Chapter 38
My bedroom door opens with such force it startles me, and I’m not a person who gets startled easily. I stab the tip of my finger with the pin harder than I planned since I winced.
“Are you trying to tempt every vampire in this house?” Xavier asks, eyebrows lifting as he takes in the scene he just walked in on.
I’m sitting on the floor next to my bed with a map of Hamden in front of me.
I had Devon print off a few more maps for me, closer up and more detailed so I can try and figure out what part of the city my parents are in.
“Why, are you finding you’re having a hard time resisting me?” I ask and Xavier moves in with vampire speed, suddenly appearing next to me.
“If I wanted you again, I’d have you.”
I narrow my eyes. “That’s assuming I want you, too.”
He chuckles. “Your heartbeat is telling me otherwise. Or do I have to remind you how your entire body quivered with pleasure against my face?”
Blood drips from my finger to the corner of the map and I blink, shaking my head so I don’t get distracted. Because thinking of how I came two times in a row like that is quite distracting. I want to come three times in a row next time.
If there is a next time.
“What are you doing?” Xavier takes my hand and pulls my finger close to his face. I think he’s going to put it in his mouth and taste my blood. It causes a thrill to go down my spine, and it almost instantly makes me wet thinking about it, which is odd in the hottest way possible.
“My parents,” I start. “I found them.”
“They’re dead, Wren,” he says softly and wipes the blood away with his fingers. He puts his finger over the little pin hole, applying pressure so the wound will clot faster.
“No, they’re not.”
“Wren,” he says a little sternly. “They are. I am sorry you never got to meet them, but you have to let this go.”
“Let this go?” I yank my hand back. “Fuck that!”
“Fuck that?” he repeats.
“Yes! Why do you even care?” I get to my feet, clutching the map of Hamden to my chest.
“I care because I told you they’re dead and you are refusing to listen.”
“Oh, so this is about control? You’re mad I’m not blindly taking everything you say as the gospel truth.”
“I’m not lying about this,” he says and gets to his feet as well. “They are dead, Wren. Vivian and Marco Russo killed them when they followed the orders to bring back a witch so the Order could try and replicate your powers for their own good.”
All I can do is shake my head, too angry for words. I’m not just angry at Xavier, but I’m angry at every-fucking-thing. I spent my whole life trying to fit in and impress the elders. I watched from the sidelines and was pushed away even when I knew I was the best hunter the Order had ever seen.
The people I trusted the most betrayed me, and here I am, standing in the room with a killer, with a man I should easily hate and I’m wrestling with a feeling I never wanted to have.
“I did the spell,” I say, breath quickening. The lights about us start to hum with electricity. “I specifically called for my blood, my family. And it showed me where they are.”
“They are not in fucking Hamden,” he snaps.
“You might know more than the average person since you’ve lived like seven or eight lifetimes already, but you don’t know everything, buddy!”
“Did you seriously just call me buddy?”
“Yeah, buddy. I did, buddy!”
“You need to watch your tone.”
“So do you,” I retort. “Buddy.”
Xavier pinches the bridge of his nose and waits a beat before going on. “They are dead. You need to drop this, now.”
“And what if I don’t? Are you going to ban maps?”
“Why would I—oh, the fucking spell. I’ll ban magic.”
I shrug. “Okay, Daddy Russo.” The insult cuts, and I see the tiniest bit of regret on Xavier’s face for saying that. My nails dig into the map that’s tightly clutched into my hand and I stare right into Xavier’s eyes.
“You are so infuriating!” he growls.
“Infuriating? Seriously? What did I ever do to you?”
“You make me want to protect you!” His blue eyes burn into mine in a mix of passion and emotion, making my heart skip a beat.
“And that’s my fault?”
“Yes—no—I don’t know. You just do, and it’s maddening.”
“You want me to be sorry about that? I’m not,” I scoff.
“Good.”
“Good!”
“Ever since you showed up…”
My mouth falls open. “Showed up? Don’t you dare forget that you sent for me!”
“I didn’t send for you. I was specific in that. I never wanted a witch in this house.”
I throw out my arms, anger flooding my veins. “Well, I’m here! And I’ve been here. You could have kicked me out the moment you saw me.”
“That was my plan but then that moment came and I…”
“And you what?”
“The moment I saw you…” He trails off again, looking into my eyes for a beat before looking away. “The moment I saw you I knew I couldn’t kick you out because for the first time, I felt—”
“—Annoyed?” I interrupt, tone mocking.
His eyes meet mine again. “Alive.” In a flash, he’s in front of me, body just inches from mine, and his presence is consuming. “You make me feel alive, Wren, and I haven’t felt that way in seven hundred years.”
I can’t help but reach for him, hands landing on his firm chest.
“If it takes going to Hamden for you to get the truth, then we are go to fucking Hamden.”
My fingers start to ball the soft fabric of his t-shirt in my palms. He said we. He’s coming with—he wants to come with? “You’ll take me?”
“Yes, Wren,” he says and something goes through me when I hear my name come from his lips. Tipping my head up, I want nothing more than to succumb to him and his touch. He lets his lips brush against mine, but instead of kissing me, he says, “Let’s go.”
“Wait, now?”
“Yes. I’ll call our pilot. We’ll have to land in New Haven and drive to Hamden.”
The sun is just now starting to set, but there are ways for vampires to travel during the day. I blink a few times, glad my hand is on Xavier’s chest because the thought of flying to Connecticut and seeing my parents in just a few hours is making me dizzy.
