Chapter 17
The ride back to Seattle feels like an upside-down version of the trip to the lodge.
I glance in Otto’s direction, and notice that he does check Grindr, but only halfheartedly, and only once.
For the most part, he reads the news, or plays Flappy Bird (with the sound off), or types something on his Notes app—just one word here, two words there.
A love poem about Mike’s elbow, perhaps.
He even initiates several conversations with me, about several topics, and he doesn’t seem miserable during any of them.
In the seat in front of mine, Ashley conks out half an hour into the car ride, snoring lightly and muttering something about koalas and chlamydia in her sleep that I cannot stop giggling at.
Jesse drives, quiet and pensive and handsome.
I traced that jaw at least a dozen times, I think, staring at his profile.
That little red burn at the base of his throat? I left it there.
It’s a mark. It means that he’s mine.
I lean back in my seat and look at his hands dwarfing the steering wheel, feeling content and warm. When my song comes on the radio, he turns up the volume a little.
I smile and close my eyes.
It’s dark when we pull into the company parking lot. My phone is long dead, but the clock on the dashboard says 9:37 p.m., and I have good reason to suspect that, unlike me, Jesse is a responsible person who actually set it back when Daylight Saving Time ended.
We are the last group to arrive—no doubt because I asked to stop for a restroom break.
Ashley slept through it, Otto muttered something about pharmaceutical treatments for urinary incontinence that had no teeth whatsoever, and Jesse just pulled into the gas station’s parking lot, going inside the store with me to buy a cup of black coffee for himself and a bag of Swedish Fish for me.
I tuck what’s left of it into the pocket of my coat and step into the freezing cold.
My car is where I left it four days ago, still a little beat up and a lot dirty.
The sky is clear, but there are a few centimeters of white ice stuck to the roof and the windows—a sign that it must have snowed in the city, too.
I open my trunk for Jesse to load the bag, and wipe the windshield as best I can.
I lean against the driver’s door, wondering if Ethan will need a ride, since we live in the same apartment complex.
Then I spot Mike coming my way.
“StarPlay called while I was driving back,” he starts without preamble. “They wanted to know if we think we can work with Nephilim.”
My heart takes a break from beating. “And you said…”
“That the retreat was a great success, and we are convinced that not only will a collaboration be possible, but also very fruitful.” He pats my shoulder while I’m still trying to parse his words.
“You and Jesse are going to be lead designers for Limerence 3. Congrats, Viola. I know how much this means to you, so I wanted you to be the first to know. I’ll tell the rest of the team next week. ”
I watch him walk away, the shape of him blurred by the tears gathered in my eyes. Dad, I think. I’m going to do such a great job.
Around me, Nephilim and FlyButter employees are saying their goodbyes.
Ethan chats with Shannon. Ashley laughs with Kai.
A few feet from her, Jesse seems busy—first discussing something work-related with Otto and Manny, then talking with Mike about something that makes them both smile, and after that helping Clara figure out why her car won’t start.
I try not to stare too much and limit myself to furtive glances.
I don’t want to leave without saying goodbye to him. I don’t want to leave without him.
He’d hate that, too, if I disappeared. And the kicker is, among all the things we’ve done, it did not occur to us to exchange phone numbers. I don’t even have his email. I guess I could get it from Mike, or my cousin’s fiancé, but—
“Viola!” Ethan jogs up to me and lowers his voice. “I’m actually gonna go to, um, a friend’s place tonight. Which means that I don’t need a ride.”
I smile. In a stage whisper, I reply, “Okay.”
“I’ll see you at work, ’kay?”
“Sure. Have fun with not Shannon.”
He gives me the thumbs-up and walks away. I look at him and shake my head, making a mental note to remember this cloak-and-dagger ridiculousness for when I’m asked to give a toast at their wedding.
“Is your car all right?”
I whirl around. Jesse is standing right behind me, his breath a white puff in the cold air. Once again, no jacket.
“Do you need a ride?”
“Oh, no. I was waiting for Ethan since he lives so close to me. But it turns out that he’s going to Shannon’s and he doesn’t need a ride.” I shrug, then grin. “Want to beat him up a little for cheating on me?”
He stares at me flatly, and I giggle.
“Okay, then.” Jesse presses his lips together, looking around the parking lot.
Most people have left already, and the few remaining are getting in their cars.
Mila drives past, waving at us with a tired smile.
Otto is next, and if he thinks we don’t see Mike in the passenger seat, he’s deluded.
I follow his Tesla with my gaze, shaking my head at his 8OTTO8 vanity plate.
“Did you know that I don’t have your phone number?” I ask Jesse. “And that my phone is dead, so I can’t even save it right now?”
“Shit. Lemme write it down for you.” Jesse points vaguely in the direction of his car and spins on his heels, jogging away. He returns a few moments later, holding out a piece of paper that I readily accept.
I say, “By the way, full disclosure, to make sure we’re on the same page…what I said at the lodge about loving your game, it was all true. Zephyr’s Blade is definitely in my top three. And…I cannot wait to work on Limerence with you.”
His lips twitch. “I meant it, too.”
I cock my head. “You meant what?”
“What I said. At the lodge.”
He said so many things. And yet, to ask him which one he is referring to would be nothing but dishonest of me. “Did you?”
He nods, his expression open and disarmed in a way that by now is as familiar to me as the scent of his skin. “About Aqualuna and Noham. And what you said earlier today.”
I nod for him to go ahead, curious.
“I get it. Not wanting to set up the characters for inevitable heartbreak. How painful the ending of the saga is. So I was thinking that…”
“That when we build the game, we should write in a storyline, just one, in which the characters manage to break the curse and end up together?”
His eyes widen. “I…That’s exactly what I was going to say. How did you know?”
I grin as I glance around at the now empty parking lot and the streets nearby. It’s late, there is almost no traffic, and I have to count in my head to make sure that I have the day right.
Friday night. Which means that we have the weekend ahead of us. But even Monday—it doesn’t sound bad. Not at all. Not now that I know whom I’ll be working with.
I look at the crumpled piece of paper in my hand, open it, and frown. “This is not your number?”
“It’s my address,” he says. Not even a little sheepish. “You don’t need my number, Viola. Not for a while. Not if you let me keep you as close as I want to.”
I hang my head low, laugh silently, and think, Jesse fucking Andrews. I’m going to fall for you in the blink of an eye, and when I touch the ground, you better be right there with me.
So I step into him. Lean my forehead against his chest. And when his arms close around me, I just say, “Let’s take your car.”