want to be healer. That’s all.
I just want to help Netyere and her people. ”
Kade chewed the inside of his cheek.
Taiga looked between them. “He’s just third in line for the throne. No big deal.”
“Taiga, shut up already.”
“Alright. Touchy.” Taiga held up his hands in surrender. “Get on with your salve then. Start from the beginning. I’ll walk you through it so you don’t fuck up again. You too, del Torau. Get a move on, I don’t want to be here all day.”