“I…I should change,” I rush out. “I want to make a good impression when I see them.”
“Wren,” he whispers and tips his head down, resting his forehead against mine. I can feel what he wants to say, but this time, he doesn’t. “You are perfect just the way you are.”
“I’m in pajamas,” I blurt. After doing several locator spells this morning, I spent a lot of time training in the home gym. I showered and fell asleep, drained from doing magic, and never changed into anything else since.
“Okay, put something else on.”
“But what?”
His lips curve into a smile. “I’d say ask Mabel but you’ll get stuck filming something for at least an hour.”
Flustered, I pull away from Xavier, missing him as soon as his body isn’t towering over mine.
I go from my closet to my bed three times, brain refusing to brain because I’m so overstimulated.
I need to get dressed. Brush my hair. Should I put on makeup?
Mascara only? No, I’ll cry—happy tears, of course—when I see my mom, my biological mother.
And I need the book so I can cast a spell once I get there.
I’m going to tweak a find-a-lost-object spell but with my blood.
Once I’m within a few miles, it should direct me right to my parent’s front door.
While I’m moving around my room in a mad panic, Xavier calls the pilot and tells him we need to go to New Haven within the hour.
I can’t hear what is being said, but it seems we’ll be leaving.
Now.
Suddenly, I’m scared. I’ve longed for this my whole life, to meet my parents, to know where I came from. But there’s a part of me not sure if I want to know why I wasn’t found. If I could find my parents, why couldn’t they find me?
Which makes a small voice in the back of my head start to say maybe Xavier is right.
Maybe they are dead. But the spell. The spell worked.
Maybe they assumed I was dead and grieved me instead of searching?
Maybe they were recovering from whatever attacked them, or maybe the Order had me cloaked.
The Order doesn’t see witches as human, but it doesn’t stop them from hiring the rogue witch from time to time.
I’ve seen it, questioned it, and was promptly told to ignore it.
Knowing Xavier is going to be with me—even though he’s there to prove me wrong—makes me feel better already.
“Are you ready?” Xavier asks.
“Um…maybe.” I blink a few times and disappear into my closet, changing into a black dress.
I grab a maroon sweater to throw on over top and then shove the magical supplies I need into a bag.
My mind blanks for another second before I remember that I need shoes.
I put on socks and boots and then look at Xavier, not knowing what to say.
Is this a grand romantic gesture? Or an extravagant asshole move to show me he’s right and I’m wrong?
Maybe he really does just want to give me peace of mind and he has the means to fly us out to Hamden.
“How long will it take to get there?”
“The flight time to New Haven is about an hour and forty minutes as of right now. And then it’ll be a twenty or so minute drive to Hamden, depending on where we go.”
“Okay.” I nod, channeling my inner hunter. I’m used to marching into battle, so to speak. You can’t think too much about what could happen or you’ll psyche yourself out, but you also have to be prepared for the worst. It’s a delicate balance of thinking without overthinking. “Let’s go.”
* * *
I’ve never been on a private jet before. Hell, I’ve only been on a plane a handful of times even though we travel all over. But it’s kinda hard to get a suitcase full of demon-hunting weapons through security without raising questions.
Mabel would be filming this, I’m sure. I can almost hear her voice in my head as I follow behind Xavier.
The flight crew greets us and brings me a glass of champagne as soon as I’m seated.
I’ve only seen private jets in movies, and this plane is no exception to what I thought it would look like.
Well, I guess with one modification to be light-tight, making it safe for vampires.
But tonight, the window shades are up, and I stare outside, looking at the busy airport.
It was weird, being driven right to the plane with no security checks.
The rich can really get away with anything.
“Nervous flyer?” Xavier’s hand lands on my thigh, and instantly I feel calm.
“No,” I say, and quickly down the Champagne, putting the empty glass on a little shelf behind me. My hand lands on top of his, and my heart flutters again. “Okay, maybe a little,” I go on, but only so I can blame my fluttering heart on that and not on how I can’t get Xavier’s words out of my head.
I make him feel alive.
That terrifies me more than anything because it’s making it hard to deny how I feel about him. Beauty always falls for the Beast, but is he really capable of loving her back?
“It’ll be all right,” Xavier tells me and I think maybe…maybe he already has.
“Thank you,” I whisper, giving his hand a squeeze.
“Of course, Wren.”
“You didn’t have to do this.”
“I know,” he says simply. “I wanted to.” His eyes meet mine and my heart swells in my chest and it hits me that maybe I was wrong about love.
I used to think falling in love meant just that: falling hard and fast with the world spiraling around you.
I mistook anxiety for passion, ignored my intuition for the sake of butterflies, disguised my nerves as excitement.
But the fall shouldn’t be a fall where you’re waiting and hoping for someone to catch you.
That’s not love. Love is letting someone take my hand and slowly walking the path together, proving through time and consistency that they will be there.
Love is a choice.
The plane starts to taxi down the runway and I keep my fingers laced with Xavier’s until we take off.
Time moves fast and slow at the same time.
I’m anxious to get there but still so nervous.
An hour and a half later, we land in New Haven.
There’s a car waiting for us after we deplane.
There’s no driver, so it’ll just be Xavier and me.
I put in a random address for a landmark in a populated area of Hamden and have to remind myself to take in a slow, steady breath as the GPS calculates.
Twenty minutes.
That’s all that’s separating me from my parents.
Twenty. Minutes.
Xavier starts to drive and my heart leaps out of my chest. Finally, after all this time, I’m going home.